General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[Flueky88]

Gigs yay for upcoming beach vacation! I hope you all have a lovely time amd it isn't really rainy. Awesome that your MIL is in remission. I hope it stays that way. As for FIL, I'm so sorry to hear about his diagnosis. Prayers.

Sorry the results weren't as much as you were hoping but an inch of the waist is nice and I bet you had some other areas that were smaller too. Keep up the good work getting healthier.

Oh and FX for BFN. I will be 50 once E turns 18. Absolutely no shame or nothing wrong with anyone wanting kids when they are older but honestly, I don't know how people have the energy to have babies in 40s. Trying to keep toddlers out of things and keeping up with their energy, is hard enough. I guess you just do what you have to though.

As for condoms, I really don't recall any type really being a big difference to me. We haven't used any since after having V though, so it's been like 4 years.

Dobby oh no! I hope with some media attention they will be pressured to do what's right even though it shouldn't have to come to this.

 

[gigglebox]

Thanks fluek! Are you feeling “done” too? I mean I guess you have to…but a part of me wonders if we’ll always entertain the idea of another so long as the baby factory is in working order. I mean let’s face it, with hormones we don’t really have a choice in our feelings sometimes haha

 

[DobbyForever]

A starts his adhd meds tomorrow.

 

[gigglebox]

Forgot to add I probably won’t tell hubby unless he jokingly mentions having another, like he occasionally does when he’s in a good mood haha. We got to the beach today. The kids love it so far! Everyone is zonked out except me of course. I struggle to sleep in strange places.

awww Dobs I’m so sorry. If him taking meds makes you that uncomfortable, is there anything else you can do? Also have you ever considered private school?

 

[PrettyInInk42]

Hey ladies. I'm writing this from the cramped 3rd row of SO's Toyota Highlander. Got about 2 hours until we're back from visiting my mom's hometown. So, please forgive me if I miss anything...

Dobby - That sucks that you're still fighting for A's school. Hopefully the squeaky wheel will get the oil in this situation. Give 'em hell!
I kinda get what you mean about liking it when a guy finishes in you. Not a huge fan of the subsequent wet spot and the extra leaking out for the next little while after though. lol

Gigs - Glad to hear the kids are loving the beach.
I'm always pro don't-say-anything-until-you-know for-sure, but you know your DH best.

shae - Sorry DH is still trying to push ttc back. Don't really know what advice to give, just keeping my FX you'll conceive soon.

Hope everyone else is doing well, especially Winter.

Re: Temu. Waiting on my 3rd order from them now. So far, my only complaint is I ordered some hair bows for Zoey that were supposed to be clip-ins, but they came as elastics instead.

AFM, a had a little bit of a 2ww situation myself this month. SO and I DTD with a condom and, when I dismounted, it come with me. Some baby batter definitely got in and around the outside. After I fished it out, he proceeded to finger me. A had a some opks kicking around, so I took a couple over the next couple day and I'm pretty sure I O'd like the day after we DTD. I took a couple ICs and FRERs, but they were all negative and AF arrived on time. Honestly, I was hoping I was pg though. So, that's where I am; mother of 3, praying for a whoopsie. lol
That being said, I couldn't imagine going on this family trip with 4 kids. Especially if at least one of them was a toddler. lol

 

[DobbyForever]

I fundamentally do not believe in medicating children. To each their own. This sucks. But I talked to dozens of people with kids with adhd or who were diagnosed with adhd and what their experience with or without meds was like. The common thread was if they were successful in school then no meds but if not then meds or sdc or both

I’ve tried everything. He has had a 1-1 ABA behaviorist at school full time since April 2019, his behavior plan at school was designed and refined over six months by a neuropsych that focuses on individualizing bps for kids with comporbidities and trauma, he does adaptive sports, and we’ve been doing the horse stuff for 2 months. They evacuated his class on Friday because he kicked he BT really hard. He’s about to get kicked out of his after school care for eloping and swearing. He can barely finish any school tasks without his Bt basically trapping him in his chair. Part of his bp includes extra movement breaks and sensory items and trips to the sensory room. I already agreed to 2.5h in the mild/mod sdc a day.

My friend said maybe try a weighted vest but I’m really not into that idea for the amount of time he’s have to wear it.

 

[DobbyForever]

But yeah the few people I talked yo who have adhd and struggles in school said
- they hated being medicated and how it made them feel emotion and physically but they knew they needed it to function at school and work
Or
- they wished their parents had medicated them sooner because all the negative feedback and criticism and strained peer relationships caused so much self confidence issues and they wonder how much better things would have been if they had access to meds sooner

 

[shaescott]

Dobs I’m sorry A has to do meds. I’m sure that was a very hard decision. DH needed ADHD meds growing up. If the med they start him on makes him feel like a zombie, don’t be afraid to ask to switch him to something else. Ritalin made DH feel like a zombie, he switched to adderall and that worked great for him, except it impaired his appetite, so make sure A is eating enough, he might not get hungry as much but he still needs to eat like he was before.
Also sorry about the HPT confusion. Sounds like a chemical to me, but only God knows for sure.

Pretty omg re: the oopsie. Too bad it didn’t result in a baby. Maybe you’ll have another one soon lol.

Gigs ahhhhh TWW time! Are you leaning one way or the other for what you want? I know for planning babies you’re done, but how does the idea of a surprise baby make you feel?

I would say Dobs is closer re: my DH. He’s 25, so he is definitely young, but every day he seems more and more ready and more and more excited to have kids. He has stated on many occasions that he does actively want to have kids and if we were perfectly financially set, he’d start with me ASAP. He literally will put his hand on my stomach and talk about me having a baby in there soon and how excited he is for it. Of course, he’s terrified, but it’s because 1) he’s scared that he’ll be a bad father, and 2) he’s scared of ending up in a bad financial situation and not being able to provide for our kids. To be fair to him, we just found out that my Papa’s house is extremely heat inefficient, during winter he pays $2k a month for heat (it’s electric plus the house is built off a trailer home so it’s just badly designed for heat all around). The house is not in great condition, quite frankly it would be cheaper to tear it down than fix all the issues it has. I figure we will do the minimum fixes for it to be safe (it needs an in-line water filter) and then just save up as long as possible for a down payment, whether it be on a demolition and rebuilding or on a completely different property. We’ll have to see. Hopefully my Papa will live for many more years (which I can see happening with how sharp and mobile he is for his age) and we will have plenty of time to save up for a super solid down payment.

Also I know it’s super unlikely because no load but DH did pull out at the last possible moment on +OPK day, he normally pulls out several seconds in advance and he admitted he kept going far longer than was smart/his normal, so I’m hoping a tiny tiny bit got in me. I didn’t notice any though, so I won’t get my hopes up. Always a chance with pullout, however small but in reality at this point it seems more likely that it’ll take proper TTC for me to get pregnant. The low progesterone during the honeymoon was unfortunate, it normally is nice and high, but it definitely explains why I didn’t get pregnant despite full chance BD at O-2. Sigh.

 

[gigglebox]

Hi Pretty! Sorry your oops is didn’t turn out how you wanted. Is 4 completely off the table? Have you had that discussion with hubby? Sounds like your heart might not be done.

dobby so sorry you’re in this situation. Sounds like you’re at the end of your rope. You really have tried it all! I just didn’t know if there was a private school or something that specializes in sped kids (we have a couple here which is what made me think to ask). I’m not sure what to say as I agree on your view of not medicating kids, but I also don’t “really” know you or him. You have to make the best call for your own kiddo! Whatever you decide I hope it works out

Hi Shae! I’m trying to get my head in the place of entertaining the idea of a 4th but I am not thrilled about the idea haha….it’s unlikely anyway I’m sure. But I am less concerned with having the baby than how my body will handle it. Also I have other plans that a baby will derail…like I want dairy goats

Shae I’ll have to read and respond later…we’re about to head to the beach ^_^

 

[DobbyForever]

Aw Pretty sorry the oops didn’t pan out this time. It does sound like SO is getting a bit careless though so FXed. I feel like 4 sounds like a lot but you just make it work. You dunno how it just does lol

Shae thanks for sharing. I think someone else mentioning don’t go with Ritalin but I can’t remember. But I only had two options with Kaiser for stimulants. He’s on dextroamphetamine and I cried so hard the first time I read it because obviously my CSI brain went to methamphetamine. She said it’s basically a 4hr adderall. The hard thing is A’s vocab isn’t strong enough to tell me how he’s feeling. His bt said that he felt sick yesterday, but it doesn’t always mean sick and sometimes he does it for attention and sometimes he says if as echolalia.

I’m sorry about all the repairs. I hope that hasn’t put SO on more unsure footing with ttc/making the plunge to start his portfolio and change jobs. Sounds like you’ve got a plan and I’m glad your Papa is in better spirits and health than you anticipated. I’ll keep my FXed for a surprise line!

gigs oh forgot about private school. So I definitely think public school is super flawed af. Insert I have 32 students with 10 being English learners. The caseload is just way too high for me to really support all my kiddos. That being said, I also don’t believe in private school. I looked into one in Palo Alto, but it’s out of my way. I also make too much to qualify for financial aid, though if I could prove the public district isn’t meeting his needs then I could sue them to pay it. His teachers are super qualified at this new school, and they really try hard to be inclusive. But honestly regardless of what the setting is, his adhd is just too much for him to focus. Even 1-1 in him swim class or 1-1 with the horses. He can’t even walk the horse for more than a couple minutes without walking into a ditch or fence cuz he can’t just look straight lol. I will say I’m so impressed with our off tether zoo trip. I thought that was another year away.

my mental health is so bad even the secretary today was like are you ok you don’t look ok

 

[gigglebox]

Jeeze Dobs, you have a lot on your plate! Got cha about the school. Well I hope they are helpful. Solidarity of the inability to communicate…those were rough days. DS1 did eventually grow out of that, I hope A does as well. Does he have one of those tablets? I have a friend with a severely ASD kiddo and he really benefited from it (but he is non verbal). But I’m not going to keep making suggestions, I’m sure you have thought of it all.

Shae yikes about the heating bill! I’d suggest a wood stove but wood gets so darn pricey if you have to buy cords. Looks like we’re accidental tww buddies, has that ever happened? Haha. I’ll keep me fingers crossed it is the desired outcome for us both
Honestly I wouldn’t be surprised if your hubby gets a bit more careless now that you’re married. Here’s hoping!

 

[DobbyForever]

You’re sweet I don’t mind suggestions. It’s nice to know what other people do. I’m really fortunate he’s social and verbal. He’s come a long way since we started speech therapy and since he started school. He doesn’t use any communication devices anymore. We had some low tech PECs when the pandemic started so he could communicate what he wanted to eat. He’s got his basic emotions down. But yeah I don’t trust he could explain things like feeling like a zombie or wanting to self harm or feeling out of control.

So far it’s clearly working at school. He’s had one “heavy prompting” over the last day days and that was for a directed draw activity with the OT. I asked for clarify if the prompting was focus related or skill related. Idk how he is after it wears off though. I’ve noticed he’s eating a huge dinner, eloping more with me at home, and definitely having a harder time winding down before bed and needs me to lay with him until he’s crashing. He also was hitting me so much yesterday in the car I almost crashed twice. And he threw a huge fit after speech in Kaiser I honestly thought they were going to call security or cps. He was kicking me so hard and hitting me. Then I’m the car he was grabbing literally anything he could get his hands on and throwing it at me while I was driving. He’s tantrumed before (he wants to play in the elevator) but never this degree. Sigh.

And then I got all these extra after school duties and meetings I don’t have time for. I have to create or ELD curriculum, equity curriculum, get trained on reading intervention, be on the school’s council I just want to cry and sleep. I took A to my mom’s today because I couldn’t stop crying after I spent 30m looking for a kid who walked home without telling their parent.

I’m just done

 

[gigglebox]

Yikes Dobby I’m sorry to hear about his behavior. Did he just have a bad day or do you think it’s meds related? Maybe there’s an adjustment period…? Oy, you have a lot going on. I don’t know how you do your job, it’s sounds crazy stressful! That is Terrifying about the kids who walked home alone! I would be losing my crap. Glad it ended up the way it did. Did your mini break help? Thank god for moms.

we’re back from the beach. I miss vacation but diet-wise I’m glad to be home. I completely over indulged and I’m sure I reversed any progress I made. I’m paying for it too…my stomach is super unhappy with me haha. I am so tired and feel like garbage. Couldn’t symptom spot if I wanted to

 

[gigglebox]

Shae what dpo are you?

 

[gigglebox]

So I went back and poured over old test pictures of mine and notes...looks like the last time I had a suspected chemical (feb 2021 as mentioned in my signature), this near exact situation happened. I don't think this resulting in a pregnancy is likely but that certainly is interesting that it "may" have last time. Who knows.

I'm guessing because I'm in my head obsessing, it probably won't be. But I won't lie, there's a small part of me that's enjoying this, haha ; don't tell hubs lol

 

[DobbyForever]

I also forgot I got an email to do my second year of a math intervention blah but it does at least mean 4-5k extra that I desperately need. Honestly the only stress with work is when I need to stay late and A’s after school care is iffy.

I will say stress apparently has been good for my weight loss. People have been asking how I’m eating so I finally weighed myself and I’m down 5.5lbs since 8/6. So far the whole protein shake at snack and overnight oats for lunch has been working out. I do usually forget my 2pm snack because I’m busy and not hungry but I usually have something at 4 and 6.

and totally get that the logic part is hoping for a bfns but the heart/excitement of it all has other thoughts haha. I do think it’s possible but only time will tell and definitely looking forward to test updates

 

[shaescott]

Dobs that’s so scary re: the tantrum while driving. I’m so glad you’re both okay. I’d definitely bring that up with the doctor who is prescribing his new meds, especially if it happens again and it’s not his normal.

I didn’t realize you actually ended up doing the overnight oats, I’m glad that’s working out for you!

Gigs I’m 8dpo. Only symptoms so far would be skin breakouts, spotting the ENTIRE LUTEAL PHASE, and I feel like I’m a little hungrier than usual. I’m always planning my next meal the past 2 days.

 

[gigglebox]

Ok Dobs give me the skinny on overnight oats (haha)

I feel like I need to detox after this vacation. So full of meh! My gut's been a mess. Otherwise nothing to report. 6dpo here. Not feeling pregnant at all. I do however keep replaying our night of passion (hahhahahah -- ok it was a quickie) in my head. I remember after hubby pulled out and I made the comment of "is that me or you?" regarding the moisture level...and he said "a little bit of both"....and then he stood there thinking for a second. He was pondering going back...then he says, "I guess I shouldn't. We probably don't want an accidental pregnancy...."

This is kind of a weird thing to say. It may have just been an excuse to stop because he had his halfsie finish and was fading anyway...or he knows he got sloppy. Or it was an innocent comment and I'm reading too much into it because I'm obsessive. But in the past he would ask me if he could go again, and I would say something like, "probably not a good idea..." -- the difference is he didn't ask. He always asks....Regardless, I wish I had paid more attention when I was cleaning up afterward. I mean things were DEFINITELY coated externally, but I have no idea of the status of inside if you get my drift.

OK anyway.

Shae when are you testing? I'm breaking out behind my ears. What even is that?! I have been getting zits in the strangest places since starting to work out. It's very annoying.
Are you craving anything in particular?

 

[shaescott]

Gigs hard to tell whether his comment should be read into or not. You could always ask him? Pimples anywhere near the ears suck. Especially when they’re INSIDE THEM.

I keep wanting to get Indian food but I do like Indian food baseline so idk if I could call it a craving. My eyes have been much bigger than my stomach, just now my brain was like “yeah you can order two different entrees at this cafe, that’ll work out” lmao no, I’m still full as fast as usual. I suppose my stomach size didn’t change lol. But I’m gonna hang out at the cafe reading so my food will likely get eaten some more. For some reason I haven’t been quite as obsessive about planning my testing this time. I figure I almost certainly would be negative today. I do have some cheapies though… uh oh, now you’ve got me thinking Tomorrow I’m going to a Labor Day weekend cookout at a friend’s house, we were originally going camping on a river and had to cancel because too many people had conflicts so we decided a cookout was a nice fun alternative. I kinda don’t want to test and not be able to drink if it’s positive, but of course alcohol can harm implantation so I should probably test just in case. If it’s negative I’ll drink anyway and if it comes up positive after that, whelp, it’ll probably be fine.

I doubt I’m pregnant but I’ve never been properly pregnant, just possible chemicals with one day super faint lines, so I don’t know what being pregnant feels like, or if I’ll even feel pregnant right away at all. I might test my progesterone level this afternoon to see if it’s even high enough to support a pregnancy considering what happened with my levels on the honeymoon. If it’s below 10, I won’t bother with HPTs, because I wouldn’t have enough progesterone in my body to allow for successful implantation. I can say that luteal phase spotting happens for me regardless of progesterone level.

The above chart is from one of my faint line on FRER cycles. My progesterone was above 10 the entire luteal phase, and you can see I marked spotting almost every day of the luteal phase.

I ended up buying the Oura ring that was being advertised by Natural Cycles, my FAM app, it’s kinda like the Ava bracelet but actually does temperature. The TempDrop armband didn’t work out for me because it was too uncomfortable, it squeezed my arm a bit in order to make good skin contact and it just bugged me. So I’m using a literal ring, they send you a sizing kit and everything. So I actually have a temp chart this cycle! I haven’t been perfect about wearing it every single night but I wear it most nights. Funny enough, I noticed my baseline HR overnight increased when I ovulated, not just my temp! It was in the 50s before, and now it’s in the 60s post-O.

This is my current chart.

 

[gigglebox]

wow, the technology sure has come a long way! I'm sorry to say I still, after all these years, know very little about charting.
Anyway keep us posted with any testing/hormone level reading you do! I'm uber curious.
Also I have had some "tells" when pregnant but the biggest one has been feeling hungry but nothing sounds good enough to eat so I don't. Otherwise my symptoms weren't too obvious/different than usual so I don't put much stock in them, and you shouldn't either but they're still fun to look for haha