General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[PrettyInInk42]

I'm friggen wiped out from Alex's BDay party, so I'll comment properly later. But Happy belated Birthday to you and A, Dobby!!

 

[shaescott]

Dobs happy birthday to A!

Pretty happy birthday to Alex!


AFM: good news, my papa said yes! We didn’t broach the topic of ownership of the house yet, but we asked if we could come live with him starting at the end of September and he said yes, he was happy to hear we have cats because he likes them but can’t take care of one being 96. He also has mice, so cats will be very helpful. The house does need some work but my papa doesn’t want us to do any bill paying, he only relented when I insisted on groceries, so we’ll have extra money for those repairs. The family is very excited that he won’t be living alone anymore. One of my aunts had tried to suggest he move to an assisted living and he shut that DOWN, he’s a very proud man. So this is really the best thing for everyone.

 

[Flueky88]

Shae I'm so happy he said yes. That is great news for you, SO, and papa!!

Pretty, how was the party?? Glad the boys enjoyed the game so much and wanted to go again

Dobby happy belated birthday to you and A. It sounds like you guys had a good time. I hope you hear about transportation soon. V goes back on the 1st for like 2 hours and the 4th is her 1st full day. It's blowing my mind how quick summer break went.


AFM took part of last week off and am really dreading going back tomorrow. It was nice to chill for most of it. Girls are doing pretty good. V said she missed school but I'm sure once she starts waking up early for school she won't miss it that much.

 

[DobbyForever]

Shae that’s awesome news! Win win for everyone!

Pretty Happy Belated Birthday! Can’t believe we’ve got a pair of 6 year olds!

Fluek ooo the first? So early! Definitely flew by. I’m glad you got some time off! Going back is never fun haha

 

[PrettyInInk42]

shae - My condolences to DH and you. But I'm glad to hear things went well with your Papa.

Dobby - Sounds like A had a pretty good BDay. Did he have a party too?
And, I know, right? 6 already. Where did the time go? They're a third of the way to adulthood. So crazy.
We're going to another baseball game in September.

Flueky - That's the only sucky thing about time off; having to go back to work. Glad that you got to put your feet up though.
And the party was good. Decent turn out, nice weather, good friends. So, no complaints.

AFM, Alex just lost his 2nd tooth before bed tonight.
And I have a little story for you all. Gonna try to keep this short...
The night before Alex's party, I was up til past 4am prepping food, cleaning, decorating, etc. The whole time, SO is playing PC games. We ended up going to bed at the same time. I'm ready to try to get 4-5 hours of sleep before more prep and he starts trying to get some action. I'd blown off his last couple advances over the past few day, so I was like (internally) "ok, fine, this won't take long anyway." He takes care of me first, like usual, and then goes to get on top, which is very different. Literally for years, I've been on top cuz of his size. But he's lost 25+ lbs since January, so now that we're doing a "new" position, I'm more into it. He gets inside (condomless) and then almost immediately pulls out and says "I really want this, but I also really don't want to raise another baby." He then does the same thing 2 more times and then just stops and lays back down. Like, alright, cool. Thanks for wasting my time. Just FYI, there are condoms literally an arm's length away, in my bedside table. And AF is still MIA. Probably super unlikely anything would have resulted from this encounter. Men. *rolls eyes* lol

 

[DobbyForever]

Nah no party. All of his best friends are traveling. I might do one during the school year. We’ll see. He did mention he wanted to see his friends and have a party so I do feel bad about that, but I can’t change the fact that they’re literally not even in the country lol. His bestie and her siblings (that he calls his brother and sister too) are in Greece the entire month. Definitely haven’t thought about the 1/3 of the way to being an adult lol but I do often think about how we’re ten years out from driving/independence. Bittersweet.

Glad the party went well on your end! You always throw great parties. Sorry about the weird bd moment. That’s great that SO was feeling frisky and confident in his weight loss to be on top! And at least he made sure you were taken care of even if he didn’t quite finish. Bummer about the easy access to condoms not being taken advantage of.

So I got pissed yesterday. I knew I shouldn’t have bought the tequila, and I misjudged what I could handle. I try not to drink while A is awake or limit it to 1-2 drinks spread far apart with meals. But I got trashed and I didn’t want Aiden with me. My brother and his girlfriend had to come get A. He takes his bar exam tomorrow. I feel like an absolute s* mom and s* sister. This is the second time since my aunt died that I haven’t been happy with my drinking in front of A. So I’m going to have to do some soul searching on my boundaries with booze. That’s the other hard thing about A getting older. One day, I’m going to have to sit him down and explained I’m an alcoholic and how he’s at greater risk for becoming one, too.

Also starting to wonder if I need to put him on adhd meds. But he has anxiety and we have addiction issues in our family. He’s so young. And yes his energy is exhausting but it makes him so incredibly athletic. Sigh.

 

[PrettyInInk42]

Well, he pretty much always makes sure I'm taken care of. It's just that I'm generally not in the mood and would much rather sleep. I dunno if it's a hormone issue or being overstimulated/touched out by the end of the day, but I generally have zero interest. I'm also slightly offended that he has no interest in making another gorgeous child with me. lol. That being said, probably best to get established at a new, better paying job before accidents happen.
And thanks for the party compliment. I try. There's only so many years before your kids don't want a big fuss made. Gotta make the most of it.
Was your tolerance kinda low, or were you drinking on an empty stomach? Either way, can't un-ring that bell. Just be more careful next time. We all make mistakes. I have addictive personalities in my family too. It's hard, but at least you know and can try to be proactive about it.
Is a Dr recommending meds for A, or is that something you're considering on your own?

 

[DobbyForever]

That’s fair. After a long day of mom-ing, it’s understandable to not be in the mood. And awww I wouldn’t see it as that. More like you made three gorgeous kids, what more could a guy ask for? And that infant stage is hard. He probably just tired rn. I don’t think he actually is taking 4 off the table.

I’m not sure. I was fine. I made A lunch and then I made mine. But I noticed the last two times I made mashed potatoes that I threw up. And my steak was more rare than I wanted because I took it out early. Then it just hit. I knew I needed to throw it up but I was struggling to get it out so I called my brother to get A just in case I couldn’t. Luckily I got lucky right before he showed up, he took A to dinner then to my mom’s, and I took a nap. Nobody gave me a hard time about it. They just reminded me I can’t be home alone drinking and I need to reach out when I’m depressed not drink. Though I did reach out and that’s what led to my mom and I fighting for the last two weeks.

People always bring up meds. I know someone on his care team brought it up before school started. My old lawyer repeatedly brought it up. My family brings it up. Strangers ask. His teachers can’t legally bring it up or comment on it, but they can say his interventions aren’t helping his attention. They’re saying he can only attend for 3-5m for non preferred activities. Different studies have different opinions, but generally a 6 year old should be able to focus anywhere from 12-30 minutes in class. Part of why I like 2nd grade and up. They’re developmentally able to focus on a mini lesson then you break into practice work, which I usually allow free seating and collaboration. So I’m starting to worry that, for school, I have to consider it.

 

[DobbyForever]

Omg so we took the horse out for a walk in the trail and Aiden stepped over a 4 ft long (non venomous) snake. It coupled into strike/defense and this horse just looked at it and was like “Not today” and gave it one swift stomp on the head. I felt bad though it’s head was like flattened by if was delirious not dead but obviously nothing to be done =\

 

[PrettyInInk42]

Nah, I know 3 is more than enough kids for him. But I guess I can start making jokes like "the boys have each other, but Zoey doesn't have a sister. It's not fair for her." And see how he reacts. lol

That's good that he was being supportive instead of giving you crap. Maybe just reach out to one of your bros instead of you mom next time.

Well, hopefully with age will come better focus. Maybe if the time for meds comes, just keep the dosage as low as possible.

RIP to that snake. The animal kingdom is crazy. :/

Hope sll you ladies are doing well.

AFM, AF has returned and SO is quite relived. lol. Alex lost his 2nd tooth. Otherwise, not much else to report.

 

[DobbyForever]

Awww that’s a cute joke! Awww congrats to Alex!!! Do you do tooth fairy? A’s tooth is still loose but I finally found a dentist equipped for special needs. She managed one x-ray and said I do need to start wiggling that tooth as the new one is forming. No cavities despite it being sugar summer!

We’ll see. I am agreeing to basically half his day in the mild/mod room, which is more forgiving than a Gen Ed classroom. I got a ton of books. One had a great biological take on adhd: it’s hunter instincts forced to live in a farming world. While the book is pro interventions including medication and SDC, idk just makes me appreciate his adhd even more and less likely to choose meds.

Well my brother doesn’t live here. He was only here for the weekend because he had to take the bar exam. So he was in study mode and I didn’t want to bother him. Everyone in my family is just imploding over my auntie. And since we’re toxic that means they don’t talk to each other about what’s pissing them off, they just talk s* behind backs and scream at other people. Plus my stepdad has a new gf but this one is more toxic than the last and now he’s being a dick to my mom.

afm nothing new really I’m getting my class key on Monday but not back to work til the 10th. OA and I have a play date hopefully next weekend. Emailed my doctor because I’m still not losing weight. Still fluctuating up and down between 140-145 (I’m only 5’2 so it’s not ideal and I can tell I’m storing a lot of fat in my thighs and stomach). My tenant missed her deadline to renew so I gave her until Monday. It’s 60 days and I don’t owe her 60 days notice but since she’s the daughter of my ex coworker. I am gonna boot her though. My mom already said she’ll rent it for $600 more than she does which would have me break even on the mortgage. Just have my hoa. If she doesn’t follow through I’ll just get a property company to rent it out. I do feel bad because I like her mom a lot, and I feel like I should tell the mom her daughter is ghosting me re renewing. Because the reality is she can’t afford to buy or rent in that area and he brother and his gf already live at home with the mom. So chances are she’s going to have to move back to a less desirable area hours away from her mom when she has two small kids and her mom was just diagnosed with cancer.

 

[shaescott]

Just realized I’ve been gone for like a week, oops. Night shift literally makes your life revolve around it, like my off days are purely recovery days and I have the day before and day after a shift ruined because I have to sleep during the day for both. One month down, 2 months to go. I have a call with a recruiter for the hospital near my papa next week.

Pretty sorry for AF. Very exciting about Alex losing his tooth!

Dobs sorry to hear about your rough night with tequila. Much love and I hope you figure out something that works for you. In my experience, most people have to cut it out completely. That’s what my dad had to do, and he’s been sober since I was 14. I know you’ve tried just being responsible with it but of course it’s very hard not to slip up when you’ve already started drinking. But whatever you choose to do, we are here for you.

The story about the horse and the snake kinda made me laugh, not gonna lie just imagining the flattened head. Of course I feel a little bad for the snake but it shouldn’t have gone near a kid

Sorry things are chaotic in your family right now. Deaths seem to bring out the worst in some people. We’ve been seeing that on DH’s side of the family

 

[DobbyForever]

Shae not gonna lie I was like where are you lol. Awesome news about the interview! Hopefully all works out. That’d be really great. When does your lease end? Misery does not love company. Sorry hear there’s been some friction for DH’s family. Emotions def run high after losing someone.

Right?! Like I feel bad but it was kind of incredible to watch irl. Love that horse. If his owner ever sells him, I’d totally buy him. He puts up with Aiden’s shit all the time.

yeah the thing is it’s fine most of the time but when it’s not I’m not happy. I don’t want A to grow up and remember me that way. Broke my heart the other day I caught him spitting in the toilet and he said he was sick like mommy. Ugh. I have had a drink here and there out on special occasions. No booze in the house for now and saying no to some drinks that I’d normally not think twice about.

Afm super stressed but whatever. Had to non renew my tenant for ghosting me. Still no word on transport for A. I got AF today and she’s come in full force making yo for last month. It hurts so much I may take something for the pain and definitely bleeding the usual amount. But I like that. Oh took A to Discovery kingdom. I guess the dolphins are rescues with debilitating disorders that wouldn’t allow them to survive in the wild. Plus they had a ton more rides than great America for kids under 46”. If it was closer, I’d definitely get a season pass. But A got to feed the giraffe!

 

[shaescott]

Dobs the lease ends august 31st but we’re extending it by one month so we’ll be moving out September 30th. My work contract ends the same day so we’ll have to see what day to do the actual moving based on my schedule, which I don’t have yet.

That theme park sounds really fun!

 

[DobbyForever]

Ooooo kk that's why I could't remember if it was Aug or Sept. That's so awesome! Great timing with being able to extend til your contract is up.

He had a blast. We have fewer meltdowns each time we hit up an amusement park, but I'm still recovering lol. Meanwhile he's up and running. Gyn said she wants a telephone appointment to better understand my concerns to figure out if it's pcos related. I'm gonna give it a couple more weeks. I'm changing some of my foods around and adding wall pilates. Hoping that's enough to get over this weird pcos weight hump.

in other news my mom finally got Covid just in time for school to start. My brother and I had to go work in her room for her. I need to do one more bulletin. I’m not feeling great but I’m also not sleeping. My expired home test said negative but getting a pcr done today to be safe and I’ll pick up a couple tests since I’m supposed to see OA Tuesday night and start work on Thursday =\. But that’s on the line because idk if my mom will feel well enough to have A or if she’s working the first day. I saw her on Wed. She wasn’t feeling great but she didn’t seem sick in person. Thursday night she was saying she really didn’t feel well, Friday she had a fever and was miserable, Saturday she tested positive. I don’t think she tested before Saturday ETA pcrs we’re negative woot

 

[PrettyInInk42]

Dobby - Ya, we do The Tooth Fairy. When SO and I were kids, we generally got $1 per tooth. Now, I'm hearing kids getting $5 or more per tooth. As well as getting extra for the first and last tooth to be lost. (Don't get me started on what Farrah from Teen Mom does for her daughter's lost teeth. Google it.) But I'm just keeping it simple with $2 for the smaller teeth and then I'll up it to $5 for molars. Cuz they're bigger teeth and he'll be older and need more spending money.
That sucks about the renewal dilemma. My only advice for situations like that it's not personal, it's business. And don't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.
And sorry to hear that your mom have Covid. Her symptom progression sounds like mine. Felt like crap one day, worse the next, positive on the 3rd day. what are the quarantine regulations in your area right now?
And good luck on your first day back at school. The boys don't start here til Sept 5th.

shae - Ya, night shift definitely has it's pros and cons. I used to do night shifts on weekends when I was a teen at McD's. Totally not the same thing as working in a hospital, but it seriously messes up your social life, none the less. Good thing it's temporary.
Have you talked with the recruiter at the other hospital yet?

AFM, not too much to report. Kids are all good and enjoying summer. We're heading back to my mom's home town (6 hours away) in a couple weeks for a family get together/my aunt's 75th BDay. Gonna see some cousins and people I probably haven't seen since I was a teenager. Exciting.

 

[shaescott]

Dobs sorry your mom has COVID my sister has COVID too, it’s her first time and she’s got it pretty rough for an 18 year old. Her heart rate keeps going crazy high.

Pretty I am in communication with the recruiter, I just sent over references so hopefully I can get an interview with the manager. I won’t be doing L&D because if you don’t have experience you have to start on nights, and it’s not worth it to me.

 

[Jezika]

Hi ladies! Just popping in because I got an unexpected BFP and it's too early to tell many people and I found myself returning to my old POAS days and so where else can I come where people will get me other than here?! I was sooo tempted to catch up on the above but I'm on a deadline to finish something dissertation-related so I better focus on that and come back later. Here's a wondfo at 11DPO with afternoon pee though in case anyone's interested.

Shae I did see in your sig that you recently got married - congraaats!

 

[shaescott]

Jez omg omg!!!! I can’t believe Tilly is going to be 7 this year, that’s just insane to me! I literally still have the link to that video of Tilly with the cat and you telling her no, I found it recently actually and re-watched it. Super cute. Congrats on the BFP! Maybe we will be bump buddies, I hopefully will be able to start TTC (or at least NTNP) next cycle, so hopefully conception in the last week of September if my cycle stays regular. We’ll see, DH might get cold feet and start stressing about money again lol.

 

[PrettyInInk42]

Hey, Jezika. Congrats!