General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[shaescott]

Dobs sorry A is waking up so early! Thanks for the info from what your GYN told you!

 

[DobbyForever]

Shae doing a spoiler in case this triggers anybody

Spoiler

did you hear some state made it so rapists can sue their victims to prevent termination? I haven’t fact checked it but my super political friend was posting it and it popped up on my newsfeed

I just can’t get into it because i’ll get triggered. I think a few ladies here know my full history because they asked via pm but yeah.

Sounds like we have some afflictions today so hoping everyone feels better soon and can enjoy the day

 

[DobbyForever]

Yeah she said the combo is pretty good but obs you don’t want to form bad habits like I did though I think the only time I got preggo on bcp was when I was taking antibiotics proven to lower it’s effectiveness and my bf refused to glove up saying “they just say that it’s not true”. That was hard. I think I mentioned before coping from that had me hard drinking for almost several years

 

[claireybell]

Cant believe that Dobs (re spoiler) terrible! Sorry A had u up early doors.. A please sleep for your Mummy

Lovely bumps ladies

Gigs Riley loves those sucker toothbrushes - i spy one stuck on your sink ha ha!

Shae, Dobbys info from Gyn re combi pill is spot on

We went out for a yummy roast Carvery today - sorry Jez, Lol! Not to rub it in but i thought of you whilst muncing way on my roasty spuds. Do they not do Carvery type things in Canada?

 

[Jezika]

Gigs that’s crazy about your road. I did wonder about what happened. That’s so sad that they don’t even know who did it. The poor family. How can someone live with themselves knowing that.

Shae I hope the reassurance from others has made you feel better. I think it’s normal for you to worry when you’ve gone from an IUD that involved you doing absolutely nothing to a pill where you have to remember it daily and timing is a factor etc. You’ll get used to it. As for anxiety, I’ve also begun to realize over the last few years how many issues I have. It’s amazing how long I’ve gone without having that insight. Luckily it’s nothing that causes significant distress or interferes with my life to a great extent, but it’s not pleasant at all. Other than worrying about things a lot and having a very negative bias, I have this habit of being extremely impatient and reactive when minor things go wrong. An example is when Tilly is being repeatedly uncooperative or like last night when she tossed and turned and woke up crying every ten minutes from the moment I put my head down to sleep till the early hours of the morning (or at least it felt like that). After about the fifth time I was basically seething and couldn’t sleep. I know it’s not her fault so I don’t resent her or take it out on her or anything, but I just feel so angry inside, like things never go how I want and the world has something against me. I know that sounds so silly and is totally irrational, especially since I’ve actually been very lucky with the bigger things in life. I used to get like that when the subway doors would close just before I got to them and I was running late... I’d feel so bitter and like it was happening just to screw me over. Looking at my upbringing, I have some reason to believe this kind of negativity is not very surprising, and certainly there are some largely unrecognized anger and anxiety issues in my fam. All this to say you’re definitely not alone, but it’s good to be aware of what’s going on so we can at least try to catch ourselves in the moment. Wow sorry, essay.

CB I am sooooooo jealous! I miss carveries so much. No, I’ve never seen them here, other than at a few high-end buffets where roasted meat is among the features, but it’s not the same. You’re so sweet to offer to send Paxo haha. Actually i Think there are a couple of British shops near me that I should check out. The other thing that I’m obsessed with that you can’t get here is Ovamaltine crunchy chocolate spread. I’ve only seen it in Hungary and always bring jars back. I think they import it from Switzerland or Germany or something. It’s like Nutella but with crunchy bits and it doesn’t have all the artificial stuff and trans fats. Mmm.

Flueks you look great! When does doc officially check your fundal height?

Dobs that’s just awful.

Re: can of worms, don’t read this paragraph in the spoiler if you don’t want to read about my views on termination.

Spoiler

I agree that men **often** don’t see it in the same way at all, especially before they’ve had kids, and tbh I saw it differently prior to Tilly too. I always believed it’s just a bunch of cells and for the first few months is no different to any other mammal developing in the womb so it’s no different to ending the life of any other mammal in utero, and in fact we kill mature and sentient mammals for food all the time. To me the potential for becoming a sentient human was not much different to the potential in sperm and eggs or in frozen embryos that don’t get used in IVF. I do still believe these things, but since having Tilly I don’t think I could do it, because I guess it resonates with me much more what it COULD become if there was no intervention. Hence I’m terrified of getting preg when I don’t want to be. I just realized I went a little more in depth with this than I thought I would and that some people may feel comfortable with so I’ll put it in a spoiler window.

 

[Jezika]

Oh and I got more info from my MIL about BIL+SIL’s babies. Apparently they used a surrogate from Georgia (the country, not the state!) and used their own eggs and sperm. I think it’s because in the UK commercial surrogacy is illegal (as it is in Canada too) but there are proper surrogacy agencies in Georgia (same as in the US). I think they had many, many losses before and even a loss through another surrogate, hence keeping this quiet for so long. They’re expecting a boy and a girl and will travel to Georgia in December for the birth and have to stay there for three months while they sort out all the legal paperwork. They essentially need to legally adopt the children even though they’re genetically theirs. Quite fascinating and I’m so happy for them since their journey has been such a painful one. Just wish Tilly’s cousins weren’t all going to be on the other side of the ocean.

 

[pacificlove]

Jez, wow, Lucky Tilly to have this many cousins soon, even if across the pond. Ls will be off a few more years I'd say...
Very fascinating about having to legally adopt your own biological children!
I recently read that the queen of England technically has finally say/custody of all her grandchildren.

Love the bump shots, some days I feel like I have absolutely none, and others I feel so very far...

 

[Cppeace]

]In Response to Dobs :

Spoiler

I researched into this somewhat and like most sensationalized titles, there is much more to the story. The whole thing is too broadly written, but was originally about husbands rights. In my opinion it truly is a selfish and terrible thing to 100% make a decision in which involves another committed person like they have no part in it at all. Yes, a woman carries a baby, but that man supplied half of the dna, it is in fact half theirs and they get zero say. I'm not saying women should lose rights but it is pretty terrible for a woman to 100% take that choice from a husband or committed partner. That's my opinion on it. I don't judge anyone's choices, though.

 

[Flueky88]

Gigs lol same great style nice bump pic.

I really hate that for your friend. I hope she finds a man that'll treat her with respect and love. I hope she can heal from her choice too.

I wonder why the increase in accidents when they were nonexistent. More distracted drivers??

Dobby sorry V got up too early for me today and I can't nap

On spoiler, That is an instance where a man has absolutley no right on choice. Good grief, what's the world coming to when perps have more rights than victims.

Shae thank you. It keeps coming back from need for sleep. Can't wait for DH to get home.

Did you go shopping yet?

Jez thanks! I can't remember if they started at 20 or 24 weeks with V. I'm thinking 24 though. Funny thing I was slightly behind with her. I knew I would have a large baby because it's bound to with genetics. I can only imagine her weight if full term.

That's an interesting process especially having to legally adopt your own biological children.

I know they'll be across the pond, but it's amazing how technology can keep you connected as opposed to 20 years ago

CB sounds yummy, I'm jealous!!

Cppeace fx ff is right on O date with your good timing.



Ugh I just feel awful.... I wish DH could leave work and come home now, but not much longer.

 

[shaescott]

Dobs I hope that’s not true about the spoiler box thing. I highly doubt it would be in my state, my permanent address is in MA, it’s a very liberal state, and they don’t like restricting termination, though you have to have parents permission under maybe 16-18? That depends on the state. Anyway. I know your history, and I totally understand and support your decisions. i also knew someone whose sister got pregnant on the pill because of antibiotics.

Jez I’m totally the same with emotional issues, it’s worse when I’m off my meds. I can’t deal with my emotions well when I’m off my meds. It’s like everything sets me off. On my meds I’m much better. So crazy about the surrogate being in Georgia! And the whole adoption thing. Odd. I’ll spoiler my thoughts on termination below.

Spoiler

I’m pro-choice, I’ll start with that. I pretty much agree that at first they’re just a clump of cells, but I do believe potential life is still important, and I think every termination is a tragedy due to the loss of a potential life, BUT I understand that often it’s the better choice for everyone involved including the baby. I would never judge someone for terminating. When I was in high school if I had gotten pregnant I may very well have terminated. I can’t know though, as it didn’t happen, thank god.

CP I’m glad that it seems it’s actually about what you mentioned. I’m not sure how I feel about that, but it’s much better than what Dobs had seen.

 

[Cppeace]

Lol FF can't make up it's mind when or if I ovulated. With today's temp, it wanted to say I ovulated way back on cd 12... Yeah, no that didn't happen lol. All indications points to cd 21 except my temps are lower than normal. But instead of 1 day ovulation pain I had 3 so

 

[Cppeace]

On the topic:

Spoiler

It is able to have the sensationalized title on those articles because of the fairly rare cases (at least reported ) of spousal rape. Overall the laws and proposed laws are mostly about husband rights more than anything else.

 

[claireybell]

Cpeace probs as cd12 was the lowest temp on the chart lol, fx for u this cycle though, if u did ov cd21, it be perfect bd’ing indeed

I havent read any of the spoilers put on but il have a peruse shortly..

Ooh Jez that Ovaltine crunch spread thing u mentioned sounds lush.. cue Heart Eye emoji lol!

With regards to still having to officially adopt even though its biologically their children, my cousin had this aswell, he’s Gay & him & his partner always wanted children though, my cousin had to adopt his twins boy & girl in the States officially before he could bring them back to UK, they were only there for about 6wks & then flew home, most of the paperwork had already been prepared & just needing signing & then waited for passports, my sister went over with him to help for a month, as the surrogate is the Birth mother, her name will be on birth cert & thats why they need to adopt as the new parent & legal guardian, he paid thousands for the whole thing as it wasnt able to be done in the uk, its his sperm & donor eggs, the Twins are 18 months now & i had to laugh as he said parenting looks easy haha the Twins are into everything atm but they’re lovely So excited for your BIL & your brother & partners for expecting later in year

 

[claireybell]

I have no idea how to do s Spoiler so

 

[Cppeace]

You have to go to advanced and click the face with blindfold or put in the

Spoiler

[/spoiler ] without the spaces I put in the second one before and after you words.

 

[JLM73]

CP I'd agree with your thoughts. Looks like cd21 O and a fall back on temps 4dpo is common

 

[JLM73]

Whew...somehow I missed a very serious topic!
I'll just say 1 I'm pro-choice full stop.
I got preg at 17 with oldest son, BUT had also graduated the month before AND was in local university premed blah blah
I also purchased my 1st home 2 yrs later, and had been working and owned a car forever, so I didn't feel the full strain of a typical teen preg.
If anything- EVERYone was telling me terminate ( I hid it from fam for 5 months)
but likely being defiant kept me from the terminantion clinic....I'd been before at 15...
Sooo I will say I fault/judge NO ONE for their choices.
At the end of the day WE have to live with what we choose, not others.
Also, I had dear friend/neighbor who was date raped, and her fam was super religious- they not only forced her at 16 to Have the baby, but also MARRY the guy!?!
She was suicidal for yearrrrs and hated the guy, and was detached from baby...
Soo So sad to watch....not even sure she is alive today, as we lost touch, but that was another big factor I had in remaining Pro-Choice, even now being in cycle 54 and being willing to do anything up to VooDoo to conceive

And somehow the planets aligned ysterdy and I managed to hook up YAY...so we'll see what happens as I have not been temping for Sh*t lol and opk was neg as hell ystrdy, but I may have missed the surge

 

[gigglebox]

J who did you hook up with? I thought your new guy was snipped?

Ok random unrelated to anything question...I've heard people say "british accent" and "english accent" interchangeably. Is there actually a difference? Especially in the opinion of the UK girls.

Kit I've been thinking of you. Not sure if you're reading up but I hope you're hanging in there ok.

I've been sucking down sweets recently. I hope I'm not scolded for weight gain at my appointment Friday also hope she'll oblige to an ultrasound...

 

[DobbyForever]

TRIGGERED got a jury summons fts and my ex is f*ing with A’s health insirance

 

[claireybell]

Fx for Ultrasound Gigs Do they weigh you at every Antenatal apt? They never weigh you in the uk apts now, well they don’t at our Drs surgery! Only weight check is when you have your first MW apt before 12 wks..

British/English accent im guessing its the same kinda thing? Im English so..?

Oooh J yes tell ys more