General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[shaescott]

Soooo 3 days ago I started spotting dark brown and yesterday it turned bright red so I thought I was having a short anovulatory cycle, marked myself as CD1, and went and had unprotected sex. Today all I have is light pink spotting at best and now I’m like uh oh, what if that wasn’t a period at all… at the same time it was a shorter cycle so it would likely be far lighter a period but still. I’m continuing to take OPKs, we’ll see if the bleeding comes back or not. I hope for SO’s sake that either I was right that it was a period OR I just don’t ovulate for several more days. Of course, for my sake I hope I was wrong and I ovulate in like 2 days lol. So yeah, we’ll see what happens, I might end up in the TWW accidentally. I’d feel kinda bad but like I had bright red blood so…

 

[WinterBub]

Yes, he sort of played with the other kids. The class was for 2-3, and he was one of the biggest/oldest ones, despite not yet being 3. They did some music and dance bits, and some free play. I think he will really love pre-school. He also did really well sharing and doing things like tidying up, so here's hoping he will be good at school!

Sorry that you and SIL aren't close, Flueky. I always wanted a sister and never got one I had hoped to have a close SIL, but it doesn't seem like it will happen.

Sorry for the confusion, Shae I have no insight into what any of that could mean! Did you mention having somewhat irregular cycles at your last check up? I think anything where a woman lies to convince a guy to go all the way sans protection is wrong. But if you're honest with your OH, then I think it's up to him to decide what he's comfortable with. Just my two cents! Basically, when you have sex with someone you run the risk of a pregnancy- it's up to you as a couple and you individually to decide what level of risk you're up for. If you told him you bled, but weren't sure what it meant, then that was for him to digest and consider.

 

[shaescott]

Winter at the time I was still bleeding so I was like “oh it’s definitely a period”, the issue was when the bleeding had stopped this morning and it still hasn’t returned. So I’d feel bad because I thought it was safe and told him it was safe. I wouldn’t have just lied and told him it was safe when I knew it wasn’t. Re: irregular cycles, I’m one year post 7 years on an IUD so it’s not abnormal to have irregular cycles after birth control. They wouldn’t be concerned at this point.

 

[DobbyForever]

Shae if it ended up not being a period that’s an honest mistake. You didn’t lie. You truly believed it was your period. Like Winter said, unprotected sex runs a risk of pregnancy. You’re both mature adults who know how making babies work, more than the average brain. Consensual decision was made with the facts at hand. Don’t stress it

 

[WinterBub]

Dobby said what I was trying to say much better

 

[gigglebox]

Shae how long was your cycle? Had you already gotten a positive opk? Maybe you just had a short period?

winter hugs and solidarity on the lack of sister but always wanting one. I begged my mom for a sister. When I was young she told me that we don’t get to pick those things and I could end up with another brother, and they were not going to have any more babies. When I was older I learned my dad got snipped shortly after I was born (I was conceived on the pill) and another kid was never in the cards, ha. Anyway do you have any brothers?

i was gone all weekend. Turns out the kids were great in my absence; hubby laid down the law and had all of them eating their dinners, trying new foods, and making progress with ds3’s potty training. I get home and suddenly ds3 pees on the floor, refuses to finish dinner, and hits me. Oh he also chewed up his food and spit it on the chair. So I leave to shower, hubs tells him to finish the dinner and knock that crap off, and *drum roll*, he eats everything!! Wtf, these kids! No respect for mom, little obedient things with dad. So frustrating!

 

[shaescott]

Gigs oof, sorry about the behavior issues. I have no experience, so no advice

No positive OPK, it was 18 days, I just thought it was a short anovulatory cycle or something because I had bright red blood.

Also, my LH has been hanging out at a 0.4 ratio for several days, which is super weird for me. Maybe it’s this pack of tests, they’re new to this cycle, same brand though. The control line is definitely lighter on them than the old ones. It’s throwing me off because when my LH hit 0.4 it was always the beginning of a surge prior to this cycle.

 

[shaescott]

Update: my CM is pretty creamy (though not as thick as before) and cervix low so I highly doubt I’ll be ovulating in the next 2 days.

I swear it’s like God is toying with me about this, it’s like that insurance ad with the guy holding a fishing pole with a dollar on the hook and when you try to grab it he lifts it up so you miss and says “gotta be quicker than that”. I’m being teased. Every time I had a legit chance of getting pregnant, God was like “nah”, just swatting away my little chances, holding back my egg for a few extra hours so the sperm all dies. How do I have unprotected sex mid-cycle and just conveniently not ovulate, when people get pregnant accidentally every day? What the heck is this, I’ve been NOT careful enough and still won’t accidentally get pregnant. Makes me mad that I spent so much time worrying about getting pregnant and here I am off birth control for a year and having messed up multiple times and still NOT PREGNANT.

Can you tell I’m salty?

In reality I know God knows best so I can’t really be mad at him. It’s just frustrating when something you’ve wanted for so long is just barely out of reach.

 

[gigglebox]

I'm sorry shae, I totally 100% get your frustration -- speaking from someone who was sooooooo jazzed for a baby, as I mentioned, even before finding a husband. It WILL happen, you just have to realize that just because it's something you super duper want right now, it's not something your SO wants (YET). So the bigger picture is not focusing just on you, it's also considering the Dad. Imagine for a second that you were the one who didn't want a baby yet, and SO reaaaallly did. Imagine he got you pregnant when you really weren't ready for it -- how would you feel? Might you resent him a little? Might you be afraid of bringing a life into the world you're not ready for? Probably yes to both of these things. Just keep that in mind, and stop thinking that maybe God is testing you, and maybe be thankful it hasn't happened yet as it will all be worth it and the right time when it does happen.

 

[WinterBub]

Yep, I have one brother. But we've never been close. He's 5 years older than me, and always treated me like an annoyance. It's a shame- at the moment we're not really speaking. We live a long way apart so don't see each other in person (especially after covid). And I am really disgusted with a lot of his behavior in recent years (basically the way he treated his wife and children). Anyway... I guess the imaginary sister is perfect because she's not real

What did you do with your weekend off, giggle? Sorry your LO is being such a stinker! And how did your OH get LO to eat everything?! I need the scoop, too! No advice beyond just holding the line. Ie. If you say no to something, then stay strong! We also try to back each other up in the moment. So I'll step in and back OH up if he is saying to stop doing something or if LO is being silly/rude etc. You're on #3 so it's not like I'm likely to have tips you don't already know! He will grow out of it, and hope that you and OH can speed that process up. And it's hard not to baby them they're so sweet and cuddly at this age.

I'm sorry, Shae. like giggle said your time will come. Not that the waiting is easy, and I know that you've already been waiting for years. With an engagement right around the corner, things are at least moving in the direction you want Maybe Good is saving you the heartache that a baby might cause at the "wrong" time?

Trying to work out today whether the Fertility Specialist I've seen is accepted by our insurance for IVF. Apparently there is a different list of who you can see for that vs who is an in network doctor. Sigh.

 

[josephine3]

Rolling by to say hi here if anyone remembers me lol I'm back and TTC!!

 

[josephine3]

Can't believe this threads still going actually

 

[Flueky88]

Shae, ditto what others have said. Also, at this point, your potential chances weren't the best timing or riskiest behaviors. There is no need to stress over there being issues. I didn't have baby fever as long as you but I do know how hard it is when you want something so bad and it isn't happening. It took 18 months to conceive dd1, it was 12 cycles, I felt like it would never happen as we had prefect timing for most every month. I kept seeing everyone else get BFPs and it broke my heart thinking when would I get my turn or even if I would get my turn. It'll be all the sweeter when you are both wanting to have a baby. I hope that he is ready soon.

Winter, have you found out which IVF specialists are in network.

Gigs, sorry about kids acting out more for you than DH. I think most usually do act their "worst" for mom. I think I heard it's because they feel safe and comfortable the most around the person they act out around.

AFM not much going on to report.

Pretty, I hope you are doing well.

 

[gigglebox]

Shae I hope i came off as helpful ish and not rude and abrasive, I just wish the best for you

winter i have an estranged brother too, it sucks. I do like your outlook on the imaginary sister though she’ll never let us down!

i went to a gem and jewelry show! I met up with my mom and we had a nice time together.

josephine! How the heck are you???!! Yes I remember you, allllll the way back from ttc ds1 in 2011! How exciting! Tell me more aboit your decision to ttc#3

thanks ladies about crazy ds3. Winter you’re right, i cave a lot. That’s totally my problem. I am trying to stand my ground more and it seems to be working. I am also using the “I’ll ho get daddy” threat which has been helpful as well

 

[WinterBub]

Hi Georgia! Welcome (back)... Though Im a newer addition, so we haven't crossed paths before. How old are your older two? That's exciting re: TTC again

It's so hard not to cave sometimes, giggle. I don't have a problem if he's really doing something naughty or doing a bit of a fake cry... But is he's for real sad, it absolutely breaks my heart! I do tend to stand my ground though now, as whenever I gave in it made things worse for both of us. Lol at Daddy the enforcer My Mom used to do that when my Dad traveled for work, but he used to go for weeks at a time. So, "I'll tell Dad" didnt hold much power when we knew it was like a month before he'd be back. Plus, he didn't tend to do anything about old grievances then because he didn't care, and I think he didn't want to come home and punish us first thing.

The gem and jewelery show sounds lovely. I love art deco jewelry with emeralds/rubies/sapphires. Not that I have much of it! I just used to walk past an antique jeweler at an old job, and they always had beautiful pieces in the window. Glad that you had a nice time!

And yes! Pretty, I've been thinking of you too, and hoping all is going well. I can't believe that your due date is slowly coming up!!!

 

[gigglebox]

Oooh art deco!! I used to hate it but it grew on me the past few years. I’m still not so thrilled about it in decor but LOVE it in fine jewelry especially! I didn’t see anything deco-y this weekend, sad to say. WAIT THAT’S A LIE! This one vendor had estate pieces and a stunning gold deco style shield ring with three diamonds down the center. It was beautiful, I didn’t even bother asking the price haha. If you’re that curious about what I picked up pm me, I will be making a video of my purchases

 

[WinterBub]

I just searched art deco house decoration... And yeah, that's a lot!! There was one beautiful room with green wallpaper, but even that must get old after you've had it for a while. And yes- I'd love to see what you got. The shop I used to walk by had a beautiful emerald ring that I wish I'd bought (not that I had, you know, any money at that point in my life! )

 

[Jezika]

Hey guys! I love that this thread is still going. I’m not TTC or anything (probably for another year) but I was curious to pop in to see how y’all are doing. What did I miss?!

 

[DobbyForever]

Still reading along. Lots to say but no energy or time to say it. . Nice to see some familiar faces

my grandmother was moved yesterday to my mom’s. It was a mess, but we got it done. I’m going to work today just to do sub plans and not waste a full day on a half day. Taking A to see her after speech as well. Then taking Thursday and Friday off.

 

[gigglebox]

Jez are you serious?! HI!!! How are you??? How’s Tilly? Wow y’all are thinking about another maybe?! That is so exciting! When was the last time you popped in? Pink is due with #3 soon, a girl!, Fluek had a third girl, I had a third boy but I think you knew that…? We’re kicking around the idea of a fourth but not going to really seriously discuss for a few months.

Fill us in on you!