General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[JLM73]

Interesting your temp is still up Dob.
I personally was raised by 2 parents from very large families- they each had lots of sibs, yet turned out to be really stingy as parents to an only child.
Ppl think all only children get spoiled- not me. I got ONE gift each xmas, and Bday, got cut off from Easter baskets at a young age, Santa myth burst rather early as well lol.
They pretty much shushed me whenever they were watching tv, and I spent a huge portion of my childhood playing alone in my room. Don't get me wrong, I developed great traits and life skills as an adult, but I never got to hang out with a sib, when all my friends were off visiting fam each summer, and no memories of special times with a sister, or having a big bro protect me, or helping with a younger sib. Holidays were pretty dull just the 3 of us, or when we visited fam, I was the only one my age - so either "play" with much younger cousins, or get teased by the older ones...it sucked.
And now that I am nearly 42, my mom almost 75- and we butt heads constantly, dad passed 5 years ago...once mom is gone there is no sib for me to reminisce over anything with.
Even it my kids all went off their separate ways later, at least they have lots of photos together, trips we took, meals we all made together, gifts opened to and from one another...it's just a whole nother dynamic of life you don't get as an only child.

 

[gigglebox]

J, you are making me want to say "fuck it" to WTT until late October and start now...

I'm officially out by the way...af has arrived.

 

[JLM73]

ah sorry Gig about AF
well you have a week or so to NOT try and can still change your mind back to ttc lol

 

[gigglebox]

You know...i'm seriously considering it. My only concern is having a baby in the summer...like logistically, how would that work with my son? I'll still want to take him to a playground...but what is done with an infant then?

Uuuugh i'm jusT so nervous with an infant and a toddler :/ but if i want des to have a sibling, i have to suck it up! Plenty of women do it!

 

[DobbyForever]

My coworker has a 3 year old, a 2 year old, and is expecting (due Feb). She is still teaching and smiling lol. So you can totally do it!!!

J, yeah. I know plenty of spoiled not only children. I am one. Middle child and SPOILED! But I am the only girl so that could explain why momma both harps on me and spoils me. Sorry to hear about your relationship with your mom. I adore mine. When I was engaged, the first words out of her mouth were, "Do not ask me to be your maid of honor I want to enjoy your wedding as your mom." Which is what I was going to ask hahaha.

Yeah idk. My body does stupid s*** lately. Haha finally getting my angry pms. I haven't had my usual spotting which kicks in around snack, but it could just be running late and I'll get it tonight. That has happened a couple times.

 

[JLM73]

No worries Gig, I found if the older one becomes Mommy's special helper, they don't give you much hassle.
Being in the states you should be ok, just stroll the infanr to the park, or use a carry harness and light clothing. Little ones sleep alot the first several months, and if they are used to noise - toddler, tv, vaccuums etc, they will sleep thru it just fine.
Not to mention your lil one will be 9 months older by then

 

[JLM73]

Dobs I just noticed you only had 2 BD on your chart- timed fine, but did you just not chart the rest, or was OH away? Just being nosey
I usually have 1/month near O as my donor is a couple hours one way, and I travel to his area - went all out this month tho.
Honestly if this cycle fizzles, I am going to have to think about finding a closer donor.
I have other options, but don't trust them to not get attached and start visitation battles or trying to make our friendly relationship more than that- ugh

 

[DobbyForever]

No, SO was avoiding sex. If we had sex, it was not the kind that leads to reproducing. Long story short, I finally said enough is enough and we set a day (2 days before O) to be romantic and try. He tries to cancel, I bitch, he comes home, we have a nice dinner date and cuddle, BD he is saying all the right things about making a baby with me then he PULLS OUT! Confuses that he has been avoiding sex with my all month because of work stress and that he doesn't want to try anymore since work has gone to hell and his family is being a bunch of shits. So those are the only time we have BD. If he's home, he's studying. I go to bed early. His sex drive is dead from stress.

You should look into waiting paternal rights paperwork. It's usually done after the baby is born, but I'm sure you can draft up something that can be signed before the baby is conceived. Just make sure to have a reliable witness or attorney present and have it notarized.

 

[ParisJeTadore]

I know I'm late to the conversation...and OP I'm sorry your out! But I wanted to add that, although I've heard of failure with this method, dh and I have used this for TEN years successfully and conceived easily when we were ready to have babies. Needless to say, if your partner has very good control and you want to get pregnant I would definitely consider another method

 

[gigglebox]

Dobby makes a good point. Legal issues are a bear so it's best to cover these things now. You never know when someone is going to go back on their word. I've been there. Not fun.

Paris, we've used it over 4 years and only got pregnant when we tried (took us one cycle) so i'm a believer in it we were waiting to actually try in a few months at the earliest but this recent slip up has reopened the subject and we are discussing trying sooner.

 

[JLM73]

Donor is a dear friend and donates at a clinic - also doesn't want any more kids of his own - I have no worries with him, but other options are exes and they won't sign away rights, that's why I'm avoiding them- well i take that back one will if it's a girl lol he wants a boy tho

 

[DobbyForever]

If he is a dear friend and down the line wants time with the kid, how would you feel? It's easy for people to say they don't want to be involved until the kid is born and your sharing pictures and memories. I mean honestly even if you get him to waive his rights now, it might not hold up if he fought it hard enough. Sorry, this is the daughter of an attorney talking. I was trained from age 5 to get everything in writing haha. People ask me why I freak about not having tenure when it's a sure thing I will get it. It doesn't mean s*** until I get it in writing haha

 

[laila 44]

Hi! Can I share my story! I did get pregnant after using pullout method reliably for 5 years. No idea wtf happened lol. My dh pulled out and finished on me! Well that cycle I got pregnant! I'm the type that used to roll my eyes at pre cum babies but I swear it happens! Just to show how oblivious I was to being pregnant from our usual pullout, my dh had to beg me to test after my af was an entire week late!! ( I'm always 28 days on the nose). I just couldn't believe it! Frer turned positive even before the control line appeared. We were freaking out...it was unplanned and my youngest was 8 months old... So yep. It happens alright...

 

[DobbyForever]

I'll cling to that next cycle if I don't get SO on board. Sigh. Dunno where the eff my spotting is. Giving me false hope. I hate my cycles now.

 

[JLM73]

I hear ya Dob, but I know the other 2 ladies he donated for, he has no relationship with one, and the other just sends a bday pic each yr.
He leaves it up to the recipient if they want to send anything or not.
I know him from the agency I worked with as a surro.
We could go the whole legal route, but honestly I have no issue with sending updates. We don't live close at all, and he is very happy that his kiddos are nearing being out of the house, so he can travel freely.
Also, even tho we are great friends, I know everything about him, and he has never asked anything personal about me - hell don't think he even knows my maiden name lol.
I of course am nosey and need to know as much as poss about everything I get into, and I had a full background done on him.

 

[DobbyForever]

Mkk. That's good. Also, not nosey. Just doing your due diligence. I'm so not excited to go to bed and wake up to tomorrow's temp and AF. x.x

 

[JLM73]

I hope your temp surprises you Dobby hehe
Mine is the one that needs to DO something lol. DS in my bed tonight, which means many wake ups tonight

 

[DobbyForever]

Yours looks like it's on a nice rise though. Sorry not sorry about DS. On the one hand, they are cute. On the other, I know how frustrating an inaccurate or missed temp in the TWW is.

I wish it would, but I doubt I am that lucky. I don't feel any symptoms either way (AF or pregnant) which usually means AF is coming. I just can't see me going from a <1 blood test yesterday to pregnant can happen with a decreasing temp.

 

[gigglebox]

Laila, i have no answers there lol; but wow, what a shock! I think i would have had a panic attack if i found out i was pregnant that soon. So do you have 3 kiddos or 2?

Dobby, do my eyes deceive me or did your temp increase?

J, your chart's not lookin' too shabby either! I'm rooting for you!

 

[DobbyForever]

By like .3. Bfns emailed my gyn bitching. I'm so mad at life right now lolol. Probably swing by and do a urine test there after work then find some frers