General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[gigglebox]

Lol! God bless moms but i do have to laugh I don't like my mom near me when i'm in pain, either. She gets frantic. She has that "ISN'T THERE ANYTHING YOU CAN DO TO EASE HER PAIN???!!!" attitude. It makes things tense. She gets mad for me while I am much more laid back and understanding...I recall birth for ds1, she was with me in labor (but not the OR). I was actually going through contractions and assuring HER I was ok, that I had experienced worse pain than this, etc

Ds2 I made sure hubby was the only one with me lol

 

[DobbyForever]

CB I am actually not into him physically, but I am so drawn to him as a human being. He grew up with an absentee dad, which gives me hope for A. And the way he loves Lisa and his children, gives me hope in men. And his love for his culture and the fact he has a haka just for his ohana. In another multiverse, I marry him he is my dream man

Flueks glad the meds are giving you some relief. And yeah I don’t cio 99% because of that. But I get so much poop from people for it and they are like oh what are you a child psychologist I raised _ kids. Even when I reply HIS CHILD PSYCHOLOGIST AGREES WITH ME they just roll their eyes.

Gigs it is entirely possible she is over cautious, under experienced, pushing the more financially beneficial option... it’s so hard to be in that spot. How are the contractions? Yay for having the restrictions lifted and may the bd be great next week hehe

PL hope everything ended up ok for that mom! I’d lose my poop

Afm not much to report. A is signing more and occasionally says more as well. So hopefully the words keep coming. Definitely teething so i’m curious if another tooth pops out soon.

I’m tired this up every two hours every day is like literal torture

 

[shaescott]

Gigs hm considering how new she is, I would agree that she’s being overly cautious due to inexperience. My mom always said that OB/GYNs are so easily scared into c-section when it’s not necessary, which is why she only had midwives at her births. She’s also assisted in many births (though not since choosing her specialty) so she knows how doctors can be. To be fair, my mom was a low risk birth, and you definitely want a doctor since you’re high risk if you do a VBA2C. But point is, doctors often push for c-section because it’s easier and lower risk and faster. Some will even do more c-sections on Friday’s so they can have their weekend come sooner. It’s crappy. The culture is crappy. Anyway, don’t completely discount what the doctor says but do consider the possibility of ulterior motives for pushing a c-section. I would say if you want to try for the VBA2C go for it, and take it moment by moment. If you start getting too worried or have back labor, you can tell them you changed your mind and ask the doctor to do the c-section.

Keeps I actually don’t play video games, it drives him a bit nuts cuz it’s what he loves and he wants to share it with me. They’re not really my thing, but to be fair I haven’t given them much of a chance. I just didn’t grow up playing them. I agree I’d rather have a gamer guy than a caveman especially since SO knows how to do the dishes (he’s even worked as a dishwasher) and he can make some good scrambled eggs.

Dobs that’s sweet about the guy. I’m glad A is picking up more words and signing. While I do think his behaviors indicate autism, I also think that he has a good chance of being high functioning, especially with you pushing for early intervention and with him picking up more words and signs.

PL oof sorry about your mom being more frantic than you during birth. I hope my mom isn’t like that in the future, though I doubt she will be. When I’m in pain she’s just like “eh take some ibuprofen, you’re not doubled over or crying so you’re fine”. When I was in the hospital on dilaudid she was outwardly very calm. She told me later it was horrible watching me in so much pain, and she was a bit of a wreck over it, but during it she was very calm and collected. She never called the nurse for pain meds without be asking, and she was pretty chill about waiting. I think it’s because she knows from having patients that being frantic doesn’t help at all and a calm presence is much more helpful. I’m very lucky that she’s like that.

AFM my cervix has been crazy high lately and I had spotting yesterday so I think I may have ovulated. We’ll see I suppose, depending on when I get my period.

 

[gigglebox]

Contractions were every 7-10 minutes last night but eased off by the morning. Waking up today, I'm feeling more optimistic about a TOLA2C (trial of labor after 2 cesareans). I just have to convince the next doctor. I think writing out a birth plan, including scenarios in which I would agree to a c section, is a good idea. This other doctor is also new however, and I am already fairly certain she will side with the woman I saw the other day. So I have to be prepared to stand my ground at the expense of making my birth experience awkward with the attending doctor.

Dobs that sounds like some great language progress with A! What new words is he saying now? Akso why all the wrestless sleep?

 

[pacificlove]

Shae, my mom is actually pretty calm, except that she constantly wants to be "in the know". So if i imagine that if contractions start and I don't voice it to her immediately, she asks a question and I don't answer: she'll get mad. Not something I want to deal with. With Ls delivery we didn't start telling them until early morning that we had gone to the hospital and we asked them to come up when we knew we'd be gone for more then 1 night. DH did all the communication and my phone was shut off. Lol, my parents didn't even find out about the 4am C-section until they came for their first visit. I am sure they would have loved a text message at 4 am! (Not kidding, they would have liked to know).

Gigs, I have to agree with Shae. How are your contractions? Have they calmed down again?

 

[pacificlove]

Gigs, we must have typed around the same time, lol!
Stand your ground, all they can do is advice and not force you into medical procedures.

Dobs, hurray on the new language development! Told you it would come you are doing so great

 

[shaescott]

PL ah okay gotcha. My mom would want that 4 am text too, though she’d want to be in the room with me during the labor and birth. I don’t think she’d get mad, more sad that she missed stuff. I do think I’ll have her in the room, just her and SO and medical personnel. But I have plenty of time to figure that out of course.

Gigs you can do this, def stand your ground. It’s your birth, not theirs.

 

[DobbyForever]

Lol real reply later but just to clarify I didn’t mean he is signing more. I meant he is signing the word more and probably 1 out of 5 times he signs it then he will say more at the same time.

So we are still at
Ball (consistent)
Doggie (consistent)
More (sign and verbal, becoming more consistent)
Milk (only as a sign and literally only did it once an hour ago)
Momma (only mid tantrum)
Hi (rare and only to strange but pretty women)

 

[gigglebox]

"only to strange but pretty women" hahahahah

 

[PrettyInInk42]

PL - Sorry to hear about L's eczema. My sister had it pretty bad when she was a toddler. It can be tough. As for the smoke smell, the only thing I've heard of is just painting the walls to cover the smell.

Flueky - Sorry that you're still having lady problems.

Gigs - What your Dr told you reminds me strongly of some of the stuff you see Dr's saying to their patients in "The Business Of Being Born"; scaring and guilting women to make decisions that are easier on the medical staff. Pardon my French, but fuck them. If you want a VBA2C, and are actually able to have one, go for it. Don't let yourself be intimidated.

Re: Moms in the delivery room, I don't recall my mom saying much to me about pain meds, but she was relieved when I caved and got the epi. I had 3 friggen people with me while I laboured and no one tried to talk me out of it and help me with how I wanted things to go.

Dobs - Glad to hear A is starting to communicating better. And I hear you on Jason Momoa. I would ride him through the mattress. lol

AFM, haven't DTD at all yet this year and I feel like the time between our last session and when I probably released an egg is too long for the sperm to have survived. I took a pg test today, just to see and it was a bfn. I guess I'll just keep waiting and maybe test again next week.

 

[shaescott]

Dobs oh I remember “more” being one of the very few things I signed as a kid. It’s the only one I still know how to do, that and “I love you”. But hey, what he does say is still something, and something is better than nothing.

Pretty when did you O and when did you last BD? Sperm can live up to 5 days so you might be in with a chance.

AFM I think my baby fever is increasing on me cuz I’ve found myself wanting to jump SO when I know I might be fertile/about to ovulate etc, even though I obviously have the new IUD. It’s dumb.

 

[gigglebox]

Shae, not dumb. Science! Your body naturally makes you hornier around O time. It's a biological fact! I get so insanely randy around that time on occasion that it's literally all I can think about until I get an O release, and sometimes even then it only takes the edge off. If I run errands I fantasize about people I would normally have zero interest in.

I recall one time I went to an animal feed lot to pick up duck food and, while I was waiting for the worker there to load my car, started fantasizing about boning him and a couple other workers in the warehouse on top of feed bags I couldn't help it! They were mildly attractive but more than that they were effortlessly lifting these 50lb bags...i am not necessarily attracted to muscles but men at work do it for me

Obviously I would never do anything like that! I bottle that S up and release it on hubby after the kids go to sleep hahahahha

Pretty, I appreciate your words! I never saw that one, but it doesn't surprise me. I have read a ton of vbac stories where women feel bullied and pressured beforehand. At this point I'm just hoping the dr so opposed to my wishes isn't on call when I go into labor...

Anyway I second shae, you certainly have a chance! What dpo are you?

 

[shaescott]

Gigs I feel like it’s less me actually being horny and more me straight up thinking “I want him to have sex with me so I have a chance of getting pregnant”, which is why I say it’s dumb cuz obviously I have the IUD. Like I don’t care as much about the sex, I just want the starting at like CD 8 and going through whenever I ovulate and the day after lol. It still could be the hormones making me that way, idk. It’s possible it’s just me desperately wanting to get pregnant and at the same time knowing it’s super unlikely with the IUD so it feels safe-ish to act like I’m trying by having sex around O. Idk, I’m super weird. I love your mini story about the duck feed guys lol. I totally get why the men at work would turn you on, muscles in general I like a little (not a ton of muscle though, just a bit) but seeing a guy use the muscles is like whooo baby. Not that I would ever act on it of course.

 

[PrettyInInk42]

My opks seemed the darkest on Dec 31 and Jan 1 and the last time we BD'd was the night of the 26th, going into the 27th. I know there's a chance, I'm just not feeling that hopeful. I'd feel better if we'd done it closer to the date. So, potentially 5 or 6dpo?

shae - Maybe it's hormones, or maybe it's your baby fever. Either way, women can still get pg using the IUD. It happened to SO's cousin. lol

 

[shaescott]

Pretty hm so slim chance though still possible for you. I know it’s always possible to get pregnant with the IUD (or any birth control) but since I was on the mirena for 5 years with no pregnancy I’m pretty sure I won’t get pregnant. We’ll see though I suppose, since this IUD is lower dose.

 

[pacificlove]

Pretty, I hope you get some soon sorry about possibly missing o..

Gigs, where are you today? I feel like if I don't hear from you, that you may be in labor!
Did you get your couch yet?? I can't wait for ours like a kid before Christmas...maybe worse

Shae: i agree, around o-day I feel like jumping DH more so then any other day, more fantasy, more baby fever. Lol

Afm: saw my mw today, we were talking at the appointment this week and mentioned that now we only had to figure out our sheep. As in they need a place to stay here as their welcome at their current place is probably running out soon. So she mentioned she and her hubby have about an acre of unused land in the back, they eventually want to use it, but it needs clearing. So mutually beneficial situation! Her DH grows flowers and buys sheep manure each year now he can have his own source. We went by her property today, had a good long chat and came up with a plan for fences. I am happy! They can stay there until we buy.

 

[Flueky88]

Gigs I'm sorry you are having trouble making this decision. With her just starting in April I'd agree with your mom that she's extra cautious and/or wants to be in as much control as possible during labor and delivery. I also don't like how she's bitter about that successful vba2c. She should be happy that mom was able to accomplish this. Oh and reading a later posting I think having a birth plan is a good idea as well as TOL. Hope you get the birth you want. Oh and also wondering if something has happened or you just been busy.

Jez thank you, I hadn't had one since I was pregnant with V. It's not been horrible because my symptoms would come and go. However when symptoms were there OMG. Midwife said most women in 3rd tri are asymptomaticwith UTI.

Pacific I also don't want my mom there. She'd get too upset seeing me in pain and maybe pass out. I don't need that.

Dobby I totally get it. Each child is unique and same methods won't work or be appropriate for all. When V was 6 weeks step MIL wanted me to let V cry instead of holding her when she needed it. It was awful. They need to be held/comforted at that age. I bought the baby ktan because of you and it was a life saver.

Ugh hope his tooth comes in soon. Sleep regression is rough!! Also, yay for speaking a bit more.

Pretty so sorry it's looking like timing was only 5ish days before O. It's definitely still possible, but feel it's less likely.

Did they know you wanted them to help talk you out of epi?? I was very open minded about my labor and delivery. It's hard to see someone you love in intense pain and feel helpless. Seeing DH with his kidney stone blocking his ureter was awful. He was diaphoretic, vomiting, moaning, irregular breathing, and very high blood pressure. I felt so helpless not being able to relieve his pain.

Shae it's totally normal to feel that way especially if you have any baby fever. Baby fever can make a person a bit irrational. I'm so glad it didn't hit me until later.

AFM had a fun but busy weekend with DH. UTI symptoms are gone completely. Finish my antibiotics Thursday morning though.

 

[gigglebox]

Awww you ladies are so sweet I'm good! Not much going on here. Contractions still come and go (last "episode" was last night at about 7-10 minutes) but they're mostly sporadic. I took the meds once yesterday but generally try not to take tem as part of me is hoping that the contractions are actually dilating me somewhat...I am going to be so happy if I get into active labor and am already 4+ dilated, especially if Myles prsents properly (ie I am NOT in back labor!). We'll see...all restrictions fully lift on Thursday! I am thrilled it looks like I'll be having a term baby. And if I go into labor before then, it's as close to term as I could hope for given the circumstances.

Pl yay for a temp home for the sheep! That's awesome news. So what will you be doing for the fence? Poultry net? And how is L doing? I forgot to mention we're batting a horribly nasty diaper rash on poor Lev. It's finally getting better though -- he had a stomach bug and diarrhea for days and it wrecked his poor under carriage. It's so hard to see the kiddos miserable!

Fluek what good news to hear you aren't suffering from the UTI anymore. I've never had one but I imagine they're miserable, especially pregnant.

I do wonder how I'd be in an emergency situation with hubby, or him in the hospital, etc. So far it's always been me in the hospital bed! I bet it's much easier to be in the bed than standing over it, especially when it comes to a loved one. I've seen both brothers in the hospital, and grandparents, but that's it. I try not to think about that too hard though...I feel like I'm overdue for such an experience and I get anxious if I think about it too much!

 

[PrettyInInk42]

Just a quick reply while I'm on break.

So, SO decided he wanted to mess around a little last night, but I was both tired and a little pissed about missing my fertile window, so I just let him go down on me and then we fell asleep.

As for the epi thing, SO, my mom, and my friend all knew I wanted to go natural. My mom didn't wanna see me in pain, when I told SO I should probably get the epi cuz I was about to get pitocin all he said was "are you sure?" and then didn't try to talk me out of it, and my friend was pretty quiet. She's since apologized and said she should have talked to me and advocated better .

 

[gigglebox]

Awww pretty, don't hold it over his head too much. At least he kind of paid you back with that downtown action

Well that's frustrating that no one stood up for you but I've learned that ultimately, when it comes to anything medical, you absolutely have to be your own advocate. The choice is ultimately yours and yours alone, save being unconscious or mentally checked out.

On that note, hubby is totally on my side with the TOLAC so i think I'm going to go for it. If it doesn't work, the ramifications may be bad, but if it does, it will be soooo good all around. Furthermore c sections have a lot of risk factors themselves so a planned one still doesn't ensure my or baby's safety.

Now just to convince the dr I see on Friday...