General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[DobbyForever]

Re the job I honestly forgot he has depression/mental health stuff. That coupled with an intense job like that... not a good combination. Maybe once you're all settled in with your new living situation he'll feel better about quitting and making moves to his dream job. J/c what's the roommate gonna do?

I'll test again the morning with fmu. There's no way I'll do better than that hold. I know it was at least 1.5-2h because it took that long to drive home plus pick up our curbside orders from two stores. It's way too hot to not drink a lot of water especially since I barely had anything to drink at the zoo all day. The kind of crappy thing is I forgot my pill again last night, and I was going to take it except I got that weird line. So now I'm sitting here like hm do I double dose myself or do I skip it in the off chance these are early lines. I know I've been super irresponsible this pack, but it still just doesn't seem plausible. And I'm really mad at myself. This is the second if not third pack this year that I've been s* with.

Thanks for the pep talk. It's just hard when my family acts like A's ASD is my fault. I love OA and in a world where he loved me back I'd have his child if he asked. But that's not the world we live in, I already had one pregnancy where nobody was happy for me outside of BNB. I just think the second worst thing to coparenting with a narcissist is coparenting with someone you're in love with who doesn't love you back.

He and his daughter's mom coparent beautifully. I think he's a great dad. He says it's out of obligation, but he still lights up every time he talks about his daughter. Her behaviors though do concern me. I also think he does a great job with his daughter, but I doubt he can handle two kids by himself so I'd have seriously reservations about 50/50. Plus he does still travel pretty often for work. Idk I'm way ahead of myself.

 

[DobbyForever]

Re temu love that people are getting what they're ordering. It's always so hit or miss. Like I don't love my patio furniture. It feels very not sturdy and cheap but I'm also not going to shell out 1000-1500 for it. But then you get these cheap things that are surprisingly awesome. I don't think I have the stones to try Temu just yet still.

 

[DobbyForever]

Wondfo and cbe both negative and opk dropped from 0.4 to 0.1 so I’m gonna go with not pregnant. Still woke up nauseated so I’ll likely test again tomorrow though

 

[DobbyForever]

Thinking of everyone

 

[shaescott]

Dobs did AF arrive yet? Have you tested since?

 

[DobbyForever]

I tested for one more day and totally negative. The nausea in the mornings went away not too long after. It’s possible it was a cp but with sketchy lines I’d rather just think I wasn’t. Because I never got another convincing line I kept taking my pills. I’m in my last week.

a’s adhd Med appointment is today. Sigh

 

[gigglebox]

Dang y'all there's a lot to catch up on!!

First of all, SHAE, you made a beautiful bride and congrats again! I'm sorry your honeymoon did not result is a honeymoon baby, despite your best odds yet. I'm glad you guys have a plan in place that will make everyone happy! Well, assuming hubby doesn't get cold feet. How old is he? My hubs was very, very apprehensive about a first. He agreed to try because I explained that it will likely take a few cycles, plus the 9 months of being pregnant, blah blah blah....then bam pregnant immediately! I think it was a tough time for him. One, he saw this familiar wife mutate into a swollen beast. Two, we were going through the mental struggles of having all our scary baby scans, and he had to help his anxious wife cope (because the idea of baby was a reality for me, and that baby having issues was terrifying, but babies don't become "real" for first time dads until they're here in the physical world, I don't think). Honestly he was the worst with our first baby (so was I) until about 6 months in or so. It was a struggle because I don't think he was there mentally quite yet. He was 1000000000000000% better with the second and somehow even better with the third. But I would say definitely make sure he's on board with the baby idea so you don't feel guilty later. But also, I will say, I'm glad we started "earlier" in retrospect. We had him when I was 25 I think...maybe I was 26. That gave us room for more kids too before I felt "too old". It wasn't my age necessarily when I got pregnant, it's my age down the road. Things are so much easier still being "young" and enjoying older kids.

I do still kind of wish we started trying for a second kiddo earlier, but that's a rant for another day...

JEZ! GIRL! OMG! Hey! I couldn't believe you were pregnant when I read your post, I thought for sure you were in the "one and done" category! HUUUUUGGGEE congrats on #2! Sounds like it wasn't entirely unexpected but still a shock nonetheless. Sorry, TILLY, but you're still "Tilly" here Maybe she'll get over that. Heck my nephew recently went through a stage where he wanted to be henceforth called "Ghostbusters" (although he's 4, to be fair). That lasted for a good month or two Kids are crazy. Wish I had a cute idea for revealing to Tilly but I honestly don't even remember how I told my own kids...

Dobs glad nothing's coming of that faint line, but I definitely did see it on that first post. Seems unlikely though that this far out from DTD it'd be anything...but we all know these things happen! I guess it's possible you conceived but it didn't stick, maybe that's why you're so symptomatic? Oh sheesh, what's happening with the school now??

Hi Pink and Fluek! Hope you ladies are doing well. I want to say specific messages to you both but I read your posts several days ago and can't remember...sorry to be rude!

Nothing to crazy happening here! We're gearing up for our first family vacation, so that's pretty exciting! Can you believe we've never gone on one?? We're heading to the beach. The kids are excited, but I Think I'm more excited, haha. They've never been so they don't really know what they're looking forward to yet. I just like to go out of town so I'm pretty jazzed to do that. I'm not crazy about the beach (water freaks me out--yes I can swim but they can't very well), but I feel like every kid needs to see the beach! Also we're going out of state so that's thrilling for DS1 who has only done so once when he was too young to remember.

In baby world news, I feel very confident being "done" for sure. I do have a few days every month where I start hard core reconsidering, but I've noticed that those feelings always happen in my LP leading up to AF. Hormones are weird. Anyway all that said hubby definitely slipped up last night *face palm* so we'll see if anything comes of it--I am doubtful as I'm a few days out from Ov I think, and the last 3 pregnancies (the two kids and the m/c) all took several tries with good timing to happen so I doubt it. Doubtful as I am, still slightly nervous and also hoping nothing comes of it! I'm finally at peace with 3 boys.

In family news, my MIL was declared in remission from her breast cancer. She still is seen every few months but that will be spread out more so long as she continues to not show any signs of it coming back...unfortunately, my FIL, her husband, was just diagnosed with blood cancer. He only just found out so we don't have details yet, however the type is has (though evidently extremely rare) has a good prognosis if caught early. I'll spare the details but good juju and prayers for him are appreciated! It just sucks that the punches keep rolling in. Not sure if I mentioned it but my aunt was also diagnosed with breast cancer a few months back (I don't know the type but evidently it's prominent in women who never had kids, which she did not).

And in weight loss news, I started over a few weeks back after covid set me back entirely. I decided rather than weigh myself continuously, I'd just not do it until I got 30 workouts in because I didn't want to be discouraged by the scale. I was calorie counting and working out 5-6 days a week. I hit 31 workouts and finally weighed myself....and I lost less than 2 lbs. I was crushed!! I was working my ass off and didn't get out of the 170's, which was my hope...literally 169.9 would have made me happy . No dice. I kind of spiraled from there but I'm continuing my workouts because I FEEL better, even though I don't "see" results. Finally stepped on the scale again today and am now 169.8, and turns out I've lost an inch off my waist so that's good. But I just feel a different draw now, I'm hoping eventually my body will look better but my health is my priority right now. I keep seeing family around me getting sick (ok they're much older, but still), and I don't want to set myself up for future failure, so I'm trying to get in shape now and stick with it basically forever.

ok that was a ton of ranting!! Virtual gold star for anyone who made it through!

 

[gigglebox]

oh Temu!! I forgot to comment on that. I've bought from them a couple of times. I actually bought a handful of sterling jewelry and tested it for a youtube video, and it was surprisingly all real...however a few people commented that they also bought sterling jewelry and it was fake, so who knows? I bought a couple of dresses, too -- two were cheap polyester crap, pretty prints but the material feels like think plastic and they're kind of hot and uncomfortable to wear. But a third dress was a cotton blend and that one was much nicer. I also bought a shower curtain that seemed ok quality, but I didn't like the design when I saw it in person. I wanted to return it; they just charged me a return fee but told me to keep it. The last thing I got was peel & stick wallpaper. It looks super cute but I haven't used it yet, so not sure about the stickiness....has good reviews though, but so does everything on their site. I'm not sure I trust the reviews...but yeah in a nut shell it seems hit and miss, but also full of imported cheap junk so I'd prefer to use my money elsewhere...

 

[DobbyForever]

Oh Gigs I so agree on the age and baby making. Obviously nature has its own design, but there’s definitely a sweetness to being old enough to have your ducks in a row but young enough that you can really enjoy your kids/life. My cousin was just saying she won’t be an empty nester until she’s mid 50s. Whereas I’ll be mid 40s. I tell people all the time I’ll be wilding out

Humor me, I read Shae’s DH as almost the opposite. The baby is so real to him/he sees his life now as foundations for his baby. And since it isn’t the exact foundation he wants to build his baby house on that’s the hesitation. But I’m thinking back to how supportive and excited he’s been with every potential line even though he’s scared. He’s stuck in the future and needing to create that future now vs I read Shae as the dreamer. He sees whole picture but she sees the steps. So she sees them moving on that pathway (finished school, got jobs, moved in together, got married, moving to Papa’s) as all foundation building and a good place to start TTC. But DH needs everything settled completely before being on board. Obviously I could be wrong because I’m just a random internet stranger lmfao.

ghostbusters

That’s awesome news that she’s in remission! I can’t imagine getting that news right after. I’m glad the doctors caught it. Hopefully it’s early and treatment goes well for him. Sending good juju.

Oh vacation at the beach! Definitely sounds lovely but I feel you. Always a bit stressful that first dip in when you’ve got young kids.

I hate that! I’m having the same issue. I don’t seem to be losing weight but I feel better and my eyes are telling me that I look better. People keep telling me I’m losing weight but the scale says differently. But I’m glad focusing on health over lbs keeps you motivated because I agree that’s what matters. No point having those older kids while you’re young if you don’t have a young body to match the young mind

ooooo interesting how much of a slip up are we talking? Full payload slip? A few days out from so definitely is still in it though. Keep us posted!

Yeah idk. Line could make sense if I messed up my pills enough to end up ovulating a few days after bd-ing. But im on the combo so it’s also meant to stop implantation not just ovulation. Like logically, it does make sense for it to be a cp. The line was only 12 days after bd not necessarily 12dpo and the symptoms make sense. But idk. I’ve lost faith in hpts lol.

they threatened to pull all of his services if I didn’t basically drop the transportation issue. And they just keep saying things take time. So I’m going nuclear. NAACP is involved. I’m telling the newspaper. I’m filing complaints with the district. Copying the board on everything.

yeah I just can’t bring myself to buy the stuff I want. Especially when it’s a want not need situation.

 

[gigglebox]

Good for your Dobs. I mean wt actual f, why are they always picking on poor A??? I'm definitely pro mama bear mode. They messed with the wrong bear!
Totes, doesn't it feel like HPT's have gown downhill? I wonder why that is when they were making such strides towards earlier detection? Maybe too many people complained about "false" positives when in reality they are just seeing cp's and don't know as much as all of us forum ladies do.
Yup I'll be pushing late 40's when the kids are "of age", assuming no oopsies...I like the idea of that.
That's great about your weight loss (or whatever), too! I think FEELING better really should be the goal ultimately anyway.

OK spoiler for the deets on BD time...
well crap I can't remember how to use the spoiler so here it goes anyway LOL -- basically we got down and dirty; we were in missionary position and I had my hand on the goods. He pulls out (but wasn't finished), I was still, you know, assisting myself as I typically do, and it occurs to me that things are abnormally moist down there. I mentioned it, and said, "was that me or you?" and he says, "A little bit of both...." then goes on to explain that he had kind of a halfsie finish, where he tried to hold back but didn't; didn't "feel" like a full on payload but was enough to go a bit and then his man bits returned to their resting state. He said he had gone one stride too far and past the point of no return........but none of this really explains if he actually just leaked a little on the outside or didn't make it out in time. I am afraid to ask because I don't want to stress him out about it if it's nothing. We'll just wait and see I guess!

But so much for me "ov is far out anyway..." because it's definitely here now. I'm either ov'ing today or tomorrow at the latest by the feel of things, which puts me at 0-2 or 0-3, respectively.

Not a whole lot to do except wait and see. I doubt (hope?) anything comes of it anyway. But yeah I'm thinking we need to be a little more proactive during my fertile days. It must be on my mind because I had a dream I bought condoms last night

About the beach, turns out we have rain in the forecast the entire time...hopefully it holds off enough for us to play on the beach a little. I'd also like to see the local disc golf course or maybe the nature preserve.

 

[gigglebox]

Ok, definitely call it for o-2. Ouch...my ovary!

debating on if I should ask hubby for details...on one had if he didn't get the goods in the jar, that would ease my mind. On the other hand if he did or doesn't know, it will worry him also......

This wasn't even a thing until ov decided to show up all suddenly and aggressively!

 

[DobbyForever]

Omg I love this. I live for TWW drama haha. Any chance you got some opks laying around? Based on the recount, sounds like you got the goods lol. Especially since you felt especially wet and he admitted to trying to hold back but not being entirely successful

hoping it doesn’t rain!

sorry I’m tired lol

 

[DobbyForever]

And yeah I mean definitely could be that hpts are so sensitive now they’re picking up more cps than they used to.

 

[gigglebox]

Lol no worries, I appreciate the response. I was here for a casual update and to see what everyone was up to, but with this recent development I'm lurking hard core, like WHERERRR IS EVERYONNNNNEEEE

I don't need OPK's. That eggo is on it's way out. Ouchies. the only question is if it happens soon or if it happens over night. But 100% certain it's "it". The thing hurts, then I get AF 13 days later. Some months aren't as strong as others, but some.....hurt. It's like a crescendo of pain that builds up until it gets its most painful for an hour or two then quickly tapers off. Also cm is super duper fertile so no doubts over here.

Yeah you might be right about the encounter. Still thinking odds ain't in my favor since it was maybe a halfsie load, plus he wasn't all the way "in"....but damn if the timing didn't turn out! Good grief! I wasn't even getting any tinges of pain that night. Figured, eh, we're probably in the clear. Usually I have at least 3-4 days lead up to ov. This was legit a two day event. So crazy.

 

[DobbyForever]

It has been oddly quiet.

Only takes one sorry about the super charged O pain though.

Speaking of irresponsible (not you gigs me and my pills) again lol I forgot my Thurs and Fri pill so now I’m spotting. So I think I’ll just skip tonight’s and let af run full force. Watch me go into the next IEP “you all stress me out so much I forgot my birth control pill like six times this month”

 

[gigglebox]

something tells me that wouldn't go over so well hahahahahha
I was going to actually ask if that might be the best course of action, to just quit for the month and start fresh....but it's been so long since I've been on BC that I just don't know. Be careful on those things though, they're linking them with cancer evidently. Have you considered the IUD?

Hey shut it up there about "only takes one"!! Though you do have me thinking about what happened and I'd place my money on a sloppy pull out/didn't make it out in time, but then that would also mean a shallow deposit iykwim. Shallow deposit is better than full on I suppose....actually I think he's done that before and it hadn't resulted in anything. He didn't tell me though until way after the fact. Like a couple cycles later. Obviously nothing came of it then.....so fx

 

[DobbyForever]

Lol fair fair. Well it’s definitely a need to test when it’s time situation. I know what you mean about coming to terms with being done and that curveball. No matter what turns out, I know you’ll be great.

I had an iud (paragard). It was awful. My ob says I have like a shallow canal so even before I had it deeper penetration positions hurt like hell. Once it was in, I could feel it and so could A’s dad. I was so miserable I had it pulled out a cycle and a half later. They said it was best to wait until my period but I couldn’t stand it so I took it out. Even with pain pills, I like went into mild shock it was so painful. It ended up delaying my ovulation. I can’t remember how long it took to regulate after that. Plus honestly the bcp helps my pcos a lot unless I can get down to 125 and maintain it I need the pills to manage my symptoms

 

[DobbyForever]

I also hated how the shot affected my body and how long that lasted once I stopped taking it. Honestly I’m usually so good about my pills. It’s just when s* hits the fan with A’s school and we’re literally on the verge of a lawsuit that I start f*ing up. I have that diminished cognitive capacity where I’ll get distracted or not have the physical strength to get up or I’ll literally not know what day of the week it is. And I get sloppy because I don’t have sex often. I’m only sleeping with OA, and it’s like once every 6-8w. Like there was definitely a voice in my head that was like I’m already in bed, the combo pill can be taken a little late, and the BD was “cd” 8 and so far out of what has been my fertile zone off pill going on

but yeah today was my last pill in this pack. I think if you’re active sexually they say in the pack to skip the active pill week but since I haven’t had sex in weeks no need. I like getting my period lol

 

[gigglebox]

I would not wish the bc shot on my worst enemy. I also had a horrible time with it, and the after effects. Hmm ok well if it works, it works! Glad you have something that kind of hits two birds with one stone.

Officially o day…I’m just gonna put things in the back mind unless i start getting symptom-y or something. But I’m still very doubtful.

do any of you ever use condoms anymore? Is there something to the textured ones? Like do they actually have a pleasant sensation?

 

[DobbyForever]

Oooo well I hope things turn out the way you hope. Are you gonna tell hubs? Or nah cuz stress.

Right?! I had so many friends swear by the shot but on forums it’s such a different story. Idk. I love that you said anymore like that implies I ever use condoms. I only use condoms when the guy puts a condom on. Which is like 1% of the time. I don’t really get physical pleasure from
DTD. It’s all just about connection for me. So I love when they finish and I get to feel it and then to keep a piece of them with me. That smell of s* and knowing their daddy juice is just living inside of me for a few days while we both go on about our days and people have no idea he’s alive inside me. If my partner doesn’t finish, the whole thing is pointless and disappointing to me. And sure I’ll never say no to accepting whatever finish but that’s always my fav. And OA knows that so I can tell that even if he has the option to have any grand finale he chooses, he does that for me. There’s also a tryst aspect to it. But honestly I googled it and apparently it’s a legitimate thing people have. It’s called a (I hope I’m not breaking rules saying this) breeding kink.