Giving birth in a hotel room

[TriChick]

The main issue people have had is the deception and the "well if they aren't ok with it I couldn't really care less" attitude. How this whole thing got twisted into an "anti-homebirth or out-of-hospital birth" debate is beyond me, especially when a large majority of the posters have clearly expressed their support of such options SO LONG AS DECEPTION IS NOT PART OF THE EQUATION. I would not enter a friend's home under the premise of a friendly visit and then sneak my midwife and doula through the backdoor when she wasn't looking. Lying is not a person's right simply because they are a pregnant woman. Having that view does not make someone anti-home/hospital birth, it makes them respectful of someone else's property and business.

The unfortunate thing is, by choosing the sneaky route it will eventually lead to hotels explicitly stating "no planned births" in their contract.

 

[BabyCleo]

No one ever said they didnt agree with an out of hospital birth, so i think lets all just drop that. I agree with the PP. (TriChick)

That does bring up a good point... if there is a complication.. (and i hope there isnt) how will you get past the hotel staff to get into the car to get to the hospital? What if there is blood everywhere (again, hope not) and you cant walk? These are the things that worry me. In a place where everyone is aware of the home birth you are free to waddle out to the car in any condition.. im worried hotel staff will stop you and freak. thats all...

 

[AP]

I think the best and most honest thing to do is discuss it with the GM. I know it sounds like a great option for you but morally you should take into account the business.

None of this sneaking around, trying to keep tidy malarkey is going to have a good impact on what you hope is a blissful birthing experience. Sounds like quite an effort really.

 

[BabyCleo]

I agree!! You never know, they may be more than happy to have you give birth in the hotel! Then, all that stress will be off you

 

[Viola Payne]

I thought about it a lot and decided that i should at least call the hotel and let them know what i was thinking.

I talked with the manager and he seemed nice enough but then (after taking my information) he stated that there is no way they (or any other hotel) could allow a woman to give birth there. He said he made a note of it so they know to watch out for a pregnant woman around when i am due.

I talked it over with DH and we've decided to do unassisted homebirth. Tbh, neither of us really wanted to travel all that way to give labour anyhow. But, after what happened last time, where the hospital could very well have killed our baby, we really can't go to a hospital again unless there's a real emergency.

Dh is going to take an infant cpr class. I've looked into it a bit and apparently there are some awesome how to vids on youtube for those wanting to assist in birth. It's actually kind of a relief since we won't need to travel to see the midwife anymore either (what's the point in having a midwife if you're not using one for birth).

Anyway, just wanted to say thanks for all the advice.

Peace,

Vi

Edit: we're 2 hours from hospital but i'm pretty sure there's a helicopter that could transfer us if need be. Women give birth unassisted all the time, especially on the little islands around here.

 

[zorak]

I thought about it a lot and decided that i should at least call the hotel and let them know what i was thinking.

I talked with the manager and he seemed nice enough but then (after taking my information) he stated that there is no way they (or any other hotel) could allow a woman to give birth there. He said he made a note of it so they know to watch out for a pregnant woman around when i am due.

I talked it over with DH and we've decided to do unassisted homebirth. Tbh, neither of us really wanted to travel all that way to give labour anyhow. But, after what happened last time, where the hospital could very well have killed our baby, we really can't go to a hospital again unless there's a real emergency.

Dh is going to take an infant cpr class. I've looked into it a bit and apparently there are some awesome how to vids on youtube for those wanting to assist in birth. It's actually kind of a relief since we won't need to travel to see the midwife anymore either (what's the point in having a midwife if you're not using one for birth).

Anyway, just wanted to say thanks for all the advice.

Peace,

Vi

Edit: we're 2 hours from hospital but i'm pretty sure there's a helicopter that could transfer us if need be. Women give birth unassisted all the time, especially on the little islands around here.

I am glad you spoke to the hotel.

Please make sure you are both fully informed about an unassited home birth. Is there no way your midwife could come to you as a happy medium? Home birth is a wonderful choice but I'd personally be scared either me or my husband would panic if things started to go a bit wrong and we didn't have a professional for support. At least with a midwife there she would come equipped with things like meds to stop potential hemoraging etc.

Good luck!

 

[Viola Payne]

No, this was addressed several pages ago. The midwives can't travel.

It is what it is, at least now we can forge ahead knowing we won't get kicked out.

 

[BunnyN]

Sorry that you have not found more options for your birth but I hope it goes well for you. I used to trust doctors but after bad experiences where doctors actually put my life in danger I'm afraid I can no longer have the same trust and when it came to the birth of our daughter I felt simmilar to you. One thought about an unassised birth. Have you had ultrasounds? One of the more dangerous things that can go wrong with an unassised birth is placenta previa but it is easy to rule out with a scan.

 

[sue_88]

I'm glad you have addressed this with the hotel, who have clearly shown they are not accepting of the practice of a birth on their premises. That could have lead to some disastrous consequences had you continued on that path.

 

[TriChick]

I'm very glad that you have found an alternative that you are happy with. Have you spoken to your midwife about the UC? I only ask because I've heard of some women going this route who continued to see a midwife and had them "on call" via Skype and webcam during the later stages of labor to guide the husband along and provide insight should any complications arise. My best friend's husband delivered their second child at home (not planned, she had a quick labor and the medics didn't make it in time) and said that having 911 on the phone to help guide him through the process was very reassuring and allowed him the confidence he needed to know he was doing the right thing. I think it's a good option to look into for anyone going the UC route!

 

[TriChick]

Wait, I missed that at first. Is there no medical facility closer than 2 hours? What do people do when they have an emergency in general? Do you know anyone in your immediate vicinity who has had an UC? I'M guessing that may be the reason that the midwives are unable/unwilling to do it there (could be wrong). Two hours is an incredibly long distance for a transport (especially during the later stages of labor), and I would be hesitant personally to count on the helo being available the moment I needed it Foregoing any further medical care that could detect possible complications AND being so far from a medical facility presents a certain amount of risk and forces one to rely on blind faith alone.

 

[Amygdala]

According to your ticker, you are only 15 weeks along. Fair enough if you decided on an unassisted birth. Not a choice I would ever make, especially after a first birth that was anything other than perfectly straight forward, but I understand that some women do. But why does that mean that you'll also forego any antenatal care? There are a lot of issues that can arise between 15 weeks and the birth, many which are harmless or can be managed very well, if they are detected. I support every woman's right to choose the birth she wants, as long as baby's safety is her first concern. But opting out of antenatal care (for convenience?) is just neglectful, I'm sorry.
Somehow this all reads a bit funny to me though. Sort of like "you didn't like my hospital birth idea, so now I'll do it unassisted AND I'll not have antenatal care either and it's your fault". I'm wondering if this is more about provoking reactions than a sensible discussion about birth choices. So I'm out of here as of how. If you are actually serious, I would urge you to rethink your care and the risks you're taking.

 

[TriChick]

What she said, x1000.

 

[BunnyN]

There are lots of remote places with no medical facility close. And even if there are several clinics, doctors offices and hospitals closer than that they might not have labour wards.

 

[TriChick]

That's why I was wondering if it was just a lack of birthing facilities close by, or medical care in general. If OP was counting on a hospital helo as her only form of realistic transport, it's a different situation than if there are emergency facilities nearby that just may lack an L&D ward.

 

[special_kala]

It's not scaremongering. If you need assistance for your baby who happens to be born not breathing or something, your MW may not be able to fix the situation. They're not doctors, they're just midwives. Of course being in the hospital sucks. But I'd rather have a healthy baby than an "experience"

MWs are very well trained and homebirths are safe

I wouldn't recommend a unassisted birth at all though, for me its too risky.

 

[MikaylasMummy]

I think this is INSANE!!as someone who had a seemingly normal pregnancy apart from a little bleeding and hypertension RIGHT at the end (something you would never know without midwife/dr checks!) I lost 2 litres of blood and would have died if not for the vigorous and intensive efforts of a huge team of midwives and doctors and meds!!i also know of a lot of women that heamerage after birth.i guess if its never happened to you you can't picture it but I just think in your situation you should suck t up and go to a hospital if a midwife won't come to you

 

[TriChick]

OP requested in another part of BnB to have her account deleted because she felt as though she was being bullied by members. I don't think we will get anymore responses or updates, ladies.

 

[girlnboots]

My heart isn't broken. Something didnt add up anyways.

 

[AP]

Thread closed as OP will no longer be around to participate