General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[shaescott]

Dobs yeah it’s still high most cycles at 12dpo. Only thing I haven’t noticed yet that usually happens by now if puffy vag like when I check for CM the walls usually feel puffy when AF is on the way, like 1-3 days before I start spotting, and I’m due to start spotting tomorrow. I’ve only had the one night sweats episode a few days ago. But like… a BFN at 12dpo is usually pretty accurate.

 

[shaescott]

Lol nevermind it’s starting to feel puffy now and I thought I saw the tiniest tint in my CM, that’s how it always starts

 

[DobbyForever]

Sending hugs. I know it’s ideal timing but I know you were hoping. I am so excited for when you are pregnant though. Really looking forward to watching you go through that journey

afm phone call was fine. Unhelpful. Basically said all my questions will be answered at the appt on the 22nd. I did tell them about my backache and that my ovary area pain is back, so they did end up doing a scan. Sac is measuring 5w4d, but he was a little loosely with the cursor. Yolk sac. No fetal pole. Said my pain is likely from my ovary being sore since it looks like I ovulated from my left ovary and that’s where the pain is. I was a little annoyed he was running 25m late so he bounced out as did the nurse. No discussion of after care. So I emailed my usual gyn to see if she’s going to order bloods and a repeat in a week or what I should do for the pain because I can’t take advil. I’m assuming she’ll say take Tylenol duh lol. But I like to hear it from a professional.

 

[shaescott]

Currently an emotional wreck. My PMS hormones are getting the best of me. I started crying because I wasn’t pregnant and then SO said he was mad cuz I didn’t ask how he was feeling cuz he went to a funeral Sunday/Monday of someone he knew well, and I’ve been so stressed with work that I forgot, so I started crying that I fucked that up, and then I asked for sex and he said no AGAIN because he was sad, it cheers me up but nope, I get rejected a good 90% of the time, so now he’s asleep and I’m crying because he won’t give me a baby, he won’t give me a ring, he won’t even give me sex, I mean, throw me a bone here! I know I’m overreacting because I’m hormonal and because I got my hopes up about this cycle, but that doesn’t make it any easier. And of course I have work in the morning so I have to sleep and get a grip of myself. It feels like none of it is ever going to happen. And lovely timing, someone I know just had a baby, everyone else is getting engaged or having babies and we’ve been together way longer than nearly all of them and I’ve got neither. So yeah, major pity party going on over here.

Anyway. Dobs, I’m glad you got a scan, sorry it was rushed though. Hopefully that fetal pole will be visible in just a few days.

 

[DobbyForever]

Oh Shae. Big hugs. Hormones suck. I know it’s hard because you’ve been waiting for so long. You’re making moves though. I’d be a little sad for you though. I know you want the baby, but I see all these women talking about the journey of ttc with their partner and it sounds so amazing. I really want that for you, and I feel like you two are so nearly there now. Hugs hugs hugs

afm told TB about the prenatal and he very quickly said he has no intention of going so yeah.

Idk if there will be a follow up. He didn’t run a beta or say anything. He and the nurse just left and I was like wtf sitting there for 15m confused if the appointment was over. I feel really disconnected to the scan today. And that conversation with TB didn’t help. So I’ll hope you have room on the pity party train

 

[WinterBub]

Hi!

I just read a whole lot, so apologies if I miss anything!

Pretty- yay for MWs all set up. And that's sweet that they were so excited for you glad you got your concert ticket, too. My OH has an old ipod in his car, and you can't add music any more (software phased out), so it's stuck in like 2008ish. He has a couple of older Avril Lavigne songs on there I was surprised (he's kind of classic rock generally), but apparently his younger self had a thing for her. Lol. There's also a Hillary Duff song on it, too! Sorry that Matthew had to get tested again. I'm really over some of the excesses, and I think the burden on children (especially small ones) has been too much, and for too long. Rant over! But I hope they stop requiring testing unless a child has clear COVID symptoms or COVID symptoms after known exposure etc. Any news on the gender test/eta for results?

We have a fake tree. My family had real ones growing up, and they're magical. The fun of going to pick it out was great, and the smell of Christmas filled the house for weeks. But then... Yeah, I don't want to deal with that. I also remember having to pick up pine needles, and it being a whole thing to get rid of in Jan. Your tree looks great, Shae!

Dobby- what does quarantining A's daycare room involve? What was the story with the poster, and how old are these kids? That's awful. I feel like society has been broken over the past two years, and I'm not sure it will be repaired any time soon. how do you deal with that sort of thing?

I'm glad you got a scan, although disappointing you didn't see a pole/baby. It seems like we've known about your pregnancy for ages- finding out so early is a blessing and a curse! Sounds like everything is going well I also had a whole lot of Teen Mom thoughts after watching the reunion, and thought of you!

Flueky- that's so interesting that you have the charts! I got nothing to refer back to. Has your fever passed? Glad that you could get through without having to see patients. And fingers crossed the mandate stuff goes ok. When's the final date? Great that you got to buy some new clothes did you get anything in particular that you really liked? I need to buy some stuff for myself at some point. And great job on seeing changes in your body. I've lost 5lb, but now largely seem stalled out. I feel less flabby too, which is nice. Ideally would like to lose like 15-18 more. But would be happy with 5-8 in the short term.

So sorry, Shae. I know it must be so hard to have everything all set up, and feel ready for that next step but not have it happen. You also have it harder than I did at your age as you have the set up, and I didn't, so the yearning must be a lot sometimes. I still yearned for marriage and babies, but knew it wasn't happening iykwim? (I'm guessing you're mid 20s?) I had a serious relationship that ended poorly (we lived together and he basically had set up a new place for himself and then dumped me... Brutal!) and felt like marriage and kids was never going to happen when that all was going on. Then I met my OH, and was so pleased that the other relationship didn't make it. Clearly, would've been a disaster to have a family with him! My rambling is meant to say... It will happen. Easy for me to say, and so hard to not be able to make it happen. But it will all work out. Is it worth having a talk with OH about what you're both expecting? What timeline does he have? I know it feels crappy to feel powerless. Big hugs, and commiserations, internet friend.

AFM- nothing new. Still waiting on test results, which is getting a bit ridiculous. A friend of OH's just texted him and he had a severe issue after his booster. Seemingly he has Bells Palsy. His work mandated the vaccine (not the booster, though), so hopefully they are good about time off and him recovering. Not sure how long that will likely take. Have speech assessment for LO on Friday. Interested to hear what they say. I think he's close to a year behind where he should be. Understands really well, and actually has a good vocab... It's just nobody but us understand him he also reverts to pure gibberish with strangers so... We'll see what they say.

 

[WinterBub]

Sorry about the mixed feelings on the scan, Dobby. I hate that OBs can be like that and just rush out. I get that they have lots of patients, but dang- make me feel important for my 5-10 minutes! Not long to wait for the next scan, and hopefully you will see more and feel more reassured then. Early pregnancy is hard.... So much wondering and waiting! And sorry TB wasn't more interested. It's all still probably a shock for him. I think it sounds good that he's clearly communicative etc, so just keep it easy for now and hopefully he will come around. Difficult to do in reality, but I'd think no pressure for anything right now is the way to go. Just my two cents! If it's any consolation: I'm excited you had a scan and things looked good!

 

[shaescott]

Dobs sorry about his reaction. Prayers that all is well with your little baby in there.

Winter we don’t have a timeline, I gave him one years ago that he agreed to and we passed that, so idk. Sorry about that friend and the reaction. Also that’s rough about the speech eval, I hope things go well and they can get your little one up to speed.

Honestly I feel like it’ll be years before SO actually agrees to TTC. It still feels so out of reach even though we have our own place together and real jobs now. He doesn’t feel financially secure, which like, we don’t have a TON extra, but we had enough extra for me to buy a kitchen aid mixer and spend $300 on Christmas tree + decorations for it, plus go out to eat far more often than is smart, and I still have plenty left for rent and more without him contributing a penny to rent. All of that came from my account, not his, and I have money left over. Clearly we’re okay. But he grew up with less money than I did, not poor by any means, but lower middle class, whereas I was upper middle class. So my attitude about money is VERY different from his. He doesn’t want to propose yet because he’s worried about expenses and not having enough if he buys a ring. He doesn’t want to get me a cheap one because while he hates spending money, he’d rather spend a more on something that will last a long time. So yeah, he says it’s gonna be a good few months at minimum. Lovely.

I’m currently sitting in the tub letting my body calm tf down in this hot water. It’s definitely helping. I also took some melatonin, I think it’s working a bit, though it may just be the relaxation from the water.

 

[Flueky88]

Shae so sorry you are having a rough time. It is hard when your body, mind, and heart yearns for a baby but your partner isn't ready. I think that maybe when you are both in a better mindset it may be good to talk about your expectations and feelings.

Also your tree looks lovely!!

Dobby so sorry that bedside manners were lacking. I hope you get some more answers soon. Also, sad that TB doesn't want to be involved at this point.

Pretty awww so sorry he had to go through being tested. V has been once and she hated it. I can't imagine multiple times.

Yay for SP finally arriving!! Hope you find out by the weekend also yay on the same MW team! It is always nice when it is someone you know and like.

Winter, yes fever is finally gone. As far as the mandate, it is currently suspended. There is a federal lawsuit and if the outcome is that the mandate is unlawful then my company will not enforce a mandate. So FX. Our system does encourage vaccination for sure but understands the negative effects on patient care if a mandate is enforced. I am feeling much more optimistic and hope that I'll get the courage to speak to DH soon about possibly being a surrogate later.

I ended up buying a pair of jeans, black dress pants, 2 dressy tops, and a camisole. I really love all of it It is soon nice to wear something that's not leggings, maternity, or nursing friendly. Congrats on the weight loss to you to. Ideally, I'd like to lose around 44 lbs. I'm just trying to view short goals instead of a giant one.

 

[WinterBub]

Your shopping sounds great, Flueky! Nice to feel like you look good I wear leggings basically all the time, and definitely should rectify that! Lol.

Hope the soak helped you relax, Shae. I totally get the frustration and feeling of powerlessness. I think Flueky has good advice- committing to a timeline seemingly didn't work, but perhaps a simple open and honest chat would be the way to go. In the short term- hope you wake up feeling better tomorrow. You've got so much going for you, and you'll have the family you want, I absolutely know it.

 

[shaescott]

Doing better today. 13dpo and pink spotting this morning, right on schedule. Is what it is.

 

[DobbyForever]

Winter haha exactly. My cousin just posted about this, and I’m like hey if it’s not my money, my energy, or my house… real tree all the way.

Re quarantine: If a staff or student in a room tests positive then the whole room is closed for 10 days. And because the policy is to keep the kids isolated by pods/rooms, there’s no backup. One year, they closed for two weeks to fix a mold issue so we were able to temporarily be transferred to another KinderCare (there’s three in my town). But this time it’s just tough poop, you have to stay home. And without a partner and my mom has already exhausted her sick leave this year from having shingles, I’m on the hook to be off work for ten days. Which is ten less sick days I have to cover maternity leave. So basically if we quarantine not only does it suck to be home in general, that’s days I have to cut my maternity leave shorter. So far there is definitely a cold running through the room, but nobody is reporting any covid exposure from over the break. FXed.

Re the changes in the climate. Honestly? I’ve adopted a “not my monkeys not my circus” mentality. There’s a lot o mental disassociation happening as well. I’m basically checked out. I’m doing bare minimum work wise. I used to grade and catch up over breaks/weekends, not anymore. I just worked through lunch the last three days to catch up on tests from literally early November. I don’t even teach in small groups anymore because I don’t have the energy to teach whole group then run my usual intervention. And the house is a mess. But I just deaf

LOL I watched the reunion, too! I know they save all the drama for part 2 but I was pretty checked out. Plus I don’t watch the new 16 and pregnant and it felt weird seeing them/ the whole let’s have the old moms basically give therapy to the new moms. I get it and definitely they’re great role models from what I see on tv. But weird dynamics lol

Re the booster Oh no! I’m so sorry! My brother was saying that his friend’s mom went through the same thing. It’s why my mom delayed getting her booster until now. Luckily it only lasted like a few days to a week. Still so scary.

Hope the speech assessment goes well! And yikes about the tests taking so long.

Sorry I G2G just looked at the clock

 

[Flueky88]

Winter I forgot to sat that I hope LOs speech eval goes well. Also, did you ever receive the rest of your test results?

Nothing wrong with leggings but I do like wearing other bottoms too. I can't wear jeans or leggings when I go to the office. Well can wear leggings if wearing a dress to cover your butt and upper thighs.

Shae I'm glad you are feeling a bit better. I'm sorry still

Dobby, oh man. Hope you don't have to waste any maternity leave days. It's hard enough with what little time we receive.

 

[DobbyForever]

Gotta run again but just had to say I live in jeggings from Kohl’s lol

 

[DobbyForever]

I do owe you all actual posts and hoping I’ll be able to do it tomorrow. A’s ABA cancelled his session claiming he was coughing with a runny nose with green mucus. But the school never said come get him and at pickup they said they watched him like a Hawk all day but he only coughed a couple of times/didn’t have a runny nose. But they sent home some kids so maybe she was uncomfortable with the other sick kids. Idk

had to erase four chalk penises today and my students orchestrated a second fake fight today

 

[Flueky88]

Dobby sorry it was canceled and especially because he wasn't having the symptoms they gave for canceling. Alos, really don't know how teachers do it. So thankful for people that have that calling!

AFM went to the local"ish" theme park. Girls had a great time. Decided to upgrade our tickets to season pass and we are going again today. Poor E is not amused with rides yet. The carousel freaked her out a bit. She was holding on for dear life and her eyes were big. She didn't cry but she definitely didn't care for it. We also tried a ride with her that's like the tea cups at Disney. She wasn't too crazy about us spinning it more than it already does. Although she was starting to get hungry too and she is a very hangry baby.

 

[DobbyForever]

Flueky that’s awesome that the mandate is suspended. Keeping my FXed for you all. Hope the talk goes well when you do have it. Short goals are def the way to go. Sounds like a great shopping haul!

Aww sorry E isn’t quite into the whole theme park just yet. Sounds like a fun spot though! Hopefully she grow into it. That’s a greta holiday photo though! Speaking of, I love your profile photo! Not sure how long it’s been that photo because I don’t notice things LOL but it’s so cute!

Re teaching: I don’t know how good I’m doing but I didn’t yell at anybody today and everyone passed their math test LOL so that’s something. It is what it is. It sounds like maybe some other kids were super sick in the room and got sent home, and I get it. Annoying but also I don’t want anybody feeling forced to be there if they feel unsafe. But that’s also something that I told them like it’s a daycare setting so you need to be comfortable with that. Especially in this current climate.

Shae glad the soaked helped. Biggest hugs.

Pretty thinking of you! Hoping those results come in soon.

AFM my usual gyn doubled down on my scan being fine. And then she said it’s fine that i get lightheaded when I give A his asthma medication (it’s via nebulizer so I end up breathing some in myself). So I guess everything is just FINE. Lol. I’m not loving the pregnancy migraine though. If it gets any worse than this, idk what I’m going to do. I keep holding my head at work and it’s like the weaker I appear, the worse behaved my class is. Usually it’s the opposite.

 

[DobbyForever]

I’m low key glad my mom and I got in a fight this past weekend. I was so upset that I didn’t end up going to my friend’s birthday. I was planning to go early and go hiking with her and two friends (masked and distanced) then leave before the crowd showed. She was feeling super sick the last couple of days, and last night tested positive for covid. She’s not vaxxed, so I’m worried about her. But so far sounds like she’ll be alright. I’d assume she caught it either from her neighbors thanksgiving party (they had a potluck with no masks) or her birthday (no masks because neither of her pregnant friends were there). My weekly Monday test was negative. It was about 9 days after I saw her, and we both were masked the whole time. A is sick today and I did give him his steroids yesterday because he was wheezing. There’s rsv in one of the other classrooms. So I’m hoping it’s just that. We’ve got a snotcet for a nose, but it’s all just clear boogies. He’s a little warm (99.1) but he’s literally over here jumping on the couch haha.

 

[DobbyForever]

Update got nervous because I did end up doing another round of A’s asthma meds/he’s coughing. Did an at home test. Both negative. Though I didn’t really get a good swab of his nose. He was so sad I couldn’t bring myself to manhandle him

 

[DobbyForever]

Trying not to stress but my tests are noticeably lighter the last two days. Ironically I was going to stop testing today. I’m still gonna stop. I do still have my heightened sense of smell, all nausea, and migraines. But I noticed I’m not bloating as much and the feeling of engorgement is gone. I know symptoms come and go. I’m not cramping or bleeding. Idk. An after hours gyn is supposed to call me in a couple of hours.