General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[Flueky88]

My cycle is a little off this month, but I was pretty ticked off at the start of last week. I think that probably had a lot to do with it.

Omg when I was in college I paid for a fancy gym membership but only went like 2 or 3x. I just didn't have time between working 24hr/week and nursing school. Such a waste of money. I usually work out using beachbody 5x week so definitely getting my $ worth.

AFM this week is starting off much better, have some time off next week and looking forward to our 2nd vacation as a family of 5. We had a one night stay last year as our 1st vacation as a family of 5. Looking forward to some time away before the absolute chaos of the next few months arrive.

It was a beautiful day and got the girls out to play after I finished with work. These are my crazy children

Had a non scale victory today. As I was in squatted position getting E into her car seat DH was noticing how much more toned the back of my thighs are. It was really nice to hear him notice my hardwork. He's always found me sexy, even when I was at 200lbs but I hated my body at that weight.

 

[shaescott]

Flueks I’m glad your hard work is paying off!

AFM SO has agreed to wedding planning because we can’t wait to book some stuff. We have a call with a photographer on Sunday. I’m in contact with the pastor of the church near his parents’ house, and I scheduled a dress shopping appointment as well for the end of next month! I also ordered some hair extension samples to see if this company I’m looking at has a match for me, I’m hoping to get extensions so I can do a half up hair style, I have very fine hair so it wouldn’t really work without extensions.

 

[shaescott]

Oh also, SO didn’t like the invitations I’d picked out, so we looked at different ones together and I like this one way better, I put gray over last names and locations:

 

[Flueky88]

Shae glad SO has come around and I like the new invitations. Hope it goes well with the photographer!

 

[WinterBub]

That's interesting if your mental state messed up your cycle, flueky. Mine finally started the day before I was going to start the provera. Either that was just pcos/off or I managed to delay it. I didn't want it to start until I had the ivf stuff all sorted, and wonder whether I sent out hormones that put it off.

Have an awesome time on your vacation, flueky! And I love the pic you shared You have a beautiful family. That's so sweet that your OH noticed and commented on your success. He's a keeper And I continue to be really impressed with your progress.

Glad that your OH is getting involved in the wedding planning, Shae!

Nothing going on here. Formally put off ivf until aug/sep, but ordered all the medication, so seems like we're really going to go ahead. Looking forward to the summer as some time to relax before all that kicks off. Hoping to have lost another pound this week. Officially have 3-4 months to get to a decent spot before diving in to IVF and a potential pregnancy.

 

[DobbyForever]

Winter that’s awesome about ordering the meds

fluek awww love the comment from dh and the photo. You have a very sweet fam

Shae glad he’s getting into the planning and you’re getting stuff done. Hope things go well with photographer. Do they do videography as well? I’ve got to say, the videos I’ve seen on fb of people who hired videographers were so sweet and such nice memories. Very cute invites

sorry just read this page not feeling great. A brought a cold home. A girl in his class has covid though. His rapid test this morning was negative but waiting on our pcrs yesterday. But I think it’s safe to say this is a cold vs covid then it’s just FXed he doesn’t turn out to have it in a few days. I have end of year testin the next two weeks

 

[Shezza84uk]

Hi ladies,

I hope you all had a great Easter, I survived 5 children on an 9hr flight. I returned yesterday after spending 7 hours waiting in the airport due to our flight being delayed for 4 hours, the kids did so well and all went as well as can be expected for a funeral.

I hope all is going well, I haven’t yet gone back to read the thread jet lag is fully giving me a beat down. Pregnancy is also going well so far, I had a scan before I left and one yesterday evening after getting back. I’m now 9 weeks and doing well, I hope your IVF journey is going to plan @WinterBub I will be back to catch up soon.

 

[shaescott]

Winter that’s nice that you have the summer to relax before IVF!

Dobs yikes I hope A doesn’t get COVID. It’s been going around again, but not nearly as bad. We aren’t going for a videographer because money lol, just photography. The videos are super cute but I just can’t justify the price.

Shezza glad to hear you survived the trip, and that your little bean is doing well in there!

AFM not much going on, SO’s mom wants to sit down and discuss the use of their yard for the wedding so hopefully that goes okay. Turns out she thought we were joking. Oops. Pretty sure I ovulated HARD this cycle because yesterday was O day and I was a waterfall of EWCM. Just waiting for 24 hours so we can BD again.

 

[PrettyInInk42]

Hey ladies. I fell off the face of the Earth again. Sorry. So tired and so much to do, but I'll get to that later.

Flueky - Glad to hear you work out routine is working. Always nice to get compliments on your physique and good to know your DH loves you regardless.
What are you going for your vacay?

shae - Hope the talk with your future MIL goes well. Those plates and napkins look really nice and price seems pretty good too.
Have you put anymore thought into getting a new car?
And would it help you to sit down and make a physical budget of what you're spending now as well as seeing how much you'll save when you cut back?

Dobby - Of those options, B sounds like it would the least objectionable. How long do you have to finalize a decision on your living situation?
Are things still going well with OA? Had any more dates?

Winter - I hope you have a great summer before you start IVF. I'll be keeping everything crossed for you. Were you told you should lose some weight before you start the procedure, or are you just looking to drop a little weight while you can?

Shezza - Glad to hear your trip went well, all things considered. And that your pregnancy is going well too.

AFM, our Sprinkle went well. Got a bunch of cute clothing and had a decent turn out. Moved Matthew's crib into our room and set up his new twin bed. NB and 0-3m clothing is all washed. Swing, bassinet, bouncy seat, and car seat are ready to go. Hospital bag for Baby Girl is packed. Got all our home birth supplies from the MW, including antibiotics cuz I'm GBS positive AGAIN. *rolls eyes* I've started sleeping on a reusable pee pad in case my water breaks in bed. I think the only things really left to do are sterilize some soothers and my pumping equipment, and pack my hospital bag. 5 more business days to go and about 10 actual days, according to my ticker. Oh. Ma. God!

 

[Flueky88]

Winter great news on having a timefrane set and meds ordered. I'm glad AF finally showed up too.

Dobby so sorry A is sick. Hope it was just a cold. They suck but could be worse for sure. I hope he's feeling better and you managed not to catch it.

Shezza glad to hear you all survived the trip. I can only imagine how exhausting it must be with flying with young kids qnd that 1st tri exhaustion.

Pretty lovely bump pic and nice haul from the sprinkle

Awww it's exciting when they get moved out of their crib. It also makes me a little sad.

Glad everything is pretty much ready. Sorry to hear about GBS +, I know it's not the worst but still stinks. I didn't get tested with V, I was negative with S, and positive with E. I unfortunately didn't get both doses before delivery but all was well. It is so hard to believe you a week or two you will be cuddling your newborn baby girl

We went to Pigeon Forge area. It's a real tourist trap but there are a lot of fun things to do. It's not too far for us either.


AFM I had my follow up last week. Many labs ordered and an ultrasound of liver. I got a call from the nurse Monday saying my liver was inflamed and I had sludge too. She mentioned possible choleycystitis but I'd have to schedule an appt with Dr to discuss all results and the front desk would call to schedule. The earliest they had was June 1st or 2nd. My Dr was out last week but they told me I could message her and ask if she could squeeze me in sooner. Some of the labs were sent to the hospital which I have a mychart account so I've been able to review anyways. They've been normal thankfully.

We had a good vacation. DH was more frustrated with things than me. E got car sick on the way to the hotel so that wasn't fun. She also kept wanting to open the mini-fridge and take things out, which is what drove DH crazy. I don't find it as stress inducing the weather was nice our entire stay. The kids had a lot of fun as well.

I got an email Thursday thatV was eligible for the Kinderboost program so we registered her. I'm hoping to attend the parts where parents are allowed but I'm not sure as I have some mandatory trainings for work next month. I think I'll at least get to attend her graduation ceremony.

Anyways, I hope you all are well and have a happy Mother's Day tomorrow.

 

[DobbyForever]

Shezza so glad that the trip went well and you made it back safely. Sorry about the flight delay on the way back and, of course, the circumstances of the trip. Hopefully you can get some rest. Really happy to hear that you had another scan and everything is going well! Yay!

Shae yeah it’s definitely expensive. But it’s also a once in a lifetime event. Obviously, it’s not the end of the world to skip it but I’m a sentimental fool so I’d say don’t skip it over cost. Easier said than done though. I hate when my parents say things like it’d be so cheap or just do it like some of us be broke lol. We can’t just do it. This isn’t a Nike commercial. They don’t sponsor me How did the backyard talk go?

Pretty you are growing a tiny human while raising tiny humans. Take all the time you need to check in. Always love it when you do though So sorry you are GBS pos again. But yay for a fun sprinkle and swag! And sounds like you’re really starting to nest and get stuff prepped! I cannot believe you’re just 10 days out from your due date!!! You look amazing!

Lots of venting lol. Sorry.

Re living situation. It’s decided I’ll be moving back into my old unit in the duplex. We just cannot live with my mom, it won’t work logistically or emotionally. I’ll have to rent my place, which makes me nervous as there’s a lot wrong with it and my new neighbor is annoying. I just got news yesterday that the district I was hoping to work for passed on me. First real rejection in my life. It was really rude, too. Just a two sentence email that said we’re not hiring you good luck on your job search. I emailed back for feedback, but I imagine I’m just blacklisted from ten years ago. There’s a couple of other districts that were interesting, but they haven’t posted for external applicants. I emailed one, and they emailed back saying they’re not there yet but will be. But it’s like I only have until 6/30 to back out of my current contract. I was thinking about how it will suck to be back on probation or even a temp contract, especially with only a few more ideal child bearing years. So maybe this is God trying to tell me I’m going to get a second child in the next few yeas. But it sucks because I really could have used the salary bump and benefits to free up money for rent.
TLDR: Moving but not living with my mom, gonna be broke af, got rejected from the job I applied to

Re OA things are not great. He’s overwhelmed. His baby momma’s father is really sick and potentially dying soon. His daughter is hitting kids at school and acting out, they think because he’s traveling so much. We were supposed to see each other Mother’s Day evening as he’ll be gone until the 21st, but he texted Thursday that something came up with work and he has to fly out early. But we haven’t been able to talk about it, which is the part that makes me angry. I don’t care that he cancelled. I care that he hasn’t called me to talk about it. I get that flew in first thing Friday morning then picked his daughter up immediately (like drove straight to her from the airport) and she doesn’t nap/she cosleeps and won’t let him leave the bed/he doesn’t like to be on his phone ignoring her but still. Could have called me while you were driving from SFO, it’s an hour drive. You’ve done it before. Anyway. I just don’t know because I don’t get a*hole vibes but I do infer from how he treats me/the stories he says that he’s not the type to immediately be considerate of other people. Like people have to constantly tell him what to do. And I’m not dating just to be married or have a baby or have a second income. I want a partner who supports me. Like work sucks right now with SBAC prep, I just got that job rejection, it’s my dad’s birthday today, A is on the verge of getting kicked out of school, it’s Mother’s Day and nobody ever gives a s* that I’m a mom on Mother’s Day. Like I don’t need you to solve my problems, but some support would be cool. And all my friends are like oh don’t text him, ignore him. Or oh stop caring so much. Like I don’t play games and I feel like if I need to change my behavior to manipulate his then what I really need to change is my relationship status. I have a hard deadline of my birthday to make up my mind about it though.
TLDR: Things ain’t good LOL, probably going to dump today if his a** doesn't do some explaining/ even if he does and I don't like his explanation

Re covid. I’m thinking maybe A still has a naturally immunity. The PCR and rapid home tests came back negative. He’s feeling a lot better but still got the nastiest runny nose. I’ve reached my emotional breaking point, so he’s back in his own bed. I was worried maybe I was feeding his insecurity by validating him and letting him sleep with me. So I was gentle but firm and we’re back into usual bedtime routines. The first day at school he didn’t push at all. But the second, he pushed 11 times and one kid got hurt.

 

[DobbyForever]

Morning Flueky! Sorry about the inflammation and sludge. Are those easy fixes or you have to wait to talk to the doc? That’s frustrating that they don’t have openings for a few weeks. Hopefully something opens up sooner. I’m glad your vacation was fun! The mini fridge thing is hard since some hotels charge you for even just moving the items, so hopefully that wasn’t the case. Ooo what’s Kinderboost? Sorry if you’ve said it before.

Ditto! Happy Mother’s Day in case I don’t pop in tomorrow. Hope everyone has a lovely day.

 

[Flueky88]

Dobby, I suppose I'll find out more at my appt. I don't really know everything as the nurse just mentioned a few things. I'm thinking I'll most likely have to have my gallbladder removed at some point in time though. If it's causing injury to my liver, I would think sooner rather than later would be preferable but I don't know all the facts. Avoiding greasy and spicy foods as well as a low fat diet would probably be a good start. I like spicy foods, not super hot, so that'll be tough. I also am a bigger sucker for fats than carbs but I feel overall my nutrition is usually good.

Thankfully, no charges as there was nothing stocked in the fridge. We just put sippy cups, milk, and water bottles in there.

Kinderboost is a prep for kids that need a little "boost" before starting kindergarten. It's a two week event. They only select 20 kids per school and is based off their kindergarten screening results and not income based. I think it would help V a lot since she hasn't been in a structured daycare or preschool. I'm thinking of having S registered for preschool next year so she might be more ready for Kindergarten in 2 years time. We may not qualify based on income but no harm in trying though

I'm sorry that things are crappy right now between job, living, and OA situation. I hope that you hear back soon from one of the other places you applied to. Also, as far as renting your place, I do hope that you find a good tenant. Also, boo for no one honoring you on Mother's Day. I hope that you get something special.

 

[WinterBub]

Happy belated Mother's Day!

Love all of your pictures, Pretty! And that dress is gorgeous. You look great- enjoy this last exciting part before you meet your girl. You know that we will be here waiting to hear how everything goes!!!

Sorry that you didn't get clearly fantastic news from the Dr, flueky. So what is the next step? Just wait to see the Dr and see what they say then? Glad you had a little trip away! ...And my OH can be weird about things like the mini bar thing too I guess we all have different tolerance levels for things. I get wound up about illnesses/germs etc while OH never does.

How did the backyard conversation go, Shae? I wonder why they didn't get that you guys were for real?!

Hi shezza! Glad that your trip went well, and baby looks great so far. Do you have an inkling on boy or girl?

Sorry about the job rejection, Dobby. And the one line response in particular sucks. I'm sure it's a whole ordeal to put together the application they want, and then they can't be bothered to even offer feedback I hope that you're feeling better about the OA situation, whatever has gone on between now and your last post im glad you'll keep the condo!

Afm- no news. We're just chugging along. I've been trying to stay off the internet. The past year has been a lot, and I need to stop obsessing over everything! Plus politics just makes me angry and I tend to gravitate to all of that stuff But now I feel like I ended up missing out in catching up with all of you and I've so valued all of you through all this drama. I don't have any IRL friends to discuss all of this with- so thank you for being kind and supportive and listening to me obsess and vent

 

[shaescott]

Dobs sorry to hear about the job rejection. As a new grad I got a few rejections and my mom was like “huh, I’ve never not gotten the job I applied for” and I was like “GOOD FOR YOU MOM”
Honestly I’m team dump OA. Even if he has good intentions, his schedule is not conducive to a healthy relationship. He needs to focus on his kid when he’s home, and it just doesn’t leave enough time for you. It’s okay to dump him if he’s a good guy but it’s just not going to work out because he can’t meet your basic needs. Sometimes two good people who get along well can’t be together because of stuff like that, and it sucks, but it’s reality.

Flueks I’d be so sad to give up spicy food, I feel for you. Praying for your health and that this issue can be resolved quickly and completely. Is your local preschool only for kids in a certain income bracket? That seems very odd. I went to morning preschool probably 2-3 days a week the year before kindergarten. My dad would pick me up after and bring me on a daddy daughter date at Wendy’s we wouldn’t have qualified for any low income programs so I know my preschool wasn’t based on that.

I want to homeschool my kids but my god I hated some school subjects, I didn’t want to be a teacher so I wouldn’t have to be at school any longer than necessary. I just don’t want my kids exposed to a lot of the stuff going on at public schools these days. Not necessarily things being officially taught, more stuff kids teach each other that are really awful or not age appropriate when kids are too young to be discerning about that stuff. There’s also just a lot of widely accepted values that we disagree with and don’t want our kids being taught at a young age. If we can find an affordable Christian private school we might do that. High school age we might put them in public school since they’ll be older and smarter, but depends on the individual kid. I definitely don’t plan to teach high school level subjects to my kids, they can do either online Christian schooling or in person school.
TLDR: might homeschool future kids to protect them from exposure to bad stuff when they’re too young to protect themselves.

Winter I get worked up over politics too, I get it. I’ve been avoiding speaking my mind of politics publicly for a while, but the recent stuff made me feel the need to speak out, especially when my opinion was contrary to literally every person I was following who posted stories about it (coworkers, cousins, past high school and college peers). Hard to go against the popular opinion, but sometimes it’s necessary.

As for the backyard discussion, it didn’t really properly happen because we were at SO’s grandmother’s house to celebrate Mother’s Day. We only got as far as “if you decide you want to do it in our yard we need to work on smoothing the land out this year, there’s some holes that need to be filled to prevent tripping”. She suggested some local cheap function halls that already have tables and chairs but I really want the reception to be outside, I much prefer that vibe. I am still scheduled to go wedding dress shopping on the 22nd, so that’s super exciting! SO’s mom also said she has a close friend who’s a photographer, so we may very well see if we can hire her to save money.

 

[DobbyForever]

Quick response LOL I’m so tired

Flueky the kinder boost sounds great. Hopefully it’s a smooth adjustment. I only taught kindergarten once, and most kids went to preschool. By the end of the first year, you couldn’t tell them apart from those that didn’t. Hopefully easy transition for her. Sorry about the lack of answers and solutions just yet. I guess flip side any urgency in getting back to you would mean severe issues so hopefully benign easy to fix situation

winter we love you! And I feel you re politics. Outside if my cnn 10 with my students I just can’t stomach the news

Shae I could see you rocking homeschool. I feel like it involves a lot of planning and energy and care. Obviously I think public schools can be fine and there’s value in those hard moments that come from exposure. But I also just had kids in at recess writing apology notes for writing “happy birthday from deez nuts”, “”happy birthday your mom is dead! Psych!” And “happy birthday ur trash” so sometimes it definitely isn’t puppies and unicorns and I still want to know who thought I should be in charge of puberty education for girls

oh ok that’s good! Sounds like she just wanted to talk logistics versus taking it off the table. I was going to say do you have any connections in the business if maybe someone newer. The photographer I wanted for my engagement shoot was busy and she recommended a friend of hers that was newer so more availability at a fraction of her price. I was really pleased. My ex used to do freelance photography as well. I kept telling him to go into weddings. FXed the connect comes through.

re me nm. Same old same old. Saw Dr. Strange (only had to break down crying at my stepdad’s that nobody cares it’s my Mother’s Day too I have no shame). I was like cooking for A and he said he’d watch him and I booked my ticket so fast and bolted out the door. Literally texted him from the car, “The stove is on! Pasta will be done soon!” He was right there on the bike LOL not like in another room.

re OA he called me Sat when his daughter fell asleep in the car back from SF and we had a good talk, then I talked to my stepdad. I still don’t know if I have it in me to be his partner with his schedule, but for now I’m still willing to work at it. We both shared our frustrations and needs in a calm and healthy way. Then I talked to my stepdad a bit and realized it’s either ESH or leaning towards YTA on my end LOL.

 

[WinterBub]

I didn't comment on the Kinder boost thing last time. That sounds really great! Might make the whole transition easier for her I'm excited for LO to start preschool. He's clearly ready for more. I feel like I'm going to cry dropping him off, and he's going to charge off I joke- I'd be mildly hurt if he does that, but would for sure prefer that to him crying at drop off etc, so

You've got plenty of time to think about schooling, Shae. Good if you're on the same page, though! I've heard of Christian schools that do part time in school/part time at home with guidance on the curriculum sent home. Kind of an interesting model. Home schooling isn't for us- I wouldn't do well with it, but hats off to anyone who can make it work. We will have to work out what to do after this year/maybe Pre-K.

The only thing I'd say about OA is to keep in mind that you really can't change people... he is who he is, and you either have to get on board with accepting any negatives (works both ways!) Or if the issues you see are deal breakers, then that's that. Hoping you're happy, no matter what happens also- your tween stories always terrify me lol!

 

[DobbyForever]

LOL I do love them but yeah sometimes the things they do/say. My coworker (6th grade teacher) was asking a kid about an assignment that’s like a month overdue. Convo literally was:
Teacher: Do you know where it is or do you need me to make you a copy?
Student: I know where it is.
T: .... ok. Where is it?
S: At home.
T: .... ok. Are you planning on finishing it and turning it in?
S: *scoffs* I can’t predict the future.

I had that kid last year but I’m virtual learning so I didn’t get all these gem moments

Re OA, my issue isn’t with him as a person or partner. I greatly admire him. It’s literally just his schedule is so tight then toss in that mine is as well. It might be better when I live ten minutes away and have my mom to help babysit on call basically. Just have to wait it out. Saw a interesting insta reel that said finding a healthy partner isn’t about finding a carefree relationship that doesn’t trigger your relationship issues but to find someone that you feel safe enough being triggered by who supports you as you do the hard work. And that’s exactly what he does. So I appreciate that aspect a lot. I’d rather have 100% of him 10% of the time than have anybody else 100% of the time. That could change. I could decide that I just can’t do the travel schedule long term, so for now just treading along and seeing where it goes. If it doesn’t go anywhere, that’s ok. I was fine (debatably LOL) before him.

 

[WinterBub]

So long as you're happy, dobby. That is the main thing! And i agree that it's important to be completely comfortable with a partner- my OH is the first boyfriend I had that I feel like I could be totally myself with. Travel for work sucks, but I guess you need to just go into everything assuming that that won't change.

And came back to give an unsolicited product recommendation: I bought the Clear Blue Fertility Monitor (it's like a whole little unit, not just the smiley face stick thing), and it is really awesome. It looks for both estrogen and your LH to surge, and can pinpoint O that way. It said my estrogen surged a few days ago, and I just got the LH surge this morning. Have other fertile signs, so it seems to be accurate. We're using it to help avoid, but is super useful either way. Just a tip I wanted to pass on!

 

[DobbyForever]

Yeah it’s just weird because I didn’t grow up with this. My mom was a SAHM when I was 8-23, and before that she ran her own business so she was always around. My dad worked but was always super involved once he left work for the day and wasn’t afraid to turn down work travel or modify it for us, but he also wasn’t a high level exec. My stepdad was already partner for decades so he was home for dinner and never worked weekends and had control over his schedule. I had friends growing up who had parents that were always working or gone but yeah. Wasn’t my life. And I’m happy but not happy. I miss him and I want more time with him. That will never change and I know if it did then I have to break up with him. Idk

in other news A has a pimple on his chin and a runny nose and it’s picture day. Always the way