General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[gigglebox]

Ok, so, definitely not pregnant. Did the last test for this cycle, but I used on of the FRER dip sticks that came in that multi-pack, and WOW they're awful!! Just about as good as an internet cheapie. I feel ripped off honestly. First off, they're thin just like an ic. I dipped it and it took several minutes for the test line to even appear, and then several more for it to get dark, which it never really got all that dark. NOTHING compared to the actual FRER tests. I'd hate to try and spot a line on that thing if I ever had too. They might be good for repeat testing after you get a positive but I don't even know about that....so my vote is just spend a few more bucks and get 5 FRER's if you must, not that box. Or better yet get your 2 pack of FRER and wally cheapies. They have been good to me, I think I may just get those going forward if they're available (they sell out a lot at my store).

Anyway I also read a very interesting article/study last night. It was concerning implantation date vs. pregnancy success. With a sampling of about 189 pregnancies, this study showed that successful pregnancies were most likely at 8 and 9 dpo (measured by picking up hcg in the urine), with, like, a 12% early loss. 10dpo went up to 25% early loss, then about 50% at 11dpo and it just went up from there. This was interesting to me because when I was looking at tests on CTP for late implanters (because I'm obsessive), I definitely noticed women who had their first tests at 11dpo+ seemed to have a lot of chemicals (not always but often). Anyway it was compelling so I thought I'd share. Also I read the actual case study, not a regurgitation of it.

Winter TBH about speech it *may* have been helpful in the start but I don't really think it was as time went on. I think it was really just a matter of him aging and figuring it out. We only had once a week 45 minute sessions, and then nothing over the summers. Have you made any decision about the OB?

Dobs, what is Archive 81 and what are you watching it on? hmm day 25 looks almost positive to me, so maybe that was when you ov'ed? That seems like a reasonable lp doesn't it? Maybe a little on the short side....hmm hope you're skin issues subside before Sunday! Hormonal related, i assume...?

 

[gigglebox]

OH also forgot to mention!!! Hubby and I were up last night buying vitamins (is that weird?) as we are out and are trying some new things (he's on a health kick right now). So we were getting multivitamins and he said, "we could use everything, I think the only thing we don't really need is folate" and I just kind of bit my tongue....and he says, "what??" I said I didn't want to say, and then I was like, "well........folate's good for women making babies..." He then smirks and says, "well you're not making babies." Then immediately he clicked on the ingredients list and checked to make sure it had folate. then together we did a quick search to see how much I would need, and then he says, "there ya go! It has enough" and we moved on. So again king of mixed signals is dishing out the mixed signals, lol. I'd bet he would go for it next cycle if I insist. I'm still so hesitant though. Especially days like to day when the kids are being so crazy!

 

[gigglebox]

Junky frer dip stick in case y’all wanted to see. I took it over an hour ago, at the 5mm that line was about half the darkness.

 

[gigglebox]

OMG I just checked walmart’s website to write a review and it’s now half the price I paid!!! Wtaf?!?!!

 

[DobbyForever]

Gigs noooo I hate it when that happens! I'm so sorry. Yeah, I've seen the frer strips and they look sketchy. I'll stick to the usual ones.

I love the vitamin story! I can see the mixed signals, but it sounds to me like you both actually do want a fourth but are just nervous to fully commit to the idea of trying. Super cute that y'all looked up the folate needs and bought some! I think that's a green light! I do hear you on the some days are so crazy, but your kids are still young. There will be a time when they're more self sufficient, and I think that's when you'll really look back and be thankful for that fourth. But only you can know that really. I'm just talking out my booty.

Oh I wonder if I read the same one. I had seen a few websites that talked about the late implantation having a higher frequency of loss.

Archive 81 is on Netflix. Might be a Netflix original series. It's about a guy who restores things: tapes, videos, photographs. And he's hired to restore a bunch of old tapes in a super mysterious fashion and uncovers some cult stuff. It's a drama with a lot of like mystery. I like those kinds of keep you guessing along with the main character shows.

Definitely hormone related. It's better but not amazing today. I am due to charcoal mask tomorrow night. The issue is to not pop or pick because I scar and it takes forever to heal. you can see a bunch of dark spots from when I was popping shits from August when I broke out from masking all day every day.

AFM just busy busy. A likes to cook his own pasta. Lol basically I let him pour it in and stir it haha. Gonna tackle pb&j. I know my friend has her kid make her own. OA did check in yesterday shortly after I b*ed and moaned here lol. Then we nailed down location. Japanese restaurant in downtown. My boss joked that 47 year olds have deeper pockets than 35 year olds, so he better take me somewhere nice I've never been, but it looks yummy and like a cute spot. Most likely going to end up outside. They closed the street, and they're still doing outdoor dining in that area since it's been working so well. A lot of the shops do hybrid because they're pretty small so it's doubled some of their capacity haha. Anyway. I'm excited. He left me a message not too long ago to apologize for being mia. He may need to travel again, and I can tell it's weighing on him. He had a lot of travel already scheduled for the next month, and I can just hear it in his heart that he really doesn't want to go this time. But he did promise nothing is getting in the way of Sunday.

 

[DobbyForever]

But yeah he keeps referring to our date as sacrosanct and the sapio in me just melts every time he says it and quality time is my top love language (closely followed by physical touch) so it definitely gets the gears going

 

[gigglebox]

I’m in such anticipation of this date, I can only imagine how you must be feeling!!! That show sounds pretty interesting. We don’t have Netflix anymore though :/ Not that I have time to watch any adult shows anyway…

Omg so many feels with what your wrote Dobby. You hit the nail on the head about our feelings and that’s very true about them being more self-sufficient as they age. I may even read that statement to my husband. I do worry about all the work involved but also realize that by the time another baby comes, our youngest will be nearly or older than 4, and this kid already gets his own water and snacks (he has so much gumption!). He’s nearly potty trained too so no two in diapers like I had with ds2 & 3. Also ds1 is old enough that a lot of his lessons are self-guided with me there for help, and eventually they’ll all be there.

ok I’m all in again lmao

 

[WinterBub]

Devastating- my tablet died and I just lost my reply will try to recreate.

That's a huge bummer about the tests, giggle booooo! And sorry that it wasn't to be this month. from what you say, I think your OH is signalling that he'd go for it if you really want to, but doesn't want to be the one pushing it. Hopefully y'all will try try next month. Do you think that you'll home school for forever? Just curious if you think you'd want them to go to a church/private/public school at any point. There's a church school locally that do 3 days in school, 2 days at home. That sounded like an interesting concept.

Glad to hear that the date is set in stone, Dobby! I really hope that it goes well and you guys click in person. What are you going to wear? I still remember what I wore to meet my OH for the first time. Although he doesn't I wore this low cut pretty pink shirt. He insists that I was wearing black?! He wore a black shirt and jeans, so maybe his memory has us mixed up also- I love that you're teaching A to cook

Interesting that you guys have had such a different experience of speech therapy. I suppose that it depends on your specific child and their specific needs. I did get good tips about pointing to my mouth and over pronouncing things to help him (and that has really helped him). But the sessions were honestly a lot of dead silence while he got super into a toy. he's booked into preschool for next year, so not sure whether to go back to speech therapy between now and then, or to just take the tips I got and use those at home. My OH thinks like your son, giggle- it is just a matter of time and him working it out.

I am going to call the new OB and make an appt for March or April. I did set up an appt with the fertility Dr for us both to go in late March and discuss options etc. It give some something to look forward to as I'm really dreading the next week
I'm back to wondering whether I would have a healthy baby if I lose a good chunk of weight and try the thyroid meds. But I don't know... it's scary to think about after two MMC. Like you say, can always go back to my old OB, so worth a try to see what I think of this new guy. The last thing my OB said at the last appt was "well, you had one healthy baby..." Which I kind of took to be that she's not super interested in helping me find out what is happening or how to work out what to do next. It came across as a final statement on the topic iykwim.

 

[WinterBub]

Have any of you heard of 'Factory Direct Jewelry'? Is it a legit company?!

 

[Flueky88]

Winter haven't heard of factory direct jewelry. If I'm usually curious if something is legit I will Google like the company name and the word scam and/or bbb.

I think that's a good idea to see a different OB. I think a good bedside manners is important especially for an OB. I have heard that low thyroid can cause issues so maybe that will help. I think you mentioned before you were about 15lb overweight by BMI. I really wouldn't think that much would be impacting fertility. I'm no fertility specialist though.

Dobby super excited for your date tomorrow! I hope it goes well. Also, glad your bro broke it off. With everything you told us I think it was the best for him.

Gigs sorry for the bfns. It does sound like DH is ambivalent about #4. Hoping you get some legit BD in this new cycle.

Pretty, you are pretty close to Viability Day now? I feel like your pregnancy has flown by.


Sorry for the crap replies. I have been reading along but not retaining much. Kids are sick. Negative for covid, just colds I think. I have caught it as well work was pretty busy as well.

Shae, have been thinking about you. Hope you are okay.

 

[gigglebox]

Winter I will have to try that speech tip with ds2 who struggles with The R and L sounds. My understanding is that’s a common one until about age 6 but we’re trying to tackle it now. Can I ask what your little one is in speech for? It’s ok of you’d rather not discuss, and sorry to make you repeat yourself if you already said.

Hmmm interesting comment from your ob. Maybe she didn’t mean “you should just appreciate the healthy kid you have and move on”, but rather “you have a healthy kid so we know you can have healthy babies” kind of thing…?

 

[gigglebox]

On no Fluek! I’m sorry you’ve got the ick going around your house. I hope whatever it is it short lived.

dobs I echo the above, what’s the date outfit?

so interesting development over here…
We had a family gathering for my nephew’s bday and my SIL is pregnant! I am excited for her but definitely feeling a smidge jealous…I had hubs attention alone later and jokingly said, “we can’t let them one up us!” To which he replied, “relax lady, they’ll just be tied.” I just shrugged and dropped it, but later he came up to me amd said, “You really want another?” I just smiled and nodded. He said, “Did you consult your mother?” And laughed. I said, “heck no I’m not going to consult my mother! She thinks everything we do is a terrible decision anyway.” We both laughed and that was all we talked about it today. But since his brother is working on #3, I’d wager that helps! I am really thinking we may go for it, at least this next month unless anything drastic changes. Ahhhhh so nervously excited!

 

[DobbyForever]

Ahhhh gigs that’s so exciting!!!! I love that story hehe definitely sounds like ttc is on the table!!!!

Re speech it does honestly work out eventually or the delay becomes passing IMO. A wasn’t talking and now that he is, it’s mostly unintelligible unless you’re familiar with him. And even then I’d say that I only understand half of it.

Fluek hope you all are on the mend soon! Glad it’s not covid

Winter I agree I do wonder if she meant because you had a healthy pregnancy and child that she thinks you can have another vs be thankful for what you have. But even then I can understand the frustration because obviously you’ve had a difference experience since so you’d prefer something more proactive than passive. Hugs

afm I’m so tired been up since 4am. Didn’t nap. Having coffee with Silver Fox because I don’t ever learn. I’d probably DTD with him if I wasn’t with AF. Not that it’s a deterrent to him. So I intentionally did not landscape my bits and he said we can just chill at Starbucks since I’m a horn dog anyway left my s* at home so my mom had to bring me makeup and I ran to kohl’s to grab clothes then target for hair conditioner and boots. As for date tomorrow, I have very few cute clothes and no time to shop. So I’ll be repeating last year’s first date with TB outfit lol

 

[WinterBub]

Hi Flueky! sorry that you're all sick. Everything has been covid, covid, covid for so long now that we forget there are other regular old viruses out there, too. Hope things aren't too miserable and you're all back to 100% shortly. And fwiw- I'm 100% sure that we had omicron, and it was honestly nothing. I had aches for a day, and a headache for a couple of days and that was it. Minimal cold type symptoms and never a fever. LO had red cheeks and clearly felt Ill for 24ish hours. After that was a bit grumpy for another day or so, and a little bit of coughing overnight. Both of us completely better within a week. I'm sure OH had it, and he had the most cold symptoms (still has a cough) but he actually never tested positive Just sharing as I really didn't know what to expect. Glad I didn't have a worse experience with the whole loss of taste and smell thing. Apparently that's rare with Omicron.

Re: the OB. The comment definitely came across as a final comment. She'd just said that we don't know why this happens, but it is likely my age/egg quality. Then made that comment. It's entirely possible that I just have eggs older than my age (I'm still 35), but I think it's weird to go from breezy pregnancy to nothing but problems so fast was he my last good egg then by coincidence?! at the very least, I want to look into things because my window will close if it hasn't already. Will see what the fertility Dr says, and see if a new OB has a different approach to my issue.

Oooo, a new baby in the family! Do they have other kids? It does seem like your OH is mulling it over, and would go for it if you decide you want to

My DS has issues with pronouncing things, basically. He understands pretty much anything you say (including complex instructions), but can't get his words out. We understand him like 80% of the time, but a stranger often does not. He often drops the middle sound in a word, so "diaper" is "die-er", or he simply uses the wrong sound for some words- so "go" comes out as "do" and "Paw Patrol" is "taw a-toll". He is improving, but is simply behind where he should be at almost 3. I do think he will get there, and the overpronouncing is helpful. His bday is in spring, so he will be young for his class at school. My thought is to also consider having him do Pre-K twice (at two different schools). At least if he's still behind by then. I was old for my class, and always thought it was a good thing. That would then in theory give him an extra year to work it out. Will see what happens when he starts school.

Oooo, I like the outfit where you're wearing the white cardigan, Dobby. You look nice in black, too. But I like the way the white frames your face. Just my two cents! And I love those boots. I'm team no meet Silver Fox, but I'm guessing that's already too late to put a stop to!!!

 

[tdog]

Ahhhh gigs that’s so exciting!!!! I love that story hehe definitely sounds like ttc is on the table!!!!

Re speech it does honestly work out eventually or the delay becomes passing IMO. A wasn’t talking and now that he is, it’s mostly unintelligible unless you’re familiar with him. And even then I’d say that I only understand half of it.

Fluek hope you all are on the mend soon! Glad it’s not covid

Winter I agree I do wonder if she meant because you had a healthy pregnancy and child that she thinks you can have another vs be thankful for what you have. But even then I can understand the frustration because obviously you’ve had a difference experience since so you’d prefer something more proactive than passive. Hugs

afm I’m so tired been up since 4am. Didn’t nap. Having coffee with Silver Fox because I don’t ever learn. I’d probably DTD with him if I wasn’t with AF. Not that it’s a deterrent to him. So I intentionally did not landscape my bits and he said we can just chill at Starbucks since I’m a horn dog anyway left my s* at home so my mom had to bring me makeup and I ran to kohl’s to grab clothes then target for hair conditioner and boots. As for date tomorrow, I have very few cute clothes and no time to shop. So I’ll be repeating last year’s first date with TB outfit lol

View attachment 1105938 View attachment 1105939

Oh my giiiirrrrrlllll your gorgeous and wow I would that outfit is stunning xx

 

[WinterBub]

And thank you for the BBB tip. Doesn't look great for the jewelry place. Oh, well.

And the late implantation stat is interesting. I guess that it seems like something isn't quite right from the get to.

 

[gigglebox]

Winter, what kind of jewelry are you looking for? Hmmm ok yeah that comment from your OB...if it was intentionally said as you say, I may have called her out or walked out of the auction right then. That is extremely rude and unhelpful. 35 is really not old for babies, especially these days (OK I'm also 35 so maybe taking this a little personally, lol) - but to just suggest you throw in the towel? That's so not OK. I am definitely 100% in support of finding someone new!

I thought so too about the late implantation (that it is interesting). The theory I was reading was that it's a kind of mechanism by the body to weed out "bad eggs" -- for example ones that aren't dividing quickly enough, which might suggest something's wrong/non-viable about the egg. Bodies are pretty incredible, and knowing when something is off is seen in nature everywhere. Did you know when ducks have "bad" ducklings in their nest (as in still in the egg), the push the egg out? They do this to eggs that die, or deformed ducklings for example, so it seems totally reasonable that human bodies would have mechanisms built in to deal with things if development is wonky in the early days. That's not to say it's fool proof, but kind of like a filter I guess? I don't know. It's fascinating though.

If I'm being honest Winter, the speech issue doesn't sound too terrible and I bet he outgrows it. Also I'd imagine being around other kids will help. It did help DS1 when he started preschool to be around other kids, I think. since he was my first he didn't have any other kids at home modeling how to talk. There is something about kids learning from other kids that is so much more effective than from adults, if you want my anecdotal opinion.

oh and to answer your question, SIL/BIL have two boys. I'm hoping they have a girl in case I don't (plus I think BIL needs to be softened up a little )

Dobs you vixen, you! Stay away from the fox!! Remember we're trying to score the QUALITY guy, not the sure thing!! The outfit is cute, but can we talk about that purse???!!! LOVE IT!

 

[DobbyForever]

Winter sorry late to the party here. I have heard of Factory Direct, but I haven’t ordered from them or know anybody who did. I agree with Fleuky’s advice about googling it especially with scam and bbb. Though I have seen some scam businesses operate under bbb without any noted complaints, which was odd to me. Sorry it doesn’t look promising for jewelry.

And ewwwww wtaf?! That’s so inappropriate of her! I’m so glad that you are going to have a few other opinions. That’s some definite bull. I’m so sorry.

Is DS young enough to qualify for TK instead of K? If it’s just the pronunciation, then yeah that usually sorts itself out over time. And that’s so tricky at this age with the attention spans. You really have to dial in and focus and explicitly teach that stuff. So no harm in letting it either work itself out or let the school give him services during the school day. I know in Cali if one of my students is pulled for any service, I can’t teach core. So when my kids are out at RSP/ Speech, I just do social studies review or tech time.

Gigs btw sorry congrats to SIL! I do hope that you and hubs officially ttc, and that would be awesome to have a pregnant buddy in the fam. And lol well here’s to fxed you both get girls!

Def interesting about the egg. And yeah kind of cool (ok really cool) how things have evolved over time.

Purse was from Amazon! I bought it in like three color combinations I hate shopping

I do like the white, and I actually almost bought that black shirt in white hahah. I'm just so bad with my laundry that I hate to buy white because I wash it once and it's dingy.

Y’all are so sweet! I had actually bought three shirts (a maroon tee, the maroon tank top, and the cardigan). My mom vetoed the maroon tee, and I was quite lumpy in it. And the cardigan alone was like too much midriff. So luckily I’m a need a plan a,b, c type haha. I did go. And he was very sweet. In a different time, I’d date him. But the only reason he said it’d be casual is that he’s not looking to go back to the toddler years (his daughters are 18 and 15, which honestly is too old for me anyway because I always ask myself how old I'd have to be to be their mom) and since I was on the fence about a second kid, he said it wouldn’t be fair to ask me to not have a second kid because I should go and have a second kid. He’s obviously a devoted dad. Old school gentleman. He opened all of my doors, always lets me walk ahead, made my coffee (yeah so turns out due to covid the starbucks closed early so to his house we went… …. …) and then heated it when it got cold without me saying anything. I’m on my period obviously and I didn’t bring a spare fem hygiene product, so he went and got me a pad and tampon from his daughters’ bathroom. He was not pushy at all. Everything was about my comfort. We sat around and talked about the small town and his daughters and colleges. He’s so nerdy lol. He was so excited to show me his milk frothing machine that his daughters got him for Christmas. Was nice. Obviously pointless as there’s no dating potential, but it was good practice for how to socialize and remind myself that I am cute. I was getting nervous about tomorrow. And if I needed a friend, like I could make a friend out of him. But I'm an introvert with enough friends LOL

 

[Flueky88]

Dobby I dying at "I'm an introvert with enough friends" lol. I have felt that way before. Honestly I'm a bit lacking in the friend department as far as doing things with. I have some that I can but it's just hard with the kids all being so young. Plus, Erika isn't weaned yet. She can go down for naps without nursing but I don't think she'd accept skipping it before bedtime

I love the red shirt with the white cardigan!! I feel like it really brings out your beautiful skin.

Winter, I'm sorry your OB meant it in that context. I was hoping she meant it in a more positive manner. I hope the new OB will be more helpful and kind.

Ah sorry it has bad reviews on BBB. It is disappointing when you think you've found something great.


Gigs OMG congrats to SIL! I am glad that hubby seems to be in with ttc#4. So exciting

I can't recall, we're you the one that brought up the late implanter study? I feel like I had read that years ago (If not the same study a similar one).


AFM S woke me up as she was crying. Poor girl just not feeling well and wanted to cuddle. It took me like an hour to be able to escape. Now I can't sleep.

 

[gigglebox]

Fluek, solidarity on no sleep and sick kiddos all three of mine are under the weather! Seems to jist be a cold. Hubs and I are fine, so that’s good. It’s rough taking care of them when you’re not feeling well yourself. Yeah, homebody loner over here too the only person I really shop with is my MIL but no friends my own age. We have started play dates with a new mom recently and I really like her!

Regarding SIL, if we get pregnant this will be the third time we’re pregnant together, lol. Also it was funny hearing the family yesterday talking about how they thought we were all “settled in and done” having kids. Clearly they don’t pay attention because SIL has been talking about a third for a year, but I digress. There will be some serious shock if we ttc #4…..

dobs I love that you buy the same thing in different colors. I may need to take that tip.