General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[DobbyForever]

Yeah. SO and I discussed that with how sick I get I might have to take a leave of absence when we ttc or hire a full time caretaker. So we need to secure a few things first.

I say test tonight anyway. Suspense is killing me.

 

[DobbyForever]

You can slways pee in a cup (I use the paper Dixie cups). As long as it has some color it's ok to use. The darker the better.

I'm not really better. Honestly fighting off some pretty dark thoughts, but SO is doing everything he can to keep me from drowning in them.

 

[mrs.green2015]

I agree with Dobby! Pee in a cup and check the color. Then if it's even kind of dark DO IT! Lol

 

[pacificlove]

There is a good chance AF will show during the night, she often does. How rude! Although I haven't had nearly as much water today as normal, FMU I think it is.

I'll have an answer in the morning either way!!

 

[pacificlove]

Pee is almost clear right now.. dang. Sorry to disappoint.

Dobs, sorry that is disappointing. DH and I have been putting this off almost 2 years as well. We have been "ready" so to speak. The hospitals here are scary so did not want to deliver here at all. Nor do we have any family here to support us. Not the same thing, but I somewhat understand... all we did was trying to find excuses on why we can't ttc yet. The house, the distance, the hospitals, the doctors, etc..

 

[DobbyForever]

Yeah, hugs. I don't mind waiting. I just feel so empty. I have high anxiety and depression hits hard. There was this great article that talked about the struggle anxious people go through when depressed. Basically, you just want to do nothing and die but your anxiety stresses out because of the need to be productive which furthers the depression which increase the anxiety... Just having a hard time finding the will for anything. I sent SO back to work and he's drowning in stuff so I can't lean on him too much anymore.

 

[mrs.green2015]

I'm so sorry to hear that dob. I've been lucky enough not to have to deal with depression and anxiety at the same same. I've only struggled with the depression so I can't imagine what you're going through. Wish there was something we can do. I know we're all here if you need to talk at all. Glad to see you back. Sending you lots of hugs and good thoughts.

 

[pacificlove]

Well you have us Dobs!

 

[DobbyForever]

Hugs. Thanks. Some positive pee sticks would cheer me up. No pressure pl

 

[campn]

Dobby what happened? I've missed seeing your posts. You're in my thoughts hun and you're missed!

 

[DobbyForever]

Vanishing twin then lost the other is the cliff notes. Also almost lost my job. Just not a fun two weeks

 

[campn]

So so so sorry Dobby. You don't deserve this. I don't think I was excited to see any BFP as I was excited to see yours. I'm glad you're back on here though.

 

[gigglebox]

So happy to see you posting again, Dobs i've done the simultaneous depression/anxiety bit...it's no fun. Depression alone is so much "easier" to deal with, because it's numbness. The panic on top of it all is just so, so complicated and challenging. Kudos for you battling it. I know it's hard. How is fiance doing with everything? And f* a job who isn't sympathetic to your situation. Wtf. I am so mad on your behalf!

So...can we see the ring?!

My wedding was boring. Trip was too short. It was pretty though shoes cut into my feet. Well, rubbed the skin off actually.

 

[pacificlove]

Woke up at 4am, checked cm, all clear. Woke up again at normal time, POAS and BFN. AF showed when I went to wipe....

At least I was right about this having been another 30 day cycle, a stressful 30 days.

I also discovered that DH has already been wearing his long john's during the day. I call them ball warmers. so probably a hindrance for the next 124 days (that's the countdown until we get to the coast for warmer temperatures)
DH is super skinny..

First snowfall here this morning.. AAAAAH!!!! just a bad start all around...

 

[gigglebox]

Not sure if you'll appreciate this but i wrote this thread a couple months back when i was worried/hoping i was pregnant.
https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/not-trying-not-preventing/2315551-think-im-late.html

I can't even count how many times i've peed on a stick and had that wench show up immediately after.

Sorry it wasn't your month hope next month is "the one" for us both

 

[mrs.green2015]

Sorry this wasn't your month pacific. Hopefully next month will be a lot better. I too have poas with AF immediately after. It's even more frustrating then just get than her normally showing up.

 

[pacificlove]

Thanks ladies... I am not on my own!

It is strange though, AF hasn't "shown" anything in 4 hours... normal the "FLo" just rolls.

 

[gigglebox]

Hmm, that is peculiar...I'm holding out hope!

 

[mrs.green2015]

I'm with gig holding out hope for you.

 

[JLM73]

Sorry I'm being a slouch- bleed is like light AF....highly annoying
I skipped a few temps, but bleed aside should have O'd in last cpl days- who knows I HATE bleeding, so this midcycle crap is NOT cool. I have been using tampons last couple days.
Gyn won't take you in sooner for nonemergent issues.
gonna have to decide whether or not to mark this as AF....if i do FF will keep it forever as a 2 week cycle??
Right now I need some pepto in my life...major stomach acid bleh...