General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[DobbyForever]

Yeah I mean it’s all frozen or pantry and planned out for you. So it’s super easy to follow. She doesn’t exercise either so it was just the JC program. She just did the meals vs actually checking in with someone because got tired of being told to also exercise she’s thinking about starting up again.

Honestly don’t be hard on yourself. I just started to workout again after a month of sulking. Hugs. Definitely couldn’t hurt. I know there’s also a lot of like Atkins or WW branded products when I’m at the grocery store. The only issue I have with the frozen food is the sodium and preservatives downside. I’d definitely suggest a protein shake in the morning (just watch out for added sugars) to help mitigate the appetite

Glad to hear that your son is doing much better today! Yeah, it’s all sketchy. Honestly I try not to think about it and I’m good with wiping trauma lol. I don’t remember exact dates. I just remember going in for my prenatal and they told me I mmc then not too long later A tested positive and I got his results right after I went in to take the mifepristone. But his exposure was a week before his pcr and he had been symptomatic the week of my prenatal. Idk. ETA I took like 3-4 rapid tests from Christmas Eve through 1/9 and all were negative. I had a pcr 1/9 and 1/24 both negative as well. ETAA my family also did pcrs and rapid tests and nobody caught it but we all are recently boostered

Lol but I DO NOT trust myself haha. Clearly my picker is broken the only reasons that I can think are he’s an absentee or part time dad OR there was DV. But if there was DV, she wouldn’t be supervising him in her home. He’s said “picking up my daughter for dinner” “taking her to HMB” but I never asked/he never explicitly said if these short outings are supervised. But he did say she lives with mom full time and they’re working towards setting up how to move forward with him having the daughter at his place without mom. I’d have to go back and listen to the message again. And that it’s tricky because they want consistency for her so she knows when to expect to be with him at his place but his job schedule makes consistency difficult. Which is excuses to me. Honestly. Like she’s letting him get away with it and he’s not taking the full plunge into 50/50. And I do wonder if that’s part of my appeal. I obviously have my kid full time, which he’s said is admirable. I have a teacher schedule, and if I was his partner then he could easily get 50/50 because if he traveled last minute I don’t. That was a huge draw of teacher, the hours are great for motherhood lol. But he’s made it clear it’s a complicated situation and girls have obviously (and probably rightly) bolted after hearing it

 

[gigglebox]

huge hugs again Dobs, i see the ticker is gone, that must have been hard. Did you find time to get to Monterey? I was going to say what Winter did about your brother -- gotta rip the bandaid off. Honestly to me it sounds like he's already had a decision made, and calling it quits is something he's not looking forward to, so he's avoiding it. The weight lifted he will feel when he "gets it over with" is going to be so reliving, I'd bet. Good luck to him. Regarding OA....I mean I'd still leave him in with the option for a date and to explain things, but if it were me I'd probably really ease up with putting in effort on my end.

Regarding the name "Winter" -- I actually think it's quite a pretty name. I think Shezza has a "Winter" but it's "Wynter" (at least I think I saw that on a stocking in the photo). I could totally see me being the type to use it but I think hubby wouldn't be keen on. I mean we had "Ember" for our girls name so really, how different is Winter? OMG wouldn't those be great for girl twins?? *melting*

Winter for you too, friend. I am so sorry, the fact is you're grieving and that tends to make us desperate for answers. I'm sorry to hear you're sick, but hope it's mild and you get those lovely antibodies. I haven't heard that the 'vid itself can cause m/c but had heard "the jab" might have fertility issues as a side effect; I'm not sure if that's with keeping pregnancy or just in trying to get pregnant, honestly I haven't researched it extensively myself. Hopefully that's not the case though, but I know you are eager to know why to help prevent it from happening in the future. I am hoping analyzing things this time might shine some light on what's going on, if it's an easy fix, and then to provide you with said fix. Regarding weight loss, have you looked into keto? It's hard if you're a carb lover but it makes soooo much sense, especially if you know how toxic sugar is...I know all to well yet here I am eating fistfulls of m&m's haha. I'd like to try it myself, and likely will. I just need to kick my sugar habit which is so much easier said than done.

I'm so sorry, I forget about who asked me about actively ttc'ing but it's a solid maybe. I don't want to have to choose, I just want it to happen, lol!! but I think hubby could be convinced. He's just concerned about things, one of which is his shop which is expanding soon, and how that factors into feeding another mouth, time, etc. I personally worry about what it would mean for my side business (probably means I'd have to let it go), so, per the norm, we're just both on the fence but also acknowledge that our time frame is rapidly shrinking.

I think I've mentioned it but one of my fears is having an "oopsie baby" years down the road when I feel too old or the age gap between kids is too big. I don't know. I won't start getting into the pros and cons again lol; here's to hoping we're just knocked up now and I can put all the waffling to bed hahahha

 

[DobbyForever]

Yeah. I took it out a few days ago. 13w2. Just reached a point where it hurt more than it helped. I haven’t. She’s still in the freezer. At this rate, it’ll be spring break. Could be nice. She might get the same burial I want. With orcas.

yeah I’m over it. I’m not going out of my way or obsessing. And this was his freebie. Honestly he has til Monday night to set a second date

love the ember and winter combo fire and ice hehe

Re vaccines anecdotal of course but all of my friends are vaxxed because teachers so we all went in early and in fear they’d send us back to work. I know a handful of women who conceived post jab and had perfectly healthy pregnancies. My friend is like 17w now after being vaccinated and it took her nearly 2 years to conceive with several losses. Another got it shortly before she got pregnant and she just had her son but too long ago. Don’t know if she got the booster though. Really hard to say one way or the other without the time and research into it though. I think the vaccine prevented me from being hospitalized/sick. I’m more inclined to think exposure to covid was what took Setsuna from me than my vaccine or flu shot. Or she just wasn’t meant to be. But yeah idk I’m gonna bow out though because makes me sad to think about it.

I like your idea of “ntnp” until a certain point in life. There’s always concerns with adding a kid and how feasible it is, but you make it work. So I love the idea of you two being open to it and np and just seeing where it takes you but being good with either outcome.

 

[DobbyForever]

I think I’m also just bummed that if our first date is the weekend of 2/5 I’m not getting flowers on valentines like if we went out tomorrow and he’s a try hard I might have gotten flowers for v-day I think to date only one bf has ever sent flowers to my job. The Canadian. Ugh I really wish he wasn’t a pathological cheater/liar and I was less toxic. Sigh. Send myself some flowers at this point

We did a red for Ed day and my friend was joking I was early for Valentine’s and I’m like lol I wear black on v-day fts I’m bitter and lonely

 

[WinterBub]

Frozen and/or pre-planned is my kind of diet I am a carb lover, but I would love to do keto... Supposing someone else measures and makes all my meals. I basically have to do something, so think I'll start with some classic careful calorie planning and despite the sodium etc will buy some frozen meals so that everything is all pre-done and I basically can't cheat then. I'd like to drop at least some of it fast, despite the drawbacks to that approach and then work on long term maintenance. That's maybe where I would consider keto etc.

Thanks for the hugs and sympathy. it's much appreciated. I will have to call my OB to say I tested + for covid. OH told me not to, in case they push my surgery date back.... But I figured honesty is usually the best policy. I have to do a covid test before it anyway, so would rather have a positive recorded now in case I'm still positive then and they don't do the surgery because they think I'm just coming down with it. Just excellent timing for all of this. I tend to think my issue will be a genetic issue with the baby (like last time). But odd timing re: this for sure. Sorry for reopening that wound, Dobby And jeepers, the age issue comes up fast. I had just turned 35 when I had the M/C and now have had two MMC all at 35. I'd like to think of something to do to commemorate my losses. But it's hard to think of something that i would like vs just makes me sad. Maybe a necklace.

I asked if your DH would be down to sway or if that was just something you were entertaining on the DL. I agree that ideally you're already in the family way, and then these decisions are all done.

 

[WinterBub]

Oh, Dobby- Valentine's Day is so overrated. Single or in a relationship, I've never cared for it!!! The exception to that being the way it is done for kindergartners I love them handy out little cards to all their friends. That's so much more touching and meaningful to me than OH buying something! I am actually quite excited for LO to start preschool and get into all the adorable stuff like that.

 

[DobbyForever]

Haha I feel you. I think though lean cuisine or some brands are probably better about watching the sodium than others. Carbs are heavenly. I’m anti keto, and my understanding is if you’re bf, pregnant, or ttc is to avoid keto. I don’t like it because it raised my blood pressure and just overall messed with my heart. Thankfully now that I’ve been off of it for almost a year, my blood pressure is finally back to normal. I do have blood pressure issues in my family so I was probably more prone to developing problems with keto than the average bear. I know different versions allow different amounts of carbs. So just play around with what works for you. All just an experiment. Definitely keep us updated

NW I’m just back to avoiding my grief so

Aww well they’re saying now only time isolate like 5 days. Even if they still said 10, if your surgery is 2 weeks out then it’d be fine IMO. And you’d be naturally immune and not contagious, safest patient ever!

Yeah it’s hard. I like memories vs something tangible.

Omg I love you. I hate those f*ing cards lol. I loved them as a kid but A doesn’t care/doesn’t play with the trinkets or eat the sweets so it ends up in the bin. I love V Day because I love spoiling people. I’ve had a few romantic gestures but I’m usually the one making the spectacle and showering my partner. But yeah it should be like that all the time not for a Hallmark holiday. Last year I watched my favorite anime and cooked myself filet mignon and lobster with chocolate strawberries and wine in a bubble bath for dessert. Blissss

 

[DobbyForever]

My favorite valentine to date was my mom sending flowers to my dorm my freshman year though

also false alarm dry as a bone and cramps are subsiding

 

[Flueky88]

Dobby what is your favorite anime? I don't know ow what I'd say my favorite is but I've been watching AoT. I avoided it for years because the titans freaked me out graphics wise but I decided to give it a chance. Also your Vday last year sounds divine

Winter I did WW but didn't buy all their meals. Never did a meal weight loss program. I second Dobby about being careful with all the sodium in some of freezer meals. I am team do what's best for you, but I don't think keto is best for most people. I am a firm believer in moderation of anything and trying to make better choices. Potato chips vs a baked potato, chocolate vs apple/strawberry/etc. I definitely have a little bit of chocolate about every day but it keeps me from going overboard. I prefer dark chocolate too so try to stick to it.

I'm sorry about Covid. I would definitely tell the OB office. Hope you don't get really ill and glad LO is fine mostly better.

Gigs, ah well I'm looking forward to your testing. Are you symptom spotting? It's so hard not to. Hell I still symptom spot


Yes, I am honestly glad she had an opinion on her theme because I'm like "Ugh, don't know what to choose anymore". Marshall is her favorite on paw patrol and she is my clumsy one lol


AFM taxes practically done. I'm just waiting on a few forms from the bank. They barely took anything from. DH so I was scared we would have to pay but looks like we still get a decent amount back. I think he's going to pay his truck off this year. I want to put some back for a nice vacation. Just have to decide when, where.

Odd question, anyone get that tingly milk letdown feeling or like your breasts filled up with milk during your LP? I don't recall it normally. I only BF 1 to 2x day but haven't had that feeling in over 6 months.

 

[DobbyForever]

Family straw poll is ditch him. They were fine with bailing for his daughter. Not fine with what happened this morning taking Sunday off the table without talking about it given that it impacted my plans, my mom’s plans, and brothers’ plans. They said it’s “flighty” and “rude”

 

[DobbyForever]

Flueky re the let down I never noticed it until last cycle with Setsuna and now I feel it all the time

 

[PrettyInInk42]

Quick post for Winter while I catch up...

It took 2 months between the loss and getting pg with Matthew.
Baby stopped growing Nov 20, 18-ish
Passed everything naturally Dec 12, 18
BFP with Matthew Feb 10, 19

Sorry to hear about your Covid. FX everyone gets better soon with no lingering issue.

Weight loss could potentially help you have a sticky bean. I did keto and intermittent fasting 2 summers ago. Lost 41lbs in the first 3 months. Kinda plateaued after that for a while cuz I got complacent. Then, when I went back to work after my mat leave, I just did IF (and went from sitting around to being physically active due to my job) and lost another 20 over four or five months.

Here are some before and afters (taken 366 days apart) from my weight loss IG account. Obviously, I'm not posting on there now, but if you want the name to look back on and follow once I'm done BFing, I don't mind sharing it.

 

[gigglebox]

Dobs do you think you’ll cut it off then? Honestly I lean towards agreeing but still interested in an explanation

Weird fluek on your let down sensation. I can’t even remember what that feels like. That must be annoying! Are you actually leaking or anything or is it just the feeling?

Regarding gender swaying I think hubs would be down to try it. In fact during our conversation about it when we both established we don’t know what we want, I think I said something about having a fourth son and he said, “yeah, but it could be our daughter…” I think we both feel like we’re missing out on the experience of raising a daughter. But I also feel slightly wrong trying to sway the odds…

yall are killing with your hatred for valentines day! Saint Valentines was kind of a badA*. He was a rebel who was marrying devoted couples at a time when it was outlawed. Who doesn’t love a rebel, especially one that fights for love? Lol

plus and excuse to eat chocolate

 

[gigglebox]

Winter did you have any difficulty getting pregnant with your first?
I do worry about similar difficulties myself also being 35

dang Pink look at that difference!!!! Well done!

 

[Flueky88]

Gigs, no leaking. I only leaked a handful of times after V and never again. Pretty thankful though. I'm just chalking it down to just random thing.

Oh that is interesting about his response. I am thinking he is leaning a but more towards wanting to try. When we found out E was a girl, DH was actually considering a 4th. At the time I was felt a pretty strong "no" on that but I didn't say so and let him work out his feelings and grieving the loss of a son. Obviously he changed his mind.

Pretty awesome transformation pics! I wish I had taken photos from last year. I was too disgusted with myself.

Dobby, sorry you still get that feeling. I'm thinking just a random thing. It hasn't seemed to continue.

 

[DobbyForever]

I don’t watch a ton either. I watched the mainstream stuff as a kid. Pokémon, Sailor Moon, and Yu-Gi-Oh. Then a few of the ones that came on late on Cartoon Network like Inuyasha and Rurouni Kenshin. Then a couple less popular like Samurai Girl and Love Hina. This one is Yashahime no Hanyou. It’s a sequel to Inuyasha that follows Inuyasha’s daughter and Sesshomaru’s two daughter. I had a massive fictional character crush o Sesshomaru as a kid, and ironically the episode that came out last year that weekend featured a lot of him Perfection. My ex used to watch AoT next to me, but he was already a few episodes in so I never got into it. My brother likes it as well.

Oh gotta say I’m also pro dark chocolate. And pure coconut water. My pcp had me drinking a bottle every day and eating a square to help after keto messed up my heart. But now I just do dark chocolate everything hehe.

I’m so glad you asked if Gigs was symptom spotting cuz I desperately wanted to know as well lol

Awww honestly aren’t they all a little clumsy at toddler age

I do hope that thinks work out to go on a vacation soon! You more than earned it!

Did I miss it?! Does hubs want another?! Is this happening or just musing?!

Pretty don’t know that I’ve seen your progress pics side by side, huge kudos to you! Also always love your hair too hehe and how DS is in there. I think I have your personal but I’m honestly (and obviously) just on insta for the reels

Gigs that’s fair. Do you think maybe you’re a bit scared to say you two really want a girl so you’re bracing for a fourth son? It would be frustrating to commit to the idea of a daughter and away and it not come to fruition. I don’t know how successful swaying is. When I had so much sex LOL. O-1, -2, -4, -6. Setsuna on O+1 I thought she’d be a boy going off that whole make sperm are faster. So who knows. In any case, I’m gonna send pink vibes to the universe for you in terms of two pink lines on the hpts next week and then pinky girl vibes.

Lol I actually don’t really know the history of Valentines. I just know I get dumped a lot right before V-Day or I’m single or my bfs suck

I got increasingly annoyed. So I left him a 9m CTJ audio. I want an explanation but I barely slept last night. I was so stressed out. I listened to our audios repeatedly trying to find where wires got crossed and came to the conclusion he just dropped the ball on communication. I want an explanation but I’m not going to go mad without one. My tone wasn’t combative so I’m hoping I get one though. But I was up crying at nearly 4:30am so needless to say my instincts now say run. Knowing me, if he gives me some bullshit excuse and goes above and beyond to apologize id let it go this one time if it was a fluke. But yeah given we’ve never met, then I’ll just text to bounce.

But red flag on the play. I did check again to see if he was home and he’s turned off his location. So this is the second time I’ve expressed concern and asked for explanation and suddenly his location disappeared. Like coincidence? Or shady af. Granted, I shouldn’t be using it as a crutch to verify he is where he says he is. So. There’s that too red flag on myself LOL

Anyway it’s 6:05 and he hasn’t said anything. So idk. Usually he messages at like 5-6am even on weekends. But yeah he could be asleep. Or thinking omg this girl is PISSED run. Or thinking how best to respond without digging himself into a deeper hole than he’s already in. But our brunch plans that were cancelled were at 9, so if I don’t hear before 9 he’s out of the doghouse and onto the shit list

But at least dinner with the fam was nicest. First one since my mom moved to the new house. A was really upset that she wasn’t there so now to see how he reacts to her but new house.

 

[DobbyForever]

Fitting. On exactly one month, I can say my hpt is now 100% negative

 

[gigglebox]

Glad you had nice family time dobs! Hm yeah red flag and lol at “red flag on myself” hahhahah yeah maybe a little bit

i forgot mention the symptom spotting. That’s a big fat no over here. Honestly I feel remarkably not pregnant at all. My telltale pregnancy symptom in the tww is a lack of appetite starting about 5-6dpo. None of that happening. Also I’ll spare y’all the details but I get some digestive issues and that hasn’t happened either. I’ll be pleasantly surprised at a bfp but not expecting it at all. Hopeful, but I’m not going to kid myself on my chances haha

 

[gigglebox]

Dobs sorry about the test, bittersweet I’m sure

 

[DobbyForever]

That’s fair. Keep level headed. Still resting tomorrow or think you’ll hold off a bit longer?

Honestly I could make a killing at a Stanford game passing out all my own red flags

yeah definitely bittersweet. I feel really emotional pms-y, my back is killing me, and the cramps come and go. I miss her so much but I want to move forward for her and for A and for me