General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[Jezika]

Merry belated Christmas everyone!

Gigs - I’m glad baby M is is still brewing and that you’re over the stomach bug. Stomach bugs are one of my biggest fears!

Shae - I really feel for you having to get up so early! Don’t you sometimes go to bed close to 6am? On the plus side, it’ll give you a slight taster of shift work, which I’m guessing is unavoidable in nursing, at least at some point. So awful, though, and bad for health.

CB - can’t believe you’ve not heard of deviled eggs! I swear they have them in England too? Unless I’m really not remembering. So tasty though. Sounds like Hayden has been letting you rest a bit more. What’s it like to have three kids so far?

Texas - that’s sad about your sister moving so far away. Is it easy enough to fly out and visit from time to time? The one thing (of many) about the modern world and ease of travel is how families spread so far away.

PL - glad you’re in the rental now, though what’s up with the stinky couch? That’s annoying that MIL expected the other women (btw why not the men?) to do most of the cooking, but I’m glad you weren’t roped into it. Usually my mum likes to be the martyr who does everything and refuses help but then moans about it nonstop. I did help her this year, though, and it decreased her stress because usually she’s effing and blinding that she will never cook Christmas dinner for everyone again. I’m not sure she appreciated the help though. I also paid $165 for a precooked turkey from Whole Foods that she’s yet to pay half for. We also only ate half of it and that was obviously days ago so idk where the other half is and what will happen to it. If it gets thrown away I will be so pissed. Anyway, I digress.

Pretty - fingers crossed you managed to catch the O! The birthing book sounds great. I did hypnobirthing and it helped so much to be really excited and relaxed about birth rather than anxious and scared.

Dobs - I hope your Christmas turned out nicely and you didn’t have to do all the work for it. And also hope both you and A are feeling better.

Speaking of family, we’ve been at my mum’s since late on Christmas Eve, and while it’s been nice, I’m feeling quite upset that my mum doesn’t appear too interested in spending time with Tilly. I know she’s super stressed with work and she loves Tilly (and for some reason Tilly is obsessed with her despite only seeing her a couple times a month for a few hours), but she’s done a few things that have made me feel she doesn’t really WANT to spend time with her. I raised my feelings and she was mostly defensive so now I just want to go home and get back to normal where we don’t feel like a burden and inconvenience, esp as Tilly has high fever again. My mum is sending us home anyway because she has to work. I feel stupid for having looked forward to Tilly really bonding with her only other close family member in this country over Christmas, and yet my mum’s only really engaged with her here and there for a brief time, and acted like we’ve asked her to babysit Tilly for a week while I swan off on vacation with DH. I can’t even ask her to watch her for five minutes while I take a poo without feeling guilty. Hurts even more when I see friends’ mothers doting over the grandbabies and also knowing that MIL in the UK would KILL to be able to see Tilly on the regular. Sorry, now I’m venting...

 

[PrettyInInk42]

Jez - Did you do classes or read a book or watch videos for the hypnobirthing? That's something that really interests me.

Did another opk today and the line is definitely fainter. Also, I felt fairly productive today. Got to do a little cleaning and organizing at both mine and SO's places today. As well as bleaching my hair in preparation of a new colour in a couple days, but I'm kinda feeling the blonde.

 

[gigglebox]

Pretty the blonde looks good on you! I may be biased though...I'm "over" colored hair after doing it myself for so long and getting sick of the upkeep. Last color was blue and when I decided I wanted it out, it had other plans. I could NOT get rid of the dang color! I ended up just waiting for it to grow out long enough where i could cut it off.

Yay for tww!

Jez, I am so sorry! Feeling like a burden is so rough, and especially when kids are involved. My MIL and especially my mom are amazing. But I have always wanted my dad to have a closer relationship with my boys than he had with me growing up and it's just not happening. He interacts with them but he barely visits, and he just doesn't know how to interact with them. Doesn't help that he's very lazy and in bad physical shape due to his own negligence...he can't even pick the kids up without struggling. My mom has no problem.

Anyway...HOLY CANOLE, a $165 bird?! Why was it so expensive? Am I just ignorant to the value of turkey? Should I be kicking the ducks to the curb and starting a turkey farm???

 

[Jezika]

It’s Whole Foods prices, Gigs. Ethically raised and all that, but still a rotal rip-off. my mum wanted it though because it saves on cooking and it’s conveniently close to me, plus my uncle ordered it last year for thanksgiving and apparently it was amazing. It still needed 2.5 hours in the oven so I’m not sure it saved THAT much time. But yeah, maybe you should offer a turkey service each year and charge an arm and a leg. I’m glad your mum and MIL are so helpful. That’s sad about your dad. My dad (who lives in Hungary) is so good at things like keeping in touch and sending special things for birthdays and making family videos and stuff, but when he was here he was more interested in doing stuff around the house than hanging with Tilly. My mum seems to show her care in ways like worrying about what Tilly eats and how warm and comfortable she is etc., with little spurts of playful fun with her, and then she seems to like to get back to her own life. She and her partner (not my stepdad coz they’re not married but been together over 15 years) drove us home tonight and she didn’t want to sit next to Tilly in the back (1.5-hour car ride) because she said it would upset her partner. It annoyed/upset me that she’d do that. Anyway, I ramble again. Also argued with DH tonight about big problems in our marriage so feeling a bit poopy in general. Plus Tilly has 40-degree fever!

Pretty I did a hypnobirthing course and read the book, but it’s possible that the book (or similar book) alone would be helpful. You definitely look good with the blonde!!!

 

[pacificlove]

Jez, i hear you on the feeling like a burden. One of the reasons I am glad we are now in our rental and no longer at my parents. While they did have good bonding moments, I did not like that especially my dad would correct L for things when I already was. One morning L was taking his water cup and had a hard aim at one of the dogs. I immediately corrected him but BOTH of my parents did too. L took real offence and "ugly" cried. I apologised to L, told him I knew 3 corrections where too much, he is not to hit the dogs but he can pet them. Then I told my parents they do not need to correct when I am already doing it. It didn't really sink in, especially my dad.
On the other hand: I was at the other side of the house working for my job remotely via our laptop while L had a nap. 2 hours later I emerge to the upstairs to a crying kid in his crib. They know perfectly well that that room is too far away for me to hear anything coming from the room L was sleeping in. He'd been crying for 20 minutes, and no one thought to come get me. Their response "oh we thought you were hearing him but for some reason unknown to us just weren't getting him yet"
And don't even get me started on mil...
Gotta say: bil#4 made me mad Xmas day. Him and his wife have a cat that is quite crazy and can get aggressive. L loves cats, and hes had no visit at mils house where that cat doesn' scratch him. So Xmas the cat was locked away until she was let out in the afternoon to eat and relief herself. Bil had smoked that newly legal substance and it literally took him 7 attempts to get this cat away again. And his wife of 3 days had to yell at him plus my angry face until it was finally a success to get this cat away again.

 

[PrettyInInk42]

Jez - Do you remember the title of the book? And also, sorry I missed your rant earlier, and that you're feeling upset about the situation with your mom. I can't really say I know how you feel, but I just spent 2 weeks at my MIL's and I felt like I couldn't relax. Her house is fairly immaculate, so I felt stressed trying to pick up after myself and the baby. Plus, I'm sure she cares for her (only) grandson, but she's also not a baby person, so it feels like she doesn't give DS as much affection as my mom does. I hope you feel better once you're back home. When do you go back?

And thanks for the hair compliments.

 

[shaescott]

Pretty I like the blonde a lot!

Jez yikes I’m sorry things have been rough. I would definitely be offended if my mom showed such little interest in her grandchild, though especially so because she is totally obsessed with babies and kids just like I am and is waiting patiently for me to financially stable enough to give her grandkids but once I do she’s offered to watch them while I work to save on daycare and the like if I’m within 1-2 hours away. So if she went from wanting to spend a ton of time with them to not paying much attention to them, I’d be very upset.
What’s going on with your DH? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to talk about it. I really hope you guys work things out.

PL yikes I can’t believe they just let L cry for so long, and that they felt the need to reprimand him when you already did. Hopefully they do better next time.

 

[Keepsmiling91]

Hello everyone X

Sorry I’m rubbish at keeping up, but I do read up and follow you all when I get the chance! X

Can I ask a quick question please? Theo is only 4 & half months and exclusively breastfeeding, had really crampy lower back & tummy today so thought I’d just do an OPK for the sake of it, and it’s positive , does this mean I’m likely to get a period soon? Or is it just BFing messing with LH hormones? I did do one around a month ago and was negative x

 

[Keepsmiling91]

Hope you all had a lovely Christmas too! Here’s a photo of my little grandad on his first Xmas day xx

 

[pacificlove]

Keeps, bfing will mess with your cycle and period but you can still o! That's how women get pregnant too early they don't think they od because they have not got their periods back yet.

Theo is Soo handsome!!!

 

[gigglebox]

Keeps he is so cute! That opk is very positive, you may be about to ovulate. Have you and SO's relationship improved? If I were you I'd be avoiding physical contact just in case. How are you and the kids doing?

Pl wtf, people correcting others' kids is such a peeve of mine! That is, if the parent is right there and has addressed it. Poor guy was probably so confused! On that note one of my irritations with my father is he'll just plop himself on the couch and let his wife serve him and do little else. Levy was getting into presents (taking bows off them) and from his seat he does this annoying "EHHH!" sound -- it sounds like a buzzer in a game show when you get a question wrong -- "EHHH! Levvvvin, NO!" meanwhile Lev looks back at him and smiles and continues while my Dad just repeats himself and points. He's closest, I was on bedrest at the time, and in my head I'm screaming GET UP AND MOVE HIM AWAY FROM THE GIFTS! But the most his lazy ass does is lift the pointing finger so I'm off my seat to go move Lev away myself.

I have a lot of resentment towards my father's laziness evidently. Seriously, he's like a much older elderly man, being waited on and taking unplanned naps on my couch.

Jez, I hope nothing too major/unfixable with hubby. Feel free to vent if need be i have to agree the turkey does not sound worth it.

 

[Keepsmiling91]

Aw Jez just reading back on your last post I can really relate, my mother-in-law is great, but she works 40hrs + and then does stuff with her husband at the weekend so I don’t expect much but she gets the bus all the way to mine before work twice a week to take the two older girls to school for me, which is so lovely I’ve never had someone I can rely on before, but equally like u my mum is useless lol. I pop to hers once or twice a month, she doesn’t really do anything with my kids , never has them or takes them out, she does make them stuff to eat etc when I’m there but doesn’t play or am anything with them. She says she’s raised her 4 kids so she’s over it now which I do understand but it is hurtful, especially being on my own with 4 babies and registered disabled I’d like to think my mum would offer a hand time to time! By the sounds of it quite a few people’s mums are like it too! X

How old is Tilly now? Is she at nursery yet? Ella starts next week I literally want to cry! She’s too small for a uniform and to carry a little lunch bag! (Will obviously update with a photo next week!)
Photo of my dinky little Ella x

 

[Keepsmiling91]

Also would seem strange if my periods returned already with the others and BFing I didn’t get a period till they were at least a year old but that OPK was deffo positive - hoping it’s just funny hormones?

Gigs- George is still a dick as always lol, definitely no jiggy business going on here, he’s very much still in the picture we see each other everyday and he stays over but it’s more out of habit, I cannot tolerate him half the time, he’s only nice when he’s had a smoke- but he can be helpful with practical stuff (taking kids up the park etc) so I take what support he offers even if it’s on his terms . How are you feeling? Not long left at all! Last time I read you and OH were toying over boy names - have you won yet? You grew him so I think you get the last say lol x

 

[gigglebox]

Ahh look at your beautiful family! Lol I especially love Ella ready to make a run for it in the family pic

In a nut shell things are a bit crazy but good. My body tried to go into early labor last week but hospital was able to stop it. I am on lifting restrictions so my mom is staying with us to help care for Lev while hubby works. Hubby is about to start a business. The lease begins Jan 1. They (him and his coworker) are trying to fogure out how to break the news to their current employer. But it's him and two other guys and they are all very eager to start -- and already have, to a degree.

Anyway it's a crazy time and with this baby threatening to show at any time, I feel a bit like a ticking timebomb!

Otherwise Just some stomach bugs going around our family lol. But really, we are blessed and all is good right now.

 

[shaescott]

Keeps omg the pics are so cuuuute Theo is such an adorable little munchkin and Ella is so precious and the family pic was so cute agh my ovaries are screaming

Speaking of ovaries, it’s very possible you’re about to ovulate, yes. Not sure if that means your period will return though, like PL said.

 

[TexasRider]

I can’t remember who asked about distance but it’s 9 hours away. And since we are 2 hours from an airport by the time we drove to the airport and went through security etc and had a couple hours long flight you really wouldn’t save too much time... at least i don’t think so?

Anyway Tabs did settle down a few days after Christmas was over. Poor kid i guess the anticipation was too much and her anxiety got the best of her. She’s talking about wanting to go to an indoor water park for her bday and we have a great wolf losge in Dallas so we may do that: but damn it’s so expensive..... like around $600 and if my inlaws want to come which they indicated they were interested then we need a bigger suite and maybe they would pay part of it. Idk ugh but if we do go we aren’t going to tell her. Just load up in the car and drive there.

My hubs also started a new job this week. He’s back to a mechanic job with one of his friends. I think it’s going to work out but time will tell

 

[Flueky88]

Big apologies it was so hectic last week at work and DH was actually home in the evenings. I've read all, but not going to be able to comment on all.

Gigs, I'm so glad M is still cooking!! Hope he makes it a little longer/2 to 3 weeks at least.

Pacific that would piss me off. I will say my mom doesn't really try to reprimand V. She wants to coddle her during a tantrum which is a huge mistake as it reinforces that behavior.

CB I sent that recipe to you hope Hayden is well and he's letting you sleep as much as possible with a NB.

Tex poor T. I'm glad she's doing better now. That sucks about her moving so far away.

Keeps your family is gorgeous and it's okay that Ella is small for her age. It's possible you are Oing now even while BF. I seem to recall M&S got her cycles back rather quickly even with EBF.

Jez that's sad she has that relationship with her granddaughter. I hope her outlook changes. Also, I hope that you and DH can work through your marriage.

Pretty yay for BD in your fertile window. Really got my FX for ya!! I like the blonde, but I like your blue hair. I look horrid as a blonde. Made that mistake once and never again.

Sorry if I missed anyone or anything significant. Just recalling by memory of reading through the week. I think I might have a UTI. That or she's just settling lower. I'm having to pee frequently, go just a little, and sometimes feel like I still have to when I stand up. I have appt tomorrow so I'll let them know.

Christmas was fun even without visiting FIL and the rest of that side. V really loves her play broom and mop set. She really loves the most ordinary things. We go to FILs tomorrow afternoon. Looking forward to seeing them.

 

[Keepsmiling91]

Oh my goodness gigs, it’s all going on for you! Glad the hospital managed to stop it but bet that was very scary! Are you all packed and ready to go?! How are you feeling in yourself? I found the last few weeks with Theo tough when trying to take care of the kids but glad you got your mum there! Try telling a mother of small children you “cannot lift” they said this after my section, obviously within 24hrs I was back to carrying Ella up and down the stairs driving/hoovering etc! Boo to tummy bugs, nothing worse when u have small children, every pregnancy I seemed to get a sickness bug a week or two before labour x

Shae- haha thanks, she’s my little darling. How are you and the OH? Did you hve a lovely Christmas? X

Thanks Flueks, she just looks too little to be going off to nursery, I want to keep her all to myself! But I know it’ll be great for her! Wow just noticed your ticker not long left for you either! Glad you all had a lovely Xmas x

Ok— so not sure what’s going on with the ovulation thing but after yesterday’s OPK I thought I’d take another today and its no longer positive, am I right in assuming if I did infact ovulate I’ll definitely be getting a period roughly 2 weeks from now? If so im miffed - I never got a period before a year post partum before!

CB- how are you my lovely? Settling into life with a newborn? X

 

[shaescott]

Flueks I hope if it’s a UTI that it gets treated quickly!

Keeps SO and I are doing well, thank you! We didn’t see each other for Christmas but I did have a lovely Christmas with my family and he with his. I got him video games for his PC via an online platform called Steam so they delivered to his account on Christmas morning. He said I was “the best girlfriend ever” so it went well haha. We’re going to a New Year’s Eve party tomorrow night, so that’ll be fun.

 

[pacificlove]

Mil calls L "her baby", or "the baby".. 2 year old is not a baby for starters! On the other hand she showed so little interest in him over christmas. She lives so close, yet makes no attempts to see him, unless we bring him to her. She didn't even wish him a happy birthday yet complained that none of her 4 boys called her for her birthday (which is a lie, and if they didn't call they sent a text message). She hasn't called DH for his bday in years either.
On the other hand, fil lives on the other side of the country, has made every attempt to see L (he flew here 3 times this year alone!) has great interaction with him when he is here and even did facetime calls for Ls birthday and Christmas.

Jez, sorry I missed the bit with DH. I hope you can get it sorted. Honestly DH and I had a rough patch after L was born too. It took me/us a while to work through it. Feel free to pm me if you need someone to talk.