General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[JLM73]

Thx Pacific- I really do appreciate the understanding- and YES that is exactly why I have avoided him month to month.
I know I could trust him 100%, but were I to have a boy, that is a huge deal to him, and even tho he would not SAY anything, I have a feeling he would try to be involved enough to make the wife start trouble.
For example- he is WELL aware ther is 100% NO way my son could be his, but he already had lunch and snacks bought for him when we arrived at the park!?
t was verrrry sweet, and unexpected, and it's just who he is.
BUT, were I to have a baby with him, I am sure he would want to be involved EVERY minute- he is a stay at home dad(slef employed) his wife works the typical Mon-Fri 9-5.
He has ALWAYS regretted our "breakup" and we could DEF have the forever affair if I allowed it, but I have always been the Sensible one.
His wife is very very sweet, but it is HELLA weird that she will TELL me "Go in the bedroom, he's on the computer there..."
I'm like "Um no, that's OK I'l wait till he comes out" and she will say "Oh No , GO GO , so you teo can catch up!"
I know there are ppl that have fetishes of their mate with another (eww) but wtf??
I don't care what adults decide to do, but it's diff to me if it involves, or affects children.
That's why I have been blocking him as my donor.
Honestly, I would NEVER put up with him going off for days fishing, or on trips without me etc as a wife
But obvi I can't say how we would have been- he gets away with alot of it because she encourages him to go off, and I am NOT that way.
On the same note I feel bad I am the one getting the "fun" side of him, while they argue over bills, debt, kids scheds etc, but again she tells him to ask me these places!?

I don't go 75% of the time, but I can't change the fact that we are 98% compatible in all things, and they are the "opposites attract" type deal.
Ugh...too much to think about atm...I just had one of those What If days
If I said flat out-"I WANT YOU to be my donor!" He would not say No.
We still have a type of love and much loyalty between us- but it's like the "Hey I'm in jail and it's 3am, get out of bed leave your spouse and come Bail me the Hell out!"
He would be like- I'm on my way! and so would I...
ANd honestly, once I get my dream baby, I would be fine being single forever, and keeping our "hook up" relationship As-Is..
Ok...I'm a LOON

 

[JLM73]

Thx Gigs- I am def no homewrecker. He told her straight out when she asked to marry(yes SHE asked) He said he did NOT want to be married, and if he agreed for her wishes, he was still gonna do what he wanted, when he wanted, and that he refused to give up female friends, or weekend trips etc, and that he was NOT going to take over being Dad to her 2 older kids, as they already had fathers that needed to handle that
WTF?? (I was there when he reminded her of their agreement, and she confirmed. 7 yrs later, it is still the same lol.
The only difference is now that the kids are older and they butt heads on what they should be able to do etc, he admits he is NOT the marry type guy.
THey raise the kids weird too! She says "her girls"(the older 2) she makes the decisions for ( school, dating etc) and "their girls" (younger ones) they both make decisions for???
I told him this will not work, raising 4 girls, where the older 2 get more freedom than the younger( she is very let them do whatever, he believes in respect rules etc)
He agrees it won't work, but wants to let it blow up in her face later
I gave up trying to figure them out years ago pffft

 

[Breeaa]

I was totally fine until after getting the confirm. My HG level was only at 13 and they wanted me to come back in 2 days to see if it will double but there's just too much blood and cramping. I know it's gone. I thought it would be easier since it was only a day, but it's not easy. I'm still sad.

Not sure if I want to try again this cycle. DH told MIL what happened and that pissed me off. I asked him not to say anything now everybody will know. ugh just need some wine.

 

[JLM73]

Breeaa
Aww hun so so sorry....I have had 3 losses back to back last 4 cycles, and am glad I never got to tell anyone except you ladies I hope you heal quickly Breeaa. As for trying right away, I guess that is up to you and your Doc. SOme ladies have success the cycle behind a loss.

I think it's crushing - whether 1 day or a couple months- just seems the further you go, the greater the crush, because it multiples thinking you are getting to the "safe" zone...
Prob is the minimal "crush" is VERY hard, and the few months "crush" is devastating!
I have that helpful but hurtful background of having worked in OB/GYN L&D and I don't think I will EVER feel in the "green zone" again when I recall the ladies that were in their 7th-9th month even, and had a "routine" checkup turn into - no heartbeat, and having to deliver ....THAT was not something that touched me in a fearful way then, as I never doubted my fertility, but NOW I think I will be yanking out that personal doppler of mine severallll times a day when I finally do get a BFP past the first tri!
even then...there is really nothing we can do....such a helpless feeling....

 

[gigglebox]

Bre i'm so sorry to read this. My heart just breaks for everyone here with losses. Even the early ones hurt...the instant you see the second line, you play out a future with this child and it's real and you want to protect it.

I'm sorry about hubs not keeping it discreet that's so frustrating, especially if you're the type who doesn't want to discuss it.

J, i think i already commented on this before but i'd just say be careful! They sounds a bit messy, haha.

 

[Breeaa]

You guys are making me cry again! Lol I'll be ok though. I am thankful it happened now rather than later. I'm going back and fourth on waiting or not.

Yeah I really wish he hadn't said anything but she was asking questions. She knew I was there because we had to have her pick up DS after school since we were stuck there waiting. It is what it is now. I just don't want/need somebody lecturing me on my decision to have another baby. That's what I feel is going to happen. Anyway, I won't keep on and on about that.

How long do you ladies think the bleeding will last?

 

[JLM73]

Gigs agreed...I am def leaving things as they have been the last many years.
I think it's more reminiscing than anything, which obvi so much time has passed things would never be like they WERE but I guess that's the human factor.
Not to mention, it's always easier to stick with something you are familiar with than venture to something unknown.
I just need a baby LOL. Seriously, oogling over babies and names and clothes etc Everything else is out of mind. Not to mention- I am feeling stuck in a rut atm

 

[Breeaa]

Gigs agreed...I am def leaving things as they have been the last many years.
I think it's more reminiscing than anything, which obvi so much time has passed things would never be like they WERE but I guess that's the human factor.
Not to mention, it's always easier to stick with something you are familiar with than venture to something unknown.
I just need a baby LOL. Seriously, oogling over babies and names and clothes etc Everything else is out of mind. Not to mention- I am feeling stuck in a rut atm

I agree. You do need one. Thank goodness for mr donor!

 

[gigglebox]

Bre, not sure on the bleeding, but i wouldn't expect it to be much more than a normal period. The only loss i had was a chemical (i think, wasn't confirmed) and it was like a normal period...i think i may have had a chemical the month before i conceived Des. It was horribly painful, with a couple clots, but still lasted the same amount of time if i remember correctly. Also,,with my c/p i felt like i lost something, like it was taken away so i wanted to get back to it asap. Now since we didn't conceive yet, and i was sick at the start of my fertile window, and hubs was sick last month, i'm struggling with feeling like "god" or "fate" or whatever is trying to tell me i need to stop. But then i realize i don't necessarily believe in "signs" so...plus if that were true, that would mean all women struggling with infertility would not be meant to have kids and i definitely don't believe that.

Losses tend to screw with your head, haha.

 

[JLM73]

Breeaa Mine was about8-9 days in July, but that includes the spotting the last few days. Only my first couple were heavy
I'm sorry again hun. It is a rough deal to go thru...I just try to remind myself that the only reason we know of most pregs early these days is due to super sensitive tests compared to years ago, and if we didn't stats say over 50% of pregs are lost before implant completes. It's the body's natural way of stopping the process when there is a problem, and no matter what we WANT, sometimes our bodies really do know more than we do, and do the self preservation deal...
It's kind of the scientific way of looking at it, but it is the facts, and I find it a bit easier to know there may have been something very wrong that would have caused the child to suffer later.

 

[gigglebox]

^this.

 

[Breeaa]

Breeaa Mine was about8-9 days in July, but that includes the spotting the last few days. Only my first couple were heavy
I'm sorry again hun. It is a rough deal to go thru...I just try to remind myself that the only reason we know of most pregs early these days is due to super sensitive tests compared to years ago, and if we didn't stats say over 50% of pregs are lost before implant completes. It's the body's natural way of stopping the process when there is a problem, and no matter what we WANT, sometimes our bodies really do know more than we do, and do the self preservation deal...
It's kind of the scientific way of looking at it, but it is the facts, and I find it a bit easier to know there may have been something very wrong that would have caused the child to suffer later.

I was telling hubby this earlier. Something must've been wrong. It helps to cope better but yeah like you said gigs, if feels like it's been taken away from me or us. Dh mentioned having the most realistic dream last night about the "baby". Well like 5 yrs into the future. It was a girl and he said she was so beautiful. He told me he was upset about it too. I forget hubs has feelings too, men just don't show them the same!

Darn those sensitive tests! I thought I would've been in the clear since AF was already late though.

Glad it won't be a super long period. We may just keep trying right away because I really don't to miss any chances!

Somebody needs to get pregnant now! I need to live through you. lol

 

[mrs.green2015]

Landed, got dinner and bed time. Already hating being alone and sad.

 

[JLM73]

Glad you are there safely MrsG!
Get some rest! Sorry you are solo

 

[gigglebox]

Ah mrs so sorry. Maybe do some shopping when you have free time. Retail therapy

 

[JLM73]

Oh for the love of peanuts....
Yesterday FF gave me a dotted O line the day BEFORE the dip I thought was O(cd27)
So I expected FF to set crosshairs today (5dpo), and it did.... the day AFTER the day I thought I O'd grrrr. That makes me only 3dpo today instead of 5.
...Well I guess the up side is the donor juice would be in the day BEFORE O if FF is right
I really hate not having a clear O confirm on the chart, and not knowing where I am.
I do think I will skip early testing this time tho. I really don't want to see a bunch of BFNs or start to see SUPERsquinters again and watch them fade for the 4th cycle in a row
Gonna try and test closer to AF due date. I figure that way I can still keep a positive mindset, and lower my stress this cycle. Not to mention I don't have the $$ to spend on hpts this go round

 

[pacificlove]

Breeaa: sorry you are going through this. FX the bleeding won't be more then a period..

J: I agree, no early testing for you. But You'll be testing around the same time as Gigs and CB I think. I hate early testing and the only way for me not to do it, is to only have 1 or 2 tests in the house.

Mrs G: glad so see you arrived safely, when is your flight home?

As for me: probably still a couple of days away from o... so frustrating. Moving in 109 days, I packed 3 boxes on the weekend Next step: I can start packing summer clothes. It snowed 2 inches on Sunday and so far it's sticking.

 

[JLM73]

Something else weird this time around...My cervix still feels slightly open!?
No idea WTH is up with that. Cervix is def firm, and usually I mark closed as it only feels like a dimple in the center, but it feels like it is def semi-open compared to the norm...Great...another cycle

 

[pacificlove]

J, can you get another round from donor just in case?

 

[claireybell]

I reckon you ov'd on cd27 is it,? Which is what you thought anyway, last cycle ff said i ov'd on cd16 but i do think it was cd17, watery cm in morning with positive opk & then afternoon was creamy/sticky cm, much lighter opk .. But hey ho, thats last month i never know how an open/closed soft/hard cervix feels .. :-/

Glad you got there ok MrsG, try not to rush around & relax, even if its work, how long you there for?

Pacific when you due to ov?? Any ewcm today?? I cant tell if i have got anything else up there, have had so much sex these past few days hahaa its all maled up lol