General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[Flueky88]

Winter thank you. I'm doing well, just staying busy with life. Our health system as a whole has people that are unvaccinated and no exemptions approved. Not sure how many as the pdf included those with approved exemptions and I don't have the time to count all of them. I'm hoping for the best though right now.

Also, you can order 4 free at home covid tests per household. So you could always do a test and not worry about trying to find some available to purchase.

If you suspect DR, I would see a PT at the very least postpartum. If you end up with pain during your pregnancy go see them as well. While it didn't go away completely, she did help me manage my pain in my back, hips, and pelvis during my pregnancy. I also have to be pretty bad off to take meds during pregnancy so I avoided even Tylenol if I could manage without. I took it a few times, mainly for headaches. In any case, just because something is common doesn't mean it's normal. So don't be afraid to take care of yourself

Dobby, hmmmm. Well I wouldn't blame you for wanting to see documents. I think with as much trauma as you've been through, it's understandable to have your guard up. I'm also tend to lean towards trusting your initial instincts though.

Also, so glad that you'll get things paid off and have some leftover once you get your refund! I haven't received my w2 yet nor has DH. Actually we have received 0 tax documents for 2021.

Gigs well I'm definitely interested to see how this cycle pans out living vicariously though the ladies here lol

Shae we thought about getting a married at a state park. We ended up using my father in law's property though so we wouldn't have to pay or worry about having limited time to decorate, celebrate, clean up. Our wedding was beautiful just have to have a back up plan in case of bad weather.


AFM just going to put my 2 cents in. I identify as Christian but I don't go to church. I believe in Jesus, God, etc. but I don't follow that I have to go to church to go to heaven. I try to be a good person. I wish I remembered to pray more often and read my Bible.

As for the "weed moms". I know there is a group on WTE called "ganja moms". I do not think you should use while pregnant unless under a practioner's orders/supervision. I think it can be useful in some circumstances but should be avoided if possible. I don't use and only tried 1x in my life. I saw how "intelligent" it made one of my brother's friends and decided that I didn't want that. It's illegal in my state and it'll probably be that way for a long time. I don't really have issue with others using it in general though.

My O seems to be later this cycle and am wondering if it's from being sick at the start of my cycle. My at home test was negative but maybe I had the virus?

Well I better get back to work

 

[DobbyForever]

My kids are on autonomous pe so post and run. I mean I like him. I’m not obsessed with him. But I like him. My gif says give him a chance but keep an eye open. I don’t feel like he’s lying, I just have an overactive imagination and think everyone is full of s*. I do think he is vague intentionally, as I do when I talk about A’s dad. My only concern with this situation is do I really fit in his fancy tech world and obviously two marriages didn’t work out. And he sounded genuine saddened by that, so like are you the reason they didn’t with work out? Are you marrying people before you really know them? I’m not trying to be divorce number 3. Lol. But he’s the only guy that I’ve given my number to and would go out with. He’s so intelligent and involved in his daughters’s life and that’s super sexy to me. And he’s so polite. But trauma is trauma

 

[gigglebox]

I’m two minds about it Dobs. On one hand he os good to his kid (also any kid friend potential there?), but yeah, 2 divorces….how old is this guy two have two marriages under his belt? And are y’all texting or have you met up? I’m not sure what to say except…good luck to you!

Winter would testing positive change anything? If not I wouldn’t bother. Although if you did, the dr may want to push your appointment back…food for thought.

also remind me which kid this one will be? I keep forgetting since you don’t have a signature to remind my sad memory also look into effects of the snip on men. My hubby is vehemently opposed for himself because he read it lowers testosterone but i’ve never researched it. Our plan, should we have another, is for me to get my tubes tied during a c section. We would have done it last time but we weren’t ready to commit to no more at that point. Good thing I guess! I still fear changing my mind in the future but I honestly don’t want kids past 35, well now possibly 36. Even 36 makes me apprehensive but that’s likely what I’ll be looking at…we’ll see.

flueky!!! Hi! I’m 100% with you on weed in general. I am all for freedom of choice for all, in most cases, as long as you aren’t hurting anybody or infringing on anyone else’s freedoms, go for the gold. And lol living vicariously; that’s me for now…any further thoughts on the surrogacy idea? Are you set on it and hoping hubby says yes or more kicking around the idea?

 

[gigglebox]

And look at shae getting all wise in her old years she makes valid points though…

shae if my mom’s friend can get ordained and marry us I’m sure your pastor could if he isn’t already, if that’s what you want.

 

[gigglebox]

it's hilarious how quickly I have gone from "on the fence" to "researching gender swaying and starting my new diet today", lmao!! I'm all in ladies. Now just gotta convince the hubs. I want my little girl. The only, kind of major, problem is...if I do get pregnant, and I have another boy, I think I'm in for some major gender disappointment. But I feel like I have to give it a try. I think hubby really wants a daughter, too. He mentioned it when we were discussing it the other night.

I'm sorry y'all I'll shut up about it for now lol

 

[WinterBub]

I feel like it's hard for us to gauge without meeting him, dobby. I'd just say to tread carefully. Im generally on team "give people a chance", but I hate that women are taught to "be nice", often to our detriment. So, in that line of thinking: I 100% agree with Shae's advice not to talk yourself into anything. We have instincts for a reason!

Woooooooo, giggle! How exciting. It does seem like your OH will not be too hard to get to go all in. I really hope you get your girl, but remember that we're never guaranteed anything! We didn't sway, but I'd considered trying it. Got pregnant before I had a chance to really think about it All I saw was the BD a few days before you O, and trying magnesium supplements. IIRC Pretty did the timing thing(?)

This is just my second. I had thought we'd still have a chance of another after this, but I don't think I want to try again. Just hoping and praying for a healthy baby this time. I love that you're going for #4- go for the big family! Elon Musk is very worried about population decline you're doing your part!

I'm feeling better, and figured that I will save the tests unless I get a fever, or true respiratory symptoms. I've just felt off, and woke up feeling sick in the middle of the night, which usually means I'm actually sick. We know so many people with covid right now- from work, friends, family out of state, neighbors. It does seem like this strain going around here is really mild- nobody has had to see a dr, let alone consider hospital. FIL recovered well, so that's reassuring, as he has some health issues. Hopefully the antibodies are useful for him going forward.

I hope things at work turn out ok, Flueky. I really see why people are leaving healthcare in droves. Seems like you get a lot of abuse from all sides for working in a really difficult and vital industry it makes no sense. Please know that you're appreciated! you too, Shae!

 

[DobbyForever]

Still “teaching” they are doing an automated computer test lol gigs DO NOT shut up please I am 100% here for this!

 

[WinterBub]

Lol at "teaching", Dobby I feel like in some ways you have it easier than teachers in the past because you get to do stuff like this... But on the other hand, I would absolutely hate to have to email parents, and deal with all that side of things! I feel like my elementary teachers had it just right: no internet, no parent emails, but they had Mavis Beacon to park us at

 

[gigglebox]

ok what is Mavis Beacon?

 

[tdog]

Oh wow I have a lot to catch up on hope everyone good so I've even plodding on so to speak we are currently house hunting as our landlord lives at the bottom of the garden I'm feeling very uncomfortable being there now and finding a house is let's say p**sing me off now xx.

Shae about the ring how amazing.

Dobs please please please be careful I would hate to think you've put yourself in danger

Gigs im the same feeling very broodie it needs to stop determined I'm done that's it no more I've heard that about testosterone with the ship

Sorry if I've missed everyone xx

 

[gigglebox]

Pretty if you swayed pink, PLEASE tell me your secrets!

hi tdog! oh no house hunting! moving is the worst, so sorry you have to go through that!

 

[WinterBub]

I thought everyone did Mavis Beacon back in the day it was a game/program that was meant to teach you how to type. So, it had little exercises/games where you had to copy text correctly in a certain time to pass a level.

Joke is on my teachers, because I can type really fast, but I never used the right finger positions, and still don't.

This is what I remember:

 

[DobbyForever]

Winter omg that’s so sweet that he’s worried about you not being as attracted to him post vasectomy. Always time to figure it out, no decisions have to be made right this second. I have to say, I am still envious of Fluek’s o fueled drive with no risk sex. I second Shae, idk that it’s worth using the test. But I do hope you’re feeling better now.

Re the paperwork, I’m just from a family of lawyers. Even if it was jus the one divorce, I’d ask for papers. It is also my own trauma because I dated a guy who lied about being separated, and his wife basically stalked and threatened me. I ended up getting a civil restraining order against her and a ten year criminal restraining order against him after he threw me into a wall and threw my phone on the roof so I couldn’t call the cops for help. So I just have no faith in taking people at their word anymore when it involves divorce, especially since there isn’t a final judgement.

Shae I agree I think just about anybody can get ordained or is that just something they do on tv for laughs lol. I agree lots of fun options for marriage. Anything from churches to parks to homes. Destination?! I was going to get married at Turtle Bay Resort (because who doesn’t love “Forgetting Sarah Marshall”) and they had a really affordable wedding package and hotel rates. Plus, luau for a reception! Sign me up. But I was only planning to keep the wedding at about 25 people. I know the engagement comes first, but I’m sure you’ve thought about some details. Are you thinking big or small?

Re: My honest first instincts is this seems like a really great guy, and I’d regret not giving him a chance. It’s my trauma that has me flipping the eff out. Honestly, he’s handled my mini freak outs really well and really respectfully. But my trauma has me freaked out that his ability to navigate my trauma means he must be a manipulative narcissist like my ex. It’s not possible for him to just be a mature, nice guy. My first instinct is he must be a nice guy because I’m not like drop my pants in lust for him LOL. That was the first thing I said to my bff.

Fluek also hoping for the best re staffing and mandate. Yes! Good call. I just ordered mine the other day because a coworker sent out the link. Sorry about the delayed cycle. I’ve had bad colds right before O pre covid that pushed mine out a few days to a week.

Gigs, it sounds like he’s had her several times after work this week. I don’t know their custody agreement other than they share it so he doesn’t have her full time. He’s made a few comments about my being a mom that make it clear that he understands what it’s like to have a toddler. He had linked his spotify to his profile, and it lists the artists the account listens to the most. And a couple of them were obviously from his daughter because A listens to the same one. We talked a little bit about which Disney movies they like because I said how I couldn’t take A whale watching for fear he’d jump off the boat yelling cheehoo, and he immediately recognized it as Maui from Moana. I had said something about having an almost 5 year old and I think his response was “I think that’s amazing that you have a newly minted 5 year old, congrats! That’s so cool.” He’s 47, so he’s got baby brain for reals. His first divorce would have been when he was 30/31. I don’t know how long this one was. His was done-done when he was 42/43 after 6 years of marriage. There were five years between first divorce and second marriage. If I had to guess (because I’ve been so correct this far LOL) is that she didn’t want to have kids. I haven’t asked how the friend ended up pregnant or how they decided to have the kid. We’ve just sent audio messages mostly vs text because our texts are too long and we’re both busy. So we’ll leave each other 3-5 minute messages throughout the day. He says he wants to go out, but he hasn’t actually properly asked. He did mentioned he has to go to the NY hq next week though.

Tdog I def don’t get danger vibes from him.

Sorry just saw the clock and I’m late to get A ahhh

 

[tdog]

Dobs still I'm a big worrier even for people I've never met I mean we don't no each other but I'm a nervous wreck just please be careful love xx

Gigs we swayed pink with Heidi paul thought she would be a boy and all the stuff we did wouldn't work and eell hello she is a she and a fisty one at that xx

 

[gigglebox]

Winter that does look vaguely familiar. We did have a typing program but I can’t remember if it was that one. I learned a life lesson in that class…i was “cheating” by doing the hunt & peck for typing instead of the home keys. My teacher caught me. He said something like, “no one will know or care if you’re cheating, but you will be cheating yourself.” I think he went on to say how i could continue to cheat and get nothing out of the lessons, or at least try and maybe learn a skill. If he didn’t say it, that’s what I took from it anyway and it’s stuck with me. After that moment I actually tried, and I grew to really enjoy typing. I’m fairly fast now, 75-80 wmp which i think is respectable. Only when i try though. My casual typing is probably 65-70. Half that on a phone lol

Tdog what did you do to sway pink?

Dobs do you think he’s waiting for you to set up the date? Ugh that’s so scary about your ex. Glad you came out of it ok all things considered

 

[Flueky88]

Gigs, kind of waiting to see how things pan out with work, and also now that I'm getting in shape I'm honestly not sure I want to go through all the gaining, losing, building muscles back. I am also nervous about how DH might react. His foot is giving him a lot of pain so focusing on getting him better.

You can talk about it all you want here. It is exciting to think/talk about. Also, I believe pretty timed BD towards the beginning of her fertile window and avoided BD close to O. I'll wish all my girly vibes to you too.

Also, funny story. My DH researched vasectomy after he tried denying my 1st faint bfp with dd3. I gave him space and then I went to talk to him and he told me that's what he was doing

Winter, thank you. I'm not front line and those workers really have my utmost respect. I seriously am not sure I could endure all that they have. Working in audit can definitely make you....."the enemy", workers can feel like you are questioning their abilities or just get fed up.

Interesting, never had that computer program. I can't remember what we used to be honest.

Tdog oh man. Best of luck house hunting. Not sure how the market is there but it's been crazy in my area. My house was under contract before it was listed online

Dobby, thanks. Oh I hope you weren't too late to get A.

Well I hope the best for you whichever choice you make. Hoping that if you do go out with him, that he is a genuinely good guy.


AFM got an email from my boss. I'm just going to help out managers do some audits they normally do since all but one of the four are seeing patient's everyday. I prefer to help out in a non clinical capacity. I'm super slow at home visits and with my van being on a lease I have limited miles. I could easily wrack up 100+ miles seeing 5 or 6 people in my county.

 

[gigglebox]

Fluek what do you have to do for audits? I haven’t looked at pur market recently but I should. Things don’t stay on long and prices are pretty high. We were considering moving but not so much anymore, at least not right now. I love where we live but i wish our house were a tad larger, like just an extra bedroom. We have a room in the basement I think we’ll end up converting to a legal bedroom by putting in an egress window, eventually. I’m guessing ds1 will eventually want his own space, and that’s where he’d have to go.

 

[WinterBub]

Not being frontline doesn't mean your job isn't important, flueky. I know what you mean about the frontline taking on extra, but you're part of delivering a much needed service. Sorry that you get seen as a narc sometimes and thank you for the earlier advice to take care of myself, too. I think it's a Mom thing to say "I'll do X for myself when I get such and such done first". But we should look after ourselves, too. Appreciate that reminder

Lol at your vasectomy, story that's so something I can picture my OH doing. Did your OH feel like anything was different after the fact? Or it was done and then once healed he'd never know the difference? I don't want to get my tubes tied, but would consider a copper IUD if he really ended up not wanting the V. I can't believe that I'd potentially be fertile for another decadeish.

I've spent pretty much all day resting, and feel much better. Very much doubt it is covid. But I was suspicious this morning as I was feeling kind of achey and what not. Dobby- I was watching a series of Teen Mom earlier that's from 2017ish. I hadn't seen it when it aired, and it is really interesting to watch the old stuff. This series is when Catelynn keeps going to treatment centers and Tyler is left with Nova. I'd seen the next series where things are kind of strained between them, and now I kind of get the backstory. they also just introduced Cheyenne- she looks so young!!

Let us know how things go with the guy, Dobby. It does sound like you have things in common with the kids, and the life phase you're in. Hopefully he's a good guy who has just been unlucky in love. Just take things slow, and don't jump into bed! Have you ever seen The Millionaire Matchmaker? It's not one of "my shows", but I've seen it. I keep hearing that lady in my head- "no sex before monogamy!"

We thought about moving last year, but couldn't stomach/afford the cost of it. We added a wall to a room that made a sitting room into a potential office/bedroom. That gives us some room to grow. Our house isn't perfect (especially the layout), but I think it will work for us for the next few years.

 

[tdog]

Hey @gigglebox sorry finally managed to nod off lol, so what we did was concive plus (weather that worked) no hot hot showers or baths for him, no deep penetration as deep penetration give male sperm chance to get to egg as they fast swimmers and females are slow swimmer lol, no hot drinks either for a while before bed tbh there the main things I can think of lol xx

 

[gigglebox]

hmm well all I can say is....do research on whatever bc you choose. I'm of the opinion that none of it seems to be very good for you but I understand people do require something! Good luck on making the decision. I'm having a hard time already thinking of getting my tubes tied but I think if we have a 4th that will be the right choice for us. It's hard for me to give up my fertility like that but we have a lot of reasons we can't do anything else (hormonal bc doesn't work on me, I can't have any IUD's because my uterus is weird shaped, hubby get reactions to condoms, and he is not OK with the possible side effects of the snip, nor do I want him to have that done if I'm already going to be filleted again anyway lol).

Dobby, if it's not too hard to talk about, could you tell me how you got pregnant with Setsuna? I gather is was a pull out fail but what were the specifics of what happened? I was just searching through old forum posts on here (out of boredom) and actually happened across one where you had a "maybe" pullout oopsie a month before your pregnancy. Was that the same guy? Sorry to rehash wounds, I just wasn't around when everything went down and can't find it going back in this thread. And I guess I"m a curious creature...!