General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[gigglebox]

Oh I forgot to comment about the card making! I have a bunch of paper with special prints on them (floral patterns, etc) so I cut out hearts from those pieces of paper and layers and glued them onto solid red construction paper. I really like how my Mom’s turned out but I forgot to take a picture before I sent it. If I remember I’ll take a pic of hubby’s card. It’s nothing amazing but hopefully he appreciates it. His actual gift is a disc which is a special disc in a line of products co-designed by his favorite female disc golf player. Also some keto friendly chocolate bars.

the kids will get candy

 

[WinterBub]

Your cards sound so cute. I have a set of blank cards and envelopes in different colors. Maybe LO and I can make one for my OH. Great idea! My OH likes those Funko Pop characters. I'll have to have a look if there are any new ones as that would totally fit the small gift bill.

Thank you for the surgery pep talk, giggle. I just don't want to do it all, and mostly don't want to make the people looking after me uncomfortable on top of it all. Just an extra layer of unpleasantness. And thank you for the medication feedback, Dobby. I totally get what you mean about the unhappy people being the ones to come and vent about bad experiences. The way things went for you did make me reconsider going for that option.

ETA: yes, it was the Dr I'm mad at that went to bat for me, and I really appreciated that.

Hmmm... Re: #4. I guess you just have to be honest with yourself about what you want deep down. (And dive down to find out what that is!) I know the dream would be for your OH to be totally excited and into it. I think he is clearly open to it but you might never get him to openly encouraging for what it is worth, I think he would be excited if it happened, based on what you say. I keep thinking about that Thanksgiving table question. I feel so lucky and blessed to have my LO, but I do really, really want and dream about having another face at the dinner table. If you in your heart of hearts want that, then go for it. If you feel unsure and can see your family as complete as it is, then that's beautiful and wonderful too. I know it's a hard decision to make because it feels like it's all on you. But deep down you will find what you want to do.

 

[DobbyForever]

I’ll be Mia. My mom said my grandmother is being moved to hospice.

winter I’m sorry for the s*show with the test but glad it was sorted. I’m praying for a smooth surgery and recovery .

gigs arts and crafts are great. Glad you’re having fun with it

sorry that’s all I read

 

[WinterBub]

I'm sorry, Dobby Just sending a big hug. I hope that the hospice is kind and comfortable, and that you're all ok navigating this.

 

[gigglebox]

Dobby I didn’t know she had taken ill. I am so sorry to read this. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Winter glad the obgyn spoke up. If you’re over all comfortable with her, do you think after the dust has settled a little from this experience that you might talk to her about what she said? I did have to do that myself with a doctor last year. He was really flippant about a situation I was experiencing and brushed me off. I later wrote him a message about how I felt he wasn’t taking my concerns seriously. He called me after that and apologized, then got me labs for a bunch of tests and referred me to a specialist. In the end everything with me was ok, I still don’t like that doctor though. Next time I go to that practice I’ll be requesting someone else…

thank you for your kind words about #4! I have been thinking about it nearly constantly for weeks. I will figure it out but really feel I’ll regret it if we don’t go for it.

 

[gigglebox]

Today has already been so rough, and it’s only just noon…back on team “3 kids is enough” lol — but we’ll see how/if that changes as the fertile window approaches, haha.
I’m just frustrated today with the kids acting out (they had a play date with their cousins this morning and were all riled up). Ds3 especially so, but he can be pretty emotional so meh. Then ds1 is really not trying at his schoolwork — I think it’s mostly laziness. He just doesn’t want to figure things out for himself. “How do I do this?!” Is often yelled by him in frustration before he figures it out, but he’s hoping someone will tell him or do it for him. I know he is delayed so I struggle with knowing when to help him vs. when to make him do things on his own. All this today has led me to think one more kid is going to add too much chaos. Despite today being a “bad” day, I really feel like everything is balanced out pretty well right now. I feel good about school. The idea of homeschooling 4 kids, as I mentioned earlier, is so daunting! At least with #2 & #3 I might be able to teach them side by side since their age gap is so small, so really it will be more or less akin to teaching 2 agendas rather than 3. Add another kid, it becomes 3, plus the chaos of trying to teach the boys with an infant demanding so much attention….

then there’s also the fact that I want a girl. If it’s a boy I foresee major gender disappointment in my future.

but when I tell myself that I don’t want to have a fourth, I get emotional, like tears in my eyes emotional. I’m sad about this choice…what does that mean? I think they’re tears of sadness but also frustration because there is no clear answer, and I’m not comfortable with either choice. I wish I had more time but I’m feeling like “it’s now or never” because of my age and the kids’ age.

as of this second I’m team 3 kids are enough and hoping SIL has a girl

 

[gigglebox]

And to complete this three post series...

I talked to hubby today again about babies and all my thoughts. As it turns out, he is only on board if I really want one. But he does not want another baby, unless I want one. That is kind of a worst case scenario for me, me wanting one all on my own -- that means if anything goes wrong, the fault lies on me...if we're stressed with four, I'll only have myself to blame. At least if we're both preventing and it happens on accident, it's really more his fault, let's face it I am sad but also a part of me is relieved; we both agree that what we really want is another 3-4 year old, not a baby (and before you think it, we're not really looking at adoption at this time). So it looks like it's a no-go on ttc #4, at least for now. Maybe we'll reassess later but we are in a good groove right now and I think we're just going to go with things the way they are before adding chaos back into our lives. I was totally OK with this before and at peace with no daughter, so I know I'll get there again. I'm really sad because I've wanted a sister my whole life, a daughter all my adult live, and it's not to be.

 

[Flueky88]

Gigs I was going to chime in. That while I know everyone says you won't regret not having a baby. I think we know what we are capable of dealing with. I love my girls but I really don't see myself being able the manage more than 3. I'm liking the lifestyle we are fixing to get into with them being older and not the sleep deprived, emotional mess of the newborn/postpartum days. There are plenty of women that can handle more and I'm happy for them, I'm just not one of them.

Dobby I'm very sorry to hear about your grandma.


Winter, I'm glad your OB stuck up for you bit sorry you had to go through that.


AFM we are on the mend. I felt my worst Tuesday. I even took another at home test and it was negative. I felt like I had the flu that one time. It was just like a bad cold with extreme exhaustion. Girls pretty much back to normal. DH managed to stay well

I fixed spaghetti in the instant pot tonight, YUM! I really prefer it compared to my typical method. The noodles really soaked up the flavor, less dishes afterwards.

 

[WinterBub]

big hugs, Giggle. I totally get all your thoughts: it is a big responsibility to take on if it is always going to be the child that you pushed for. It sounds like you have a beautiful family, and there is nothing wrong with enjoying it. I still think you have at least a couple of years left to change your mind. And those sound like wise words from flueky. I feel like even if I had 5, I'd always have wanted one more.

Sorry that you have been so sick, flueky. I wonder if you all had the old fashioned flu(?) I guess it doesn't actually matter what it was- the important thing is that everyone is feeling better.

Thinking of you, Dobby.

AFM- everything was very straight forward and it was helpful to know what was going to happen. The anesthetist was really kind (he came in to talk to me beforehand), which I appreciated, but then I started crying because he was so nice. And I was teary from that point until they knocked me out. 3/4 nurses were really kind. So, can't complain. I'm just sad. Thank you for all the support- I really appreciate it.

Also- apparently I'll likely test positive for covid for 3 months. Wild. And I asked for a copy of the lab report, so at least I have that now. No, giggle- I won't say anything to my OB. I feel like it would just be awkward all around. I will thank her for going to bat for me about the test, but figure I'll just leave the other topic. I think she's just really analytical- my OH is somewhat the same. There's kind of no point trying to explain some things to him because it just doesn't compute. I have to either chang doctors or accept her as she is. But good for you standing up for yourself with your doctor! I agree with your choice though too to simply go with someone else next time if you're not a good fit.

 

[gigglebox]

wtfffffffff my internet just imploded and erased my long message! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh dang it!!!

I was just saying thank you ladies, in so many words. Also acknowledging that the feeling of "one more" will probably never go away, no matter how many kids I have -- that as they age and get easier, I will probably always feel like I could handle one more. I was adamant I was done just a few months ago...
Also I discovered my healthshare covers maternity, but I'd still have to pay $6,000 plus the cost of any genetic screening (they don't cover that)....so yeah....yikes.

Winter, I'm glad everything went well and it wasn't as bad as you anticipated. Good luck on trying a new ob, I hope they are receptive to you and don't blow you off this time. How are you feeling, emotionally? Are you feeling like you have some closure now?

Fluek I'm glad to hear you are feeling better and the worst of things is behind you! Did you have a fever at all? I second Winter, maybe it was "just" the flu? I don't want to say "just" -- flus are f'ing miserable. Lucky hubby for dodging the bullet! and yay for the ladies feeling better.
Wow I have so much to learn about the insta-pot, lol. Glad you found a good recipe! That sounds really yummy. I'm going to have to find a keto friendly pasta substitute...maybe spaghetti squash? Hubby is full on doing keto, getting rid of sugars in basically everything, too....I am dipping my toes in, not committed fully but getting there. Tried my first cup of warm coffee without sugar (I drink it this way cold, but warm I prefer my sugar). It was not terrible, I could get used to it. Evidently heavy cream is ok with keto so that works for me Going to try my hand at a keto peanut butter chocolate smoothie later today and see how it goes.

Unfortunately I don't see this a a sustainable diet long term as of right now, but we'll see. I just like my sweets too much. Honestly I really don't consume too much carbs so I don't see an issue there, but the sweets...THE SWEETS! and artificial sweeteners are gross. I can't stand stevia.

 

[Flueky88]

Winter interesting to hear about testing positive for 3 months. Also how are you feeling?

Gigs, probably could do a spaghetti squash instead of noodles. Sounds pretty good actually. I don't care for artificial sweeteners myself. As for coffee, have you ever heard of "bones coffee" we order coffee grounds from them. I can actually drink coffee without creamer or sugar. I will say it doesn't taste exactly as the described flavors....more like a faint hint. I also had to wean myself to drinking without creamer. I think I started at like a tablespoon and slowly added less and less. Anyways, my favorite flavors so far are highland grog and strawberry cheesecake.

AFM got some time off scheduled and approved waiting on scheduling an actual vacation for a bit. Just wait and see if I feel brave enough. I kind of feel like next year would be a better year as their ages would be 2.5, 4, and 6 when we went vs this summer it'll be 1.5, 3, and 5. Plus, if I save now I could pit it back and put it towards a Disney vacation. Kinda where I want to take them next year.

 

[gigglebox]

Woohoo for PTO! When is it scheduled for? What will you be doing? And hey nothing wrong with a staycation if you want to save for a big trip next year. That sounds fun! I REALLY want to go to Harry Potter World. Definitely wait and go next year so you have a better chance of the kids remembering. I have never heard of Bones coffee but I’ll look into it! Thanks for the suggestion. I could probably slowly wean off the cream but I won’t if it’s keto friendly, plus it is basically my breakfast and keep me full until noonish when I have an actual meal.

oh also I ended up getting a collagen supplement! We got that along with a bunch of other stuff. Hoping all of it helps me overall just feel better. The supplements and the diet. I’d love to feel comfortable in a bathing suit this year, or at least out on the disc golf course in a tank top.

 

[WinterBub]

im sorry, giggle. I know it is disappointing. But, hey- if you're at all on the fence, then this isnt a hard no just yet. See how you feel in a few months. And good for you re: your health kick. I was just reading up about vitamins and what not that can boost egg quality. And I really need to get a handle on my eating. Obviously not super happy at the moment- but I logged my calories today, and yikes. I plan to start thyroid medication and whatever new vitamins at some point 2-4 weeks from now. And then need to get back into morning walks and an afternoon work out. Just need a bit of a lifestyle overhaul.

I'm doing ok. I'm not sure why it has all been much more emotional etc this time. I'm sad, but also relieved not to have the whole thing looming over me any more.

And yeah- the 3 month covid thing was interesting. Not sure what they do for things like tests required to fly. What if you are trying to fly home from somewhere and just keep coming up positive?! I have zero interest in international travel while any of this is going on.

Some time off sounds lovely, flueky. You deserve a break! Are you still thinking of a weekend away with hubby? Re: a family trip- what about doing a weekend or something just for fun? So, not a huge amount of $$$, but just a weekend at a hotel or somewhere close to some fun stuff? I was just thinking the girls might find it exciting and fancy to stay in a hotel or a cute air bnb. It's hard with young kids- sounds like so much fun, but lots of work just to pack, plan etc.

 

[Flueky88]

Gigs, mostly just scheduled off around all of our birthdays and some days off in April and May so I can take them to a local theme park (well it's about 90 minutes away but the closest one). We took them last year in December and ended up buying season passes. I would prefer to go when it's not really hot and maybe less crowded as school will be in session. As for Disney next year, so far DH is not on board. Oh well, I can always keep some money back each tax refund to put towards it in the future.

Yeah if I wasn't eating an actual breakfast then I'd definitely keep the cream to keep fuller longer. Nice on the collagen supplement, I hope it works for you. After taking it nearly a month, my joints feel better. I definitely feel ya on wanting to feel comfortable in a bathing suit. I felt like such a whale last year. I had a size XL and it was tight and not flattering.

Winter yes it can really be eye opening when you track what you eat. I had been logging mine in myfitnesspal but just been busy. I'm more aware of portions and of eating. I try to only eat when hungry. I'm really an emotional eater. Sounds like a good fitness plan. Walking is good for both mental and physical health.

With the time I have off now, just some day trips or just working/resting at home. I think DH and I will see if one of our parents would take off and watch the girls while we go out and have a day to ourselves. He doesn't really trust anyone overnight with them.

I do have more pto to use so think I'll take a week off in June. It's undecided if we will go anywhere yet. I think I will choose an airbnbif we do go somewhere with kids because you aren't worried about guests hearing them be crazy.

 

[WinterBub]

I can see the argument for waiting on Disney until they're older. Just gotta find that sweet spot where they really enjoy it, and nobody is too old for it. (Though are you ever too old for it?! ) More time to save up, as you say, at least. And if Disney isn't possible next year, then all the more reason to go somewhere this year!

A day out sounds really lovely. I get not wanting to do overnight- it does seem to up the ante. We haven't done that ever, either.

Done way better today with eating, though don't think I'm likely to lose much weight until I can start doing some exercise etc. Eating better is a good start, anyway. Haven't been up to much today- not felt great, so just taking things easy. I was looking up PCOS friendly recipes online (seemingly largely no and low carb), but everything I saw kept having coconut oil in it. ive just never been a fan, and know some people complain it makes them feel sick.

 

[WinterBub]

Ps. What was in your smoothie, giggle?

Pps. What is the tea you're drinking, Shae?

 

[gigglebox]

Winter I'm not surprised food's been a challenge with all the stress you've been under I hope it gets easier soon. What is it with the coconut oil? Like to cook with or actually a large amount in recipes? I imagine any keto stuff will also be PCOS friendly. I'm going to start trying some soon. The smoothie was coconut milk and heavy cream, ice, peanut butter, and cocoa powder. The peanut butter has a minimal amount of sugar in it but I will be trying this again with xylitol which I'm waiting to receive (a sugar substitute/sugar alcohol). It was kind of meh without that extra sugar kick but did the job to curb my desire for something sweet, and it was filling enough.

I've been doing the keto thing for 3 days now and already down almost 2 lbs so that's cool. I guess it's supposed to come off a lot over the next week or two before slowing down, you know, those initial pounds down....we'll see how it goes.

Fluek that sounds fun! I'm hoping we can do the theme park thing this year. How do you manage with three? Was it easier than you thought or kind of difficult? I'm thinking it would be fun to go with the whole family, including cousins. There'd be plenty of adults to kid ratio.

 

[Flueky88]

Gigs, it actually went better than I thought. The girls were well behaved and V didn't complain of being too tired to walk. Since they did so well our first trip we upgraded to the season pass. The park is family friendly. They let you do parent swaps. There was one rode where you are "driving" a classic 50s car they let me rode with V and S. Once we got through they did a swap where the driver changed (S drove the first time and V drove the 2nd) without having to get back in line. The 2nd and 3rd time we went we brought a grandparent to stay with E since she couldn't ride many rides.

Awesome job gigs!

Winter yes I'm thinking I probably won't steer him to do Dusney next year but I really want a family trip before V starts school. Yes, we haven't both been away overnight for S or E. When I was in the hospital with E, DH only spent a little bit of the day with us.

Ah I don't mind coconut oil but everyone is different. I really wanted to lose weight shortly after having E but my supply dipped when I was really into making an effort to lose. I ended up stopping but I di slowly make better choices for my health q few months later. I lost a few lbs and kind of stayed there until I was ready to actively attempt to lose.



AFM I had a coworker comment on how she can tell I've lost weight. My mom mentioned it yesterday too. It is always nice to have others visualize your efforts. V talked me into doing some YouTube exercise videos.

I saw a wonderful cheesecake on a FB instantpot group.....gonna have to make it. Maybe I can make it and take some down to in laws so we don't eat all of it lol. I haven't had cheesecake since Christmas so I'm wanting a piece.

 

[tdog]

lovely ladies iam lurking I promise we have decided to ntnp so I had implant removed yes I'm nuts we love Big families and he is all for living his life how he would want intsead of wondering and worrying, he has had a call from the hospital he has to have the cpap machine when he sleeping to help with his breathing, I no he is all for not worrying at all that and I'm so happy he isn't but I do I'm such a worrier at the best of times if I'm honest so now we are ntnp ill be posting my tests with you lovely bnb family, tell me if it's raw for some of you or if you don't want me to I won't I don't want to upset any of you after all we are like family xx

 

[WinterBub]

Omg- that cheesecake is amazing! Is that a pic off the FB page, or did you actually make that?!

Sounds like we're all trying to do healthier eating. If you find any good recipes, I'd love to hear them. Seemingly, I'm meant to do low carb re: PCOS. Good for you on those comments, flueky. Awesome when people can see a change! And I find that really motivating to keep it going. And wow, giggle- 2lb that fast I'm not sure if I would be able to make keto work... But that kind of a result sure is something!! I know my SIL lost a lot (like 30ish lb) doing it. We don't see them often, so not sure on specifics and if she's still doing it to maintain.

I'm feeling better today. I had a lot of cramping yesterday, and that has been much improved. I also kept the improvements going re: eating. So, just trucking along and plotting out what I feel I can do to maybe get in a better place physically. Looked up some suggested vitamins for PCOS, and trying to make a plan to eat better, schedule in exercise etc. I also went and bought some different flavored teas- was thinking/hoping that could help me drop caffeine (bad for healthy ovulation apparently), and drop soda/diet soda too. I like chai teas, but sadly they are caffeinated. It is about half the caffeine of coffee, so better- but would like to find some caffeine free options.

What is the protein shake you're trying Dobby? (I think you mentioned one?)

Hope you're doing ok, Dobby been thinking of you and your family.

Hi Tdog nice to see you! Post away (at least as far as I'm concerned). Always happy to see a new baby! Sorry about the CPAP. Im sure that wasn't great to hear, but hopefully will help him health wise.

And finally: Go Bengals! Would love the underdog to win!!