General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[PrettyInInk42]

Gonna try to keep this short cuz it's late and I'm exhausted.

Dobby - Happy belated Birthday!! Glad that you ended up having such a nice day. What are we gonna e calling this new guy? Tinder Bae? lol. Either way, he sounds like a pretty decent guy. Sorry the sex wasn't the greatest, but there always ways to improve it and practice makes perfect. If he looking to have kids ASAP too, this may be your perfect guy. FX.

shae - Good to hear your on the job training is going well. I'm sure you'll do fine with IVs on real people, but FX they'll be understanding regardless. Hope your cough clears up soon and you pee stays put. lol

Flueky - Good luck getting your certificate this week.

AFM, so far so good with the new car. Took a trip to Costco with it today and it was hella roomy with the back seats down.
Dirty condo wasn't that bad. The woman was just particular and had an eye for dirty. But we were as thorough as we could be and she was singing our praises before we were even done. Ended up being there for 7h20 at $20/hr, so about $147 grosse AND she tipped me and the other woman $70 each. Not bad for a rainy Saturday.
SO's junk seems to be alright. Not quite healed but not worse. Hoping to BD on Thursday night, so FX.
Alex's gifts are wrapped, gonna make a cake after bedtime tomorrow, and then my little Munchie turns 4. So crazy.

 

[DobbyForever]

Oooo that’s awesome that the condo wasn’t worst case scenario! And yay for the tip! That’s awesome! And yay for the car being a great fit so far! I’m about to do a third yay with another exclamation mark lol about the junk situation and doing some official ttc this week! Sounds like things are really awesome!!! Remind me, you’re doing a get together tomorrow, right?

ummm the problem is he’s not my only tinder encounter. I’ll can call him Dog Dad or Virginia. My hesitation with the college thing is mostly social, but also I’ve dated guys up until I was about 23 that were less educated or less ambitious with their careers. Including a guy who never went to college/potentially lied about finishing high school. And they always felt emasculated and they barely could help financially. Sure, this guy is taking care of himself rn. But money is fungible. And I have a kid. And long term we can’t live here with three dogs. But he’s not going to be able to match my down payment or salary on a house. I feel the seeds of my disorganized attachment already starting to sprout lol. But I could see him giving me a child before I’m 35.

 

[PrettyInInk42]

We're doing the party on the 31st. Tomorrow is just pizza and cake with my mom.

SO didn't even finish a full year of college and now working for a bank making like $70K a year. I finished a year long culinary arts program and a full year of hairdressing and I'm now cleaning houses. College isn't everything. lol. But if you know money is always gonna be an issue, then I guess that's a pretty big deciding factor.

 

[shaescott]

Flueks yeah I really should look into pelvic floor PT. I know it’s not normal, but I’ve had it happen very infrequently since I was in middle school. I’m trying not to start any new doctor relationships since I’m going to be moving so soon, no point finding a provider around where I currently live.
Awesome that the house is moving along!

Pretty happy birthday to Alex! Glad to hear that the car is working out well for you and that the cleaning gig paid well/wasn’t too bad

Dobs re: this new guy, I’d say be careful but not because of his lack of degree, simply because you need to protect yourself and A in general. I think if he’s hard working and has a full time job that pays okay, it doesn’t matter that he didn’t finish college. I do get wanting to wait for someone who can afford to give A the life you want him to have, but at the same time I don’t think you should exclude people as a possibility for that reason alone. It’s one thing to be lazy and refuse to work or not have a job, that’s a legit exclusion. But just not making as big a salary as you’d prefer? Personally, I don’t think that should be a dealbreaker. If you fall in love with him and he treats you and A right and he works hard, that’s all that really matters I think.

AFM it’s Monday night and I’m already exhausted. I work 40 hours this week which I know is normal full time but it’s hard to go from sitting at home all day every day for 2 months to 5 days a week going to work for 8 hours. I can’t wait until my schedule is just the 3 days a week. However, the one upside is that I get more money for rent and to show on my application for an apartment.

 

[DobbyForever]

Happy Birthday, Alex! Hope you have fun with the pizza and cake tonight!

Shae, congrats on making it through the first week! Sorry you're exhausted though. That's exactly right though! To go from not working to 40 hours is a huge jump! Definitely be kind to yourself. Way to see the positive to this temporary overload! Keep rocking it!

Yeah the college thing is mostly the social stigma issue. It's bothering me less every day because I do know so many great dads who didn't have a college degree, and he's not unintelligent. We spent all morning having a deep discussion on CRT and racial politics and the education system.

The money only bothers me because I've seen it be a problem in my previous relationships. I know that my salary is stable and increases each year, and remmariage won't affect child support unless he adopts A. I don't know what he makes, but I do know he just got a new job that he's super stocked about with perks way better than my job LMFAO. I can give up on SFH for a second kid with someone like him though. But it'd have to be a spacious condo like the one I have now. Preferably an end unit and with thicker walls lol. Getting ahead of myself, I do worry though that I may cave and move out east. He was showing me his best friends stunning 2 acre property with 5 bedrooms, 4 baths, an insane pool. 716k! My condo is 605! :cries:

I'm definitely letting my emotional guard down. But still keeping the A guard up. No intention of introducing them any time soon. I literally just met the guy haha. But I do get good vibes. His insta isn't private, and most of his pictures are him and his family. It's so cute.

But I woke up this morning and realized like I have been asking for a man like this. He's sweet, so funny, potential for a good dad, so good looking... like he's just the total package. So I talked to my therapist this morning about some recommended reading for anxious avoidant attachment styles. Because my inner monologue just keeps saying that this is all too good to be true and it's all going to hit the fan.

But girls. I may be screwed lol. I saw him yesterday , we were cuddling, and I was just at peace. And I must have truly looked it because he kissed me on the forehead and said I look really happy being there. And I honestly was.

 

[shaescott]

Dobs the prices on the west coast are absolutely insane. Here are some examples of prices for houses in my home town in New England with a great school system:


When my parents bought our 5 bed 3 bath house in the late 90s it was in the $200,000s.

 

[PrettyInInk42]

Will reply properly later, buuut...

My parents bought their 3 bed, 1.5 bath, 1500sqft townhouse in 1986 for $77,000. Last year, we bought a basically identical TH for $647K. Houses like that in my area would be well over $1M. lol

 

[DobbyForever]

I’m dead Shae those are massive! I love it. We don’t even have houses built like that around here lol. Weird a** Bay Area. I love it though. Generally a more modern girl myself, but I do fancy some exposed brick. If I had millions laying around I typically lean to these three styles.

Also LOVE how much both of your parents’ houses have appreciated! It’s such a great investment emotionally to have a home for your kids, but then the financial investment isn’t bad either.

Pretty take your time! I know you said just pizza and cake, but I’m sure it was a busy day. Hope everything went smoothly and Alex had fun!

afm ABA company is getting on my nerves again but I told them to piss off tomorrow lol. Gonna go to the aquarium for a couple of hours, maybe have lunch on cannery row depending on A’s tired cranky meter, nap, then speech, and low key fam dinner. Probably at chili’s lol. Or Thai food cuz my dad took my mom out for Thai food after the aquarium. We’ll see. I want a margarita though

random but eta the 2 mil is technically in my hometown but it’s zoned for a neighboring town’s school district which explains the price difference. It was really bothering me lol

 

[PrettyInInk42]

Dobby - Happy Birthday to A!!

 

[shaescott]

Dobs wait is it A’s birthday? I totally missed that! If so, happy Birthday to A!
I hope the aquarium goes well

I like the exposed brick as well. I used to like the modern stuff I think because of the clean lines, but these days I’m more into farmhouse and traditional styles. I also like log cabin style, but I prefer the inside to be mostly drywall with only a little exposed lot beams, otherwise I feel like the walls look too busy and the rooms are too dark. I like light and airy rooms, Unfortunately SO loves dark wood and I like light wood because it doesn’t darken a room.

 

[PrettyInInk42]

shae - Sorry that you're so tired from work, but you'll get used to being up and around like before. And I'm sure it'll be better once you're working less days. Hope you're enjoying it though.

Dobby - I really hope that he is finally your Prince Charming. He really does sound great and I hope your reading helps you to accept his love and attention. Nothing wrong you having your guard up a bit, but don't let it keep you from enjoying him. Sending you good vibes.

AFM, today (the 21st) was CD12. The previous cycle I O'd at 3am on CD16 and the one before that, it was on CD14. The goal is to BD 1-2 days before my peak. I was gonna aim for tomorrow night (CD 13, into 14), but I know there are women in the FB who got pg with girls 3 or 4 days before their peaks, so I decided on tonight. SO and I DTD just under an hour ago and I've been laying here, letting the sperm do their thing. Assuming I get my O pretty soon, I guess I'll be in my TWW.

 

[DobbyForever]

Thanks loves! . And right?! I can’t believe how close Alex and A were born!

Ooo log cabins can be cute. Have to agree with you, I don’t mind an exterior dark wood but you gotta brighten it up inside. How is SO? I remember him being quite down a bit ago. Hopefully feeling more like himself

Thanks Pretty! Now that I’ve accepted I like him, I can’t sleep. I’m so anxious. Uggggh lol. And ahh that’s so exciting! The first official ttc bd! Sending all the pinky twin dust in the world to you!

AFM yesterday was good. A few hiccups here and there, but everything worked out in the end. We spent only about an hour at the aquarium, which is fine because we’re members so it’s not like we shelled out $50/person to be there an hour lol. He finally was able to touch a bat ray, and the look on his face was priceless. he was not expecting that texture. Then we went to Bubba Gump for lunch and he got a free ice cream bar with sprinkles. That he did it eat cuz my kid will not eat sugary stuff lol. Was supposed to nap in the car but there was stop and go traffic, so he missed nap. Had quiet time then went to speech and had a good session. Then dinner at a Thai food restaurant before cake (that we didn’t eat lmfao) and presents. We’re all so tired and stressed we didn’t even wrap them. Just straight up here’s the Amazon box overall it was a good day, and I am so thankful that things have re-opened enough to have recreated my last birthday with my dad for A.

it was hard not having him there, and it was hard because I remember going and being able to really enjoy the aquarium. And seeing A enjoy it on a different level/in a non typical way is hard. Plus at one point he needed a break from him mask and people were glaring. And usually he runs everywhere and nobody cares, but yesterday everyone was seriously all over me with the judge mental looks. Was not there for it. So I was emotionally done after an hour too. But it is what it is

 

[shaescott]

Pretty oooo baby dust for only XX sperm getting near that egg!

Dobs I’m glad you had a good day overall. Sorry about the judgey people

SO is doing okay, his new (used) car has been a buttload of trouble but otherwise pretty good.

 

[shaescott]

Today was wild. My middle aged seemingly healthy patient went from stable and about to be discharged to stat EKG and labs and meds and imaging. I got out 1.5 hours late. On the bright side, I get paid for that extra time. I was so overwhelmed once he was off to a different floor because we got along really well, just constant banter, and I had gotten attached to him. Some people say not to get attached but… I can’t not.

 

[PrettyInInk42]

Dobby - Ya, super close. If memory serves me, he was due on the 31st, right? Harry Potter's BDay. So fitting. lol
Glad you guys had a good day. It can really be bittersweet to go places with your kids that you went with your late parent(s). When we went to Disney with the kids in January 2020, it was so surreal to be there with them when the last time I was there was February 2015, 11 months before my dad died. Getting a little emotional as I type this, but you can only go forward and just try to make their childhood memories just as great yours were.

shae - Sorry SO's car is being a pain right now. And sorry you had such a traumatic experience with your patient. Did school cover how to be able to leave your emotions at the door when you're at work? Totally nothing wrong with caring and being friendly, but your gonna meet A LOT of people now. Can't get attached to everyone.

AFM, it's been 3 days and 9 hours since our BD and still getting negative OPKs. I know I'm not down and out just yet, but I feel like it's not looking good. For days, I've been thinking "yup, I'm pg. Totally. Of course this worked. How could it not? SO and I are quite fertile." But my optimisism is starting to fade. :/

 

[DobbyForever]

Shae glad SO is feeling better but bummer the car has turned into a headache. I'm sorry about your patient. It is hard, and there is that fine balance of caring but not caring so much it ends up destroying you. TBH it's why I can never work in a lower income school again. It sounds awful, but I can't close my heart off to the kids and I want to carry their weight for them to a point it was literally affecting my emotional and physical health. I think getting attached is good so long as you're not reaching that point. Hope he pulls through.

Pretty great memory! Yup, he was due July 31st of Aug 1st. I just remember being upset that his original due date was 8/1, which is my dad's death date. It was hard, but I really felt like he was there with us just looking out. And exactly, we just keep pushing forward.

Re the opks remind me again, are you using them to test for ovulation or are you using them to pre-emptively try to check for pregnancy? Keeping my FXed

AFM Virginia has slowly been texting me less. Literally only texted me once yesterday mid day. I know he said he was potentially planning to celebrate with friends, but idk. You know me. You make time to talk to who you wanna talk to. And I usually wake up to a wall of text, but nothing today. And the sane brain is like girl you know he went out with friends last night but the anxiety brain is like nah girl he didn't text you cuz he's busy sleeping with someone else. We're supposed to hang out tomorrow morning, so hopefully he texts to confirm. Otherwise I'm gonna shoot him a text later this afternoon. I've just seen this happen to me/my friends enough times to know that when a guy goes from texting you back within 10 minutes to only texting 1-2x a day... not a good sign.

 

[shaescott]

Pretty I wouldn’t call it traumatic, I wasn’t even close to as overwhelmed as I’m sure he and his family were, I just was nervous for him and overwhelmed at how busy the day had gotten. I wasn’t so attached that I would be nonfunctional if he died, just reasonably upset and stunned considering the sudden turn of events.

I’m sorry to hear about the negative OPKs. I’m assuming that you wouldn’t want to BD again because you don’t want to BD too close to O since you want a girl? Praying for you that your positive OPK comes any time now. Will you try again next cycle if this one doesn’t work out? I remember there was an issue of optimal timing in the year for you.

Dobs I can only imagine how hard it would be with those poor little kids, you just want to scoop them up and tell them everything will be okay and fix everything for them, but you can’t. It doesn’t sound awful at all, it sounds like you care deeply about your students and that is a good thing. However, like you said, there comes a point where it starts to destroy you because there’s nothing you can do for so many of their problems and that hurts. I’m definitely not at that point, I don’t get to know my patients over 9-10 months like you do your students. It’s a much less deep connection, which I’m grateful for because it would kill me to see these things happening to people I’ve known for several months or more. That’s a whole nother level of attachment.

Regarding Virginia boy, dang. I hope it’s nothing and that he’s just tired or hungover or something, but it’s always worrying when the frequency of texts decreases like that.

 

[PrettyInInk42]

Dobby - I'm sure Virginia is just busy. Have you heard from him much today? And OPKs are to check for O. More in that below...

shae - Fair enough. And it really is crazy how life can go from zero to 60 in a minute.
Ya, no 2nd BD. A "prefect sway" says you should only have one BD, 2-3 days before O/1-2 days before peak OPK. There are a bunch of women who've had imperfect sways (2nd BDs) and still ended up with girls, but apparently SO's suspected balanitis has flared up and we're back to nightly cream application. Will definitely be trying again. And April baby would be preferred, but I'm not waiting another year to try. Basically anything that's at least 4 weeks away from Alex's BDay, Matthew's BDay, and XMas is acceptable.

So, I've finally reached my peak. My last OPK at 5:30pm was 1.32. Haven't tested again, but probably will soon. It's been almost exactly 5 days since our BD, so highly unlikely the sperm is still kicking around. I'll still take a test in a couple weeks, but I doubt this is my cycle. -.-

 

[Flueky88]

Shae I think people just get burnout and others are just good at removing any emotion with their work. I cannot understand how hospice nurses do it. I fully support dying comfortably and with dignity but man, I would be so depressed I think.

Dobby sorry his texting is decreasing. Hope it doesn't mean anything, but I know what you mean about people making time for you.

Pretty I hope his swimmers are durable. I know it's not impossible but I also get that it is at the far end of the spectrum. Hope SO gets healed up soon and you get a pink bfp

 

[Flueky88]

Work is done except for a few things that shouldn't hold us back. Building qnd Zoning should go out today and we hope to get the certificate of occupancy today. Then we need electric turned on and get our keys. We plan to move Saturday if all goes well. We will do a few things Friday if able. Soooo excited