General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[shaescott]

Gigs omg hello! Thanks for all the wedding love the monitor totally caused extra stress at first but now I know that despite the spotting, my progesterone holds high enough to support a pregnancy for long enough in the luteal phase, so I actually got a lot of reassurance from that. I also was reassured that I don’t have low estrogen in my follicular phase, basically everything seems to be running as it should. I’m not worried about elevated estrogen, it’s not correlated with any symptoms so no biggie. My LH and FSH levels seem kinda low compared to the reference range but as long as they rise appropriately and I ovulate in response, it doesn’t really matter.
I rarely use YouTube but I still see your jewelry sales pop up once in a while!

 

[Flueky88]

Here it is and it is delicious

 

[gigglebox]

Is it diet friendly Fluek? If so, need recipe!

going to attempt a keto dinner ti surprised hubby tomorrow, short ribs, cauliflower mash, and maybe a keto desert of some sort…haven’t figured that one out yet.

lol you do you Shae, I know you are getting prepared for actively TTC!! Eeeeeeeeee

 

[Flueky88]

Gigs, definitely not diet friendly but it was totally worth it to me. Going to get back on track Wednesday as we have 3 pieces left for tomorrow. I did manage to stay within my calorie range today though and not feel hungry.

Your dinner sounds yummy!! I haven't looked into keto desserts so I don't have any suggestions. Let us know how it goes

 

[WinterBub]

Your baking always looks incredible, flueky! And you're doing so amazing with the diet/lifestyle change. I've gained a good amount from all the IVF hormones , which isn't a great way to start out a pregnancy, but oh well!!! Your chicken purchase sounds super wise, though not gonna lie- I HATE handling chicken, so your issues dividing/freezing it would've set me off glad that y'all got a date night. Where did you go?

Glad that your date is going ahead, Dobby! I love the sound of your dishes. Might have to steal the skewer idea! I hope it all goes really well, and you have a great time. Hoping that this is the start of a new chapter and he takes things more seriously looking forward to hearing about how it all happens!

Hi Giggle! Thank you so much for the congrats and positivity. (Thanks to all of you!) Yes, because we did the genetic testing, we knew the gender. I'm not even quite sure how we landed on girl, as we kept going back and forth for different reasons. I've actually been kind of flipping out today out of nowhere, though- we signed paperwork saying we were transferring a female. But on the transfer day, nothing was confirmed. I mean, I do trust my clinic, but now I'm worried that wrong gender or embryo was implanted. I wouldn't care about the gender (beyond thinking the wrong thing for weeks until we found out), but now just generally worried that it was not what I'm thinking, or you know... somebody else's baby I might call them tomorrow to put my mind to rest. And/or do the NIPT for reassurance. It is just a weird feeling for other people to have handled your teeny tiny baby and there's so little I can see/feel for reassurance. Sorry- you caught me in a weird mental moment! friend

Your new friends sound amazing!! I'll be sending "stay in state" vibes your way!!! And awesome progress on your weight loss, I know you had been really frustrated, so that's amazing that it's been going so well!

Shae, I swear- you need to work in an RE's office. Your knowledge about all the hormones and all the finer details of conception are off the charts!

 

[shaescott]

Flueks that dessert looks super good!

Gigs oo short ribs sounds good. Personally I am a potato lover and cauliflower hater, but I’ll try (almost) anything once lol. I do wish I had the motivation to lose 5-10 lbs as those last 5-10 have gone to my stomach instead of the good places, but at the same time I don’t want my weight fluctuating with the wedding coming up in less than 4 months, I’m holding steady in the mid to high 150s for the past several months now and don’t want to screw up my dress alterations at the last minute. After that, maybe, but I hate leaving the house to exercise and my 800 square foot apartment does not have room for home equipment. When we get a house, we hope to have a small home gym with weights and some kind of cardio machine. No way I’m doing cardio outside the way the weather has been lately, a bit over a week ago the windchill was -36° F. If I had a had a dumbbell set at home, I’d have far fewer excuses.

Winter it does sounds stressful to leave your teeny tiny baby in the hands of someone else and trust them to implant the right one into you. But I’m sure they did their due diligence. Never hurts to get the test, because I’ve heard regulations are weirdly lacking with IVF, but I assume the workers would have a certain level of respect for the importance of proper labeling in this case.

As for the RE’s office, everything I know I learned from the internet! There’s still a lot I don’t understand about the hormone pathways and how they interact, and there’s definitely a point where I just don’t care anymore and won’t bother memorizing the fine details. The ranges I got from the fertility monitor company’s Instagram page, they posted the urine ranges on there and I saved the images for reference. I don’t have the ranges memorized at this point. But all that said, thank you very much for the compliment and confidence in my knowledge

AFM today I discovered I can detect my estrogen rising before it’s in my urine this morning my cervix was higher and CM was watery, but my urine estrogen hadn’t moved. I thought maybe I was crazy, but I did another test tonight and I was right, my estrogen more than doubled. I think it’s because urine estrogen is an average of the past several hours, it was FMU on like a 12 hour hold, so the hormone levels in it were an average of those 12 hours, and therefore much lower. Now that I’ve been off birth control for 2 years, my body has become much more obvious with fertile signs and I’ve gotten much better at detecting them. I didn’t know until today that my cervix would fly up the moment my estrogen started to rise, I expected the monitor would give me more advanced notice than my cervix would, but I guess I was wrong. That’s too bad, considering I’ve been optimizing when to take OPKs based on cervical height and CM alone for ages now and don’t need the monitor for that.

 

[gigglebox]

I’d still love the recipe if it was any good fluek, maybe i can try it with a low calorie sweetener.
Have you heard of truwhip? It’s like cool whip but they have a keto version with low cals and carbs. I tried mixing it with PB2 and it was so good!! Tasted like a peanut butter mousse. I’m going to try it with chocolate pb2 next…

shae I think that’s pretty neat you have so much insight into your own body. No judgment from me.

Winter, whatever you have to do to ease your mind! Pregnancy is full of worry anyway, and you have an additional layer of stress just with all you’ve been through. Big hugs!

afm…ugh dtd tonight and hubby got sloppy! Not ok! I’m highly fertile right now…

((read on for tmi: he pulled out “just in time”, aimed for his hand then totally overshot right at my lady bits! Gahhh))

I’m not entirely sure if he made it out in time as it all happened pretty fast, but he thinks he did….but there’s no denying full amounts of, to quote J, pickle juice all over the opening to the jar

I’m sure the odds of this turning into anything are slim at best but we all know how the mind works! This will be in the back of my mind until af shows up.

grrr you’d think I’d learn by now, lol! I think one, if not both of my suspected c/p’s were from similar mishaps. We may have to do the love glove during fertile times going forward and just hope it’s not too irritating (that has been a problem in the past).

I’ll probably ov in a day or two by the feel of things. Ugh at least this really solidifies that I do NOT want another baby…if y’all recall I was on the fence at one point. Right now the feeling is mostly fear!

 

[gigglebox]

HA ok well evidently this nearly exact situation happened last January lol

 

[shaescott]

Gigs ooooooooo oopsie daisy! This thread is remaining on topic at least I’m glad it solidified your feelings though, it’s hard to be on the fence with what you want.

 

[gigglebox]

Lol!!! Yes I suppose the theme lives on!
I’m already in my own mind rationalizing how a 4th could be nice, just in case. Hubby still continues to half-joke about it frequently. I know we’d figure it out…I just don’t want to lol

 

[DobbyForever]

We had an incredible dinner. I brought caprese and bruschetta. He made beets and ribeye. We drank wine. We laughed. We cuddled. Then he broke up with me because he’s trash and I deserve better (his words). So I’ll be having a pity party for a hot minute

 

[gigglebox]

Whaaat??????? I am so confused at the progression of the evening! Does he just hate himself or do you think he might secretly not be “feeling it” and doesn’t know hope to say that? Regardless, that is the very definition if leading you on….I hope he gave you a good explanation

 

[DobbyForever]

He said he hates himself and proceeded to detail every mistake he’s made over the past five years. He said he and his ex were co dependent. He feels like he took advantage of his friend’s attraction to him to get laid and now they have a kid. His exact words were “I love my daughter, but she is a mistake. This 4 year old soul exists now because I took advantage of someone. She shouldn’t be here, and I have to think about that every time I look at her.” That he was sleeping with 4 people at one point (I already knew this) after a bad breakup and they all thought they were exclusively dating him. And basically he can never love me when he hates himself and he’s in therapy but it’s obviously not going to change him overnight and I deserve better than him. But he has tried to do right by me and that he’s tried to stop sleeping with me because he can see how much I love him and it’s not fair to keep sleeping with me when he doesn’t know if he wants to be with me. But he didn’t want to disrespect me by breaking up over text or not treating me with respect when he did it. That apparently was what the weekend away was supposed to be for. To give us a chance to talk and process through it away from stress of life and to do one last nice thing for me. Whatever.

 

[gigglebox]

I'm so sorry Dobs. All I can say is I hope he is genuinely treating you "right" by letting you go, but that doesn't make it hurt any less. I'm really sorry this is all happening. I wish I could say something more comforting!
And ouch about the daughter. I get his explanation but that is harsh, man. I wonder if he'd still feel that way if she wasn't "neuro-divergent"? I'm sure that really changes things and adds a layer of stress. Not that we don't love our divergent kiddos, but you know as well as I do it can be an added challenge. But I have to say, calling her a mistake is a bit of a red flag...I've met many people with oopsy kiddos and usually it's something more like "the situation is sh*t but if it didn't happen that way, I wouldn't have my kid"....they love the kid but hate the circumstance kind of thing.

Also has he been sleeping with other people during this whole time? Not that matters if you're ok with it, but just wondering if that's the game he's currently playing...?

 

[WinterBub]

Dobby, I'm so sorry. Honestly, though? What a dick! You don't ask someone out for Valentine's Day to break up with them. And everything you said he said is me, me, me, me. His daughters existence is about him, your happiness is about him, his past relationships were all about him. Nope! You do not need that kind of garbage, and you deserve better. Im sure things sting right now, but you will be better off without getting yanked along, and you deserve an absolute sweetheart who talks about you, not just himself and how the whole world is hanging on his every movement

 

[WinterBub]

Good luck, Giggle! I guess we're rooting for no pregnancy? You made me lol with your pickle and jar comment On the plus side, it's good if this makes you reflect and decide you're 100% complete. I'll be honest, id be excited if you were pregnant, though

Shae- you really do know so much! And RE is all about all these minute things that we have going on. I've learnt so much through my experiences and still know nothing! It's quite amazing how simple the basics of reproduction are, and how unbelievably complex it is at the same time. That's always a career direction you can keep under your hat

AFM- I asked them to check which embryo was transferred, and they kindly uploaded a document showing which one of ours it was bet theyre counting down the days until I graduate and am my regular OB's problem

 

[gigglebox]

LOL Winter! I am sure they have far nuttier patients than you. Cut yourself some slack!! How are you feeling? Any symptoms yet? I always disliked the early days...symptoms suck, but not having them is worrisome, and having them then not having them is the worst....even though all if it can be totally normal! I know I've experienced it all!!
Last time I borrowed a fetal monitor from my SIL. worst. decision. ever. Wow talk about giving yourself something else to freak out over!!! 100% do no recommend. I do, however, recommend laying down and seeing if you can feel your fundal height. That actually made me feel better because at least I could feel a change happening...not that you can tell if it's getting larger as it's so gradual, but at least it's something.

I'm not gonna lie, I'll be excited, too hahahahah It'll be a mix of terror and excitement for sure. But there's some relief in having the decision taken out of my hands if that makes sense. I'm not going to be actively trying for another one (ever, likely) but if it happens....I'll blame hubby
Chances are low, though. I mean I know it happens but I would just be surprised...that said I'll probably still test early just for funsies. Today is likely ov day, judging by the pain in my left ovary...tomorrow at the latest.

 

[shaescott]

Dobs, I don’t even know what to say. I’m so sorry your nice evening turned sour. This situation just plain sucks. I would be so mad if someone invited me for a nice dinner and we had a great time and then they broke up with me after all that. That’s some M Night Shyamalan level plot twist bullshit. I agree with the others, calling his daughter a mistake is a pretty big red flag, even though he says he loves her, and it does seem like he’s making everything about him. His lack of confidence in himself is unfortunate, and I’m afraid I agree with him that if he hates himself so much, he can’t possibly love you the way you deserve to be loved. His actions have proven that time and time again. He might be a perfectly nice person, but he seems like he’s just not mentally capable of maintaining a healthy relationship, at least right now.

Winter that’s great that they keep full documents regarding the embryos like that. I’m sure they’ve gotten much more intense requests than a document, so don’t stress about it.

Gigs I won’t lie, I’d also be excited if you were pregnant we’ll see, the timing was good for a baby but of course you didn’t get the payload in an optimal way for conception to occur. I’ll be stalking for updates lol.

 

[gigglebox]

More later but omg “payload” ahhahahhahahahahhahaha

 

[shaescott]

Gigs I’m glad you liked that one

I decided to get a folding exercise bike for my apartment to try to force myself to exercise more. I’m a bit of a slug, and I really should get in better shape before getting pregnant. Hopefully it won’t interfere with my dress fitting. I found this bike recommended by Cosmo and it’s got a $40 coupon right now ($160 after coupon). I’ll let you guys know how it goes.


The fertility monitor says my estrogen level is back down (but still says I’m fertile, and the example chart shows a rise then drop then rise) and says my LH level hasn’t moved. I did an OPK and it was negative but it definitely looked elevated. Not sure why the monitor isn’t showing an elevation. I’ll take another OPK tonight and if it’s positive I’ll use the monitor again to see what it says.

Our microwave has also decided to take longer to heat food as of two days ago, I googled the issue and it said it’s cheaper to replace the microwave than fix it, so we’ve got a shiny new microwave arriving today.