General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[PrettyInInk42]

Dobby - Thank you for your kind words. Dunno so much about the leaving early. It's at least an hour's drive from me and it's women only (though SO's aunt said it's ok if Matthew comes), so I may hitch a ride with SO's couisn, J, since she lives several mins from us. The news has had time to sink in. It still sucks, like when I was buying cute girly sleepers from Costco today, but I'll just have to see how things go at the party itself. L and A are very chill people and I have no idea how they'd react if I was all "I'm pretty butt-hurt that you're having a girl and thanks for not even announcing it." Thinking maybe I'll just be civil, but quiet and I'll get her a generic card with no mention of gender.
I don't think SO and I have ever had a marriage talk. I know he thinks engagement rings are a waste of money, doesn't like having his pic taken or being the centre of attention, and doesn't dance, so there's kind of no point. But I'm thinking I might touch base with him on that once we're moved in and settled.

Flueky - I'm actually a little surprised that I didn't cry when I found out I was having a 2nd boy. I cried for like 3 hours when I found out Alex was a boy. If #3 is another boy, I think I'd probably have a breakdown seeing as that'll probably be my last baby. But I just gotta keep my fingers crossed til then. Have you and DH started talking names?

In house news, I'm sooooo close to being done with painting the bedrooms. Just gotta clean the windows and floors after that and then those will be done! Everything else is still getting there slowly but surely.
SO and I DTD again without protection last night. At one point, while he was literally inside of me, he said something along the lines of "I know I was the one who initiated this, but I hope you don't get pg" and then he never pulled out. So, ya. OPK today was fairly negative and I think I'm passed my potential O day for this cycle, but it's my first pp cycle, so who knows? I'll take a couple more opks and see how things go. TWW for me again, I guess. lol

 

[DobbyForever]

Hugs. You’re a trooper. Just remember, we’re here if you need to talk.

hopefully it goes well when you do have the talk. He may not particularly care for it, but maybe if he knows you do and he has a hand in making it special his way as well then he can get on board and even excited about it. A full on diamond engagement ring is both unethical and expensive but I will say the power of rings is amazing. I loved my ring even though I hated my partner and I love my mom ring. They’re just symbols. He doesn’t have to spend thousands on some blinged out ring. They’re are plenty of gorgeous other gems or less in your face rings that equate to a few fancy dinners out. But def conversations if and when you’re up for them. You know you and your relationship best. I just don’t want you to count out something you want just yet because you deserve all the things.

He obviously knows how babies are made and he knows you’re not on bcp so only time will tell

 

[DobbyForever]

I spent all summer crying that I can’t work with at home doing hours of live teaching.

I got an email from daycare saying they can probably take him at the end of the month. And I cried all night because I don’t want my baby to be in danger

 

[kittykat7210]

dobby, I’m freaking out about Evie starting nursery in September. I’m really not sure what to do. Also with Lewis starting school centred teacher training I’ve got it coming from 2 different schools. Even worse. I can’t help but feel in all likelihood one of them will bring it home to the whole family.

I’m sorry there’s no advice, but know that you’re not alone xx

 

[DobbyForever]

I appreciate the solidarity. Hate that others are dealing with it though. I’m pretty sure they haven’t had a cases traced back to the center, I would have been notified of its closure. So fxed. I really think he and I already had it though back when we got super sick mid March. Hopefully you all can continue to avoid it or, if you catch it, that it’s super mild

 

[shaescott]

Things have been quiet on here!

I’m sorry about the school reopening stress everyone’s having. My college is also reopening and a lot of people are freaking out about it. Honestly I learn so much better on campus so I’m excited but still nervous that the dining hall will cause a bunch of cases because we can’t wear masks while we eat. Masks are required at all other times. We also have to get tested before we can come on campus at the start of the semester. I’m more concerned for teachers of younger children who won’t keep their mask on or in schools that don’t require masks. And of course daycares with children under 2 since they can’t wear masks.

No diagnosis yet for SO. His insurance is refusing to cover the video capsule test because it’s “not medically necessary”. I have words. Did I mention they discovered he has a herniated disc as well? His body is a mess lol.

On another note, SO told me if he hadn’t gotten sick and had to quit his job he would’ve proposed to me on our upcoming family camping trip, but he couldn’t afford the ring cuz of the job loss. It’s an annual tradition they do with his family and his best friend’s, and this year they’re bringing me along for the first time. We’re leaving on the trip in the morning. So yeah if 2020 didn’t suck ass, I’d be getting engaged in the next 3 days. BUT NO. This year just sucks. We had to separate the trip into 2 trips because his friend’s mom’s work took back her time off approval so this first trip is just a trip in a camper and in 1.5 weeks we’re supposed to do the actual trip but probably without SO’s parents, so the trip was gonna get messed up anyway and SO wouldn’t have been able to propose in front of both his parents and best friend like he wanted (he wanted them all there and secretly in on it and taking pictures). I told him he could get me a sterling silver CZ ring for all I care at this point, I just want to be engaged. We can upgrade the ring later if we want. So idk what he’s gonna do now. All I know is that I’m mad and sad that 2020 stole another thing from me. Sigh.

 

[DobbyForever]

Oh Shae I’m sorry things aren’t improving. That’s absolutely nuts that his insurance would say that. I never understood how they can ignore people who are so clearly sick. I’m also sorry that the engagement was hindered by covid. Hopefully things look up soon. I know you want to be engaged, but the commitment is there. So it’ll come. It sucks to wait but it’s worth it.

A’s school shut down this week because a teacher was asymptomatic but tested positive. They are doing a deep clean of the campus and re-opening. I’m nervous because I only have Monday and Tuesday to prep a month of materials for 31 students. So if they end up shutting down again I’m f*ed. I’m not worried about spread. They’re pretty strict about precautions and the infant teachers only work with infants the infants don’t go outside to the playground. Teachers don’t interact. The only way it would spread is through siblings potentially. But nobody else has come forward to say they tested positive but with hipPa you don’t really have to. Kind of on your honor. Whatever

j just don’t know how I would do three hours of live teaching a day plus an additional 1.5 of work with this kid home. So fxed they get a handle on it

 

[pacificlove]

Sorry, I haven't posted in a while either..had to get a new phone and thankful it transferred my saved passwords haha

Pretty, i have two boys as well, I really wanted one of each and be done. At this point, I am glad to be getting some of my freedoms back and don't want a 3. DH and I might adopt in a few years if we feel we still want a girl.
On the other hand I have decided to just love my niece as if she were mine. So far I have one but DH has 3 brothers of which only one has just had one child so far. (Another has just started trying). Not only does it honor her parents bedroom if I love her that much, but when she is old enough might I be her cool aunt that she feels comfortable with to talk about things she may not want to talk about with her own mom. (Not that I would keep secrets from her mom)

Shae.. sorry about covid ruining those plans and sos health. Covid has done a number to the world and I am afraid to think of how long it take to recover

Dobs, how is your cucumber doing? I have grown a few things... Usually of the method "take these seeds, throw on the ground and see what happens"

 

[DobbyForever]

PL I have a very similar gardening method lol. The plant had been battling mold. I don’t know if that’s the issue or what, I’m still getting fruit and flowers but nothing has grown. It just stopped. My pickles were amazing so I’m really sad. I was looking forward to making more. Plus A climbed on it and knocked the whole thing over. I was hoping we’d be alright cuz none of the roots got exposed but still no growth. Shrugs

 

[DobbyForever]

We don’t get a lot of fun weather so waking up to this was pretty entertaining haha

as for drinking, I have new boundaries. I no longer have that driving urge to drink, even when I’m sad. I have learned my house needs to be an alcohol free zone. But I can have one drink only with family at a meal out, or as times have if meal in. I have had a marg (ty chili’s to go lol) with my fam a couple times and it hasn’t triggered any binge drinking or solo drinking. This is the healthy relationship I want with alcohol. I’m just hoping once happy hour becomes a thing I don’t fall back into old ways

 

[pacificlove]

Dobs, glad to hear you found a balance that works. Not allowing alcohol into your home is wise.
Last year I bought a tomatillo, grew beautiful, then read it needs two plants to produce... Smacked myself in the head... Only a month later it started to produce and got about 3 lbs of that one plant.. internet advice was definitely wrong on that one. I ended up making salsa from it, however I found they all tasted like feet. Definitely won't be growing those again

AFM, I am still waiting for a puppy... The mom dog is supposed to go into heat any day now. I can't wait and it's almost all I can think about..

 

[Flueky88]

Just wanted to say I'm sorry I haven't been keeping up. Or house has sold quickly so trying to find a place to stay until we get something, work, life with a 3 y.o. and 17 month old has been hectic.

Thinking of all of you and I do always read.

 

[shaescott]

PL I hope you like the new phone! Sorry about the tomatillos, I’ve never tried them and I think I’ll pass based on your description of them I grew tomatoes this year and they’ve been yummy, we like to just snack on them. So exciting about the puppy!

Dobs keeping alcohol out of the house sounds smart. Sorry about the daycare situation, that seems super stressful.

Flueks I hope you find a new house super soon! I can’t believe you’re 27 weeks already, so exciting!

 

[DobbyForever]

PL that's sooo disappointing! I don't know if my two cucumbers were tasty because they went straight into the brine, and the brine was suppppper flavorful. Hopefully she goes into heat soon and she's successfully bred. The waiting is so frustrating. FXed

Shae thanks 33 it all worked out. Nobody else reported cases, and they re-opened so I was able to get my material pick up bags sorted. The teacher before m literally just walked out the door. Like there are still pictures of him in the room, and I texted him two days ago but haven't heard anything. So that's going to be a bit of work to sort out. Luckily I have time since I plan to teach from home. Aiden is adjusting. No surprises.

Fluek sending house hunting dust! And congrats on getting to try 3!!!! So exciting!!!!

 

[PrettyInInk42]

shae - Sorry that SO is still having health issues and that your engagement is being pushed back. FX there won't be any Covid cases at your school.

Dobby - Good for you for figuring out a healthy and mild relationship with alcohol. And glad to hear everything's ok at A's school and that you could get all your prep work done.

Flueky - Good luck house hunting and congrats on 3rd tri! Have you and SO talked about names yet?

PL - Here's hoping the dog will be in heat soon. Sorry if you've said already, but what breed will the puppy be?

AFM, still not moved into the new house. We're waiting on kitchen appliances from one place, furniture from another, still doing little fixes and a bit of painting here and there, and waiting for work to be scheduled for the new flooring at my mom's house so that we can get people to move our stuff for free. And we have Alex's belated birthday party in 8 days. Ugh.
Going to the sprinkle for SO's cousin's wife tomorrow. Double ugh. -.-
And AF showed up today, so looks like no BFP for me again until next year.
Feeling very meh right now and like I just wanna sleep for a few days.

 

[DobbyForever]

Hugs Pretty. That’s a lot to deal with. We’re here if you need to let off some of that weight tomorrow. Hopefully the house stuff gets sorted.

A is emotionally doing better at school. His teach has been around special needs kids her whole life, and she’s one of those overzealous young people who have too much energy and try too hard LOL like me ten years ago but now that he’s more emotionally settled the morning teacher doesn’t check on him as much. He’s had ten accidents on W-F after zero on MT. I don’t particularly care but obviously not a habit I want forming.

As for work, started to put together my digital community builders. I feel awful because the teacher came yesterday. He left in a rush because they were diagnosed with cancer and had surgery. It’s supposedly on the up and up but I’m glad I was able to connect and get them some personal belongings left behind.

 

[DobbyForever]

Venting about my friend no need to read

Oh and luckily my family is safe during these fires. The AQ is tough on me but grand scheme of things that’s nothing to complain about. I did get in a huge fight with my best friend. I’m not overly fond of her new bf. He’s nice to her and she’s the happiest she’s been in years, but he’s clearly not in it for the long haul and she’s a bit delusional about marrying him. I wouldn’t be as annoyed if there wasn’t a kid involved but there is. Lots of things to go on about red flags but it’s his birthday. So my friend spent hundreds of dollars she doesn’t have. But then the night before the city of Vacaville started ordering evacs. I hadn’t looked into details so I told her she’s a grown a* woman and she shouldn’t go but do whatever. So he convinces her to go because “worst case scenario there’s a shelter a couple blocks away”. So her stupid a** drove literally into the f*ing fire to go cook for him and wear sexy lingerie. Meanwhile this guys kid lives in town and he’s supposed to have him this weekend. But he told his ex wife when she had to evac that he wouldn’t take the kid/didn’t want to do his visitation because it was too dangerous. He’s never said he loves her he straight up told her he’s not looking for her to be a mom to his son. He told her he only dates and marries devout Christian women and my friend is an atheist. This isn’t the first time he used some excuse to bail on his kid. And now I officially know how people felt when I dated all my winners. But the fact that she actually drove into fire. I’m mad at him for pressuring her. I’m mad at her because who is that f*ing stupid?!?! That was days ago and I’m still heated

 

[DobbyForever]

Ok one more dramatic post

so A went back to school and for a month now I have asked my family if they want us to stop coming over cuz 3 year olds don’t social distance. I literally just asked them last night again! So I show up today and people are ignoring my calls, so I knew something was up. I get there and my stepdad and brother bolt. So A goes to my mom to hug her and the men are making faces. And my mom is like you need to leave cuz last night your brother saw a picture on the daycare app of A hugging his teacher. And I’m like well duh he’s 3 what did you think would happen. And then my stepdad did his leave the house routine so he can’t be blamed. And I’m like ok I asked repeatedly and it’s not a convenient drive here or back like you should have said something. Plus double standards. Then my brother was like you’re playing victim and you’re gonna kill my dad. So I left cuz I’m not trying to be somewhere I’m not wanted. And my mom is crying. She’s losing her mind cuz she’s so isolated and now my brother and I are banned (brother got a new roommate cuz old one moved and my stepdad is the landlord and said he has to get another one despite my brother having an auto immune disorder and still isn’t strong enough to fight off a regular cold let alone covid). And even though he had a roommate before something about how they banned him indefinitely even though this guy WFH. So my bro texts to say he’ll be better/ I can come over (only time avoid getting yelled at by my mom later) and I’m like I don’t need you to be better I just want you to acknowledge there is a double standard and covid is just an excuse he uses to ban us from the house cuz he already told me to stop coming over long before covid but I don’t answer to him. And that if my mom keeps yelling that it’s because my stepdad has systematically removed everything from her life. She only had her kids and now she hasn’t have two kids and her only grandchild. And she’s slipping into an even deeper psychosis because if it and her doctor wants to put her on a heavier medication because she’s so stressed out it’s impacting her ability to do her job. And he had the nerve to text me back telling me to stfu about my evil conspiracy theories. So I told him that it was really hard to read that text and all I want is for him to accept and acknowledge that his relationship to his dad is loving and wonderful and great but my relationship with him can be and is different. And it shouldn’t be because this is a man who has been in my life for 26 years, I was barely 5. I don’t even remember my dad and the memories I have are probably just from stories people told me. This man should be my father and isn’t and that wasn’t a choice made by 5 year old me. Like he won’t even play with A or take pictures with A if the boys aren’t home. I remember the first pumpkin patch asking to take a picture of him and A/ him and my mom and A and he no hesitation so why and when I just stared at him he said no thanks I’ll take a picture of you and mom and A though like wtf. Same with sabra pictures I invite them and he’s like why would I be in it.

 

[shaescott]

Pretty I’m sorry you’re feeling meh. Is this the sprinkle for the people having a baby girl that you don’t want to go to because you want a girl so badly? That’s so hard, I can only imagine that pain. Sending hugs

Dobs I’m glad A is doing better at school!

Yikes re: your friend. That’s so twisted, he’ll only date and marry Christian women but he’ll screw an atheist? If he’s so strict on religion that he won’t marry an atheist, how on earth is he rationalizing a casual relationship and sex with no intention of marriage? Idk what bible he read but as a Christian myself, that ain’t it chief. I’m clearly not waiting for marriage and I don’t care what people do but at least be consistent??? He needs more Jesus and less judging. Also more taking responsibility for his kid and not convincing people to DRIVE INTO FIRE.

As for your stepdad, tf is wrong with him? There’s no excuse for not stepping up and being a dad to a 5 year old. He should treat you like his own child, and I can’t believe after that long he doesn’t think of you as his own child. That’s so messed up. The fact that he’s trying to distance himself from you and A is so weird. I’m sorry your family has been so dysfunctional lately. That must be really hard to deal with. Sending love

AFM things are gonna get crazy soon as school approaches. I have to get COVID tested on Tuesday because my school is requiring it. I also have to get a drug test done for school this week, get my car fixed, get stuff signed by my doctor saying I’m healthy enough for clinical, probably get my hair trimmed cuz the split ends are coming back with a vengeance... and of course I have to pack for school and find my med/surg book from sophomore year cuz we’re using the same one. Move in day is September 8th. SO is on vacation in Yellowstone with his family for a week (he left yesterday) so I’m gonna be stuck at home cooking every day and being incredibly bored. He’s loving it there though, he’s a big nature guy so he’s in heaven and wants to live there My mom told me that since he’s going on a plane I can’t see him for 2 weeks after he comes back without masks and 6 feet apart. I know she’s right from a logical standpoint, but it really sucks because that means I won’t be able to see him before going back to school and he won’t be able to help me move in. But if I get Covid and bring it to school with me, my college will shut down and I won’t get my clinical experiences that I need so badly in order to be a competent nurse.

Speaking of which, I’m really thinking of doing L&D nursing at this point. I’ve always been so interested in pregnancy and birth and that class came so easily to me while others struggled with it. I actually enjoy learning about it, whereas I hate learning most other subjects, and ICU requires a ton of knowledge in body systems that I don’t enjoy studying. I think I’ll be a better nurse if I’m in a specialty I really enjoy learning more about. I don’t want to be a subpar nurse. BUT, I’m doing my spring capstone in a tele/stepdown unit as far as I know (tele is continuous heart monitoring, stepdown as in not sick enough for ICU but needs more attention and monitoring than a normal med/surg unit can provide) so I’m going to have to do a lot of cardiac studying. I’m awful at remembering cardiac meds so I’m gonna have to really work at that before starting that placement. If I end up loving telemetry when I actually have clinical there, who knows, maybe I’ll end up in it or in the ICU. But as of now I’m leaning L&D.

 

[DobbyForever]

Shae. Hugs. Ty for reading my rants. You’re the best.

I’m so glad he’s having a good time out in nature. . Sorry about the quarantine though. Just because something is logical doesn’t make it any easier. And fxed the covid test is smooth and neg! I had one done on Fri, and my throat is still sore =\. It’s such anxiety wondering if or when things might shut down. Hopefully things continue to run smoothly and the school stays open and your able to stay safe/get those hours. I know you’ll rock whatever path you choose, but I think you’ll do exceptionally in L&D.

pretty hope you’re holding up alright

atm y’all are pretty caught up lol. A little on edge because I’m 3.5 miles from the evacuation warning border. Basically ends at the freeway closest to my place. The threat is less that particularly fire spreading plus jumping a freeway, but we have a red flag warning with possibly more dry lightning. I’m only several blocks from very dry hills that periodically catch on fire anyway, usually put out quickly. But the fire department has said their units are out dealing with the other fire so if something starts this side of the freeway it will spread quickly as there’s nobody here to address it =\. My cousin is also about 1.5 hours north east of here. They’ve been in hazardous air quality for days. She’s also just barely out of evacuation warning zone due to a freeway. Then I have friends in SJ on warning packing go bags and other friends sheltering family evacuated out of Santa Cruz. You look at the Cal Fire map and it’s like literally fires in the shape of California. It really feels like an apocalypse.