General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

Dobby it seems we watched a lot of the same anime. I'm also a bit more mainstream. I used to watch Inuyasha but I had a hard time staying up and just kinda fell out. I did like it. I liked sesshoumaru better than inuyasha. I used to always have a thing for the perverted characters though LOL Miroku. Love Hina was probably my fav manga for quite some time.

Glad I'm not the only one about chocolate everyday. I'm going to make some chcoclate covered strawberries later this week I think. I'm afraid that if I wait until the week of V day, I won't find any good strawberries.

Thanks we should definitely be able to a vacation from a financial standpoint. The other part would be do we want to vacation with young kids and worry about toddler proofing. Honestly running after a toddler for all the time they are up is no fun. Eh, maybe we could have a big family vacation so we could get help with kids and we could get some alone time. Or we could have a grandparent watch E at our home while we take V and S somewhere? Could just save it back for a really nice Disney vacation later. Lots of options. I think at the least DH and I might try to sneak away for a couple nights. I would love a cabin in the mountains, hot tub, wine, and no responsibility for a few days/nights. I'd probably end up feeling guilty.

No he isn't having 2nd thoughts now. Just after the gender ultrasound. When we were in the exam room waiting for the OB, he said he wasn't sure if he wanted to stop. He came to his senses 4 to 6 weeks later. The logistics of it all though, I really like out setup and am glad we are getting to the point of our lives where the kids are older so it's easier to do things.

I find S to be the clumsiness since she's broken a bone and she also is the only one so far to just step down further into the pool and sink down. Thankfully I caught her quickly but yeah. She is the one I have to worry about keeping alive lol But in any case they are all clumsy though

Those are some definite red flags. If he normally has location on and then turns it off. Yeah, I would say steer clear. I mean I know that you shouldn't really be checking but at the same time what is he hiding?

I am really glad you had a nice time with the family.

It must be a bit bittersweet about the not being negative. I hope that your body can heal and that pain goes away when you exercise.

Gigs, ah well sorry for lack of pregnancy symptoms. I am hoping DH is open to ttc or at least full NP

AFM I am fixing a whole chicken in the instant pot and 1. it was still frozen 2. It was a bit too big. So being cautious. I didn't overfill the water so hoping for the best. Maybe as it thaw it'll scoot a bit further down into the pot. The first time I used a manual pressure cooker....oh lord it was a mess from hell but just glad I wasn't in the kitchen and lived alone. So far I has cooked a little over 20 minutes soooo.....maybe we are good.

I lost a 1.5lb since my last weight in. Even though the scales haven't budged as much as I would expect. I know that I've had more results. I can lift heavier weights and just noticing the changes in how my body looks. I'm very bloated right now cause of damn PMS. I'm trying to approach my weight loss as a marathon and not a race. Focusing on getting myself stronger, building some muscles so the scales aren't always the best for progress. I need to take some measurements and track maybe monthly.
 
Haha omg rip SO I just realized that I mentioned LA but this dude never specifically said LA to me so riiiiiiiiiiiip
 
Omg lol Fluek right?! Even Brock from Pokémon haha. :rofl: yeah Inuyasha got confusing after a while haha luckily this sequel is much more straight forward and a lot less filler episodes in season 2/second half of season 1. You don’t need the background of the first series either to really enjoy it. If stands alone but obviously helps to have that nostalgic buy in

good plan on the strawberries yummmmy do you go all out and decorate them or just dip? I’m just here dipping lol

lol ok I was so confused haha excited but confused :rofl:

oh no about the pool! And yeah definitely keeping you on your toes

oooo hope the frozen chicken goes well! Idk how to cook so I’ll just cheer you on lol. Kudos on another pound down! And exactly so many other tangible measures of your progress in your strength and mood and overall health. So that’s really awesome!

yeah I know online it says if people haven’t opened the app in days then it will snooze them. But idk sounds SKETCH TO ME but part of me is like maybe he likes me so much he’s not on the app and he only opened it at baby momma’s to show her my profile or in ny to show... anyone LOL idk. SkEtChY. I know he’s hiding something and he wants to tell me in person. That’s clear. But also it’s been two weeks since we started talking so pony up the skeletons. Says the girl who has literally had a positive pregnancy test up until today..... so..... awkward turtle feel a little pot calling the kettle black
 
Wow, Pretty! Good for you. That's a pretty amazing achievement. What kind of intermittent fasting did you do? And I love the side by side pics where you've lost weight and little Matthew has grown in the meantime. ❤️ How much were you losing a week? I'm sure that losing some weight would help with any of my fertility issues (certainly can't hurt). I've yo-yoed around quite a lot this year because of the weeks of pregnancy/nausea eating and then the loss/recovery. I just did a BMI calculator thing- I am technically only 16lb above the upper limit of what's "healthy" for my height. So, hopefully that goal is not too far off, and Id ideally like to be 15lb under that. So :shrug:. I don't have an IG, but may come asking for that name if I ever set one up. Thank you!

And thank you for sharing your MMC timeline. I'm so glad that you got to have your Matthew after your loss, and now this little lady too ❤️.

When does the letdown feeling happen, flueky? :-k if there's no leaking, and no pain then just seems like one of those things. You have had AF back after having your last, right? I didn't until I stopped BF completely. Just wondering if it Is some kind of hormone shift. :shrug:

I'm sorry about the negative hpt, Dobby. But I'm glad that your body is getting back to normal :hugs:bittersweet to close the chapter. It was 6ish weeks after my loss before I got AF. The bleeding dragged on and on, though :wacko:

Y'all have gotten into a weird place by the sounds of things, Dobby. I find the location turning off weird, but I also found it a bit OTT that you tracked him so :shrug::rofl: You're in a weird place because you've never actually met, but on the other hand have been doing coupley things like good morning and good night texts. :shrug:

It does sound like you and your OH are more or less on the same page, giggle. SO, here's to hoping that it is meant to be. ❤️ No, I didn't have any trouble having my LO. We weren't even trying! And I remember asking my OB at my 6w appt if I needed to rush to have a other, and she was very much like "no, no, you have time". I had just turned 33 when he was born. She said that pregnancy was tougher the older you got, but overall my risks were low for a few years yet. Obviously, she didn't know any of this would happen, and statistically she is/was right. Does sting quite a bit to think about now, though. I wish we'd tried right after he turned 1. But who knows :shrug: could have had these same issues by then. He turned one right at the peak of covid hysteria, so we really didn't consider it then on those grounds at that point, anyway. All regrets I have plenty of time to muse over. :cry:

The history St. Valentine is awesome.... I just hate the forced fake romance. And dobby- I love that your mom sent you vday love! My MIL gave me a present on my first Mother's Day, which is up there for nicest things anyone has ever done for me. And I never commented, giggle- the conception glow you were talking about is pretty amazing. ❤️

AFM- feel totally over covid beyond a blocked nose. None of us ever got even a mild fever. If I hadn't tested, I would have written this off as a mild cold and never considered it could've been covid. It was basically 24hrs of aches, and now a blocked nose. LO was cranky with red cheeks for one day and now kind of snotty, that's it. OH has had it slightly worse- sore throat, hoarse voice, some aches... And so grumpy. :rofl: I know it is a big deal for some, and am glad we didn't get Alpha/Delta, but this has been a breeze. Hopefully the antibodies hold for a good while [-o<.
 
Go on that trip, and don't feel guilty, flueky!! And lol at your "she's the one I have to worry about keeping alive". I was that child to my parents. I once rode my trike down a flight of stairs (how else was I going to get it down?) and almost drowned at a family friends' bbq (my brother was teasing me for wearing floaties- I was sure gonna show him!). I was always just really keen to be independent :shy:
 
Ok ladies I sent my CTJ request at 8:30 last night and it’s 8:15am. In your opinions, how long is a reasonable amount to pony up an explanation? Cuz I’m about ready to unmatch him and give him a s* list nickname in my phone lol
 
Dobby nothing fancy, just dipped. I think most people that get all fancy drizzle white chocolate on them but I hate white chocolate. It tastes like pure sugar to me, bleh.

Yes sewing those tangible numbers I think will be helpful cause it can be disappointing not seeing the number go down on the scales. I think I will get measurements after I get AF so I don't get bloat interfering

Thanks I enjoy cooking. I'm not a fancy chef but I think I'm a decent cook. DH and our family thinks so. Maybe not kids as much lol you know they'd rather eat plain noodles or peanut butter sandwiches. Thankfully no explosions lol. It's on a natural release of pressure so we should be safe.

Winter I think we probably will. I'd really like to try a bit of a family vacation too. Going to wait until DHs appointment with the podiatrist Tuesday though. Lol about you being the daredevil, independent one. There a 2x in my life that I think if it hadn't been for my brother I would have died or been severely injured so I guess I was the accident prone one. I'm still clumsy.

Glad you all are much better! I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time ttc#2. I wish I could do something to help.

The letdown feeling was just a random incident yesterday 1x. Just threw me off for sure. I got my 1st pp AF back in August. My cycles have been around 33days on average since returning.

I'm waiting on E to poop so I can give baths. I am not wanting a poop in the tub incident like last weekend (she had already pooped that morning but had an early afternoon poo). I measured them all yesterday and E is the shortest at this age compared to her sister at 15 months. She has about 2 weeks until she's 15 months but still. I think E is going to be the "short" one but to be fair I think S and V will be giants lol. V is 45.5 in tall at 4.5 y.o. and S was 39in at nearly 3 y.o!!
 
Dobby hmmm...... maybe 24 hours??? I'm not really sure but I also feel like if someone cares they make time, ya know?
 
Also to be fair in this instance I checked his location because before he left he said he was coming back Friday. Then Friday he said the plane took off at like noon my time. But he never texted when he landed and I didn’t hear from him all day. My dad died on a business trip, so I checked to make sure his flight got in and was shocked it was in LA. I assumed layover or delayed from covid. But then I didn’t hear from him again when I woke up and he was like I’ll be back in the bay and I was like wait wtaf so I checked again and still LA. So yeah definitely OTT and one of my red flags for sure. I get really anxious when people travel. But when I checked he was in NY that was 100% to make sure he wasn’t lying about the business trip lol
 
Jk I unmatched him and got a ten minute long message that idk how I feel about it

ugggghhhhhhh I hate dating
 
Dobby :hugs: dating sucks. I wish there was some way to weed out the bad ones without any real effort, just press a button lol. I'm still hesitant with all the red flags you have gotten.
 
Right?! White chocolate is nasty. Only good in a white chocolate macadamia nut pizookie mmmmmmm. The drizzle on a strawberry is okay as long as it's just a little it but I'd never opt to do it myself. Dark chocolate dip with a milk chocolate drizzle! or vice versa! Buahahaha Jk. Like I said. Too much work for me.

Good call on waiting for AF to be over for more accurate measurements. Definitely keep us updated and keep up the great work!

Yay! Lol! Glad it worked out. I bet you’re selling yourself short ;) I’ve seen your cheesecake! Hahaha. A is on pb&j number four this morning. He doesn’t eat the jelly, but he insists it be there. So I basically just keep adding a pb slice to the existing jelly LOL

How big of a vacation are you thinking? Fun little weekend trip or a full shabang somewhere?

Wow! Tall girls! Love it!

Winter I agree. I’m sure in the moment it was terrifying as the parents, but once you look back it really makes for adorable stories haha.

Re dating honestly it feels like I can get a good guy who doesn’t match my lifestyle or a good guy who just wants something casual. Where are the good guys, who are responsible adults, and want to get married and maybe pop out a kid or two with me. Preferably one lol.

So the recap of his long message. He started out by apologizing to my entire family. Which was fine but then he also said he’s most interested in how I perceive things because end of day right now my opinion is most important to him. He did apologize for that coming off a bit “flippant” and obviously now that he knows his actions bothered my family that it will not happen again. But he said this (unpredictable schedule/lack of communication while traveling) is an ongoing issue that he hears from everyone: family, friends, his baby momma (btw he refers to her as his daughter’s mother/mom, I’m just h a**hat calling her the baby momma). And he said that his job is intense and if the CEO says he needs to travel to meet with investors/brokers/whoever then he’s not in a position to say no. But also that he loves his job and this has been a dream of his and he is working on boundaries with work but ultimately this is his dream job. So the issue with Friday was he flew to LA to meet with an investor, who then insisted he stay Saturday to go golfing. Which he supposedly hates golfing but there are just still a lot of business deals that are hashed out on the green. Then he said he loves our audio messages, but there isn’t a transcript so when he misses something (I have mine to save automatically but his is still on default to delete after listening) he’s sorry. And maybe ongoing if we’re scheduling then that should be in text vs audio. Then he ran through the days that I said I was available. Said what his current availability is and that rather than him suggesting a time, I have free pick right now. I tell him what works best for my family and me and he will block it off in his calendar (used some latin phrase that sounded like holy because I heard sancti in there). Then he apologized again for tossing out Sunday afternoon before actually confirming that he was free, and shocker I was right the HMB situation is gonna run into the afternoon. I can’t remember if there was more to the apology/solution portion. I don’t want to listen to it again right now. Just that he said he’s sorry he caused any stress or anxiety on my part because he knows I don’t sleep well when I’m stressed, so he hoped I was able to sleep ok. And that I am obviously a very special and loving person who doesn’t deserve that. I did not sleep well. Ftr. I got like 3 hours of sleep combined. And he said he understands if I want to bail but he would like to continue moving forward if I want to.

I’m still processing and I’m exhausted so idk. Gonna run it by the peanut gallery. You all are part of that ;)
My kneejerk reaction is:
1. If this is an ongoing issue with literally EvErYoNe, then do better
2. My fam's opinion is my opinion so get used to kissing their a**es
3. If he truly means he will be less laissez-faire with our schedules and time, then fine. He seemed to understand that the bulk of my frustration was him tossing out a time then not following up. So he said either he will give me his schedule and I can have my first dibs on it OR if he proposes a time in the future he will keep it blocked off until we confirm one way or the other but no more tossing out times before he actually makes sure it's free first. ETA I didn’t tell him what I wanted a solution last night just that I was upset. And I was thinking all hours of twilight and dawn what I would want to change moving forward and that was exactly it. I would want him to only propose times that were free, treat tentative plans as blocked off times, and then honor any plans we make. So he does get big points in my book for proposing that and more.

BFF 1: says give him a month to follow through on bring better with communication then re-assess
BFF 2: said girl marry him rn
BFF 3: said take s* one day at a time. If I trust that it’s a sincere apology then trust it. But every guy she’s know that travels frequently for work is a cheater so she’s like be wary
 
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In other news... my discharge (not discharge exactly I was checking my bag for blood) is straight up yellow guys LOL. Like you know when you’re sick and your boogers are all yellow. Y’all... it looks like that....
 
Mmm fluek yup chocolate all day. If i can stop eating it for a few days the cravings stop but i always go back like a proper sugar addict.

yay, I’m not the only one who almost drowned myself in a pool! I was really young, taking swim lessons… I was sitting on the wall waiting for my turn and thought to myself, hey, this looks really easy. I bet I could do it no problem! And launched myself into the pool. The lifeguard didn’t see me and my mom was talking to another mom, but my brother was there and ran over to my mom. He said “mom mom!” And she shushed him (“Shh, mommy’s talking”)…then he says, “but Mom, gigs is drowning.” My mom looked up, saw me splashing around in the water, and ran and jumped in with her clothes on and saved me. I actually remember it quite well. I was sinking to the bottom, and when I hit i would push off the ground, propel myself to the surface, take a breath, and sink again. It was definitely above my head but only 4 ft deep or so.

dobs what did his message say?
 
Sorry dobs just saw you posted, will have to read and respond later
 
If you meet in person, and click and then all is drama-free, then great... I would just be weary at this point, because this is a lot of drama considering y'all haven't even met yet. I was team "give him a go", but the more drama that comes into it, the less appealing it all seems. Just my two cents! Always hard to judge from afar, though.

Maybe you could do two small vacations, flueky? Do a weekend away with hubby and a few days at the beach or something with the girls? We spent 4/5 (I think) days at the beach last summer and that was more than enough with a kid. Had a great time, but any longer wouldn't have added anything. Could've cut a day off and still had a great time. Just depends how much travel would be involved to get there in the first place! VRBO listings often give a pretty good indication of how toddler friendly they are.

I think I've basically convinced OH to come and speak to the fertility doctor. So, will call and make an appt for sometime in March, and that will give us some time to deal with this loss and regroup. I like the idea of it on some level, of course. But also need to actually find out how it all happens and what it would involve. In my mind it will totally work and solve all our problems, but also have to consider that there are no guarantees. I spent a while just now reading about the genetic screening that they can do, it's super interesting. If you're interested:
Spectrum – Preimplantation Genetic Testing (PGT) | Natera
 
Sorry on my phone. Yeah, honestly I’m down to tread cautiously. If I told him everything about my life, my drama far outweighs his. But I’m surprised by my typically most young bestie really coming through with some wisdom. She said my scorn is disproportionate to what he did. And his apology far exceeds what he did and led to a resolution. And of course my parents are not thrilled because they want perfect but also they’re not exactly models of healthy relationships either. But ultimately he immediately plans to rectify his behavior in accordance to what I want after taking accountability and being honest that this is an area of growth for him. Then she reminded me to appreciate the back and forth for its healthiness. There is a lot of drama and baggage that actively comes to the table. But if we can continue to work through it in a healthy way then I’m ok with it.

AB27DB08-A3CC-4815-85C6-C5515D88E342.jpeg
 
Okay home now. Gosh, that 49ers game was such a disappointment! WTH! I cannot believe how they played after their second touchdown. So freaking sloppy. UGH. Whatever.

Gigs that’s scary! Do you have any residual issues with water or no?

Winter I love that idea of two mini vacations for Flueky. I’m so glad that OH will go to the fertility doctor with you. That was a great plan to schedule it a little out to give yourself time to process and heal. That’s really interesting. I’ve heard of Natera in general, but I didn’t know that PGT was something they had now. If it’s done on embryos, I’m assuming this would be done in conjunction with IVF? I know you mentioned wanting genetic testing if you go the IVF route.

AFM A has been a wreck. He hasn't napped all weekend. He's really struggling with this new reality. He understands that there's grandma's house and grandpa's house. But he doesn't understand/like they all the people he loves aren't in whatever house he's in. So he won't calm down enough to nap then turns into an exhausted terror. My mom is so much happier. She actually sat in the living room, tv off, and talked to me/A the whole time we were there. She even made dinner for A and went on a walk with us. She looks much more alert and the color is back in her face. She says she's texting her friends finally and she's actually going outside and enjoying the sunshine.

I will say seeing that house hurts. It's so perfect for A and me. I wish I could afford something like that for him and the dogs. For perspective, it's a 2 bed 2 bath with a detached garage. less than 1000 sq feet on a 6500 sqft lot. Without being updated on the MLS for the second bath remodel, it's priced at 2.65 million.
 
Dobs I would let your OB know about the discharge if you’ve never seen that before, just in case.

Also, excuse me, a 1,000 square foot house is 2.65 million dollars?!?!?! My apartment is 800 square feet and it’s small af ($1,730 a month, all but electric included).
In my state for just a little bit more (2.75 million) you can get this straight up mansion:
1E69E928-EDAF-4133-8E34-8B00CED13C9A.png
 
I feel like I may have but I don’t remember what it means. I emailed her and (poor lady) attached a photo. I did see online that sometimes yellow can precede a period so wishful thinking.

technically it’s 944 :rofl: I wish I was kidding lol. I’m not. Stupid bay area is stupid. It’s not even in the hills or previous Palo Alto eye roll. Even my condo is 1200 sqft but ugh I want the yard. It has a nice size backyard then a huge side yard that my mom will build a dog run in and put in a play area. She also wants a swing set out front but idk I don’t like him playing out front even though it’s a cul-de-sac
 

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