General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[shaescott]

Pretty we honestly hadn’t had a huge fight like that in at least a year, so I’m not terribly worried, but thank you

That’s crazy that Alex’s new teeth are coming in before he lost the baby teeth. Two rows of teeth, oh my!

AFM currently bleeding (not full period but a good bit) and my cervix is high as heck and I’m like stop teasing me I know it’s overrrr

 

[PrettyInInk42]

Apparently getting adult teeth before you lose the baby teeth is kinda common. It happened to my cousin, but he was too scared to wiggle his loose baby teeth, so they just settled again. The top and bottom teeth. So, he had to get the baby teeth pulled. He liked the idea of having multiple rows of teeth though; it made him feel like a shark. lol

 

[DobbyForever]

Winter definitely thinking of you as well

Pretty I was thinking it reminded me of a shark jaw, too . That’s too bad about his dad. But yeah gotta deal with the consequences of your actions.

Shae sorry about the yo-yo with the cervix/bleeding. I was also going to say the communication may be an issue but I feel like you’ve only ever mentioned these kinds of miscommunications when talking TTC and yeah infrequently. But that is a huge reason I stopped seeing RS. What we need when we argue is completely oppositional and since we couldn’t find the middle ground nothing got resolved.

re bloat I was down a lb this morning so here’s hoping the water/bloat go away. OA hasn’t confirmed our plans for my birthday and I have a feeling he’ll cancel. He always acts like this when he has to cancel.

today was A’s last day of summer school. Idk what we’re gonna do for a month lol. I’m so tired already.

 

[DobbyForever]

I hit Prime Day way too hard today… =\

ETA so I’m down 3.5 lbs since I first weighed in 3w ago. Nothing last in the last week though unless. Yay periods. Trying to keep my window 10-6 so I can keep at it at work. I’m thinking if I keep breakfast light and drink my protein at lunch then I should be able to maintain eating every 2h. I just have to figure out a breakfast situation that doesn’t involve a trip to the staff room or a 1m trip to the staff room on days I have yard duty. Also got an electric tea kettle so I can have my detox tea at work. I don’t want to get a mini fridge in my classroom because they make you haul it out every summer. Same with a microwave. Honestly I’ll probably get in trouble with the toaster so playing dumb on that one.

 

[shaescott]

Dobs for prime day I spent $1400 on building myself a gaming computer when I don’t even play video games (I am now required to per DH since I’m going to have a better PC than him and also I spent all that money).

For breakfast I started drinking overnight oats, there’s a company with that name that makes packs that you mix with milk, it has like 20g of protein not including the milk. I really like the mocha dream, it has 100mg of caffeine too so I skip the morning coffee when I have that flavor. Most flavors don’t have caffeine though. I’d skip the s’mores flavor, not a fan. Not sure if that would work for your needs, but it’s a thought.

Pretty I was trying to think what the two rows of teeth reminded me of, a shark is spot on! I never had teeth just not fall out, but I also liked to wiggle my loose teeth, so I suppose that helped lol.

AFM a few days ago I came up with a crazy idea and I think DH and I may very well go through with it. Several years ago my papa mentioned the idea of me taking his house and living in it. It wasn’t a feasible plan at the time so I kinda disregarded it. After the TTC fight I realized that it is now a very viable option and would solve all DH’s pre-TTC worries. DH has confirmed that if we move in with him (with the plan that we’d stay in the house/assume ownership after he passes, which may not be for several years hopefully), he’d be willing to start TTC. We’d offer to pay the property taxes and utilities, and my papa is 96 and starting to need more help around the house, so that’s something we can help with as well. We’d also like to avoid putting him in a nursing home if at all possible, and currently he’s still sharp as a tack, so any physical ailments are easier to deal with, especially since I’m a nurse. After we discussed this idea and agreed to bring it up with my papa, we got our new lease agreement stating rent is going up another $100 and DH said screw that. So, we’ve arranged for us to visit my papa on the 22nd-23rd weekend and discuss the idea with him in person. He’s a 3 hour drive away so we have to plan a weekend trip, it’s not a day trip kind of thing. But we have other family near where he lives and there’s a hospital 15 min away from his house I could work at, and DH is likely going to get a remote job soon through his aunt. My mom said to emphasize how it’s good for us because my papa is very proud and very selfless, so he wouldn’t want us moving in mainly to help him, which is funny because my instinct is to emphasize how it’s good for him so we don’t look like freeloaders. My contract ends September 30th so we would likely ask to extend our lease one month and then move at the end of the month. I would definitely continue working for a while (not travel) but we would be able to survive on DH’s income alone, albeit frugally, so I could be a stay at home mom. I’d probably go per diem to keep my license active. So ladies, if my papa says yes and all goes well, we are looking at a TTC start date of October!!!

 

[DobbyForever]

Shae that’s such wonderful news! I’m so glad there’s a plan that honestly sounds like a win for everyone! Just make sure that house is in a living trust not willed to you. Probate is a b*. I hope the visit goes well. That’s so exciting!

Re overnight oats I see it all the time as an ad on Instagram lol. My mom was talking to her doctor and recommended it to. I’m wary of the texture and idk that I can force myself to eat healthy oatmeal compared to buttery sugary oatmeal. I couldn’t scan switch to steel cut oats lol. Plus the milk would be an issue. I get to work at about 7:30, doors open 7:57, and then recess at 9:55-10:15. I had yard duty twice a week. So anything I can just have sitting in my classroom would be ideal though I could technically mix it real quick when I tag out for a potty run. I should look into it though.

I was a tooth wiggled too haha. I swear his tooth is back in place and not moving. He’s still saying it’s loose when he eats so idk.

Oooo nice! At least he’s not asking to swap or trade hahah. Any games in particular? I haven’t had a desktop since college! Ah the glory days of possuming kids in Left 4 Dead 2.

I’m honestly terrified of totaling what I spent. It’s mostly all stuff I needed but can live without, so I added it to a wishlist to see if it or a similar product went on sale. But I went hard! =\. The one splurge for me was a foot spa that was nearly half off. My next thing on my self care is to take better care of my hands and feet. I only ever soak my feet when I’m doing a pedicure. And it’s usually in a mop bucket I got at target for like $5 I figured it’s my birthday present to myself. I deserve one splurge. It says I can use any epsom salt and I have one I love but I got some foot bath bombs for fun.

As for practical stuff I needed to get or replace: got a garden rack on wheels, a new privacy curtain for my kitchen window, blue 4 in heels and thigh high stockings because why not, a new garden shovel, new garden gloves, a space saver coffee table and rug to go under, a utensil holder, walking shoes, a 512 gig microsd for A’s tablet that keeps running out of storage, a rock mix as I want to plant a bunch of succulents and keep the dumb feral cats out of them, lightbulbs, small butterfly decorations for my fictitious garden, a play mat for the garage so A can jump in there and stop pissing off the neighbor at 7am, a car seat travel bag/backpack, two small art pieces, some magnetic shelves for my fridge, a couple pots, a toaster, a 5 tier storage rack, seed starter kits cuz trying to plant milkweed, a new phone mount for my bike, vacuum bags, and aforementioned electric tea kettle. Also grabbed some stuff for A: a new wall name decal to finish his room, some tooth fairy stuff, a ridiculous amount of kids horse books, a pinkfong plush and a baby shark animal book, and a Dino floor puzzle.

 

[shaescott]

Dobs I know nothing about trusts and wills tbh. Any chance I can buy the house from him for a dollar lol? I googled the trust and I’m confused about the need for a trustee if I’m the beneficiary, who the heck would the trustee be? I am in confusion. I would hate to put him through a bunch of legal paperwork, but at the same time I don’t want to get kicked out of the house by a bank when he dies (idek if it works that way).

I would say the oats probably won’t work for you then because they’re supposed to soak in the milk overnight, I know 4 hours works cuz I’ve done it but I doubt they’ll soften enough right away. If you do it as a pre-work breakfast it would work, but not if you want it at like 10 am. I drink it while getting ready for work.

For games, idk, whatever games his friends play lol. I think they still play left for dead 2 actually. But mostly warzone. I don’t even own that game, I don’t play video games at all, but my laptop from college maxes out the CPU by opening task manager so I can’t even learn to play them on it.

Dang girl you might have me beat jk probably not, unless those pots were high end in which case maybe.

Speaking of which, if we move in with my Papa all the registry items we got are basically useless because he already has a fully stocked house with everything we’d need I’d still bring them though, can’t have too many casserole dishes I suppose. There’s also the issue of needing to move stuff for us to fit. I hope he wouldn’t mind us using one of the extra bedrooms as an office and taking out the bed. Not sure what we’d do with that bed. We can probably break down the frame but idk where we’d put the mattress. Also I really hope the bed in the room we’d take as our bedroom is a king size so we can just swap the mattress to ours. It’s probably a nice bed frame since it’s old (like solid wood, carved) so I’d hate to get rid of it in favor of our sad platform bed lol. But DH is obsessed with our mattress and will definitely not give it up. With our luck it’ll be a queen. Although all of this would be moot if he says no lol. I doubt he would say no, but it’s always possible.

 

[DobbyForever]

Oh also my auntie, the one with cancer, passed today . My poor cousin

 

[DobbyForever]

Will read tomorrow but long story short you may want to talk to a local life plan attorney. The trustee is just a fancy name for person in charge of the trust. So I’m the trustee of my revocable living trust. A is my successor as long as he’s 25 otherwise my mom is my successor. My twin brothers are alternates. If both A and I were to pass before he’s 25 or should he pass before me (may God will it never to be true) my trust is split equally among my brothers. Anything can be put in the trust ie bank accounts, deeds, so on. On any insurance paperwork, my beneficiary is my living trust vs naming a specific person. Once someone inherits my trust though, the trust dissolves and it’s just theirs. I can’t remember why you’re not supposed to gift or sell your house to your kids while you’re alive but I know it has something to do with taxes. If you just will a house to someone, you have to go through probate to claim it and that’s like some percentage of the cost of the assets. CA has a rolling percentage. So lets take my one condo. It’s worth roughly 700k. The probate fee is 4% of 100k + 3% of 100k + 2% of 500k or 4k + 3k + 10k. So to get just my condo alone A has to pay 17,000. It’s also not always a quick process. Take Chadwick Boseman (may he rest in power). He has a will not a living trust. His wife paid nearly a million dollars and it took two years to sort out his estate.

My will is like logistics. Who has my power of attorney and who is my medical proxy. What I want with my ashes. How I want my trust used. Yadda yadda.

ETA I spent like $350 on the prime days, $195 in the pre sale deals, and $50 earlier in the month. I love a good deal, so if it was like more than $30 it sat on my wishlist overnight lol. Like my most expensive stuff we’re $60/70 (the foot spa, the garden tool rack, the 5 tier storage). Also tried to be a Good Samaritan and do the “delay delivery for fewer trips and boxes” option since most of my orders were in chunks. But I still ended up with 3-4 different delivery days

 

[DobbyForever]

Haha well maybe when you’re at work he can sneak on it. Though I love you two gaming together. My gamer boyfriends were losers, but I loved gaming with them
and our clans.

Idk your dad but I’m sure you all can come up with a situation and space agreement that everyone can live with. Esp if DH does work remote, only natural he’ll need office space.

Is it bad to raise rent? Lol I raised my tenant’s rent $110 if she renews. It’s still $1,100 less than market value. The rent in that area skyrocketed after I gave her the number. I was okay losing $500 but not twice that. Esp since I’m paying the same amount in rent and now I have a loan with my mom as well.

I had a great life plan lawyer during the pandemic. It did cost a few grand, but it’s essential to me once you have kids to have a plan. We had a couple emails over pricing and options (I wanted the full shebang will + trust paperwork). I filled out a questionnaire and then we had a Zoom call to hash out details and make sure he understood it. Then I met him in person to review and sign the paperwork. All quick and easy. But I did have to take the paperwork to my bank to change my accounts. Everything else I handled online.

It could sit while I’m at work. Basically my schedule is 10: breakfast, 12: snack, 2: lunch, 4: snack, 6: dinner. I aim for 200-300 calories each meal and snacks 100-200. But between A and work, I’m usually out of the house most days from 7am to 4/5pm. I am also consider a huge shift to a 12-8pm eating window but I doubt I could make it to noon on an empty tummy.

 

[shaescott]

Dobs I’m sorry to hear about your auntie

I wouldn’t say it’s bad to raise rent but when it’s already at market value and then it’s going up $100/month each year and your pay isn’t increasing as well, it can make it harder to pay the bills.

 

[DobbyForever]

Thank you. I have closure, but my cousin is struggling. We had her viewing today and she’ll have a private cremation.

Yeah I raised her rent to like 2450 and Zillow says my rent estimate is 3400, which would actually cover my mortgage, hoa, and I’d pull a small profit. As it stands, even with the increase, I’m operating at a loss of $800. Even if I compare it to just my current rent, I was operating at a loss last year. Raising hers $100 means I’ll break even.

 

[DobbyForever]

Lol yeah Shae tell dad to do what the rich do



now how he went about it is not a good idea I stand by use a life plan attorney but yeah trusts

 

[shaescott]

Dobs it’s my papa, not my dad. Not planning on moving in with my parents lol, they’d be incapable of not parenting me even though I’m a whole ass adult.

 

[DobbyForever]

You’re gonna have to explain to my black/Asian brain how papa and dad are different lol when I read it I def read it as like a young child posh spice “papa!” Though to be fair I was confused lol cuz exactly you talk about your parents all the time. And lol kids will always be kids. I’m 34 today with a soon to be 6 year old and I called my grandparents last night to bail me out of a self inflicted crisis

 

[PrettyInInk42]

Dobby - Papa is like a short form of Grandpa. That was what my nephew would call my dad. I can't remember if he was originally gonna be Grandpa or Opa, but my nephew just found Papa easier to say. I know of a few other people that referred to their grandfathers as Papa. I guess it may be kind of a white thing? lol
Sorry to hear about your aunt. My condolences. -.-
And Happy belated Birthday!

shae - FX that your Papa agrees to your plan. It really does sound like a win-win. Dunno much about passed ownership easily though. Probably best to contact a lawyer near you.

Hope all you other ladies are well.

Re: Prime day. I think I just bought a dress and a plastic outdoor rug. lol

AFM, after 2 FRERs and several ICs, I think it's safe to say I'm not pg. Oh well. Maybe we'll have one more oopsie In a couple years though. lol
In other news, my mom and I took the kids to a Blue Jays baseball game on Sunday. It was special cuz after the game, they let the kids onto the field to run the bases. They got kinda antsy a few times, but otherwise, things went well. They said they'd want to do it again, so we're taking them back on Sept 10th.

 

[shaescott]

I guess it may be kind of a white thing? lol

I was gonna say the same thing.

Yes Dobs, Papa is a common name for grandfather for us fair skinned folk DH has a Poppa (uncommon spelling but pronounced the same). His dad has claimed Poppa as his grandfather name already lol. I had no idea that it was a white thing until right now

Pretty the game looks like it was a lot of fun! I remember them bringing kids on the field at the local minor league stadium as a kid, my dad brought me once when I was like 10 and I had a lot of fun. It’s so great that you’re bringing them back in September! And Zoey is such a cutie!

 

[DobbyForever]

Aww pretty great pics! Definitely going to be a lifelong memory. Are y’all thinking of going to more games in the future? Giants (baseball) and Sharks (lol don’t need to tell you it’s hockey) games were fond childhood memories. Saw the globetrotters once and I’ll never forget it. Sorry the oops timing didn’t pan out. I think you two have another in you.

and lol I’m not gonna lie I was thinking that cuz I swear all my friends kids’ call their grandpa something different because they just all happen to have different cultural backgrounds. I mean papa as grandpa makes sense. The pa of your pa.

Omg I got ten hours of sleep. OA almost missed my birthday but sent me a recording of him singing and apologizing for having to bail right as I crawled into bed. Perfect end to the day. I’m scared to see if my plants survived. I don’t think I did a good job planting them. And really hoping this fat cat that poops in my mulch stays out of them. Have some more organizing to do in the garage but hoping A will just let me rest before horsemanship.

 

[shaescott]

Dobs happy birthday!!!

DH’s great nana died yesterday. She was 101 and had been declining for about 2 weeks. She stopped eating the day before she died so we knew it was close, that woman was like me with food, it was her true love lol. They’d go visit her in the nursing home and if they announced it was meal time she was immediately like “byeeeee” *wheels off to dining room*. Anyway. We’re worried her funeral may interfere with us meeting with my Papa. His parents haven’t said yet when it will be, but we were supposed to spend this weekend in Vermont to see my Papa and a weekend is of course a convenient time for a funeral. I wouldn’t mind postponing our trip to Vermont, the issue is that we have to tell our landlord if we’re renewing our lease or not by August 1st. Since I work every other weekend, this is the only weekend I have before then. Stress.

 

[DobbyForever]

Thanks! It was a good day.

Sorry to hear about the family loss. 101 is quite the life! Any word on the funeral? Hopefully you can still get a chance to figure out the lease situation.

AFM A’s bday was yesterday so Thurs I took him to Great America, which happened to fall on one of their Mardi Gras carnival days. We had a ton of fun. Yesterday, we spent the day with the monks then cake and swim class and then swimming at my friend’s pool. Well have family dinner tonight but trying to chill today. He’s so dysregulated. Still haven’t heard from my attorney about school transportation. Like school is in 3 weeks. Ugh