General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[pacificlove]

Shae, fx your fish pulls through. Honestly those fish forums would have scolded you for anything smaller then a 25g fish tank with a $200; filtration system...ok, maybe slightly exaggerated!

Dobs, wow you've been busy and yeah scary about those yellow jackets! We've got a ton of confused wasps here at the moment. Scary for Logan who likes to pretend to be a lawnmower that hits a rock regularly, so he has to take off his blades aka shoes to get fixed. Those dang wasps are constantly in the grass, and no they aren't even ground wasps!

Flueky, I am sorry I didn't realize she had all these ties but hopefully you both can have a much easier time now.
I was suspecting that E might have a tongue tie, however my friend and mw said that they deal with them very conservatively here, a lot of wait and see! We have introduced solids and I see his tongue moving in more ways now then before, so the worry is somewhat eased.

As for us, I really thought E would be crawling by now, however he is content being mobile in his own way. He is using his arms and legs to pull himself forward over his belly while his feet/toes push. Scoots everywhere now when he gets determined to get to certain items/toys that he sees of Ls.

 

[shaescott]

Dobs that’s so scary about the yellowjackets, I HATE them ugh, when I was a kid I accidentally stepped on a nest, my cousins and I all had them stinging us and clinging to our shirts, we all had to strip and walk around my aunt’s house without shirts on, except I was the only girl cousin and I didn’t want to, so my aunt got me one of her big shirts for me to wear around. Fun.
Good luck with the mandatory training!

PL yeah I have a 3 gallon tank and they told me I need a minimum 5, preferably 10. That’s nice, but I used to have a 1 gallon tank so my fish is probably pretty happy with the newer accommodations. I just don’t have the room for a bigger tank. I didn’t tell them how much I spent on my filter, I don’t think they care as long as I have a filter tbh, but it was like $15 from petco, I installed it yesterday. They’ve been a bit scold-y but it could’ve been worse I suppose. The fact that I’m mostly following their directions probably helps haha, I got the master liquid test kit they told me to get ($35 ugh) and ordered antibiotics online, I got the filter and installed it, etc.
Sorry about no crawling but he seems to be getting around pretty well anyway. He’ll probably crawl soon, either that or he’ll just skip it, some kids do I think.

Benji update: his tail looks no better (honestly maybe worse), BUT his behavior is way better! I haven’t seen him at the bottom of the tank all day! He’s been up at the top swimming slowly around, not zoomy or anything but not sitting anymore. So that gives me hope. Antibiotics arrive tomorrow.

 

[claireybell]

Kitty has your temp stayed up?

Ah Shae, big hugs re your Fish, is it definitely fin rot? No other fishies in the tank having a nibble? Thats common.. i hope the AntiB’s work though, are they just dropped into the water?

Pacific ive not measured Nuala but shes pretty diddy, i dont think she’ll be tall like her Dad, maybe a lil 5ft 6/7 like me

Flueks bless Serena, I’ve def heard of tongue & lip tie but not cheek tie, poor lil thing, Glad shes trying at bf’ing still though & your ppd seems to be easing Its reeeally hot again here atm, not good at nights esp for Hayden!

9 days encounting until school woop!!!! Never thought id see the end of the 6wks hols Lol!

 

[kittykat7210]

Barely staying above coverline spotted abit today but it appears to have stopped, but the last few cycles my spotting has turned into AF so we will see!

 

[shaescott]

CB no other fish in the tank, just him. Not sure what else it would be other than a physical injury, and I posted pictures on the forums and they said it was fin rot, not an injury. I think the antibiotics are powder that’s dropped into the water, though not 100% certain.
It’s still crazy to me that you only get 6 weeks summer vacation, it’s 2 months during grade school here (school starts end of August, ends end of June) and 4 months during college (school starts beginning of September, ends beginning of May). Anyway I bet you’re excited to get a little break. Idk how homeschooler moms do it, I’d go nuts!

Kitty the temps seem pretty stable though, ignoring the cover line it looks good. Fx’d the spotting was early implantation?

 

[pacificlove]

Shae, I remember"only" having 6 weeks of summer break growing up in Germany. Instead we do get more breaks throughout the year. Almost seemed like we had a 2 week vacation every other month.
How is Benji, give his tail some time to heal, sounds like he is on the mend though.

Cb, 10 more days! Our kids go back next Tuesday. I am surprised that in some states the kids have already been back for 2 weeks which to me seems like the middle of summer. (Our kids get sent home if temperature in the shade reaches 27c, not that that happens often!)

 

[Jezika]

Yeah what’s up with some kids already being back? Even beginning of Sep feels too early. From memory, in the uk we also had several half terms that were two weeks off each?

Shae I hope Benji gets better soon. I remember having a couple of goldfish in a small tank when I was 18/19, and then somehow within a year I had a 50g tank, a tonne of fish and equipment, as well as ridiculous amounts of acquired knowledge about fish illness. I think at one point I even removed a parasite from a fish’s back with tweezers. Anyway, I loved those guys. Some names were Tango, Jayson, Pharrell (I was into NERD at the time), Calvin... and I forget the rest, not that anyone cares. They were a lot of upkeep in the end though so I ended up giving them away when I moved to London.

Gigs I hope M is over his cold now and things have improved on the sleep front.

Flueks glad you’re feeling better and S’s lip ties are sorted. I didn’t know Tilly had a slight lip tie till her first dental visit a month or two ago, shrug.

Dobs I’m looking forward to seeing your room. I bet it makes a huge difference to the kids.

CB I’m kinda jealous of your heat wave. It’s been 20-23 here the last few days with no signs of getting hotter. It’s okay but it means we can’t wear cute summer clothes or use the splash pads.

Pretty I do think Alexander looks like the new little guy in the scans! They’re some of the best 4D scans I’ve seen. They look like what babies look like when they’re a bit older and lose the baby fat around their faces. I wonder if older babies do resemble their 4D scans for that reason. Also, I thought of you yesterday or the day before when I saw someone in a local park with pink hair and a son called Alexander. Was actually wondering if it could be you but I was already seeming creepy from staring.

AFM my past week and a half has been completely consumed with potty training. We decided to use the Oh Crap! Potty Training book method and started the weekend before last. I was really anxious about it even before starting, for some reason, and it did not disappoint. I spent at least two days crying once we were four days in. She actually has done really well - practically no accidents - but she was holding her pee and poo for frickin EVER and it made me so scared of her getting a UTI (it was traumatizing when she had one at 5 months) and complications associated with constipation. Prompting her would usually just make her even more resistant and backing off just called her bluff and she’d happily hold. She’s been dry overnight since before age 2, which is great coz there’s no need to night train or use diapers at night, but she spent two days last week holding it overnight and then all the way up until we got to daycare in the morning and then needing to be coerced into peeing. One day she tantrumed HARD when a staff member was encouraging me to be firm with getting her to pee there before leaving (she hadn’t peed for 8 hours during the day). I was mortified. And with poop she was literally crying and writhing in agony from holding it despite needing to go. The moment I offered her a diaper the second time that happened, she immediately pooped in it. So we give her a diaper now if she needs to poop, which is once per evening so I’m fine with that. She will learn eventually and we can try to get her constipation in check in the meantime (why is it so hard? Pun unintended and only noticed upon proofreading). Past four days have been great though; she self initiates pees, responds to prompts and had no problem peeing in public washrooms or in the travel potty when out at parks. I’m so proud of her. She did try pooping on the toilet today but also seemed to be holding it back again, even when I offered her a diaper. I could tell she was in discomfort but still no poop. Still, hopefully we’ll get there in the end.

 

[DobbyForever]

So I have a lot left but I’m at a point I think the kids will be happy

 

[DobbyForever]

So tired now lol but I just want them to be happy

 

[PrettyInInk42]

Flueky - Glad to hear S's procedure went well and that you're feeling better mentally. And good for you for keeping with the BFing so far. I can't even imagine how hard it must be to be a working/BF-ing mother of 2 young ones. Kudos to you for doing your best and I hope you get some proper rest soon.

shae - Hope your fish is doing better and it's fin rot clears up quickly.

Jez - No pink hair right now, just bright red. lol. I think I'll tranition back to pink in the new year though. And I don't think we've been to a TO park since he's been born. And I also just bought the same potty training book. I've barely cracked it, but I think I might try having him go diaper-less this Saturday.

Dobby - Your room looks great.
Re: summer break. Ours starts at the end of June and the first day back at school is the Tuesday after Labour Day. I believe it's like that for the whole country. It so weird to me that different states have different start dates for school.

AFM, the baby is still being super active. SO has finally taken a few opportunities to feel my stomach and he's gotten to feel some good kicks. Can't remember if I mentioned it before, but the 4D scan tech said he was already head down and the MW seemed to confirm that on Monday, so that's a bit of a relief. No more name discussion, but I'm in no rush to bring it up again.
In terms of work, my manager/friend/work husband is now gone and I am literally counting down the days and hours til I start mat leave (36/288). And my boss has said the owed vacation pay situation will be rectified soon.
In terms of house hunting, SO is still waiting on his notices of assessment for '17 and '18 and he's getting '14, '15, and '16 resubmitted. He says he wants to wait til he knows for sure if he owes the government anything and go see the broker once any owed money is paid. So, with 54 days to go, there's no way we're getting a place before I deliver.
And in regards to baby #3, SO actually brought it up twice over the weekend. When we went out to dinner on Friday, I noticed a family that had 3 boys, all within a couple years of each other and he said "well, if you insist on having 3, that could happen." And then the next day, he said "I don't really want a 3rd, but if we did have one, it better be a girl." I realize that sounds less than positive, or even a little harsh, but to me, it means he's open to the possibility. Once the new LO is at least a few months old and we're fairly settled at our new place, maybe I'll bring up my plan for a spring '22 baby and see what he thinks.

Here's are a couple fleecy sleepers I bought recently and my bump once I move my fat out of the way. lol

 

[claireybell]

Pretty aww cute baby rompers, your Bump is coming along lovely Glad baby is loads active, does he seem to have a routine going on with it? Re third & better be a girl lol! Could actively try for girl methods if so

Dobby your classroom looks lovely hun! Has school started yet or due to anytime now?

We get 6 wks off in the Summer, 3 x 1 wk each term for half term & two wks off at Christmas & easter so thats 13 wks total in the school year, I’m glad the summer isn’t any longer, Rileys been awful this year! Attitude & probs part boredom, i feel kids today have less freedom to go out to play like we did have kids but its just not as safe as it was back in the 80’s - early 90’s..

Kitty, i agree with She, ignore the cover line as you can def see the temp shift, my chart when pg with Riley looked very similar, my temp shift wasn’t really that big & i started spotting at 5dpo with him fx hun eeeep!

Oh Kitty just looking at your Evie Ticker, im guessing its her Birthday today?! big happy birthday to her, Hope she has a lovely day & enjoys/enjoyed her Unicorn party

Jez lol @ our ‘Pretty’ lookalike & i would totally be the same haha! I always wonder about people we chat to online & wonder if we pass them on the street esp when their in the same country

Jez re Tilly constipated have u tried Lactulose? Ive had to start giving a lil bit to Nuala every other day, just a lil 5ml amt to soften her poop so she goes more regular & doesn’t strain when going, it had been 8 days last time before eventually going, she doesn’t seem in pain but it must be uncomfy for them! Bonus on the potty training in general though, she is only 2.5yrs aswell, does the book have methods to try when they refuse blankly to use potty etc? Im DREADING it with Nuala With Riley the daycare actually was great for encouraging Riley as he saw his lil friends using pottys & the toilet & so he wanted to copy them..

Shae i hope those AntiB’s work on your Fishy

Afm, not alot going on, i had a dream last night with Ryan Reynolds in it lol! Probs as i watched Deadpool the other night (not the first time) & now i love him hahaha!

Temps have cooled slightly now, back down to 21/22degrees so still warm but the last 4/5 days its been in the 25-28degrees melting as its sticky sweaty hot & to top it off i been on my period so slightly hotter anyway urhh!

 

[claireybell]

Happy Birthday Jez

 

[pacificlove]

Dobs, wow that's a wonderful classroom, lucky kids!

Jez, sorry about the stress with potty training. I think some throwbacks are normal and even the holding it in on pressure. Logan a few times has sent us out of the bathroom to poop, did not want us watching him poop.
We had no shame in using a candy to encourage the use of our bathroom with a candy, 2 for pooping. He did try to get candies for a few drops, but have since eliminated those.
No candies for peeing anywhere else, such as pee in the ditch when we are in the garden. I think we are completely accident free for a few weeks now. He's even used public washrooms although those he often takes 2 attempts if we haven't been in it before.
At the moment he only gets the candies when he remembers and also no candies when he uses the "I have to pee" as an excuse to come out of bed at sleep times. Haha usually something small like a skiddle or a gummy bear, however he's been consistent enough that we could probably phase them out completely.
Pull ups, only over night, he refuses them for his naps and has been remaining dry.

A few nights ago, he called for one of us. When I got up (midnight none the less!) I saw the light on in his room. Upon entering his room, I could not see him but heard him! So backtracked my steps to the bathroom and there he was, had a pee and could not get his pants over his bum. Thankfully he fell right back asleep when I tucked him in and turned the light off. So that one was a first.

 

[Jezika]

PL haha I love how sneaky L was with pee treats. Tilly would definitely do that. She’d have us wrapped around her little finger. We did tell her a long time ago that if she pooped in the potty we’d get her a chocolate cake, and of course she conjured up that memory the one time she pooped in the potty, so we had to oblige.

Dobs the room looks great! I can tell that must’ve taken a tonne of time. I wonder how the other staff members who don’t have keys yet can possibly top that.

Pink can’t believe you have just a month and a half left! That’ll fly by I’m sure. Are you ready? I’m glad SO appears open to a third.

CB awwww thanks for the bday wishes. Had quite a chill day... forced hubby to take the day off while Tilly’s in daycare coz all my besties are away. I’ll check out the lactulose! I also bought some coconut butter and coconut milk coz they’re meant to help, but I don’t know what to do with them. As for potty training a kid who refuses to use the potty, well, Tilly was that kid. I couldn’t get her to even sit on one for love nor money. With the method we followed, I told her ahead of time that the diapers will go away soon, then told her closer to the time when that would be (the weekend... in a few days... tomorrow etc.) and just talked excitedly but casually/succinctly about how I will be teaching her how to use the toilet/potty. When the day came she understood she wouldn’t be having any more diapers and then we kept her naked (actually just naked on bottom) and spent the whole day one-on-one doing fun things and keeping a really close eye on her and telling her she has to tell me when she feels her pee is coming. She would start doing a tiny bit and then stop it and tell me, and I’d be excited but cool and just gently but speedily pick her up and sit her on the potty and she miraculously would finish her pee in there. Then I’d act all proud and she’d proudly wipe with a tissue. I never in a million years thought she would let me even put her on the potty. That first day was a great success, but while the rest of the week was a rollercoaster, I’m sure you don’t need a full summary. Basically the key with a resistant child is to not pressure them and to walk away mentally the second you see resistance, and truly be okay with doing so. They can sense if you really want them to go or are annoyed if they don’t. Also, if there are two things I’ve learned about potty training from my own experiences and from wasting an unbelievable amount of time last week poring over potty training Facebook groups, it’s that three days of potty training legit feels like six months and can easily break a person, and that every single kid is so damn different. Seriously. I am convinced that there is no one trick to potty training, and that sometimes it’s best to go with your gut than follow a specific method rigidly. And I also think it’s okay to just wait till they’re ready. Many people will crucify you for saying that, and I’m sure there are lots of kids out there who are still resistant to getting out of diapers or pull-ups by age 4/5, but I’ve learned that actually most kids will take an interest and pick it up super quickly and with minimal hassle sometime before they reach age 4. Half the reason I was so upset by the whole thing is because I’d read articles that claimed it’s IMPOSSIBLE to potty train after age 3, and then read articles that claimed it’s actually really unhealthy and potentially damaging to potty train BEFORE age 3. Just soooo confusing. At the point where I was legit accessing the full papers of studies, I was already putting waaay too much energy and emotion into it. No wonder I was losing the plot and no wonder Tilly was holding so much; she was probably freaked out about why I was suddenly turning into a highly strung weirdo every time she released some bodily fluids and why I wouldn’t stop talking about it.

 

[claireybell]

Jez i think your doing great with it! I can imagine it is stressfull for us mums when a child is reluctant to want to try anything new, i say stressfull for us Mums as most of the time it is the Mums at home that are doing it although there are some Dads out there doing it aswell.. most things ive read is the ‘average best age’ to do it is 3yrs+ but sometimes they are ready before that. I found that ‘oh crap’ book on Ebay so i may purchase, always good for a fee pointers & methods etc ah glad you had a chilled day with hubs, I remembered it was yours as u share the same day as my bestie Oh Lactulose is completely safe for babies aswell, its like a liquid sugar, draws water into the bowel & keeps the poop really soft so it encourages movement Tried & tested by me also lol

 

[pacificlove]

Jez, it sounds like you have realized the stress this potentially put on both of you, that is a great revelation to come to. Kids, just like our animals, can feel the stress and try to avoid the situation that they felt like creates the stress.
Btw: Logan refuses to use the toilet with the special seat cover I bought for him. He prefers to hold himself up while pooping. There are $20 wasted....

Even with the "i get a candy after 2 drops of pee" we gave him a candy for about 3 days, because yes technically he peed. Then we said "wait where? I can't see it!" So he quickly went back to doing bigger pees. Haha

I had no idea about those papers of potty training being a success before or after 3. I did attempt to get a few ideas from the internet, but in the end just used my instincts and gut feeling. Like anything you the read on the internet it can be a bit much to say the least....

 

[Flueky88]

Shae I hope benji is doing better. I was never good with fish. I hate messing with that nasty water, bleh. I did have a couple of betas abd I enjoyed seeing them. Then one managed to get out of the tank on halloween..... I decided I was done.

Dobby for real being a mom is so hard sometimes especially with some of tge expectations of society. Learning to accept you are doing all you can do is a difficult pill to swallow.

Oh wow! That's great he was able to sleep on his own. Are you sleeping better? Also yellow jackets are mean SOBs. So glad he wasn't stung.

I think your room lools great I really like the colored bins by the sink.

Pacific even though she had compensated and I wasn't experiencing pain any longer I wanted to try to prevent other issues. A coworker had a released at 14 and he said it was hell. However if it's minor then I can undestand why you would wait. No baby or situation are the same

S will lean forward while on her hands and knees then drop diwn, slowly inching herself forward by repeating this. Bahaha it's so funny seeing how they come up with methods to get around.

CB I hadn't heard of the cheek ties before either. I suppose not as common. She did pretty well with bfing before the procedure but still wasn't super efficient. Sorry it's so hot again. This week has been better thankfully , I hate hot weather. I'm so ready for fall, it's so beautiful here and I love that crisp air

Ooph AF and hot weather. Once in the winter I had my window down because I felt so hot. Menopause is going to suck.....

Jez sorry for potty training woes. It's so hard to believe what's best for your child when you read so many conflicting things. We semi tried with V but she wasn't ready. Maybe in a month or two.

Kitty hope spotting doesn't lead to AF. If you didn't have those few higher temps before O, your coverline would "look better/be lower".

Pretty sorry you won't be in a new home before baby boy is born. I am happy it sounds like SO is open to a 3rd. DH said he wasn't sure yesterday afternoon, the girls were both fussy. I'm not ready right now, but I'm pretty sure I want one more. Best for me to decide when I'm in best mental shape.

I love the sleep suits! I'm a sucker for the "little sister" outfits.

 

[shaescott]

I see a few of you are in the throes of potty training. All I remember from potty training my sister is that she had a “royal potty” that played fanfare when she peed and that “everybody poops” book. Someone (CB maybe?) mentioned how age 3+ has been mentioned in articles as best age to potty train... my mom always said that the muscles aren’t quite ready in most kids until age 3, so she waited until both of us were 3. However, kids aren’t all the same, they can develop at different rates both mentally and physically, so if your child is under 3 and they are clearly ready for potty training, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. I just hate when they try to potty train infants, I’ve heard of people potty training 9 month olds. Like, they can’t even walk or speak in full sentences, leave them alone.
Anyway, stepping off my soapbox.

Dobs your classroom looks lovely! I bet the kiddos will like it. What grade do you teach? I’m sure you’ve mentioned it but I’ve totally forgotten.

Pretty your bump is adorable sorry the move won’t be happening until after baby arrives. Good news that your SO may be open to #3.

Flueks that’s so funny about S’s creative attempts at mobility lol

AFM Benji is still alive, he’s doing well from what I can tell. His last dose of antibiotic is tomorrow. My last day of work was today, and I move back to school on Monday. I haven’t even finished unpacking from coming home in May, and my room looks like a bomb went off in here, so I have no clue where to even begin with packing. SO is supposed to come over in the morning to help me with the disaster zone.

 

[pacificlove]

Shae: I don't know if it is protty training a baby per se. I had a friend do it with her babies. She stayed home for the first year. According to her it really is about watching your baby closely for those pre-pee and poop cues and then rush them to the toilet. Baby is more inclined to dislike a wet diaper and give stronger cues with the next pee or poop. I'll have to ask her what she thinks of it now, but from what I last heard was that both her kids were later to potty train... Personally, I would not have had the time for that!

Our family doctor actually suggested we potty train L before the birth of baby, so he would have been just 2 and I didn't think he was quite there yet. I think the 2 /1/2 or 2 2/3 or whatever it was, was perfect for our situation.

 

[Jezika]

Re: potty training, this book (Oh Crap! Potty Training) basically says the optimal window is 20-30 months. She says 30-36 months is harder and over 36 months she acts like it’s impossible and, I feel, subtly shames you by talking about kids in diapers/pull-ups at age 3-5 as in a disgusted/pitiful way. Also says that the biggest proponent of PT over age 3 in the medical world has sponsorship from diaper companies, and so likely is biased. She also claims that if the muscles of the bladder and anus aren’t trained during the time window above, it becomes harder later on. At least one pediatric urologist in his own article claims the COMPLETE opposite, about how under 3 the muscles need to be strengthened and that holding (which is essentially what PT teaches) means that those muscles aren’t getting worked as much, and even that it can damage those muscles and cause later incontinence issues. I’m more inclined to go with the latter, though his studies are nowhere near as clearcut as he makes out and I’m still very skeptical. That was a huge (and maddening) black hole that I fell down, and I still wasn’t sure what was best, so I ultimately decided what most of you probably arrived at yourselves: use intuition and don’t push things. I will say the methods in her book did work, and within less than a week in our case (for peeing at least).

I think that PT under a year is probably using elimination communication or similar, but idk much about that. The author of the book claims that it’s great that parents learn to read their kids’ cues, but it’s hard to reprogram them to recognize their own cues and know what to do because they’ve gotten so used to having it done for them. Idk. Who knew potty training has its own crazy world, and very much divided like everything else in parenting of course.

Totally unrelatedly, Shae, I was reflecting on how I used to see your ticker long ago and think you’ll be waiting so, so long for TTC but by gosh that date is drawing near!