General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[shaescott]

Green how exciting! I really hope it goes well for you and that it has the desired effect! I know it’s scary to get surgery but I’m sure you’ll do great.

Flueks ugh that’s frustrating, but I’m glad thing are still being accomplished.

Pretty fx’d for Sunday testing!

Dobs I’m sorry to hear about VI. Maybe a man break would be good, you could try to focus on yourself for a while perhaps? Like improving something lifestyle-wise or starting a new good habit or looking into more options to manage your depression? Idk, just ideas.

For example, I started keeping a (virtual) gratitude journal for my New Year’s resolution and I still write a sentence of something I’m thankful for that day, every day. Sometimes it’s deep and sometimes it’s just little good things that happened throughout the day, or just what didn’t go wrong lol. But my intention was to just be more mindful and grateful for my blessings and to just continue to realize how fortunate I am. For habits, I try to pray when I get into bed every night, buuuut I often forget or just fall asleep while trying to think of what to say I have been really bad with my eating habits lately so I really need to work on that, and I’m very inactive, although I have been on my feet much more due to work. Hopefully once I’ve moved I’ll figure out meals and get to the gym more since it’ll be closer to me, but we’ll see.

Anyway, I’m sorry to hear that your mouth is bothering you after the clean and I’m sorry you’re struggling regarding your dad at the moment.

AFM still no news on the apartment. The property manager was out sick today so I have to wait until Monday for them to come back in, they can’t do it virtually. SO and I went out and bought a mattress today, which was exciting. It’s gel memory foam and nice and firm for his back. We laid on a bunch and actually went with the first one we tested.

Work again tomorrow so off to bed early I go!

ETA: I also got CD10 evening BD so praying for an early O but I know it’s not super likely. I’ve been weirdly spotting the past 2 days, not like end of period spotting but like fresh blood. No clue what’s up with that. So it’s quite possible it’s something that’s going to throw my cycle off and cause a late O, just my luck I’m just hoping for a CD14-16 O.

 

[PrettyInInk42]

Green - The Babydust Method is the theory that when you have sex in relation to ovulation, you're more likely to conceive one gender over another. For a boy, they say to BD at 24 and 48 hours after you get a peak OPK. For a girl, you're supposed to BD once, 1-2 days before a peak OPK. On the 8th, I'll be about 11dpo. We BD'd about 5 days before my peak though. So, I really have no idea how this is gonna go.
Good luck with your surgery and weight loss going forward.

Flueky - Yay for moving in finally! Did your storage building show up yet?

Dobby - Sorry that you're still feeling down. And that things aren't gonna pan out with VI. I agree with shae; a man break is probably a good idea. Hopefully it'll give you some peace and clarity. And I hope your mouth feels better soon. I had a filling come out last weekend and anything that wasn't room temp hurt to chew or drink. Luckily I was able to get an appt on Tuesday to get it filled in again.

shae - FX that you'll get the apt and an early O. That mattress sounds nice. SO and I just got a new one a few months ago and we're still loving it.

AFM, so I was a little weak and tested on the 4th and the 6th. Both after work, with long urine holds, and ICs, but no 2nd line to see so far. I think I'll treat myself to one of my FRERs on Sunday morning. lol. I'm just being a little stitious about this. I got my BFP with Alex on Nov 26, 1 day before SO's dad's BDay. And I got my BFP with Matthew on SO's BDay. I know a girl with a BDay on the 4th and my sister's is the 6th. A male 2nd cousin once removed and my nephew are the 5th and 7th, respectively. So, I'm hoping a BFP on a "girl's BDay" will result in a girl baby. The only person I know of that's born on the 8th is Princess Beatrice though. lol. Anywho, I've gone off on a tangent.
In other news, SO volunteered the info that he's "not up for baby dancing, but baby heavy petting should be alright." Those were his exact words. lol. He knows that term cuz I had stuff written on the calendar and he asked what BD meant. He also asked what the XO in the circle meant. I told him X was when I was planning to BD and the O was just the calendar telling us there was gonna be a full moon that night. Hahahaha. But ya, totally out of nowhere. His junk seems to be on the mend again, so probably best to be more gentle and cautious going forward.

 

[PrettyInInk42]

Oh! Also, I had some mild cramps today. As well as a couple occurences twinges in my boobs over the past few days and pretty tired in the evenings. Don't recall having this with my other pregnancies or even leading up to AF, but I know every pregnancy can be different. FX!!

 

[DobbyForever]

Pretty legal wtf is baby heavy petting? Or does he just mean heavy petting? and was trying to be cute? Glad his p is on the mend. Sorry about the bfns so far. Keeping my fxed

Shae woohoo for a great mattress! Bummer she was sick. Hope she’s back in the office and you get an answer on Monday.

Thanks ladies. I’m feeling better because I went to the teacher supply store, and I’m excited about my plan for my classroom. That’s a major source of stress, so I’m looking forward to getting it set up my way.
gratitude attitude is good. I did that 100
Happy Days, and it seriously changed my whole perspective. My therapist set me up with a couple mindfulness apps, I’m just not great about the follow through. I like being physical and outdoors, and I’ve gotten in four rides now and that’s helping. I’ll pull out of it soon

Had a good day. Took A to this hands on kids museum and he had a blast. Helped my mom with her classroom. Let A play in his snap pool cuz so dang hot. Back is sore from riding but no pain so that’s good. And omg when I’m on my sugar pills, the broody is so real! My body wants a baby so bad lol. My brain is like girl you struggled with one kid today, thank goodness you don’t have two. But my whole reproductive system is begging for a baby


But yeah I had originally planned on VI being a one night/best case til work starts booty call. He just made it sound like maybe there was room for more, and I got caught up in the dream. Plus those genes. We’d make such cute babies lmfao. He isn’t Abercrombie hot, but every time I see him it’s like crazy. He is like handcrafted by God to be my type. I am gonna let my PT know I have a low key crush on him once my therapy is done, but other than that I’m over it. Gonna focus on work and A and all the usual stuff

 

[PrettyInInk42]

Dobby - He was being silly. lol. Glad to hear you're feeling better and hope that decorating your room goes smoothly. That museum sounds fun. Dunno if we have anything like that around here. Plus, I don't think they'd let a ton of kids run around touching everything right now. lol
Good luck with your PT. How many more appts do you have?

AFM, looks like BFNs all around. AF is supposed to start on the 11th, so I may test one more time on the 10th, but it's probably pointless. Now hoping for mid May and aiming for a CD14/15 BD.

 

[DobbyForever]

I see a shadow but my line eye is bad lately. FXed!!

And yeah lol it was a bit cringe but the majority of kids had masks and there was tons of sanitizer everywhere. And clearly operating at super reduced capacity which was nice.

PT just depends but I’m thinking this next appointment will be my last. I’m not having any pain, and once I’m back to my 20m cycling classes/work then that’s really it for goals. I’m sure I’ve built it into something it’s not/who knows if the guy is single. Plus he has access to my file so he’s seen my pregnancy scare, my obsessive STD testing, my trauma/anxious avoidant convos with my therapist. Like who wants to go out with that chick lol. And even if he did, I googled it and general consensus is you can’t be dating a patient for like a year post discharge. But I’m just gonna write him a thank you note with my number in it and make a fool of myself lol. He’s always been sweet. Asked about my birthday before and after without me bringing it up. Followed up when I vented about ABA. Mentioned his brother has ASD as well. He’s short. We’re the same height. And he’s so encouraging and nice even when I don’t do my stretches lol. And I know it’s just his job to be nice to me, but idk PLUS I think I saw him on hinge back in January. But I could be wrong. And he’d be convenient cuz he works literally 5m from my place.

 

[DobbyForever]

Omg I did the prudent thing and googled him. He is definitely far from single so thank goodness for that

I’m going to be single forever

 

[shaescott]

Dobs oof but glad you googled before giving him your number.

Pretty fx’d you’ll have a line tomorrow, but if not fx’d for next cycle!

AFM no apartment news yet, I called and they said it’s still processing. My cervix was decently high this morning but CM still creamy and OPKs very negative. Last time I had a CD16 O my LH started rising CD14 morning so I’m most likely out.

 

[DobbyForever]

Sorry the timing wasn’t in your favor but I know it’s going to be such a great experience when the stars align for that right moment

and ugh about the apartment still processing

afm full day of work today and I am spent

 

[shaescott]

Update: We got approved for the apartment!!! It’s the most expensive one that’s available but we can stretch it (I think lol) and it means we get a dishwasher and more space so I’ll take it. Move in day is the 24th! They’re emailing us the lease tomorrow, we’re going to have a notary witness us signing it so my mom doesn’t have to drive up to NH. I’m super excited and also super nervous, which I think is appropriate.

 

[DobbyForever]

Shae that’s awesome! Congratulations! Definitely normal to be nervous but you totally got this! What an exciting new chapter!

 

[mrs.green2015]

Congratulations shae!! That is so exciting! I’m really happy for you.

Dobs- I’m glad you googled him before you said something though! I can’t imagine being single right now. Just watching people I know in the dating world is scary enough. It’s so cliche but I really believe in what’s meant to be will be



Pretty- have you taken anymore tests? I see a shadow on the top test also.

AFM-
I had surgery Sunday. I feel mostly good. I’m almost 40 pounds down from where I was when I started this process 5 months ago. So we’ll see what the surgery brings. I told my mother in law last weekend and she was not supportive at all. She said she didn’t like it and blah blah. She also said everyone she knows who has gotten it has still has issues and is divorced. So apparently I’m getting divorced now also. The “still dealing with it” is taking vitamins.

 

[Flueky88]

Dobby oh so glad you googled him. Google is both a blessing and a curse. I hope you enjoy some time before going back to school.

Shae, I am so happy that you got the apartment!!! Now remind me, did you have to have a roommate or is it just you and SO?


Pretty sorry for bfn fx for a girl may baby in your future!

Greenie.best wishes on a speedy postoperative recovery! I did have a few patients in home care with complications after gastric bypass/sleeve but not many. I can only recall 2, ever. I know one went to Mexico to have surgery and that caused a lot of her issues. I think in my 7 years of home care to only have 2 means there are great success rates so don't listen to your MIL! Sometimes MILS can drive us insane huh?


AFM been sick, I think from only getting 3 to 5 hours of sleep a night for a week or more. It killed my immune system, went to urgent care yesterday because I wanted to make sure it wasn't covid. It wasn't but wasn't given many options since I'm breastfeeding. I cannot tell you all how happy I will be to have my body be my own. Been too long since I could take medicine without worrying how it would effect my baby, earthside or unborn, or milk supply. I'm feeling mostly better today.

 

[mrs.green2015]

Flu- that was really hard for me too. It was so nice the first time I got sick after breast feeding I could take anything! lol

 

[DobbyForever]

Green sorry about MIL's negativity. For what it's worth, everyone that I know who has gotten it is so thankful as it's really helped them put their health back on track. Glad the surgery went well. I hope the recovery is going smoothly!

Fluek so sorry that you aren't feeling well, and definitely getting sick while bfing is so hard. Glad to hear that you're feeling better today. I think one time I got so sick I had not choice but to take something and it decimated what little supply I had.

Re PT/men/babies lol yeah super awkward. I do believe in God, and I do believe he has a plan for me. Whatever that may be. I got a letter to refinance that would cut my mortgage in half. I don't like the idea of making this condo my forever home, but it would mean potentially being able to have a second child on my own. My logic brain is thankful every day I don't have a second kid, but my emotional brain is pushing hard for it.

FINALLY got an appointment to change A's name with social security and they denied his health card! First they said it was because it didn't have an issue date. Then they said because his birthday only had a month and a year. Then it was because even though with the month and year you can figure out his age, it didn't explicitly say his age. Like I brought this kid's old and new medical cards, his paternity paperwork from the hospital, his mask medical exemption, his original and amended birth certificate... like my kid doesn't have a passport and his school id doesn't have his name on it for privacy. Like what more do you want from me?! And everyone I talked to said that's bulls*.

 

[PrettyInInk42]

shae - Yay and congrats on getting the apartment. So exciting!

Green - Glad to hear your surgery went well. Sorry that your MIL is being a pain though. Some people just can't be happy for others. It's probably too early to know if you'll need it, but do you think you'll need skin removal once you're t your goal weight?

Flueky - Sorry you've been under the weather and sleep deprived. Glad to hear you're on the mend though. Do you have a set date to stop BFing, or will you just wait til your supply naturally lowers?

Dobby - Ugh, that sucks. Dunno why the government has to make everything so difficult. What are your options going forward?
Are you actually gonna weigh the pros and cons of staying where you are and having a 2nd, or are you gonna leave it as just you and A until you find a guy?

AFM, I did test this morning. BFN again and then AF showed up this afternoon. So, back to square one for me. Considering my peak days since the start of the year, I'm just gonna hold off til CD14-ish and not try to jump the gun.
On top of that, I got a text from SO around noon saying he'd rolled his ankle and scraped his knee while walking along a very short makeshift path between our place and my mom's. He was going there cuz my mom had apparently asked him to drive her to the hospital. As of this evening, he can still walk, but he's sore. Gonna see how he feels in the morning, but we both feel like he likely won't need a trip to Emerge. As for my mom, what little info I got from her was she was having chest pains and trouble breathing. After 12 hours at the hospital, some IV drugs, an Xray and CT scan, they say it's not a pulmonary embolism, or an issue with the heart's electrical system, or pleural or pericardial effusion. She still has the pain and they apparently gave her morphine, so I dunno. :/

SO's knee and where he twisted his ankle.

 

[mrs.green2015]

Pretty- on no on everything. How is your mom? How is SO? Hopefully a little ice did the trick. Sorry about AF that’s super frustrating I totally get it.

Dobs- you’re changing As name? Last name I assume?

AFM-
recovery is going well. 3 days post op and I’m sore but doing fine. I went grocery shopping and cleaned a little today, which is probably why I’m sore. I don’t know if I’ll need surgery for excess skin but I assume I will. At minimum a tummy tuck because of my c-section scar I have a wonderful FUPA.

 

[PrettyInInk42]

SO seems alright. Still sore, but he said going up a flight of stairs this afternoon didn't hurt as bad as the same set of stairs first thing in the morning. He was also able to drive without much discomfort. My mom seems to be ok too. She just rested a lot today and even joined us for a trip out for ice cream.
It is what it is in regards to AF. Just gonna keep my FX for this cycle.

Good to hear you're recovering well. I hear you on the fupa. No c-section over here, but 2 kids and years of obesity has messed up my body. Once I'm done BFing my 3rd, I'm gonna get my ass in gear and try to drop some serious weight. Most likely gonna need a tummy tuck and I'd like to see if a breast lift and fat transfer are doable for me. Hoping to have all this done before 40 (I'm 33 now)

 

[DobbyForever]

Pretty glad SO is recovering. That looked quite painful. Hopefully this is your cycle!

Green yes, his name was changed as part of the DVRO 2.5 years ago. I was going to take care of it during spring break, but then the shut down happened. And they would not give me an appointment. Long story short, three appointments later and bugging his doctor to break policy and it's changed with SS. Hope the recovery continued to go well! Sorry that you may need a tummy tuck though. Hopefully that's just the last step on the surgical journey.

Sorry ladies. I'm just absolutely beat. I do read when you post, but I just haven't responded. I'm just absolutely tuckered out at work. I have been waking up 5+ times a night from the stress for the past week. I put my foot down with VI so he peaced out. He did at least write me a 3 paragraph text that was very complimentary, but of course it was midnight before the first day of school. I'm just so done emotionally and physically. My class this year has clearly forgotten how school works. But at least they're good about their masks, I have a good HVAC system, and two air purifiers in the room. So here's hoping we stay ok. I'm getting daily notices of covid in the district from staff positives, but so far nothing at my specific school site. My best friend has already had three staff members test positive at her school.

 

[shaescott]

Hi everyone, sorry I’ve been a bit absent. Things have just been crazy lately and I have very little energy. I’m moving on Tuesday, packing up the uhaul Monday evening, and I still have so much to pack before then… plus I have work for the next two days, both 12 hour shifts, so I only get Monday to finish packing stuff up. There’s also a hurricane coming on Sunday and I’m worried if I’ll be able to drive home after dark with the crazy winds and rain, I’d rather not die, just a personal preference lol. I’m a bit stressed, to say the least Someone asked if we have a roommate, the answer is yes, one of Conner’s friends has the other bedroom, we’re splitting everything 3 ways, rent, utilities, groceries, etc.

Very little chance of pregnancy as usual, I finally ovulated and best chance I got was I didn’t put in the diaphragm right away O-4 or 5, so prec*m definitely got in me, but I put it in far before he finished. So yeah, I highly doubt that will do anything, usually that only causes pregnancy if they have finished recently and were going again, because there’s still sperm in the urethra (I’m pretty sure).
Update: I did some googling and it appears that that is not the case, according to studies men either always have sperm in their prec*m or they never do, and one study found that 41% of men had sperm in theirs, 37% of those samples having a good number of motile sperm. Interesting. I highly doubt I’m pregnant but I guess we’ll see lol