General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[gigglebox]

Ha, I am one of those people I don't believe in spanking, smacking, etc. it's my personal belief that as adults we should not let kids get the best of our emotions, and also that hitting kids is almost always a result of rage during the height of that negative emotion. I have a lot more to say on that HOWEVER this is just my opinion and I know others won't agree. Everyone needs to do their own research and make the best choice for their own kiddos.

All that said...he is too young to understand what I am saying when i explain "it hurts" so a bop he gets! I might have to try the biting, lol. Not as hard as him of course! He breaks skin!

 

[Cppeace]

Lol yeah my parents said they just did it hard enough to be felt not any real harm. We were never spanked or had any major physical punishment( once or twice kneel in a corner).
We all turned out great.

 

[DobbyForever]

I think kids just have to understand their are consequences to actions. However people do it is their prerogative. I was spanked with a belt or palm of backside of a hair brush, and yeah it sucked but it never really affected me emotionally. But I know people who have been really messed up by it. I just had bigger stuff to deal with at age 4.

I’m curious to see how I manage A. So far he gets away with murder lol. I’m hoping I’ll be authoritative with him like I am with my students

 

[nyxnw]

Once we hit somewhere between 8-10 my mom had us do planks as punishment lol longest minute of your life.

 

[kittykat7210]

I was never hit by my parents, and I don’t think I’d hit Evie, when she bites me she gets put on the floor in the hall with no toys for a minute, because there’s no way she understands what I mean when I say don’t bite. She learned quickly, a week and a half of consistency and she hasn’t done it since! But parents should parent how they want as long as they are not hurting the child.

 

[DobbyForever]

A has a fever (102.1 rectal, 103.7 armpit) despite being on Tylenol and Advil all day for his mouth sore pain. My family abandoned me because god forbid I ruin my stepdad’s only vacation with my single mom problems. Couldn’t tell me fast enough to just not go to work. So here I am at 2am on the last day of school with a baby in front of the fan on 3/5 speed and a diaper on and a cool washcloth and alternating Advil and Tylenol who is still burning up and no fucking clue what the fuck I am supposed to do because I have no child care and no sick days with a maxed out credit card, an overdrawn checking account, no sub plans or materials for the end of year party

 

[DobbyForever]

And since he isn’t really in respiratory distress i’m Supposed to stay home and twiddle my thumbs even though this exact Shit is what happened before my son went fucking septic and was hospitalized with pneumonia for a week but you’re right I can calmly sit my ass at home and twiddle my thumbs

 

[gigglebox]

Dobby I am so sorry, I wish I had a solution for you! Can your mom just taje him for the school day?

Yeah my dad hit us all and I had SOOOOO much resentment toward him. It was other stuff too, I guess the way he disciplined in general and how he treated me but I hated him growing up. We have a good relationship now but as a kid I wished all the time my parents would divorce and I could live with my mom.

I know a lot of people who WERE hit and say they turned out fine but also these same people have issues, relationship issues, mental issues, eating disorders, anger issues, esteem issues...and yeah can't blame it all on being hit but can't rule out it could be a contributing factor.

Cpp not saying you're in that category, just thinking right now of my BIL who cannot express himself and always resorts to threat when he gets really frustrated, even just if a conversation has been escalating. -- just re read you WEREN'T smacked, so yeah definitely not about you!

Ohhh I like the idea of doing planks lol. But would that cause an aversion to exercise down the road?

ANYWAY...feeling sick this morning. Also had a dream last night for the second time this week that i miscarried

 

[FutureMrs]

Congrats PL!

I’ve been lurking but not posting lol but wanted to see if you guys see anything on this test!

Ok I do not understand how to load photos anymore? It says everything is too big! lol

 

[DobbyForever]

My cheer team was punished with extra exercises like run a team mile or five minute wall squats blah blah lol. Idk it was firmly instilled in me that you don’t argue consequences/you behave to begin with so it never bothered me to do them even though I was respectful it was everyone else lol

His fever broke at about 3am so even though he shouldn’t go to daycare he is going to daycare. My mom is in San Diego. Everyone left. They were supposed to leave Monday morning but stayed until I got home from work yesterday. But like they knew he was getting worse so idek why tf they couldn’t wait one more day

I know my issues are not from the spanking but it was never excessive and it was always a discussion so we knew why it was happening. Like he wasn’t screaming and just hit us. He sat us down, calmly explained it, then whap done deal. My issues didn’t step in until my first bout with racism. And when I really think about it, that incident caused a series of issues of betrayal and feeling worthless and that’s when my life turned upside down. But I won’t spank lol as I tell people all the time if I can get 30 unruley hormonal fifth graders to follow expectations without hitting them or screaming at them then I hope I can teach A to follow then without hitting or yelling

So far it’s not working cuz I think everything he does is adorable

 

[DobbyForever]

Future when it does that I take a screenshot

 

[claireybell]

My Dad used to smack mine & my older sisters bottom (bare) & f**k me it hurt! I hated him for it & he slapped my sister round the face when she was 16 because he didnt like her grungy/goth thing that she was into & thought she should be a girly girl & set example to younger sisters & then she left our home & squatted for 2 yrs, my Dad had mental health issues im sure as he was always chatting & muttering to himself, by the time my younger sister was old enough, the bathroon door had a lock on it so she used to lock herself in there lol but we were never really naughty but my Dad just lost his temper easy! I smack Rileys bottom but not bare & send him to his room no tv etc if he’s really being a butt but nah id hate to proper whack him, id ferl awful about it!

Ah Gigs im sure all is cooking nicely in there ive had 2 dreams re mc & they’re horrible.. i think its just our fears being raised

 

[claireybell]

Oh Dobs im so glad A’s temp broke, send him to nursery like you say, if hes ill while hes there, they’ll call you up

 

[bdb84]

I was never spanked, either, but my mom was a screamer and sometimes I think that's worse. She was a great mom, but she was always stretched very thin between working full time night shift because my parents couldn't afford daycare and, as a result, not ever being able to sleep fitfully with three kids at home. It all changed once her parents moved to town and my grandmother was able to step in as a babysitter so she could actually work normal hours.

I won't say I've never spanked, but I very rarely do. The only times I ever have, have been because I was pushed to my limit and reacted out of anger. I've always apologized for it, but also try to explain to them why their behavior drove me to that extent. It's hard. For me, parenting a pre-teen has been the most challenging aspect of parenthood hands down. No one prepares you for that. You always hear about the lack of sleep that newborns bring, and the toddler tantrums, etc. Some days I feel I'd rather have three newborns to care for than a moody, overly emotional, pubescent 12 year old who thinks he's his own boss and what he says goes. But I love him to death.

A. I really hope things start looking up for you.

 

[gigglebox]

Future where's the test???!!! Sometimes if you crop it down on your phone first that works.

Dobs I'm glad he's doing well enough to go to daycare. They say they're most contagious before symptoms so hopefully it'll be fine.

Bdb that hits home because I do yell more than I'd like. I really want to try not to...and I do try but my 6yo is a terrible listener! He will not listen unless I raise my voice. Though recently I've been saying things, like for example "turn off the tv", and he'll ignore me, then I'll say, "do you want me to yell?" And he'll say "NO!" Then turn it off. But I am trying to take responsibility for some of it, for example I get flustered and raise my voice in the morning when we're in a rush but it's really my fault for not getting us all up earlier to give us more time.

Thanks cb I'm sure it's just my fears...this is the longest I've gone without an ultrasound. Regarding your dad do you have a relationship with him now? Does your sister?

I told a couple of friends today about the pregnancy. They are excited doe mw and it was SO nice to finally have people be happy, not surprised, and not commenting on how soon it is. One did ask if it was intentional but I expected her to ask haha. But no asking where I'm going to put it or how I'll manage...hust pure excitement, my one friend even said she is jealous and wants a third (her husband is vehemently opposed because they don't have help from family).

 

[FutureMrs]

Okay now that I look again I’m sure it’s negative, but here we are!

 

[claireybell]

Future screen shot the pic on your phone & then upload, I remember Dobby said that once & it works do it via the reply below, ‘Go Advanced’ theres an attachment bit on there

 

[claireybell]

Future i can see a really light hazey colour line eeeee!!!

 

[claireybell]

Ahh such good reactions from friends re your pg Gigs

Ohhhh i do raise my voice ALOT & Rileys exactly the sane as Des is Gigs.. very frustrating!! I feel like i shouldn’t have to completely lose my s**t to get him to do anything.. esp while pg! SO had a firm word with him the other day but we’ll see how long good behaviour lasts lol

Unfortunately our Dad passed away in July 2015, he had senile dementia & type 2 Diabetes which im sure contributed to his passing as his heart was very tired looking according to the coroner, sorry to be morbid. He was nearly 78 & he had a happy life i guess & at 78 thats good innings as they say

 

[claireybell]

Strangely, Future as you’ve laid the test strip on the test wrapper, it has a lil arrow that says control line just where u laid the test, at the point of the arrow is where I can see the hazey line