General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[DobbyForever]

Quick post yard duty in 2m

Future so glad she is thriving now. I agree with Gigs that ultrasounds are such a double edged sword. I don’t know anything about SUA but will keep baby in my thoughts that it’s nothing major.

Gigs we don’t message much. It’s literally once a day while he’s been on his business trip. We don’t text though, we send voice messages. I think the compliments are either because he’s had bad relationships like me and is genuinely appreciative or it’s a hazard of his job lol he’s also very structured in his message. Always has a greeting and usually addresses me by name, then message, then ending greeting lol. He’s just generally very composed.

yard duty

 

[shaescott]

Tdog to me it’s still a maybe I see something, can’t be sure.

Gigs I discovered I could lactate 2ish years ago when I was taking my maternal newborn rotation and they taught us how to help new moms get colustrum out by squeezing the breast and I was like “haha it would be funny if I did that and it worked” and then it DID and I nearly passed out. I told my doctor ASAP, she did bloodwork (a beta, prolactin, thyroid stuff) and sent me for an ultrasound. Everything came back normal. The OB/GYN said it was “physiological” and to just not keep expressing, aka my body is just super ready to go lol. It’s not an issue. I forgot about it for a long while and recently discovered they are still super ready to go when I tried for kicks and giggles.

 

[gigglebox]

hmm well that is certainly interesting! I wish it was some sort of indication your boobs are rockstar milk makers but sadly that doesn't seem to be the case. Mine are under-achievers when it comes to the milk department.

4 dpo. good grief it's dragging the worst it has since I was actually ttc! Hubby was making baby-growing jokes today that man is the king of mixed signals haha

 

[DobbyForever]

Winter sending hugs and thoughts your way. It’s a lot to process. Take all the time and emotions you need. I was just talking to my coworker who had a mc as well, I told my team. And she was saying it’s honestly grieving losing your child. It’s a lot. I’m hopeful that you can have the natural resolution. Is there an option for testing even that happens? I didn’t ask with Setsuna, I was more preoccupied with giving her a proper farewell. So I don’t know if that’s a thing.

Also jinx. I didn’t see you had said the exact same thing haha. Great. Minds.

Re OA I haven’t pried but I get the feeling he was an absentee dad in the beginning and has since come around. That’s just my guess since he said he was not on board with the pregnancy and it took him a while to get with the program. I think he likes the safety net, and she likes control. I assumed they are going together with the mom, but I guess maybe there’s a chance that he’s taking her solo. Dunno. Didn’t ask. LOL I’m trying to wait for in person before I grill him on anything haha even if he did give me the okay to grill him over text. He has said he prefers to discuss it in person because, to be fully transparent, you can read body language better LOL both on his end and my end to have a more open and honest conversation. He briefly mentioned once that this has evidently been an issue in the past. And I'm like (in my head) your skeletons make mine look like freaking Pirates of the Caribbean/ Jungle Cruise zombie status

Gigs NTNP then? Or is that still too much. I feel like once you know as much as we know LOL is there really such a thing as NTNP? And haha re the jokes. But hey! If he’s joking about it then I feel like that’s guy for let’s do it. I think Pretty’s SO was also joking about it as a way to say I’m here for it.

Shae that makes sense. I do not miss those days. Shudder.

AFM IEP was a waste of my time. I’m def not enrolling him with these people. I can’t even with them. Exhausted. Not much else going on. Tomorrow is the first day I take A to the new house. My brother called me crying today because he doesn’t know if he wants to propose to his gf anymore. OA texted this morning just to say good morning and he was on the plane and would be traveling basically all day. Guess they got delayed on the tarmac for some crazy amount of time, and there were 6 babies on the flight I was like damn. When that happened to A, it got so bad they moved the guy next to me and someone had to write me a nice note because neither A nor I would stop crying so I can’t imagine that x 6. But I guess once they got up in the air they were able to soothe and settle. But I’m seriously still scarred from that. Not flying alone with A anytime soon lol. The one time I flew by myself. And it’s hard because he doesn’t eat a lot of foods but you can’t bring food through security.

Oh and getting AF like cramping where I was having the bizarre pain. I was a bit hopeful it means AF is coming. But my hpt still has a vfl so I doubt it.

 

[gigglebox]

Oh no dobs. Sorry things went more or less as expected in a negative way :/ i was hoping you’d be pleasantly surprised. Ugh nothing sounds worse than trying to fly with a baby! Ok there are plenty worse things but that’s a hard pass for me. Haha yeah what is NTNP? and especially with wanting to maybe sway…yeah…So….

also what’s going on with your bro?? Why does he not want to propose anymore? And what did I miss here, new house???

 

[DobbyForever]

I'm really hoping everything aligns and you get your girl. I'm all for manifesting it.

Yeah I was hoping to be pleasantly surprised, and they acted like I was crazy for not wanting to enroll him. Whatever.

Technically, it's an old house. So my stepdad is into investing in real estate. My mom opted to take the smaller house in the same city and let him keep the bigger. She never liked it and never felt at home, plus she'd have to pay up a ton of money if she wanted it. She finally moved out last weekend. But my brother is home for the weekend and my stepdad said we're still welcome to come over and use the big house for naps and sleeping. Which like is cool if my brothers are home otherwise HARD PASS lol. It's 2 bed and they just added a second bath, but she's living with my brother and hasn't gotten a sleeper couch. And my brother is spouting shit about how she hates that we come over every weekend but I just talked to her and she's like WTF

So other brother, one home from college for the weekend, was saying that he feels bad because he just doesn't feel like he wants to be with his gf. That when something good or bad happens, she's not the person she wants to call anymore. He doesn't even want to call her at all. He doesn't miss her. He's become so accustomed to her absence that he doesn't really want her back in his life at this point. And that he feels like he went to college and he changed s a person but she's still the same person she was. He feels guilty because they've been dating for like 8 years now. And he doesn't know if this is just "losing the passion" that happens to people when they've been together a long time. He still loves her and enjoys spending time with her, but he says it's just different. When I asked if he wants to still marry her, he said that "I could have a good life with her I think" or "It'd be okay". So I just told him 1. if he doesn't want to share his life with her, he really needs to think about that because his wife will be his number one person/ mother to his children, 2. yes people tend to change in college and some people change in a way that's compatible but some people don't, and that doesn't make him a bad person that he has changed, 3. if he's gonna dump her, do it now don't drag s* out, 4. if they have to "work things out" at 23 with no kids and no marriage and no real adult responsibilities then that's concerning. But yeah he's just not sure if he's overreacting to these feelings. He's had them for about two months now. She wants them to work it out and said that he's the only one for her. I just think he's jumping through all these hoops with the Catholic classes and he's working so hard, landed an internship with a great law firm meanwhile she literally can't get into a credential program because her GPA is too low. And she's just been kinda blah lately and really snippy with him. They took a break for a week not too long ago because she made some dish and left it in my mom's fridge. And then the cleaners tossed it because it was like there at least 5 days because nobody else but him is allowed to eat the food she makes for him specifically. So she SCREAMED at him about how ungrateful he was and she made it for him and she couldn't believe he let the cleaners throw it away.... ... ... Eye. Roll. Like she's a kissa** to me and nice to A, but I'm not mad about it. My brother is A's godfather, and I don't trust her with his trust fund in the slightest.

 

[PrettyInInk42]

Winter - Oh no. I'm so sorry for your loss. </3 That sounds a lot like mine. Found out at 11w1d that the baby had stopped growing at 8w5d. Really hoping you'll be able to pass everything quickly and as painlessly as possible. Do you think you'll be able to convince SO to try again, even with IVF? Is he someone that needs a little more time to regroup after something like this? And if you don't go with IVF, do you think you'll do NTNP going forward and hope for the best? So sorry again.

shae - Wow, that's interesting. Do you think you'd produce enough milk to donate some?
Or is it not technically milk cuz you're not postpartum?

Future - Welcome back and congrats! I have no idea when it comes to gender theories in pics, so I'll send some blue dust your way and hope that everything continues to progress well. Glad to hear DD2 is doing so well. I can't even imagine going through something like that. Some moms are just real MVPs.

tdog - I feel like I'm seeing slight lines, but I'm also pretty tired. Are you gonna test again tomorrow?

Gigs - The 2ww can seriously be so tedious. Sorry if you've said already, but when are you planning on taking your first test?

Dobby - I feel like it's definitely good that he wants to reschedule ASAP and that he's making his daughter a priority. Have you actually settled on a new date and time?

AFM, been having some on and off sore throat/ear pain since "recovering" from Covid. I took a Tylenol Cold and Flu pill (a proper dose is 2 pills) and it didn't seem to do much. May take a full dose in the morning if things aren't any better.
Haven't heard from my MW at all, so I guess no news is good news and my glucose numbers were fine *knock on wood*
So, I'm fairly certain I have Diastasis Recti Abdominis. Gonna mention it at my next appt and see if my MW can confirm. Hopefully it will heal on it's own, but if not, then hopefully a plastic surgeon will be able to fix it and do a tummy tuck at them same time.
So, to answer Dobby's question about meaning/significance of each name...
Layla - Just kinda like it. Less common than Emma, feel like it rolls of the tongue nicely, and every time SO hears that Eric Clapton song, he sings along. My name is also a song title. lol
Catherine - Again, just think it sound nice, not overused, don't personally know anyone with that name.
Zoey - The name of my fav Suicide Girl, less common, don't know anyone with that name. Also, when SO was pushing for Benjamin as Matthew's name, he kept joking about it being alphabetical. Our first is at the start of the alphabet, 2nd is in the middle, and last could be right at the end. lol
Natalie - He (we) knew a girl in high school with that name. Her and SO apparently had very pleasant, platonic convos in music class and the name just brings back good memories. I'm not a fan though cuz it means "birth of the Lord/born at Christmas", so I don't see if for a May baby.
Hannah - I think he just liked the movie and the show, Hanna. Only really mentioned it in passing and I have a first cousin once removed with that name, so not a fan.
Ok, so, Bailey has a handful of pros and cons for me.
Pros - Has grown on me and I keep going back to it... My name starts with a B, as does my mom's and my maternal grandmother's nickname/name everyone called her. He legal name actually started with an H... Don't know anyone with that name
Cons - Means "baliff/law enforcer"... debatably gender neutral, but I guess "Alex" is too... Makes me think of Bailey's Irish Cream. That being said, my name is also a type of alcohol, so that is a little funny... SO knew a Bailey growing up, his uncle's dog. :S
Regardless, definitely gonna need to have a proper discussion. My mom came over for dinner tonight and asked about names again and jokingly said Zelda. SO turned to me and said "if you really want that, I wouldn't really fight you on it." I was like "Uh, who am I? Robin Williams? I'm not naming my daughter that. You probably hear that and think Legend of Zelda; I think Sabrina the Teenage Witch's aunt." lol

 

[DobbyForever]

Pretty not yet. I’m assuming he’s either not home or he’s home but went straight to bed. I didn’t ask him to text me when he lands so we’ll see if he does. Idk his flight info just that it looks like they took off around noon. Could be nonstop, could have a layover. Shrugs. He hasn’t said anything today about Sunday. First day I didn’t get an audio from him just the text check in from the plane. I missed my lip wax today because the iep went late. Anyway I told him my thoughts and my schedule, so if he wants to make it happen then he can. If not, whatever.

oh no! I’m so sorry you’re still feeling crummy. And omg no! What makes you think you have it? I was just talking to my friend about it. She bought the program for post partum moms to address some issues she’s having. My cousin had it after her second, so she did a surgical fix. And while she was there did her boobs, tummy tuck, and put the fat in her booty. I do agree hopefully and likely no news is good news for the glucose.

I love names with meanings. I also went straight to Princess Zelda haha. I don’t like her though. Like she’s kinda whiny and wimpy imho. Catherine was the girl I didn’t like and Bailey was the (male) dog. I can say that now since it sounds like they’re not front runners for you lol. Zoey is cute but then what if you decide to go for 4! Unless you want to be like Elon and just give you kid some weird spelling like 1$ llA (Isabella) LOL well there was a bell emoji in there ftr

side note: I wonder if my recovery time is also because I’m not drinking my protein. I stopped a while ago because it’s so expensive and I didn’t really need it anymore, but I’m noticing I’m having a hard time eating something at 10am (aka in class) that’s filling so this 18-6 is harder on me than usual. I think I saw a bag at my stepdad’s last week and ordered a similar but cheaper blend on Amazon.

 

[PrettyInInk42]

Anytime I try to get up from laying flat, I see a bulge in the centre of the stomach. I figured it was just the baby, but I saw a post on a May 2022 group on FB with some pics and a description and was like "oh, that looks like what I have." I'm not in any pain, which is good, but I don't think the condition has any pain associated with it. I guess I'll just see how things progress and what it looks like several months postpartum and then how it looks after I drop a bunch of weight.

I doubt SO will go for Zoey, so that's probably a non-issue. lol. And I'm way too boring and traditional to give my kid some Elon inspired name. I remember shortly after having Alex, SO made some random comment about liking the name Winter for a girl. I didn't say much about it, but internally was like "Uh, hell no. That's too out there." lol

You made some very valid points about your bro. Here's hoping he can come to a decision that brings him peace ASAP.

 

[Flueky88]

Dobby oh man. Yeah it would definitely be better for your bro to end things now rather than later. I didn't have a long relationship other than with my DH but I feel like you lose that "puppy love" after about 1 year, maybe 2. So I wouldn't think it would be that being an 8 year relationship. In any case hope he chooses what is right for him.

I can't imagine trying to fly with young kids. Nope, not for me lol

Gigs, bahaha NTNP is so hard when you are hyperaware of your body but I know it is also not full ttc either. What do are you now again?


Pretty, you could always try working with a PT about DR before considering surgery. Just a suggestion. Might even be able to go now and they could teach techniques to prevent it from worsening.

Winter, I'm sorry DH is not wanting to pursue IVF at this time. I wonder if he will change his mind. I am sure he is grieving too. In any case, I am so sorry you are going through this


AFM not much to report here. We got all our w2s so will work on filing our taxes this weekend. Trying to figure out a plan for S's 3rd birthday party in March. She wants a Marshall birthday cake, which I ordered yesterday. Now to get decorations. Think I'm just going to order domino's pizza so I don't have to cook. Hard with DH working weekends to get it all done by yourself with 3 young kids.

 

[tdog]

Sorry ladies been mia last night and this morn was in a car crash yesterday a taxi just pulled out from the side road without looking. I did test this morn to me looks bfn if I'm honest, but had pink when wiped aswell in a way I'm gutted, it would literally be trying to convince him but with his problems I no what the answer would be xx

 

[gigglebox]

Oh wow dobs, he’s felt this way for two months?? I think it’s unlikely to change. You gave him some solid advice. From someone who knows a couple who got married because they were dating so long, and the husband was having second thoughts but did it anyway….yeah, NO. That couple is do ok now, about 6 years and two kids later, but they fight a lot, husband cheated on his pregnant wife, and they have issues in general. They make it work but it’s definitely not a relationship I envy. And he’s so young, he can cut it off now and have time to establish a nice relationship with someone new. I had another friend who stuck in her crap relationship for nearly 10 years before she cut it off. Actually it may have been more like 11 or 12. She sadly gave him the best years of her life. She’s now in no committed relationship and is unlikely to have kids when that used to mean so much to her.

anyway.

pink I was going to hold out until tuesday (8dpo) but I am likely to cave on monday. Maybe. I don’t know I already know it will be a waste of a test. We’ll just have to see how logic plays out on Monday. Also if your only hang up on Natalie is the meaning, Jesus was actually born in Spring as I understand it. I do still love Layla but Zoey is nice too. Only Zoey I know is Deschannel (or however you spell it) and I love her. My cousin has a daughter she named Zelda, and I always thought it was a little “out there” because of the game, but actually your reminding me about Aunt Zelda has normalized it for me a bit along the same line, hubby likes the name Link for a boy. I like it more as a nickname but really the only name I can think of it being a nickname for is “Lincoln”…admirable man but no thanks lol. If anyone know of others I’d be curious to hear!

sorry about the suspected DRA. I am glad it’s not a painful condition though.

oh dobs regarding better diets we’re actually going to start trying raw milk to see how that goes. It’s supposed to have wonderful benefits, among those are higher nutrients and more filling. Kind of neither here not there but your comment made me think of it…

 

[gigglebox]

Tdog i saw about your accident!! I am glad you all are ok. How is the shoulder? I was rear ended when i was pregnant with #2 and had ds1 in the car (by someone with no insurance— that was fun) and it shook me up pretty good. Sorry to say I don’t see any lines I do suggest a conversation with things to your hubby, or maybe just see if he would be ok with you taking the implant out and ntnp, if you are set on one more.

fluek I’m 5dpo yay for bithdays!! Dawww love that she has an opinion on her cake. My 3yo didn’t, which was nice because I didn’t have to have a specific theme, we just threw it together. I did make some monster trucks on his cake the best i could lol. He loved it they’re so easy to please at this age lol

 

[DobbyForever]

Pretty oh yeah that died sound suspicious. Hoping it’s not that because the only fix is surgery, right? I was worried about it after A, but I think my doctor felt up my tummy and said I didn’t have it. So FXed.

Lol I like Winter as a fictional character name not necessarily as a practical irl name. Can’t wait to hear where you land and what other names come up in the meanwhile.

haha yeah well I flew 2-3x before with him but my mom was with me AND he was in the ergo baby just passed the eff out and slept the whole time. This just went to hell because the flight was delayed, so he missed dinner and bath. And he’s so picky with food and the only food they had after security was Chinese (he wouldn’t eat) and since it was a short flight they only had peanuts and pretzels

gigs right?! I almost pointed out his parents and how well good enough worked for them but too soon. She keeps telling him it’s normal and they can fix it. I don’t think it’s even about him honestly. I’ve always wondered if she loves him or the idea of him. But yeah idk. I told him I support him either way but yeah they’re young. They’ll both move on. And him as a handsome, highly educated, kind man can have an easy time finding someone at any life stage. But let’s get real. As women, dating nowadays in your late 20s/30s or beyond is a mess. I’m one of four single teachers at my school, nothing but horror stories lol. Single when I got there 5 years ago, we all still single now. So give her a fighting chance to find someone else.

FXed for your testing when you do start! I think I heard that as well that he was born in Spring not Dec and there was some reason why it ended up on Dec vs his actual birthday

ooo I heard that when we went to a dairy farm once. Wasn’t intrigued enough to do it but I did taste some that day. I was a kid though lol dont remember. Definitely update on the experience

Yeah idk my big thing is once he said he doesn’t want to share his life with her, I was like what do you think marriage is? That’s your partner in life. You don’t have to have a dramatic break up when you never talk again or stop being friends. But do you want to go through life without the support of a wife who is your best friend? I phrased it differently.

OA’s morning message was fine. Sounds like Sunday is off the table. I guess he stayed in LA last night and flies back from LA tonight. Idk if Sunday is off the table because I pointed out that his morning plans could go long/he hasn’t stopped moving all week so I was fine pushing it out if he needed Sunday night to decompress. So looks like next weekend. He’s like I’m sorry, there’s a lot I want I share with you in person, we’ll find a time, and they say good things can’t be rushed. Which is all fair but my gut feeling is this inconsistency with his custody situation is going to be an issue. If I didn’t have my own kid/ making plans involves other people rearranging their schedules to accommodate mine, I wouldn’t care. I’m not even mad just like slightly unamused.

Still crampy, sore by my left ovary, and my back hurts. Didn’t hpt test today. Trying to only check every few days. Opks still at 0.2-0.3 baseline. Sorry I’ll be whining about wanting my period back probably every day til OT comes back and then it’ll come and I’ll cry

 

[WinterBub]

I'm sorry you're still feeling off, Pretty Hopefully you will be back to 100% shortly. I definitely have some type of diastasis recti... not sure how to tell how bad it is. But I didnt really notice anything at all when not pregnant and at an ok weight. My OB commented on it and I can notice it now when pg. So, hopefully yours heals once you've had Baby and some time to recover. If you don't mind me asking- with your loss, how
long did it take for things to happen naturally?

No, I don't think that I'm up for NTNP. I have wondered if my problem is PCOS related and if I lost a decent chunk of weight (say 20lb) would that change my mind? Or if I try the thyroid medication? My worry is that it seems fairly likely that I'm going to have a experience like this again. I'm now in the 1% with recurrent miscarriages and I seem to fall pregnant ridiculously easily, so odds of a repeat seem high. I'm not even sure that I definitely want to do IVF. I guess I'd like to go and at least find out what the experience/cost etc would be. This is just how I cope with things- I need a plan and to feel like I'm working towards something, or I go nuts with nothing to focus my mind on. I still can't believe it.

And in my latest news, I tested positive for covid yesterday. LO was clearly sick when he got up and tested positive, so did I (very mild "off" feeling). OH seems to have a full blown cold as of this morning, so assume it has gotten him to. Not sure where we got it. Either me at the doctor, picking up food somewhere or at the park. if the baby passed a week ago, it's unlikely I had covid then if I only tested positive yesterday, right? The internet says that there's no elevated m/c risk but ???

Dobby- I'm now starting to get some red flaggy feelings about your guy. I don't know, just all seems like little odd things here and there. Do you know that he is for sure travelling? I guess he gave you his real name if you've googled him, which is something... I was just starting to wonder if may he's married or in a relationship or something

And it sounds like your brother needs to break things off, and knows he needs to, but just doesn't want to. Sounds like he doesn't want to hurt her, or deal with it...

Flueky- the party sounds great! Love the sound of the Marshall cake hope that she has a great time!! And good for you re: taxes. We're still waiting for forms etc, but want to get going asap. Apparently the IRS is more useless than usual this year

Yeah, I don't think that NTNP exists once you know what you know, giggle. Would your OH also want a girl? And have you talked about swaying etc with him? Or is this all kind of hush hush, just keeping it light and fun for him, but considering this stuff on the side yourself? I'm terrible at reading tests but look forward to seeing yours anyway

As for your names, Pretty... I still like Bailey best it just seems like a really adorable name for a little girl, but also a name that she could grow into. I also really like Zoey, Hannah, Layla and Natalie. My OH floated Hannah at some point because it's a palindrome. I wouldn't choose it for that reason, but that was kind of cool! Honestly, all of those names are nice. Friends of friends have a Winter. I was surprised how wearable it is in real life- although strangely she has an older sister named Kaitlyn. So, the only weird thing to me was that the style of those two names seems so different. In any case, doesn't sound like Winter is a serious contender!

 

[WinterBub]

Have any of you tried something like Nutrisystem/Weight Watchers/Jenny Craig where you buy all your meals from them? It seems like an old lady thing, but I was considering giving to a try. I've just gotten into bad habits and clearly can't be trusted to make my own food I'd like to lose at least 15lb (what I've put on in this pregnancy... Again). And another 15lb would be my ideal weight.

 

[DobbyForever]

Winter, my mom used JC. I looked into it, way too expensive for me. She did lose a ton of weight, but the problem is once you get off it then it all comes right back. So I guess that's my issue with any program or diet, if it's not something you would maintain daily then the progress ends up just being temporary. My mom did JC off and on. She tried the Atkins as well for a while. I think it can be a good stepping off point until you figure out what works for you long term. I'm big on small but frequent exercise. So during the pandemic, I walked the dogs 5x a week (I know they deserve better lol, but I can't walk them with A) for 30-45m in the mornings then I cycled 20m 3x a week. Then I started doing the 30 day buns, guns, and abs with a few friends. It's like a daily series of squats, leg lifts, and push ups for 30 days. Then figuring out your diet. Hardest thing for me is snacking, so I just don't keep snacks in the house or things I keep things like smart popcorn/ walnuts/ fruits. I love intermittent fasting. I do 16-8 (think I was typing 18-6 before lol) five days a week then Sat/Sun are rest days. I eat whenever and whatever I want. Supposed to help to have days off. I feel like it really helped my metabolism without any of the negative consequences I saw when I did keto. I don't count carbs anymore because keto really messed up my blood pressure, but I do generally try to stick to healthier stuff like whole wheat, low sodium, low fat, yadda yadda. As I said, the protein shake first thing in the morning with a couple of eggs helped curb my appetite. It was a blend of whey protein (fills you up instantly) but then also casein protein (slower to digest). My big issue after pumping was I was starving all the time, so when I stopped pumping I had the same appetite but no need for all that food. So I lost my pregnancy weight then gained it back. The protein blend helped get my appetite back to normal. And it's great to help restore and build muscle so if you're upping your exercise you get that added perk. And even though I only eat from 10am-6pm, I eat frequently. I eat something every two hours. Still working it out because I had to push my window back due to working in person. But before my window was 8-4 since I was WFH. So 8am was breakfast, 10am was a snack, 12pm was lunch, 2pm snack, 4pm dinner. You can have things that don't provide nutrients in your off hours. So I had my cup of coffee before 8am. And if I got hungry at night then I'd brew myself a cup of green tea, since that also is supposed to help improve your digestion/ reduce hunger. Oh and I drank a cup of everyday detox tea, 2 weeks on 1 week off. But that was when A was in school 7-4:30 and I was WFH only having to be live 8:20-11:30 with breaks that I got to schedule haha.

Fluek got your taxes are done! I'm just waiting on one more form for the IRS to be finalized. They're predicting 2/10. 2/3 just came through last night. So excited to pay off my debts, and then if I get lucky with the car accident money I might even be able to pay off my car. Though I may just keep it as nest egg in A's non existent saving account so I can stop borrowing money from my mom if I have a bad month. That's what makes the idea of a second kid tough, too. Come Fall, I'll actually start having emergency money. Right now, if anything hits the fan I'm borrowing money from my mom and she's pretty strapped for cash. She was just saying she (not so smart) demanded my stepdad spli their finances then realized she hadn't finished remodeling or furnishing her place... so now instead of spending joint money, she's just spending her money. I love her, but she's really letting her emotions get the best of her in this divorce.

 

[DobbyForever]

Sorry didn’t see you had another post. A is being clingy.

Hugs hugs. I totally get the pouring yourself into planning. It gives you a sense of hope for the future but also a sense of control and honestly a bit of distraction. All things you need right now. I’m the same way. No harm in getting more information.

I’m so sorry about the covid. Hopefully everyone has a mild case and you all recover quickly. I heard the opposite. I heard there is an elevated risk of hospitalization and pregnancy loss, which is why my ob is quite insistent about pregnant women being vaccinated or boostered. I know it can take some time after exposure to test positive, but I would think the two things are unrelated. Honestly, that was my immediate thought with Setsuna. Seemed a bit too coincidental that we were exposed to covid right about the time she stopped growing. But I also never ended up testing positive via rapid test or pcr. And then part of me is like I know the protection is supposed to go to your baby as well, but if she wasn’t attached via placenta how much of my vaccine was she really getting? Is that where the virus went? Did it just go full force on her? Is that why I never tested positive because she took the full force brunt of it and lost? Idk. Anyway. I try not to think about it too much. I’ll never know, and there’s nothing I can do about it now. But I feel you. There are so many questions.

Well he’s definitely traveling. Me of little faith, I did peek at his bumble LOL and it confirms he went to NY and that he’s back in LA today. Whether or not he’s got girlfriends/sister wives in areas that he travels for work, that’s a who knows. LOL. I do have his full name, and he’s done a few podcasts so I can verify that it’s his voice in the audio. And he did send a selfie the other day from work. He doesn't do social media, his official twitter is run by a bot lol so it's just random nothing personal. No insta, no FB. Which is so bizarre to me as a millennial but you do you. He was very communicative when he was here, but he was on a business trip. And he’s not a low or middle level employee. He’s upper management, so I honestly give him props for messaging me once a day while he was gone. Especially since we’re not even properly dating yet. But lol yeah my damaged butt is out here like I wonder if he’s just out here knocking out messages one after the other like in “He’s Just Not That Into You” when that musician calls Drew Barrymore and leaves her a cute voicemail then dials her again by mistake and leaves her the same vm but with another girl’s name LOL. But I don’t get liar vibes or cheater vibes. I actually feel really calm and feel like our communication lines up nicely. He’s also still technically legally married to Dr. Rescue Dog I’m So Smart and Pretty and Perfect LOL so he can’t be married to anybody else. I just know in my gut if the custody stuff doesn’t get handled or if I meet baby momma and she’s a control freak like me then this won’t work. I do believe him when he says they're not intimate (but I also believed my ex so look where that got me lol), but I do think she uses the kid spend time with him because she obviously wanted to be with him and he doesn't want to be with her. He insists that they mutually don't want to be together, and I'm like hahahahahahaha ok. OKAY SIR. I don't buy that for a second. But yeah idk his message this morning really rubbed me the wrong way and didn’t sit well. Mostly just because there was no explanation for why Sunday afternoon/evening is now officially off the table, and my mom, my brother, and I were sitting over here waiting to see what was up. Just a little inconsiderate imo. Like I don’t need you to be all chatty up in my business but if we’re trying to make plans and you know my plans involve childcare, I feel like there should be better communication there. So it’s the first time he’s dropped the ball on communication.

I also have a suspicion he gets into LTRs/marriage too quickly or is a red flag ignorer like me. So that concerns me.

Yeah re my bro, he doesn’t want to hurt her. And he feels guilty that like she wants to fight and work at it and he’s just done. And I think he’s seen how toxic the rest of us are LOL so part of him doesn’t know what healthy looks like. So maybe this is normal and healthy. But nah. He gotta gtfo. And he does still love her. I told him there's love and then there's in love. Sounds like he's not in love anymore. I still love my exes because we shared important memories together, but I'm not in love with them and don't want to share my life with them. I did remind him that she missed his graduation to go to Sant Barbara with her friends, and then literally asked to use HIS CAR to drive down there because hers (my parents gave her my brother's old car which doesn't have ac when she got her license). Cuz it wasn't even virtual, they did in person. And even then, I sent her the link to the livestream and she didn't even watch it! Not even after the fact when I told her you can see him at this time and whatever. So whatever. He was like I literally don't remember that happening, and I'm like pft I do. And if that's the level of support you want from a partner, more power to you. But the desire to share in those big moments should be mutual, and it sounds like and looks like it's not.

 

[DobbyForever]

Last post I swear lol these cramps are fierce I better get my period today

 

[WinterBub]

That's interesting that JC worked, but of course doesn't address the underlying issues. Blah. I think I'm going to do my own version of it (which would seemingly be like half the price). More or less buy a week's worth of lean cuisine type meals and plan it out/try to for real stick to it. I also worked out some take out options that are low calorie (ie. grilled chicfila burger, or salads with Italian dressing), so that it isn't all boring stuff from the freezer. I'm well capable of cooking healthy food and working out what to eat. I just have tonnes of bad habits at the moment that I need to stop/reverse asap. I also need to reset portion sizes. So, wonder if a bit of a circuit breaker would help Your work out routine sounds really good, Dobby. I've actually been doing walking/exercise bike/cross training this whole time (just more gently than previously). That is until Wednesday, when I got home and took to the couch with a blanket. Still don't feel like doing anything beyond feel sad and scour the internet/watch garbage on tv.

The covid thing is really weird and I did think about your loss, too. It all seems oddly coincidental. When did you test positive vs when did you lose her? Seems this was a week. And I took a test Wednesday when my back hurt and that was negative, positive by Friday. So, this isn't an old infection. I know that pregnant women are at greater risk of being seriously ill, but the internet says that m/c isn't at increased risk. More like issues for the baby come in if the mother is seriously unwell. the weirdest part is that I really don't feel very sick at all. I guess this is definitely omicron. It's just the cherry on top, and to be honest, I don't have the emotional bandwidth to care all that much. I hope it wasn't the reason for my loss, but what is there to do now, anyway? I will do the genetic testing if possible. LO seems 75% better today, and him being ok is my only worry. He's been sicker this year with the vomiting bug and even a non-covid cold. So, that's something at least.

I guess there's no way to tell what your guy is like without meeting. 1. See if the chemistry and stuff is even there in the first place and then 2. Scrutinize his body language etc after that. You obviously have a lot more to go on than we do, so just make sure you're comfortable and happy and trust yourself. i do feel there's a bigger story there with the baby Mama. You have to get the scoop on that whole situation before you can work out what the lay of the land is! Like I said, if he isn't allowed to take his child out of her house, that is odd. But maybe that isn't the situation and I understood things incorrectly.

I hope your brother finds the courage to pull the band aid off and break up with his gf. Maybe a break would bring them back together, and if not, it is what it is. Better to break it off than push it and end up with a disaster 5 years from on now. My brother and his wife absolutely shouldn't have gotten married, are now divorcing very acrimoniously

Fingers crossed you will get AF today