General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[JLM73]

Hi ladies still sick here- killer migraine all day.
Gig I won't tell mom until I have had all my testing done.4-5 months likely.
If I can stop feeling bad long enough to meet the donor and IF it works it will be winter so no prob wearing baggy stuff.
Good snag on tests Dob.
I have def left there with 10 at a time.
This one cashier saw me buy 10 opks and come back later that week to trade what I didn't use for hpts.
Then she's like OH honey why are you getting so many.
As soon as you stop trying and relax it will just happen
I put on a very fake smile and told her at almost 42, it isn't that easy anymore.
I wanted to drag her ass across the counter and tell her to not be so damn nosey.
I had to start shopping at a diff store for a month, bcuz the last thing I need is blabbermouth cashier to ask if I'm pregnant yet while my mom is with me ugh

 

[claireybell]

Uhhh yappy cashiers always like to gossip & chat s**t!! Feel your anger & frustration though J, Always feeling they need to impose their wisdom & experience urghh, pfft

 

[claireybell]

Sorry your feeling rubbish though, do you suffer from migraines alot?

 

[DobbyForever]

Awww cute Claire and Gigs!

J, so sorry to hear you're still not feeling well

Nosey cashiers are so bothersome. After ttc three I had to start switching up which stores I buy my tests from. Thank goodness walmart and target have self checkout lol.

Afm, lots of cramping and discharge. Super emotional. Everything makes me cry but that could easily be stress lol.

 

[pacificlove]

uggh.. I just had this big message typed out only to find out the forum had timed out on me..

JLM: sorry I haven't checked in in over a week, did you get a bpf??

DH and I just got back from a successful house hunting trip. We found a lovely acreage in the gulf islands. We take possession in March. (We wanted end of October, but the seller is getting heart surgery and has no help to move. So we did the nice thing and agreed to her terms since we really want to move before the white stuff hits the ground here).

As for my cycle: I have lost track of which day I am on right now. Should have ovulated this weekend or right about now if I am correct. As you might remember, I don't track o in any way. DH and I have been doing the bd at least every other to every day

 

[gigglebox]

PL, good luck on this month! Actually that goes for you all!

Tonight, i am deflated. Crushed. Gutted. I was talking about boy baby names and hubs says, "you've got to chill out on the baby stuff. We can't even try for a couple months anyway."

O_O

Wtf?! I said, "what?! I thought we were trying next month!" He went into the financial reasons and said we don't have any money (which is definitely an exageration, we do have money....it's just tight, but we have been paying all our bills and we don't have any debt at all, excluding mortgage).

I'm just totally sad now. And then he makes this comment later in casual discussion about how "we've got more babies to make". I just went silent after he said that. It just felt like being toyed with and it made me upset.

Wtf.

I've got 3 weeks to change his mind. My damn ducks better start laying!

 

[JLM73]

Pacific I had a few very faint bfps but never darkened and I think I started the progesterone too late to save it. Back to back chems for me. I have the natural progest waiting on the counter...but I have to figure a way to meet the donor this weekend.
I've been sick most the week, so I def will only make 1 run that far, and must time it well.
Gigs Sorry your man totally crushed your hopes. I find men are pretty wishywashy, and sometimes we have to take the lead...I say just don't let him know where you are in your cycle next month, and Molest him at the appropriate time.
Thx Claire and Dobs- hope to be feeling better tomorrow...stomach sickness then cpl days of migraines suck @$$
I had a car accident a cpl years ago where a lady plowed me from behind, and I have some bulging discs in my neck, and it seems the migraines come from that as well. Some days I just want to lay in bed but hard to do with my mother nagging me and a very busy 4 yr old.

 

[claireybell]

My man says randomly, well, im not fussed on another but its upto you.. Enrages me! Next cycle will be my cycle, i will fir e myself to hump most days upto ovulation Lol!

Gig, men dont really tend to know where in the month we ovulate, i know mine doesnt pay attention.. Carry in BD'ing like your not fussed hehe, i mean what if you just found out you were pg like in a couple of days, that be too late for waiting a few months, men!

J, ouchy!! Did you have any physio or is there anything they can do for that disc? Can i ask re the Donor- do you do this with meet up hump sessions or through Drs iffice as such, just a general wondering

 

[claireybell]

Awww cute Claire and Gigs!

J, so sorry to hear you're still not feeling well

Nosey cashiers are so bothersome. After ttc three I had to start switching up which stores I buy my tests from. Thank goodness walmart and target have self checkout lol.

Afm, lots of cramping and discharge. Super emotional. Everything makes me cry but that could easily be stress lol.

oooh i had lotsa cm after ov'ing with my son, forgot about that, like tons of it & had to a liner.. I just looked at my old temp chart, all good things Dob

 

[gigglebox]

I couldn't "trick" hubs into it. I would feel horrible about that...besides, i want him to want it. Last time it felt all a bit one sided and I don't wnat to do that again...i can't be the only one ready and willing to do it. then it would be my "fault" any time we hit a financial speed bump, or i was getting frustrated with two kids....it'd be all, "well this is what you wanted!"

I'm just beside myself with upset and hubs doesn't get that aspect of it at all. He thinks we'd be putting our lives in financial jeopardy, and when I said we won't be in the same financial position in 10 months he said he's "not willing to make that gamble".

So what the fuck does that mean?! It sounds like he wants to put it off until we have the extra finances already coming in. That might not be until next year.

I'm crushed.

 

[DobbyForever]

Gigs, hugs. There's a lot of "I think" statements. All I can say is sit him down and figure out exactly what is going on, and tell him how you feel. SO does shit like that all the time since I have known him and does not realize it. So I am constantly having to put out the stuff he says. He usually apologizes lol.

PL, congrats! That sounds fun and very nice of you.

Claire, got my fingers crossed for you!

J, have you worked out timing with donor this cycle yet? How do you normally figure it out?

Afm, nothing new lol

 

[gigglebox]

That's the problem, we sat and talked last night and he very adamantly stated we can't do it, that we've been in a deficit every month with our funds and slowly losing money...and he's not wrong, but we spend frivolously sometimes, like going out to eat. Regardless,mi need to figure out a solution or this isn't going to happen any time soon. He doesn't want me to get a part time job so....what else.....

 

[pacificlove]

Sorry gigglebox, men can be so tricky sometimes. Maybe give it a cycle or 2 and just try to save as much as you can? No date nights, no additional spendings, etc...? Then bring the topic back up again?

Mine tried pushing against vaginal sex (sorry TMI here) last night so much that I just about just jumped off him. I should be o'ing yesterday or today I think so wasn't having it.... when I talked to him about it after he said "oh I was only bugging you". yet we keep talking about what a pregnancy would bring us very happily.

JLM, sorry to hear it was another chemical. *hugs* Wishing you better luck this cycle!!

 

[JLM73]

Claire mostly neck thing is just stretches, and I have a TENS unit as well as muscle relaxers if need.
I try to get by with the min
As for the donor, I know him from when we were both signed up with an agency - just shared the same circles, so I drive hours to meet up for "cups of goo" but as I don't want to chance anything, I get "fresh" samples...which awkwardly requires some "assistance."
Hope the cops never check out the grope fest in the car parked on the dark side of the McDonalds Luckily for me and sadly for him, he's quick about it, so the weird part is what to talk about after I have a warm cup in hand LOL
It's going to be the 5th cycle, so not as awkward since we have the usual banter down.
He tends to rush off more than me causing him to feel awkward- then I run into the restroom to inject the "special sauce"
Needs a little time to liquefy anyhow...just the natural process, but I really hope to get a menstrual cup byt the weekend. Then I can just insert the cup, like a diapragm for the drive home...much less messy...sigh the fun of ttc

 

[JLM73]

Me again - catching up

Dobs I just aim as close to cd 12-14 to meet donor. Luckily has fallen on weekends, and I usually O cd13ish
Gigs I'm sorry sweetie - he is making it sound like a long wait! I always pushed the live for today thing when my ex hubby was being unreasonable.
Sounds like you have ways to cut the spending.
Maybe make something visual like the TTC fund jar.
Everytime you don't splurge out to eat or whatever- physically put the money in there.
My chimney friends wanted a 4 day cruise and never thought they could.
I was like - umm hun, if you and hubby cut out the damn cancer sticks you could easily take a cruise...
They actually TRIED it lol - worst smokers ever, but in 2 months they fully paid for a FOURTEEN day cruise
Sometimes we just need to give up something temporarily.
There must be a way to stim your duckies into laying - like they do with chickens.
I am getting constant flack from my mom because she doesn't think my cooking biz is a real job, but screw that- I love making my own sched, and being able to take my son with me on runs etc.
I spent ALL my life in public service running into places ppl were running out of - I never had time for family nor big family trips, and I'll be damned if I spend the next 40 yrs saying- I wish I would have...

 

[JLM73]

Decided to try out the Walmart Equate opk...blue dye but wanted to try something diff and damned if this woman doen't start lecturing me about "Oh honey! These here 88cent walmart tests are every bit as good, don't waste your money on that other brand!"
She was talking so loud everyone in the aisle turned around
So I said "Yes I know, I use them, but this is an OV-U-LAYYYY-TION test....you use these BEFORRRRRE those..." (Insert Fake Smile Here)
She looked confused, then said Ohhhhh! Well Congratulations!"
Anyhow, tried one as a baseline, last time I got +s cd9/10, neg cd11,12 then +cd13...sigh. Been crampy all day...after that chem I hope I O ontime

 

[gigglebox]

I will write a proper response later but...
I just came home from a play date with a bunch of friends.

Turns out it was a surprise pregnancy announcement party for another one of them.

That makes 3 pregnant friends and 2 TTC.

So much salt in my wounds right now

 

[DobbyForever]

Aww Gigs! Hugs. I am so sorry. That stinks. I threw a wedding shower today, and I know they are planning on TTC officially once the wedding is done. They just bought a townhouse with two bedrooms and puppy... So jealous. Her bf is so much like my SO, but she waited SEVEN years before he finally proposed. I commend her. I just gave up on SO ever marrying me. I would love to do things the "right" way in the eyes of my friends and family, but if the man doesn't believe in "the government giving [him] a permission slip to spend [his] life with someone" then what can you do?

I will respond in a bit got a phone call

 

[gigglebox]

Ah, my hubs is a bit (read: lot) anti-gov too not in a bad way...I mean, i think he's right...But that's beside the point. 7 years is a long time...I really wanted the whole wedding thing and was butt hurt that he hadn't asked me yet 3 years in lol! I really wanted the whole wedding thing...but truth be told, I was broody already and I wanted a wedding so we could start with the baby making (we got married in April, conceived in my june/july cycle). So yeah, can definitely relate to feeling like everyone is getting what you want. Very frustrating...

Saw hubs when I got home, had it written all over my face that I was upset. I told him why and he put his foot down on finances. I just stated it sucked that everything else was perfect, and left it at that.

 

[DobbyForever]

Back.

Gigs, hugs. I agree with everyone. You have to decide what matters to you more: proving to hubs that you can handle a baby financially or having date nights. I don't mean to mother you, but before I met SO I was 11k in debt. It took me almost two years to get out of it. I had paid off my BA debt and saved $15k in one year being super frugal. One month, I started having a small deficit. Over time, that small deficit turned into 5k in debt. Then I got int it legally with a bf and that was 6k. Next thing I knew, my savings was GONE and I was deep in debt. So I can see why he might be looking at the finances on the long term repercussions versus month to month. So if you want that baby, you're going to have to really reign in the luxury spending now to show hubs you two can do it. It's easy to say we'll stop going out and another to actually do it/ show it.

J, omg that is hilariously awkward. Have you looked into this thing called the Stork? It's crazy expensive for a one time use. But it's a device to help you inseminate yourself. It's OTC at CVS. Right where they keep the pregnancy tests. I watched their promo video on YouTube and it looks confusing as hell lol
https://www.cvs.com/shop/sexual-hea...cy-fertility-tests/the-stork-otc-skuid-971320