General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[gigglebox]

Awww Shae I’m sorry to hear that do you think you can get hubby on board to properly try next month if this one doesn’t work out? You may want to remind him it’s possible it might take a few tries. I’m going to remind YOU of that, too!! Remember just because things may not have happened this time, it doesn’t mean anything about your fertility.

But I know (many of us know) how disheartening a bfn can be when you really, really want the bfp

 

[shaescott]

Gigs he definitely will not be on board to TTC, we discussed it. He feels it’s irresponsible due to our money situation, and he’s not wrong. An oopsie is one thing, but he’s not open to trying.
My mom seems to still think I’m pregnant, she had a dream about a baby girl last night.

 

[DobbyForever]

While I do think it is wildly unfair to you at this point, I get it. It is a big difference between an oops versus planned in terms of the financial plan aspect. But I also feel like that’s been the primary obstacle. I see you doing a lot of good things to move towards more financial security but like either there needs to be a clear, tangible, and immediate plan to address the remaining financial issues or there needs to be a change to what the financial goal looks like. Unless you’re truly ok just hoping for an oops. I see both sides because my cousins didn’t care about finances to family plan and I did. Both both work. Do I think my life is way better than theirs? Yes. Is it way easier? Yes. But end of day all of the kids are happy and healthy

 

[shaescott]

I mean, I’m not okay with hoping for an oops, but I also know we’re poor AF and need a better plan before we try. So it’s fine. I’m still holding on to hope for this cycle. Lots of people don’t get a BFP until 11-12dpo, sometimes 13dpo+ even, depending on implantation timing. Most successful pregnancies implant 8-10dpo, and it can take 2-5 days for hcg to rise enough to be detected in the urine. So I’m not giving up hope yet.

 

[DobbyForever]

Yeah I mean I hope this is your cycle and I do think you're in with a good chance. I really don't think I have any connection with the universe but I got strong this is gonna be a bfp cycle vibes when you first mentioned it. I do worry though let's say it is, if you're already not financially where you want to be and then you have a kid... how might that impact the number of children you do have. Only because my friend was saying the other day (can't remember how we got on the topic) that she resents her husband because when they were dating, he said he wanted 3-4 kids just like her. Then they got married and he wanted to delay TTC to get finances in order. She begrudgingly agreed. Then they had their son, I think she may have basically told him she was getting too old and if they didn't start TTC she was going to divorce him. So they had a son and things ended up being more expensive than they expected and harder (he has a cognitive defect that impacts a few things like he's blind and his immune system isn't the greatest). She still wanted more kids, maybe not the 3-4 but at least one more. He refused. She eventually relented, he got a vasectomy, and now she just feels trapped because she cannot get over it. I doubt that's what will happen here.

 

[shaescott]

Dobs that’s a really terrible situation, I’m sorry your friend is going through that. Honestly, I’m not worried about that for us. We’re in this together, for better and for worse, for richer and for poorer. We’ll figure it out, no matter what happens. Maybe I’m an idealist lol, but I’ve been with this man for 10 years. I’ve got complete confidence in us.

Also I love to hear the BFP cycle vibes, fingers crossed!

 

[shaescott]

Just realized this thread is 9 years old. Wow. Wild that we’ve kept it alive this long.

 

[shaescott]

First, NOT MY TESTS!

Someone dipped an old FRER and a new FRER in the same urine… there goes the gold standard test I guess

the new FRER gives way lighter lines, definitely lending credence to them being way less sensitive

someone else with a blood hcg of 45 or so had a new FRER so faint it looked negative. So now I’m wishing I’d bought the 10 miu wondfos, but now by the time they got here I’d probably be getting or missing my period.

 

[DobbyForever]

Yeah I mean she was madly in love with him and they’ve been together like 15 years. She loves him. He’s a good husband and a good dad. But she can’t shake that she never got her second baby. She’ll never divorce him because they have their son, and honestly there’s no emotional or physical abuse of any kind. She just has a part of her that truly hates him and can’t ever forgive him.

You two are young though. But I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, if you want one soon and you want more than one gotta figure it out. I feel like your job pays well. You’re done with school. Any movement with SO’s portfolio/finding a job he enjoys?

 

[DobbyForever]

Of yikes re the tests. Amazon won’t next day them?

 

[gigglebox]

Oh that’s terrible Dobs!! Can’t believe he would do that. I mean I completely understand but ouch. I’m guessing adoption isn’t on the table either due to expense? I can’t imagine my level of depression if I was refused children by someone I love and trusted. Hubby was telling me peoples’#1 regret on their death bed is not having more kids (although he did say it was common no matter how many you had, but slightly less common if you have 3-4). I already know that’s one of mine I kind of wish we had one more between ds1 and ds2, but then who knows how that would have altered our lives. I’m very happy with my boys and where I am in life so I don’t really truly have regrets. At least not now

Shae grrr wow those tests are horrible! Now I’m going to hope your earlier ones meant nothing! Fx today. Also I love your love of your hubby what’s the new game plan? I clearly missed something. I know you moved but are you living with a family member? I can’t remember how that shook out

 

[gigglebox]

I just realized I don’t see anyone’s signatures anymore. Did they get rid of that?

 

[DobbyForever]

No clue on the sigs. I think they disappeared with the website update? I’m sure there’s a way to fix it but I’m too lazy to figure it out.

For me, the sad part is they’re one of my “marriage goals” couples. I’ve known her for about three years, she was a counselor at my last school. They have date nights. They share work loads as much as possible. They communicate well. So when she started getting comfortable enough to tell me sometimes she just looks at him and wishes she could or had divorced him… talk about losing faith/hope! She’s overall happy. She loves her job, had a great family, great friend network. Great attitude. But yeah that one aspect of her life .

I get that situations change though. I always wanted 2-3, but my life situation is so different compared to what I envisioned as a kid. If I married a billionaire who had a chef and cleaners and I could sahm and go to Pilates I’d pop out two more. I’m just tired. And tapped financially. But tired. I’m out here calculating how my retirement I get every year from 55-62. There’s no point to waiting for me past 62 because the formula they use caps the ratio at 62 so it’s just about salary. If I stay with this district, my final salary is a non issue. But yeah if I retired at 56 (when my condo is paid off) I could probably live a simple life. But y’all know I’m g-l-a-m-o-r-ous! If I wait until 62 my monthly is double. I love teaching but I’m tired lol. I think I’d be less tired when A is older but this kid is started to understand soccer and he’s watching Olympic divers on YouTube and was peeking over my shoulder for the Niners!!!! Go babies go! Even if he said he wanted the “blue lions” to win smfh so long story short aint no rest for sports moms

 

[shaescott]

Gigs we live with my grandfather.

Bad news. Huge temp drop this morning, and pink spotting. BFN as well. 11dpo. I think I’m out. Already did the crying, now I’m trying to move on and DH is gonna bring me out on a date day today.

 

[shaescott]

Whelp, I tried to test my hormones with my last Inito strip to confirm progesterone drop, thinking it would give me closure. My progesterone did not drop at all, and my estrogen is nearly 600. So now I don’t know what to think. I even used SMU so the hormone levels are more recent.

 

[DobbyForever]

In weird website world, I'm on my comp for once and aside from it's constant loading I see sigs on two of all the posts on this page lol. And it keeps loading and re-loading and moving my cursor and messing up my typing hahah.

Shae sorry the hormones didn't give you closure. Was the dip below your cover? I remember getting huge dips that were still above cover during my lp when I was pregnant. Spotting isn't full flow. I think prepare for the worst and hope for the best is always a good mindset. So I'm still in not out yet boat and hope the spotting goes away and the temp pops back up. I love that he's taking you out for date night though!

 

[shaescott]

Dobs I don’t have a true cover line because I only started temping one day before my temp rise. I added in some similar temps to that one and based on my historical temp range for pre-ovulation to get the lines, but since theyre not my real temps, idk how accurate the cover line is. I can just hope that my historical temps are similar to the ones now. That said, yes, it’s above cover line. But my spotting has increased. When I went to the bathroom at dinner I wiped and got bright red. No bright red since, but I’m not holding my breath. I’ve only had a second of nausea all day. I was feeling sick all the time before today. I’m abstaining from alcohol for the tiny chance that I could still be pregnant, but I doubt it.

 

[shaescott]

Temp stayed down today, actually went down a little more. So there goes my lifelong idea of inheriting the family fertility. But on the bright side, I totally broke down over having to go back to waiting indefinitely, and DH decided that we’re going to make a solid plan with a solid deadline. We’re looking at TTC in October.

 

[DobbyForever]

Yessssss I love that there’s a solid date! I’m sorry this wasn’t your cycle

 

[shaescott]

Thanks pretty broken up about it. Honestly, controversial statement, but I’m like 95% certain I conceived. I think implantation just didn’t work out. Especially considering the symptoms stopped before my progesterone dropped but at the same time as the bleeding started. And I need a tampon already despite only being 12dpo, it’s early. Sigh. So of course I’m all worried that my uterine lining has issues. But we’ll see once we start properly TTC.