General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[gigglebox]

Ok y’all…i feel creepy coming on here to report my sexual encounter but here we are

Dtd earlier with hubs, and though he didn’t finish inside, he did have the sloppiest pull out he’s had since we’ve been together. Barely made it, and got his goods all over the opening to my vag. He’s never done that before, he knows I want to ttc, so I think this performance was a direct reflection of his thoughts on the matter — on the fence. Not all in, but not all out either

it doesn’t mean a whole lot though as I have no idea when I’ll ov. It’s coming but it could be, like, 5 days away, so with that length of time and how little the deposit of goods was (versus if he just stayed in), I’m not holding my breath. But it does give me hope and I do love hope!

 

[DobbyForever]

Sorry busy day but Gigs ooo interesting I was going to say he’s so good with his technique. Definitely intriguing

the tldr I got off the pill because I started playing with the idea of getting a donor. And since I love playing with fire, I kept sleeping with my two NSA guys. Virginia opted for pullout, poorly The Boy (we dated a month before he owned up to commitment issues) continued to just go for it. You can 100% judge me, but these guys like idk if they can sense your pheromones through text but yeah. They always hmu the same weekend, usually around O. Setsuna though I had the sense to cancel on VI as my opk was blazing. Figured I was fine to keep my plans with TB on O+1. Ironically, the sex wasn’t good because I stopped having feelings for him and we stopped hanging out before and after sex. So I was thinking that I was going to stop sleeping with him/VI and really start focusing on getting ready to get a donor. And then immediately after I remembered Flueky got pregnant O+1 and was like I’m probably pregnant

will read and respond to everyone else when it’s not 1am

 

[gigglebox]

Got cha dobs, funny how we just “know” when things may have gone wrong, lol. Did you test before af was due or because of symptoms? Also have you talked to him since the last text? And is this the same “the boy” from a couple years ago?

also are you still kicking around the donor idea?

 

[DobbyForever]

Sorry on my phone so short responses are easy. Will get caught up when I get home

yes same guy and yeah honestly I think every time I got pregnant I had a gut feeling that day/next day. But I’ve had it and been wrong LOL

no when I started to feel that doom set in, it really forced me to evaluate my life. I think she was meant to show me that A- I deserve better but B- I only want another baby if I have a committed and trustworthy partner. It hurts so much to have lost her, but there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t see the collateral beauty of it. I ended up texting him to tell him I mmc-ed, and he just said thanks for telling him and he’s sorry I went through that and he hopes that I’m able to recover and make sure I take care of myself. VI texted me at 1am are you awake and I figure it was after 12:30 so it’s for the dirty. I just ignored him lol

 

[shaescott]

Gigs oooooooo that messy pullout I hope it turns into something!

My body is being very weird to me. Ever since like O-2 through now, my boobs have been hurting, I swear they’ve gotten bigger, and last night I started spotting. I’m 4dpo today, wtf is up with that? My temp also had a very slow rise post-O and then today suddenly shot up to 98. Weird. I’m not normally at 98 until at least 7dpo if not later. But I also took forever to get to 98 last time so who the heck knows. Only chance I have is that on O day, SO pulled out and after wiping up and all, a little of his precum got on my vagina. Such a small amount though so probably won’t do anything. I don’t want to get my hopes up. I still have those test pics of the maybe indent line on my phone, I just can’t get myself to delete them. I was so excited in that moment.

Unfortunately, SO is leaning hard against TTC right now, he said this morning that we should stop doing pullout and start using condoms because it’s too risky. I said it’s been working for 3 months now, but he wasn’t convinced. So yeah, why not shatter my heart into a billion pieces babe. Then he got up and made me coffee, probably so I wouldn’t be all upset lol.

 

[gigglebox]

Aww shae I’m sorry he isn’t up for the risky-ish bd anymore but like a proper gent maybe he truly wants to wait until you two are married. You remind me a lot of me when I was around 22; I loved my boyfriend (now hubby) and was excited to get married but honestly i think the desire to have babies was more to me than that of just getting married. I knew marriage was the green light to unprotected bd. And then maybe babies. I have had a strong desire for babies since I was in my late teens, before I met hubby. Actually I dated a chick before hubby; we lived together and went to college together. We actually had a legit fight over which one of us would get to be pregnant first. I even had the crazy fantasy of getting knocked up by a rando college guy, not that I ever would! All that to say…the wait was worth it, and baby making sex, when you’re both on board, is legit the best sex ever. I know you want that baby but imagine how awesome it will be when he’s giving it his all to try and knock you up, and how much sweeter it will be when you tell him and you both get excited, instead of you excited and him fearful.

just some food for thought

 

[gigglebox]

Dobs that sounds like an OK response from TB. At least he had something nice to say. It’s pretty funny how these guys seem to contact you all at the same time! I love your silver lining of your little girl’s purpose. I absolutely believe something good comes from all tragedy, eventually. I am so happy that despite the trauma of the experience, you are able to take something positive away from it.

afm on a completely unrelated topic, I lost 3.5lbs this week! This is my first week fully giving my diet my all and throwing some light exercise in. I am hoping if I don’t get pregnant I am able to continue with weight loss. Or maybe both

 

[DobbyForever]

Oh Shae no. I’m so sorry. I was worried he might ask to switch to condoms, and I was hoping since it hadn’t come up then maybe he wouldn’t. I’m sorry. I do agree I think because he’s planning to propose, he wants to be sure the engagement and wedding go off without a slip. Which is truly so sweet in a way but I know it means less hold for a happy accident. So FXed any chance you can focus the ttc energy into wedding planning?

gigs wooot on the weight loss!!! That’s awesome. You must have sent it over here

yeah I have some great hype music and really refocusing on myself. I do believe that there’s always a lesson and I feel a lot better now that I feel like I know what it was. And seriously lol I get a kick out of it but like of all weekends why is it always fertile weekend

 

[Flueky88]

Dobby ugh, that is crazy that they have spider senses about fertile time. I'm sure it makes it harder to practice self restraint when our damn hormones and ovaries scream BD! I'm glad you are focusing on yourself

I'm glad that TB responded decently and good for you on ignoring VI as I'm sure you are right about it just being a booty call.

Gigs congrats on the weight loss and hoping that DH decides not to pull out when you hit that fertile window

I'm checking to make sure orders match, accurate, no contradictions. Like "oh you said they get short of breath with minimal exertion but they can safely bathe themselves?". But not so sarcastically lol. Really my main part of my job is actually sending records audits to insurance companies and if they try to deny payment, then I try to appeal their decision. Sometime I can and sometimes I can't. Medicare will deny based of some things that are really mostly out of our control (has to do with MD documentation).

Shae I'm sorry he is wanting to switch to condoms which puts a low chance on surprise pregnancies. When he us ready to ttc it will really be great though when you do get that bfp


Winter thank you. I really appreciate it. As for DHs vasectomy. He had it when I was like 2 weeks pp, so my memory is a bit fuzzy. I know he couldn't have sex for a week or so. I think the first couple times he had a little pain when he finished but he doesn't have issues now. He did worry I'd think he was less of a man, but I assured him that's not the case. If your OH considers a vasectomy, I'd research the different Dr's that perform them and find a good fit for you guys.

 

[DobbyForever]

Omg Flueky I laughed way too hard reading that

 

[gigglebox]

Fluek that sounds similar to a line of work I used to be in — workers comp. Fortunately I was a receptionist there and later a clinic coordinator, where I would set up clinics for doctors to do IME’s (independent medical exams) for claims, then make sure the patients showed up. I’ve definitely read my fair share of medical files and seen fun ones where the insurance companies hire PI’s on patients suspected of lying. Omg sooo good sometimes! I hate people who abuse systems like this so it brings me joy when they get caught. Like a guy who claimed he had severe back pain issues; he would hobble in and out of his car at the doctors office, but once he left his gait was normal and he was caught loading heavy things into his car, getting groceries no problem, etc. so glad I never had to deal with patients. Imagine their response when benefits get cut and they find out they were caught in a lie. God bless claims adjusters lol

 

[gigglebox]

Sexcapade report:
Bd’ed, he pulled out no problem, then we had round two, no bathroom in between…ov pains getting stronger, i suspect I’m about 2 days away or so, which will put me 0-3 with sloppy pull out and o-2 with tonight’s fun time. I’m officially throwing my hat in the ring with a chance, albeit a small one

 

[Flueky88]

Gigs lol. I do send of records requests to worker comp claims. Our medical records person was put on furlough at beginning of pandemic and I assumed part of her duties. I'm a bit of a jack of all trades. I get request from lawyers , disability determination services, etc. We do sometimes have to discharge people because insurance or workers comp refuse to pay for more services. Sometimes the patient will appeal and then I'm the one sending the records. Humana is the insurance that is the worst about deciding our services aren't needed any more. They are super picky on documentation.

Oh how exciting about being in with a chance. Now....with the BD that was 2x in a row...did he withdraw on the last one? (You can choose not to answer lol) Either way you definitely have a shot as he could have had swimmers in precum.

 

[DobbyForever]

Switching to my computer if A will let me. Bittersweet. The line is officially so light that Premom is reading 0. So I’ll be negative soon enough. I feel at peace with it, I’m sad but I expected to be more devastated. But ask me again when the line is gone gone

 

[gigglebox]

Dobs

fluek, fun stuff! I’ll have to consult you if we ever switch back to “real” insurance, haha. Right now we have medi-share. I’m happy with them so far but haven’t had to have any medical treatment yet. We used to have liberty healthshare. AWFUL company.

to answer your question, we have a pretty active sex life for being married almost 11 years and having three kids…round 2’s for us are usually a game for him to see how many times he can make me O unfortunately for whatever reason his bits were not up for the task and after a few good minutes, just started to fade not typical but does happen every now and again. I think it was just late and both our bodies were tired. In fact I thought it was about 11:30; he thought it was earlier. I peeked at the clock and it was actually 12:45! We had just stayed up for almost 3 hours talking and boning lol.

 

[gigglebox]

Oh also, with the gender swaying diet, does anyone know if that is exclusively for changing ph in the vag or through your body to help with fertilization? Basically once dtd is done, can I now go back to normal eating or should I hold off until after ovulation?

 

[DobbyForever]

Shae circling back you are very wise. I do agree that people need to trust their guts. After my first “date” with A’s dad, I had posted o FB that I had never met a worse human being. I honestly think the only reason I agreed to a second encounter was that the bd was amazing, but I didn’t realize it was role play to me and real to him. By the time I did, I was in too deep. Sending you the biggest hugs. There’s not need or rush to delete the photos. If they bring you comfort or allow you to feel your feels, keep them.

Gigs ooooo definitely in it to win it timing! How exciting! I’m here for manifesting things, so here’s hoping. Just takes one. Also hehe sexcapade.

Winter omg your Elon Musk comment made me laugh. Glad to hear that both you and FIL are feeling better! Oh man the old school Teen Mom hahahaha. They’ve changed so much.

Fluek I do second Winter. You’re an invaluable resource! Frontline or not. I’m sorry that sometimes the nature of your job can make paint you as “the enemy” in some situations.

Re: Mavis Beacon omg lol yeah sorry that was not my program. I don’t know what we used. I just remember being so excited that the computer lab was funded to purchase a whole room of iMacs. Those super colorful ones haha. And the computer lab teacher would open twice a week to let kids play games like Oregon Trail, the typing game (it was like the faster you type the faster you row), and some math like snow game. But Winter I agree. I always get compliments on being a fast typer, but I absolutely cannot keep my fingers on the “right” keys.

Tdog I’m sorry that the house hunting is awful. It’s such a stressful process! I know House Hunters makes it look fun, but like it’s a headache. Hopefully you can find something soon. And I feel you. It’s easy to get attached to you ladies! We share so much of ourselves and our lives, even if we don’t know each other IRL.

AFM. Still coping better. Like I said, just doing a lot of self care and mantras. Switched from listening to my cry it out playlist to my you’ve got this. “I’m Getting Ready” really helps remind me and center me that I have faith and that I’ll pull through this and my life will continue to be blessed. “Vitamins” by Qveen Herby is hype music that reminds me I need to let go of toxicity and focus on my self care: working out, sleeping in, taking vitamins, eat my greens (nutrition), you ain’t on my vibe then I don’t gotta listen.

Re .. Hm what to call him. What to call him. The Overachiever LOL. This is long lol

So we’re still talking. He did ask me out next weekend to have brunch. He’s been good. I think TB was meant to help me heal from my sexual trauma. VI was meant to show me that my trauma isn’t fully healed. And I get the sense that Overachiever is here to show me that the right person will soothe me and work through my trauma with me rather than fueling it. So even if I don’t end up dating him, he’s helping me continue to lift that standard higher. He was a FOX in his 20s lol. I’ve never dated a guy over 36, so this is new. I was digging through photo albums since my mom is moving, and I found my prom pictures. Like I was a 16 year old junior going to my bf’s senior prom in 2006. He was 31 and already married and divorced by then. My friend is like b* send him my way, idgaf I just want to get back to Paly. I’m sure it’ll be funny one day lol. But that is something that always creeped me out about my stepdad. He’s 20 years older than my mom, so it’s like he could have lost his virginity before she was even born haha. He didn’t cuz late bloomer. But o.m.g. Weirds me out.

At this point, I don’t have any red flags as far as him. In fact, there was one moment a few days ago when I left him a voice message when I woke up in the middle of the night and I did this sigh that ended up sounding like a moan. And since I was tired, the whole thing sounded hella sultry by accident. It was the first audio I sent him, and he was like your voice is beautiful and I’ll be thinking about it all day. And then I replied that I was glad I was wearing a mask because I was blushing and smiling, which was good because I was being naughty and texting in class. This was that day I was posting during autonomous PE And I concerned not using the word naughty because stuff like that green lights bad behavior if it hasn’t cropped up. And he responded that he was glad he was making me blush and being a little naughty. So I was like we gotta reroute this lol. So I told him g rated naughty. And he was like of course, only during school hours. And I was like hahahaha excuse you but you’re not approved for pg-13. And he laughed and was like that’s true and I told him his a** better stay in his lane. Then I had a CTJ that I was joking but not joking, and I don’t want to change the nature of our conversations. And he agreed. And nothing PG has happened since. Compared to guys just persistently coming at me with DTD requests. Vomit. City.

The only thing I don’t like is this custody situation. We talked more about it, and I don’t remember if I said this yet. He usually sees her twice during the work week at minimum, then he sees her on the weekends as well. BUT he’s never had her unsupervised. So he’s like going over there 5-6pm and then not leaving til 10:30pm. Idk what time they’re putting her to bed, but he is consistently not getting home until 10:45ish. And sure they can be those kinds of parents who have the kid up late, but all my friends and even my mom was like so he’s chilling/potentially doing it after the kid goes to bed. He insists that they have a completely plutonic relationship and date other people and have boundaries, but when all but one bf has cheated on you… And honestly I get that they’ve maintained their friendship, but you gotta hang out with her 4x a week. He did say they are trying to work out a schedule where he starts taking the daughter solo. Which I didn’t immediately flag as weird because the mom lost her job when covid hit and he started this really intensive job, so they agreed to just keep the status quo. But like my best friend thinks the mom is doing this to keep him around and my mom thinks he’s full of s* otherwise what mom wouldn’t want a break and for him to have her. Like why does he have to be supervised? He was upfront that the pregnancy was an oops and he wasn’t happy about it in the beginning, and it took him a while to get to a good place with it. Idk. I just know that I’m gonna need them to handle that and get a court approved custody plan in place because I’m really not here for that. I don’t agree with my mom about him maybe being a bad person/dad because I know with A’s dad I wouldn’t spend that kind of time with him. But I do have a spidey sense that this mom is like me. And idk how that’s going to work out. I’m hoping I’m wrong and she ends up being just super chill like him. Otherwise, I gotta dip. So it’s definitely a more convos need to be had and I would want to meet her before any introductions to children happen. But that’s me getting WAY ahead of myself.

 

[DobbyForever]

Gigs. I'm so jealous LOL. Sigh. See that's what I tell my friends. I just want to find a guy who is nice to me and can match my sexual energy. I know they exist! You're proof!

Sorry I can't add anything to gender swaying. You'd think with how obsessed I am to have a girl that I would, but I was also convinced I was getting a donor so the only gender sway I needed to do was pay to do a gender wash LOL

 

[shaescott]

Gigs ugh I wish my SO was so down for double BD, he’s barely down for single he feels bad about it, he’s just so exhausted and in pain after work, and it makes him tired so he won’t do it in the morning. Fingers crossed for you! I’m hoping the small amount of post-BD precum getting in me was enough, but we’ll see. It’s unlikely.

Dobs hugs re: the tests. Don’t love that custody arrangement either. Hm.

Flueks I would never want to work in management, I do not want to be the bad guy, I just can’t agh

AFM my temp is back down to 97.4 range this morning, very weird. I was like “I’m not gonna temp” and now of course that’s out the window my boobs are still sore, and my god I am gassy. But that could just be the hospital cafeteria food I’m eating I don’t seem to be spotting today, so that’s good I guess.

 

[PrettyInInk42]

Hey all. The usual so much to read/exhausted after the kids are in bed excuse from me. Gonna respond to what I remember.

Dobby - The first number of kids I remember wanting was "3-5", then that turned into 4 cuz it's a nice, even number and a bit of a lucky number for me. If I'd ended up with a guy who wanted to have a bunch of kids, I'd probably be going for 4. But since SO never wanted any, I think the fact that I got 3 out of him is pretty good. lol
Just gonna roll with the punches based on what my fundal height is going forward. It was never an issue with my other pregnancies. One of my MWs even said I was measuring perfecting fine with Matthew, so no one had any idea he was gonna be a little over 10lbs. lol. But ya, I'll just see what they say going forward and take it from there.
But anyway, tardy to the party as usual, but I'd say give this new guy a chance. If he's willing to show paperwork, I feel like that's a pretty good sign.

Gigs - Happy belated BDay to DS3!
So, the sway method I used (if memory serves me) recommends a single BD 2.5-3 days before O, no orgasm for you, shallow release, only need to stay horizontal for like 30 mins after, no special lubes, etc. My sway details are...
- Tracked with opks for 6 months
- Got my BFP 2nd cycle actively trying
- Ended up being just shy of 4 days between BD and my O
- I was on top and had 3 orgasms several mins before SO made his "contribution", ended up falling asleep for a few hours after
- No lubes or diet changes for either of us
The sway was still considered "prefect" by the chick that wrote the book (The Babydust Method), so go figure.
Glad that your DH is now on the fence. FX his less then perfect pull out was enough to seal the deal and you'll get a girl regardless.

Winter - When I hear Walter, I think of Jeff Dunham's old man puppet. Sorry. lol
Feeling any better today?

shae - Yay for the ring purchase! Sorry SO is wanting to start using condoms. Accidents can still happen though. But in a couple years, once you're married and expecting the arrival of your first LO, the wait will have been worth it.

Re: Weed Moms. I never grew up around weed. My parents were people who would literally leave parties in the 70's if other guests started smoking. I have a friend who said her parents would smoke with her and her bro in the house, but they'd do it in the bathroom with the fan on and they were
never both h* at the same time. My sister smoked it for years, even when she was in early labour with her first baby. Not sure if she still does now, but I assume so. I felt like the times I've done it in the past, it never really hit me, like in the movies. And I hate coughing so hard it feels like I'm gonna throw up. That being said, now that's pretty much legal here, I've envisioned having a special brownie with friends in my backyard on summer nights after the kids are asleep. I think edibles are more my speed, though I've never tried them before. And more than likely SO won't participate, so there'll be at least one sober parent if something happens.

Re: Religion. Sorry, shae, I didn't read that long post. I will say though that I'm an agnostic/atheist. I don't need a book telling me not to kill people or steal or what protein I can and can't eat on certain days of the week. I think that it's ridiculous to think a newborn baby could have already done something so wrong that it needs to be cleansed in "magic water". Millions of people dying of starvation and disease, innocent children being abused is part of some master plan? I don't think so.

AFM, I have my glucose test tomorrow, so wish me luck. SO got his booster yesterday, and only seems to have a little bit of arm pain. Feeling and seeing lots of little kicks, so that's exciting. Otherwise, just kind of business as usual. I believe I only have 78 more business days of work to get through, but who's counting?
Oh, and we got a snow dump this past Sunday, going into Monday. The official number was 55cm (21.6in). We had 2 snow days in a row, cars and buses getting stuck in the snow as over, a few days to get all the streets plowed. It was crazy.

Here's my backyard at 8am and then again at 11am, the front on Monday morning and now, and the boys actually playing quietly together. lol