General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[gigglebox]

Just a little pooch, that's nothing! Look at your back in those pics; you can definitely tell you're more filled out in the pregnant pic.

Pl want me to call the hotel and turn in my charm and try to get a pet friendly room? I'll do it 😬

Duck update: by some miracle the fit him in a cast. Now the struggle will be fighting potential infections and keeping the leg set while he grows (baby birds grow crazy fast). The lady said he seems in pain though but my thought is all animals have a strong survival instinct and i'm sure his preference is to survive. I hope he makes it! Obviously! He's been a trooper so far.

 

[DobbyForever]

PL I could got like 1-2 hours but the neighborhoods or resale is bad. My best bet is SoCal, but my parents aren’t retiring there anymore. Hopefully hubs will do the driving or maybe he does one shift, you do one Idk. Could you just do once a day? My dogs only eat once a day buaha so my friend just feeds them when she lets them out then comes back to put them in at night, but realistically it wouldn’t kill them to sleep outside

Gigs yeah it’s definitely pooch I can squish it and move it and all that but since Fluek is the seventh person to ask me if I am pregnant/ think baby bump I got a cheapie. But with last bd early October and a neg clinic test in late December i’m not expecting anything other than stark white. ETA esp since i’d be 41 weeks lol EATA def neg lol nothing but indent

Fluek yeah maybe with number 2 he’ll think more about it but that’s tough that his gf can’t move as well. Could he just plan more extended visits or like live near you for parts of the year (easier said than done). That’s what my parents wanted to do live parts of the year in the bay and others in San Diego.

I have family in mountain house who would look out for me and I could get a gorgeous house there, but it’s still in development with lots of land and house values drop. It’ll be decades before prices appreciate if they even do so at all

 

[Flueky88]

Dobby yesh his gf doesn't want to leave her kids and grandkids. As far as extended visits he might do that, but I'm not sure how much room we'll have.

Ah it sounds lovely though a mountain house.

Gigs ducky never ceases to amaze me!! He's overcame so many odds.

AFM my cb digi weeks was 3+ this morning so hcg seems to be right on track. I got a look from a coworker yesterdsy. I said, "the risk of miscarriage goes down after healthy heartbeat at 7 to 8 week." It's not as low as 12 to 13 weeks but it does have a decent drop. I'm assuming she probably had a loss after 1st ultrasound.

Anyways, best get ready for work

 

[gigglebox]

Fluek i can empathize...i've wanted my parents to move closer for years. My mom is totally on board. My dad is a stubborn ass. He refuses to come here. At one point they were looking at a second home in the area but I'm not sure what happened to that. My dad wants to move to NC. They own land there and planned to move, but that was like 8 years ago when they bought it and a LOT has changed since then. If he has his way they'll be even further than they already are. Honestly at this point I'm kind of fed up with my dad and it's no real loss to me to have him further. But my mom...i wish she was closer to help as the kids, especially Des, freakin love her.

My fear is, since my bro lives on the opposite coast and never knows where he'll move next and other "brother" is locked up, my folks will stay at bay until they start having physical issues, then the care of them is going to fall into my lap. They might move closer at that point and tbh i would be a little bitter about it. Maybe that's cold. Idk. It's really my dad. We have had a rocky relationship my whole life and honestly he's so self centered I'm not sure he even realizes it.

Sorry been thinking a lot about this recently as i had a realization he visits my "brother" more than me or more importantly his grand kids -.- and the prison is further from his house than we are. Anyway.

Yay for 3+! Does your coworker know you're pregnant?

Dobs the market value went up so fast I'd be terrified to buy there. If you go upside down if the market bubble pops you're screwed, as you said decades to recover.

 

[Flueky88]

Gigs, wow that's crazy he visits him more than you and his grandkids. I can understand why you'd feel bitter if they move only when they need you to care for them. Sorry you don't have a good relationship with your dad.

Thank you! After I dipped it I was like why the hell didn't I wait?! Oh and yes she's one of the few that knows. It's hard to not have a few people that know. Well in real life. It would be worse though if not for bnb.

 

[DobbyForever]

Lol Fluek it sounds prettt it’s flat ugly land near Tracy. Pretty name though Hah but I could get a brand new 4-5 bedroom house. But as A gets older that 1.5-2 hour drive to visit weekends would be ok and my mom would be willing to come there and I could have two dedicated guest rooms for my family if they were too tired to drive home

Yeah it’s a tough call. How do you ask someone to leave family so you can be with family. Does she come to visit when he does? Sorry I can’t remember. Hopefully he figures out a way to spend more time with you all

Yay for 3+! My gyn told me that as Well

Gigs yeah it’ll pop soon but the values in the bay never drop below what you paid. But it’s like without a second income how can I ever move on to a house because yeah great my condo is up 200k but the houses on my mon’s street are up 1.5-3 million *sigh*

I’m sorry about your dad. Have you told him how you feel or just not worth getting into it with him?

Gyn enailed back and said if af is not back in two months (since it can takes 6-8 months after depo to get your period) then she is going to give me a medication to jump start my cycle

 

[bdb84]

Gig- I'm sure you've said before, but I may have missed it. Why do you use brother in quotation marks? I'm assuming he's not actually related to you?

Either way, I'm sorry you have a bad relationship with your dad. Growing up mine was very much the same. My dad used to be an alcoholic and cared more about going out and drinking than he did staying home with his wife and three children. Once he quit drinking, he was home more, but he was always so pissed at the world. He ended up agreeing to anger management and therapy (my mom finally gave him an ultimatum) and after a solid decade stint of continuous counseling, I can now say he is the father I always wanted him to be. Suffice to say, I learned of a lot of terrible stuff he endured as a child and young teen and it did open my eyes to why he carried so much anger and distrust in his heart. It didn't justify his inaction and absence in his family life because he was a grown ass man who knew better, but it did help me to understand why he was the way he was.

Sometimes it sucks that I do not have all of these joyful childhood memories of him, but he has more than made up for it in how he is with my children (and my brothers'). He said it feels like his second chance.

Anyways, sorry for the ramble.

Cb- Riley is adorable! He reminds me much of my Thomas- an adorable blonde boy.

Fluek- Yay for 3+ weeks! And I am very mucus-y this pregnancy.

Dobs- That does look like a belly bump since you are so small everywhere else!

I cannot remember much else since I had so many pages to catch up on.

 

[gigglebox]

Isn't in funny how we can be more understanding when we know the background of people? I am usually very kind to others, even assholes, because i feel like there is something always behind the behavior. My dad was an only child. His mom was pretty cold...she didn't want kids but had one to placate my grandfather. She was very bitter and cold growing up, but come to find out in recebt years that she was from a horribly neglectful family and left when she was 15. She had no contact with any of her siblings except maybe one? My dad found out just a few years ago he has aunts and uncles he has never met. But my grandmother refused to talk about them and now she's passed and we'll never know.

Anyway I've definitely expressed to my dad that i wish they lived closer but he gets extremely defensive.

"Brother"...he is unfortunately related. He was arrested a couple years ago for possession of a certain disgusting and disturbing form of porn that I can't write here but hopefully you get it. Turns out That was the tip of the iceberg and he is a disgusting horrible human being and I have distanced myself from him and disowned him as a brother. When I speak of him irl it's as if he died, which in a way he did. The person I thought he was is dead anyway. We haven't spoken in over 2 years. He is serving a 17 year sentence in prison.

 

[kittykat7210]

Gigs I’m so sorry, I think I remember you mentioning it but I didn’t remember what the outcome was.

 

[mrs.green2015]

Gigs- sorry about him. I remember when all that was going on. Also sorry about your dad. I don't know why parents do the things they do but he probably feels as if he failed your "brother" in some way or as if he can save him. If that makes sense. Hugs.

I also have no relationship with my dad. He's always been around but I was always more of a burden than a blessing. He always bought my love. He would come and go a lot. He actually made a real attempt to be in my life a few years ago. Lasted a couple years ago, even had my wedding at his house. Then he move down out of state. He then said some pretty horrible things about my to my mom (who is like my best friend so not sure what he was thinking). I've had nothing to do with him since. He'll text on some holidays but hasn't called or text me on my birthday in years. That's partly when I gave up. He could remember 4th of July but not his daughters birthday. Then after he said the stuff he said I was done.

Flu- congrats on the test!!! How exciting! Also, I had a miscarriage after my first ultrasound but I know the risk of a miscarriage goes down a great deal after he first ultrasound with heartbeat. My doc said 8 weeks with a HB is almost as good as 12 weeks.

Dobs- mountain house is kind of on the hills at the base of the Altamont right? I have no idea. I just know it's near Tracy and nowhere near the mountains haha
Glad your Ob/gyn is making a plan for just in case.


I have my phone appt today!

Ok gotta put the kids down for a nap now.

 

[shaescott]

Flueks yay for 3+ on the digi!

Dobs yay for doctor with a plan to bring the periods back

Gigs I remember how hard it was for you when the trial was going down. 17 years probably doesn’t seem like enough to you. It’s pretty messed up that your dad cares more about someone he should’ve disowned than his daughter and grandchildren. I’m really sorry you have to deal with that

 

[gigglebox]

Thanks y'all, I always appreciate the support because sometimes I feel like no one is in my corner.

Fluek that is really too bad about your dad. I can almost guarantee he will regret everything when it's too late to do anything about it.

Dobsis there any reason you are in a hurry to get your period back? I would be pretty excited about not having it if I wasn't trying to conceive ha ha

I weighed myself this morning and I am down a pound and a half so I feel pretty good about that! Not that I am trying to lose weight right now but I would like to keep it at a reasonable gaining rate. I am really not trying to gain as much this time as I have in either pregnancy. If I can keep it under 25 pounds I will be incredibly happy with that! I gained about 35 pounds last pregnancy and about 60 during my first thank goodness I lost all the weight after both kids.

I discovered amazon prime has "what not to wear" and I have been binge watching it since yesterday lol

 

[Flueky88]

Dobby, oh well that stinks it only sounds pretty. The housing market isn't always very nice either. Thankfully we bought at a great time.

She has came twice when he has. This year for Vs birthday and a random October visit one year. She's on the phone with her family quite a bit when she's here.

I completely forgot you'd had a depo shot, it can really disrupt your hormones. I'm glad gyn hasa plan if AF doesn't show.

Bdb I'm sorry your father wasn't always the father you needed.

Greenie wow I can't believe he would be like that. Well I'm glad you have a wonderful mom in your life.

Thank you. Thanks for sharing what your dr said. I know there is always risk, but I feel better seeing that heabeat. Though I try not to worry much as it doesn't help anything. Sometimes I fail at that.

Woohoo for phone appt. Let us know how it goes.

Shae thank you.

Gigs, he hasn't fully decided, but yes I think if he chooses her he will regret it. She's never put that out there but it's obvious she wouldn't move and I can't really blame her. He loves V very much and I hope his grandbabies will help him decide.

How much weight have you lost 1st tri? I lost 7lbs with V. I gained it back plus 22. I hope to gain no more than 25 from pre pregnancy weight as I'm overweight by bmi. Its not looking to good though as I'm hungry and crave protein.
Are you overweight by bmi? If not I think they recommend gain of 25 to 35 lbs?

I used to love what not to wear. I may have to check it out. I'm pretty worn out though so not sure.

 

[claireybell]

Happy 5 weeks Flueks & yay for 3+ on the Digi

I been feeling soooo washed out & tired today zzzzZ! Ive wanted to nap but havent had a chance

Whats the earliest you ladies have found a hb on a Doppler? & if you did, did you find it every time after that?

Only reason i ask, i let my friend borrow the Doppler yesterday & shes 12+3 today, she couldn’t find it yesterday after 3 attempts.. all relaxing ones, chilled out etc.. she had mw this morning but ive not heard anything from her, i messaged her asking how her apt went & she has her 12wk scan tomorrow morning but no reply after reading the message.. im praying everything was ok :-/

 

[claireybell]

Just googled this & at 12wks the hb should be 95% auditable.. i hope all is ok

 

[DobbyForever]

Gigs ditto I remember how difficult it was as things come to the surface. I am also surprised at 17 years. I guess comparatively speaking I guess I get it not being life, and 17 years (assuming he isn’t out early) really does a number on someone. I second whoever said maybe your dad feels guilty? I believe people who do things like that is a reaction or learned behavior. Maybe something happened and your dad feels like he didn’t do enough to protect him. I know my mom feels that way/says it all the time about my brother and self. Sorry if I crossed a line

I also am not in a hurry to get my periods back lol. It’s been nice. But I believe the research that menstruation is healthy. Clears out old lining and has good health benefits. Idk I just like it because it feels right like that’s what my body should be doing so it needs to do it. I know i’m On the fence on a second, but I want that to be my choice not a complication from not investigating/fixing my cycles

I feel like I missed a page Fluek keeps responding to posts I don’t recall reading lol

Brain died

 

[Flueky88]

Thanks CB!

Sorry you haven't been able to nap.

I didn't get my doppler until after 1st tri. I think I was aound 15 to 16 week area??

I don't think the home dopplers are same quality as dr office. I could be wrong.

I hope that's all it is and she's been busy after her appt.

 

[gigglebox]

Dobs no lines crossed. He wasn't charged with all the counts he was guilty of so in the scheme of things he did get off easy. That said, as long as he is truly remorseful then imo the length of time doesn't matter much. Regardless he's going to be screwed when he gets out as he'll be a registered sex offender. Hard for me to feel bad for him as he knew EXACTLY what he was doing.

Cb, i found it at 8+5 i think but not easily and i lost it. I tried again after and couldn't find it. I found it the other day (i think 10+1?) but then lost it and couldn't find it again. It's possible she's just having trouble locating the hb. I hope all is ok.

SOOOO...I'm in a super uncomfortable situation. My SIL sent me a pic of a posit pregnancy test. I got all excited, congratulated her, etc...then i enlarged the pic and it's a blue dye and it looks like an evap like you know when you have the thick control line but super skinny test line? I hope i'm wrong and it's just the pic quality. Or maybe she saw something super faint and waited for it to dry darker before snapping a pic? Idk but I am worried for her, if it's not legit she is going to be crushed on the other hand if it is the real deal we'll have cousins super close in age which would be awesome!

 

[gigglebox]

Fluek regarding weight i gained 5lbs but lost 2. I am at the highest end of normal for bmi.

 

[mrs.green2015]

Weight in first tri- I lost a few pounds. 10 or less but can't remember the exact number. Mom brain is so real.

Gigs- I would hang super nicely tell her to take another pink test. Like maybe word it in a way about pink being more sensitive...

Sorry that's literally all I can remember.

Had my phone appointment. All went okay. I love my doctor and she in no way meant to upset me or make me feel bad but I did after I hung up the phone. She mentioned my weight and I told her I have been working on it and that I'm actually smaller now than I was pre-pregnancy with the twins. She pulled up my chart and said "oh I ya I do see a significant loss" but then continued on about loosing more. I know. I know. I'm really trying here. She also asked about my BP meds. Told her my dose had been cut in half and she was pleased. She told me to get with my regular doctor and see if we can try and stop the medication all together (I know he won't but whatever I'll try) she said if I don't stop it it's not a big deal because it is pregnancy safe and she would rather me have a controlled Bp than be off the meds. Anyway after the convo ended I just felt discouraged and like I need to do more work on myself before having another baby.
However, I still have an appointment to remove my IUD on the 23rd.