General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[claireybell]

Thankyou Kitty She spied it up on the kitchen side this morning lol & went all high pitched & screachey

 

[Jezika]

Wow that’s amazing CB! How did you lay the purple icing so nicely?! A

 

[shaescott]

PL aw that’s so sweet about the midwife! It totally makes sense. Babies are adorable, but seeing two people’s lives change forever is a powerful thing (I say that having never witnessed a birth lol, closest thing was I came into the room seconds after my sister was born). Makes sense that you’re ready to settle down and stop moving from place to place. Nothing wrong with moving around a lot, of course. I think it’s common to move around for a few years before picking a “forever home”, and some people just keep moving due to jobs.

CB wow you did amazing with that cake! There’s no way I’d be able to do half that well! Happy birthday to Nuala!

 

[claireybell]

It wasn’t too hard to do tbh, use lots of icing sugar so the fondant doesn’t stick to the worktop & then carefully lift & lay over the cake or you can roll it around the rolling pin & then lay over the cake i bought the Peppa Pig head cutter & had some star cutters, me & SO did the legs & other bits, just takes abit longer than you initially think .. tastes yum though, its packed with vanilla buttercream hahaa very sweet!

 

[PrettyInInk42]

CB - Good job on the cake.

Flueky - Hope your lactation appt went well. Sorry to hear that you've been so stressed. And hard to believe it's been 5 months already.

Wookie - Congrats on your weight loss.

shae - It kinda blows my mind when people say they haven't held new babies, but I guess it all depends on how often there's a new baby in the family. I know I was holding my sister when I was 5 and she was 5 days old, at least. I'm sure you'll do fine though.

Happy Birthday to all the LOs who've recently leveled up. lol

Sorry this post is kinda garbage. I haven't really been keeping up to date since the BnB problem was fixed. And I'm pretty tried right now, but anyway...

AFM, still waiting to get SO's notices of assessment back from the government, so house hunting is still kind of on hold. I've packed several boxes with his old clothing/stuff he hopes to be able to shrink back into. As well as several mugs and glasses, but we're still using everything else. And he's been super helpful as always by watching downloaded shows and playing Minesweeper on the computer as soon as he gets home.
As for work, it's still stupid hot, but we're more than 1/3 of the way through August, so hopefully not much longer til it cools down. The bosses are on vacay, so no update on the vacation pay I'm owed yet. And my friend/manager has decided to quit. His last day is August 23 and I dunno what I'm gonna do for the next several weeks without him. I'm also currently doing less strenuous stuff, but we'll see home long that lasts.
I had a MW appt today. She said everything looks and sounds good and he may already be head down. Hopefully my 4D scan this weekend can confirm that. Feeling lots of movements and names were brought up again when we visited MIL and her husband this weekend. He still wants Ben, I still want Matthew, and he made a comment that was along the lines of "Well, it's gonna be Matthew, cuz I don't think she'll budge on that." On one hand, I'd like him to feel like he has a proper say, but I'm also carrying this baby and I do a ton of stuff that totally goes unacknowledged or unappreciated, so why shouldn't I get what I want?

 

[claireybell]

Don’t budge on the name thing, maybe have Ben as a middle name? Or Could always say as im the main person to register the babies birth (being the birth mother) i can name him what i want lol! Honestly though maybe if your both deadset on these names, you maybe need to think of another first name you both like & have Ben & Matthew as middle names?


Eeee hope you enjoy your 4D scan, show some piccies if you can

 

[DobbyForever]

I’m torn on the name thing.

On the one hand, I wish I didn’t give up so much for naming A. I’m glad I held fast to the middle name, but I really am not fond of Aiden (esp with it being chosen as an A name to connect him to his pos “family”) or the legal battles with changing his last name.

On the other, I can’t recall but didn’t SO not get a say with DS1? I remember names being a bit of a conversation last time as well. If so, I think it’s only fair to hear him out. And depending on how he sounded when he made that comment, I’d be concerned that he feels left out or resentful. You don’t want a partner to just go through the motions. You want him to be invested, and maybe naming could do that?

But yeah idk basically lol cuz I see it both ways? And as I tell all my friends when I give advice, my life is pretty f*ed up so maybe you don’t want to listen to me

 

[shaescott]

Pretty I did hold my sister when she was a baby when I was a kid, but I only ever held her while sitting in a rocking chair with a boppy on my lap. I never picked her up, carried her, or held her while standing. I’ve held older babies, ones that you
Sorry SO hasn’t been super helpful and your friend is quitting. Glad baby looks healthy and all is well in that respect.
I would agree that you have the final say on the name. You’re the one carrying him and pushing him out. At the same time, compromise is important. SO absolutely insists that we name our first daughter Ellie and I told him he can have it as a nickname but I get to pick the formal first name 100% because he doesn’t get to make demands like that without some form of compromise. Currently thinking about Elena or Elora but idk, I’m not pregnant so

 

[PrettyInInk42]

Cb - I'll share pics for sure.

Dobby - SO totally vetoed Jared as a first middle name. He said Alex could be ok with a decent middle name. His main issue was he had a manager at work that he didn't like named Alec, but he's been working on a different team for quite a while and doesn't have to deal with that guy anymore.
When he made the comment, I did pick up a kind of joking vibe, but there's still time to discuss it. As it stands right now, I'm kinda leaning towards going with the name I want. SO can barely remember any of his suggestions from last time (like Liam) and I've been set on Matthew since before Alex was conceived. And set on Alex before I even met SO. Plus, when I hear Ben, I think Gentle Ben, Benji, Benjamin Button, Benny Hill, Benji Madden from Good Charlotte, the characters Ben from Stepmom and Disney's Descendants and the newer Star Wars movies, etc, none of which make me like the name at all.

Here's part of something I posted in the baby names page...

"My #1 choice this time around is Matthew and SO seems drawn to Ben. He says Matthew isn't bad and Ben is growing on me a little, but we still have our favs. The first middle name will be Werner, after my late father, but we also need to decide on a 2nd middle name. Names I've though of are...

Christopher - SO's first middle name
Sceviour - SO's late paternal grandpa's middle name (see-vee-or)
Thomas - SO's late maternal uncle
Denman - SO's second middle name/mother's maiden name

So, these are our options presently.

Matthew Werner Christopher *****
Matthew Werner Sceviour *****
Matthew Werner Thomas *****
Matthew Werner Denman *****

Benjamin Werner Christopher *****
Benjamin Werner Sceviour *****
Benjamin Werner Thomas *****
Benjamin Werner Denman *****"

Thoughts?

 

[DobbyForever]

My only thought is you never regret a name that bears significance so whether it’s Ben or Matthew then you’ll never regret it whether it was your or so’s or a mutual decusion

 

[shaescott]

Pretty I like Thomas and Sceviour best of the second middle names. I do prefer Benjamin Werner over Matthew Werner, but I still like both of them. I’m probably just biased because Benjamin is a family name for me and it’s definitely on my list. Either first name would sound good, in my opinion.

 

[Flueky88]

CB thank you. It is tough. In some ways, I'm glad I wasn't dealing with that stress with V. Oh and I'd say it's worth calling the gyn and leaving a message for them. I'm definitely in the "I'm not getting fixed" camp.

Your cake looks amazing. You may say it's easy but I really stink at stuff like that. I want to make a sweet treat this weekend now

Pacific I agree that our next home will be a forever home. We want something one level for when we are old and possibly disabled. Wide doors, etc. Working in home care you see some of the challenges home environments can bring to safety issues.

Shae reflecting on holding newborns. I think my first was my younger nephew. I was always nervous around babies. My first birth I watched was in nursing school. Gah, it was traumatic as baby was blue and not crying. Thankfully, the team was able to resuscitate baby. My other one I saw in school wasn't much better. I feel very blessed to have had nearly textbook deliveries.

Pretty sorry for all the stress in your life right now. I'm happy that baby looking good though! I'm also torn on the name thing. I can see both perspectives. I like Benjamin more but with middle name i like Matthew Werner Thomas. If unable to choose one of those, maybe a different name that you both like. Also, just curious, i it a cultural thing to have 2 middle names or personal? No judging just curious.

AFM ugh started feeling really down even when home with my family. I know it's depression and I think ppd. I reached out to gyn who prescribed me an antidepressant. I have good and bad days but hope for less bad days. I opened up to my parents which was really hard but I wanted to. Dad was really concerned as he lost his son and father to suicide/depression. I assured him I'm seeking help though.

Lactation consultant went okay. S has a tongue and lip tie. She has compensated for it so that's how she has gained average gain per month for bf baby. I was doing everything pump wise basically she recommended other than try to pump at 8 or 830 instead of 9 or 930. Have appt with pediatric dentist Monday about ties nd they can do procedure same day. I plan to as tongue tie could effect her speech, licking ice cream cone, etc.

DH is working 12 hours so I have the whole bathe, feed, and put to bed routine alone. It is challenging with them so young and V sometimes is loud while S is trying to fall asleep. I will endure though.

 

[pacificlove]

Flueky, I hear you on the stairs! We do like a traditional home, main living on the main floor and bedrooms up top. My grandparents lived in a third floor apartment with tight hallways and doors to each room until their 90s. They were incredibly independent in that way but it sure was hard in the end but managed with help.

Shae, I held my first newborn 8 years ago when dhs friends from school had their first baby. My friends weren't having babies yet, I don't have younger siblings or cousins and in general just wasn't around very many babies.... Then I had a huge gap of baby holding again until we had our own!
If my brother has children I can see it taking a few more years. Dhs youngest brother is expecting in October, then another is getting married next May and they are talking babies shortly after. We were the firsts: first to marry, first with kids, first to be done with having more kids.

 

[shaescott]

Flueks omg that’s so scary for the first birth you see to be a traumatic one. We’ve been told to expect to see one labor/birth, and considering how little control there is over how long it takes, we might only get to see the labor. The rest of our rotation (all other weeks) is mother-baby, the maternity ward. As it was once described to me, it’s the happy pink babies.
Sorry about S’s tongue tie but glad it’s an easy fix and it hasn’t been affecting her weight gain. I’m glad you’re getting help for PPD, sending love

PL sounds like you’ll have lots of baby nieces and nephews to play with soon enough without the stress of having them 24/7. Sounds lovely! I’m the older sibling and so is SO, so we’re going to be the first in both families to get married and have kids (unless some unplanned pregnancies occur, because SO’s brother doesn’t want kids and my sister wants to go to medical school).

 

[pacificlove]

Shae, if I had a glass to look into the future with I'd probably see 3-5 nieces/nephews in 5 years from now.
I can totally see our boys being seen as the "babysitters" during family functions and our boys being a role model that the younger ones adore and just copy and run after. Seeing how good L is with his younger brother, I think he'll like it .lol

One of the things I am super excited about is the start of traditions. Chances are we won't all be able to get together for Christmas, so we started talking about spending a week at a lake each summer, whole family sort of thing.

 

[pacificlove]

Pretty,sorry not ignoring your name decision! DH and I are horrible at naming, so definitely don't listen to me.
DH knew the gender for ds2, I did not. So I said he'd have to come up with the name since he'd have months to think about it. Turns out he actually had a name, but after baby came out he said it no longer seemed to fit and almost didn't tell me the name he thought would work.
Sometimes you have to look at the baby in front of you to see if the name fits.

 

[shaescott]

PL family traditions are the best. I can’t wait to start those with my future family. When I was a kid, my mom’s side of the family met every summer at my grandparent’s house to bring the kids to Santa’s Village (in NH). I’m also really excited for immediate family traditions. When I was a kid we had the Christmas pickle hidden in the tree, we had a paper link countdown to Christmas (and advent calendars), we always read a funny book called “the night before the night before Christmas” on Christmas Eve Eve, etc. We also always drank tea and/or hot cocoa during thunderstorms. I want to build on those and add more family traditions, like baking apple pie on the first day of fall, popsicles/ice pops on the first day of summer, etc.

 

[gigglebox]

Fluek , awww biggest hugs to you I'm so sorr you're battling ppd. I hope the script works.

Pl don't leave us hanging, what was the original name of ds2? Funny story, if my bestie hadn't already named her dog Logan, there is a good chance Ds1 would have had that name. I still love it.

Shae I love traditions too, especially xmas ones. Broke my heart the first year EVER we had xmas here instead of my folks house. I also still get selfishly annoyed when my inlaws cone over xmas morning.
I have established a couple family traditions. 1, i put balloons in the kids room the night before their bdays before they wake up, 1 for each year. I've just started one last year where the kids get new xmas pj's the night we trim the tree. They are required by mom law to also wear them xmas eve.

Pretty my vote is benjamin werner thomas.

Hi everyone. Miss you all. To say I've been busy is an understatement. Currntly dealing with a sick baby (cold) and WOW i underestimated just how much worse sleep could get. I'm actually tying to put him to bed right now and he will not stop wining/crying. Last night he was up from 12 to 1:30am before i finally just brought him into bed. I haven't needed to do that in awhile. I think he's close to a milestone (crawling), plus upper teeth, plus this cold...perfect shitstorm. Hubs joked about having number 4 and I had the fear LOL

 

[gigglebox]

Cb I am having the same issue with periods. My spotting seems to be drawn out and runs right into my ovulation sometimes, or at least the start of it. Very annoying! Also your cake was super amazing and i wonder did it taste as good as it looked?

 

[gigglebox]

Pl do you think you'll be seeing more of your folks when you're no longer on the island? How is everything going with your plans toward moving? How are the sheep doing?