Guilty!! I Compared - What a Horrid Mummy!!

Discussion in 'Baby Club' started by Murphy98, Jun 1, 2011.

  1. Murphy98

    Murphy98 Well-Known Member

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    We went to visit my friend and her 9 month old yesterday and man - you should see that kid! She was crawling, pulling herself up, would stand up by herself, was rolling and flopping around. She is about 4 steps away from writing a pulitzer prize winning novel.

    My beautiful boy sat there for an hour chewing on a scarf-lol!

    Now, I'll tell you a secret - my son is the best darn baby ever made (sorry to tell you that other mummies but I cannot lie :haha:), still I did it, I totally compared them and a sort of nagging little cow at the back of my brain kept whispering.....your kid can't do that..or that...or that..hmmmm.

    I am spending the whole day cuddling my LO, telling that cow to shut up and sending apologies out into the universe.

    I can't be the only guilty party though....right?

    :blush:
     
  2. Lightworker

    Lightworker Well-Known Member

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    I know its hard not to compare - it seems to be something ingrained into us from a young age. What I do is just when you catch yourself doing, remind yourself that everyone is different, we all develop differently and have our own unique and special traits. Over time the comparing will disappear. X
     
  3. Kalah

    Kalah Guest

    Oh I do that too, I'm sure everyone does really! I'm guilty of feeling a bit bad when another baby is doing something before my LO, but then my baby girl shoves her face into my face and squeals at me and suddenly I forget all about it!

    Also when we're out she tends to not do much other than look around and watch things happen. The other week we went to visit the parents of OH's best friend (his friend died 6 years ago but OH and the parents stayed very close, they are really amazing parents) anyway Kili has been there before but it was months ago so she didn't remember, she screamed and cried until eventually I just sat down with her and she cuddled into me and watched everyone for half an hour before finally being comfortable, she she went to the floor and proceeded to get into everything as usual! :haha:
     
  4. babyjiva

    babyjiva 1st baby

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    i don't compare but i might if i saw a baby doing more than my baby. i'm not sure if i would or not. she's pretty far along at 7 months. she's crawling, pulling herself up to stand, definitely alert and aware of things. i sometimes, if i see a baby who is not doing all this and is older, kind of play it down! haha because i don't want anyone to feel bad. I really think that comparing mindset needs to go. it doesn't make anyone feel good, even the mom's with babies who are "ahead"
    don't feel so bad about it though. your LO doesn't know :) and it's not as if you want a different baby, you're just excited for his milestones.
     
  5. tristansmum

    tristansmum Well-Known Member

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    my friend's baby was born 5 days after my son and i can't help comparing them all the time lol
     
  6. CeriB

    CeriB Well-Known Member

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    I do this too :blush: I go one step further and think to myself 'well, she can't do that, but she can do this' 8-[

    If I EVER say it out loud, I expect a good slap!!

    I know we shouldn't but I thinks its natural! We all want to see our LOs grow and see what they accomplish and it is only natural to think what next and why not yet?! Not bad at all!!!
     
  7. ke29

    ke29 Well-Known Member

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    I think its normal, I compare my LO to other babies often (not out loud)
     
  8. CharlieKeys

    CharlieKeys Well-Known Member

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    ahh yes I've been guilty of it! There's one girl on my FB who had her little boy a week before mine and Stephen's being doing things way before hers has... and everytime she puts up of a photo of her LO doing something, I'll end up taking one of Stephen and putting it up!! Ahhh I don't know why I do it, cause I'm not bothered really about who's baby can do what and when - it's all about doing it in their own time! :dohh:
     
  9. AP

    AP Well-Known Member
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    no i dont compare now. having a toddler whos developmentally behind ive learnt not to. id be so broken hearted if someone was judging either of my children id never do it to anyone else. i am blessed to have them as they are
     
  10. babypowder

    babypowder Well-Known Member

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    My friends have LOs 9 days old and 3 weeks younger and we all compare them, out loud mostly :D x
     
  11. XfairyhopesX

    XfairyhopesX Mummy to my Pixxie & WTT

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    Im a terror for it!!! theres a couple of babs on FB born within weeks and im always thinking... showoff LOL etc etc and there is a baby nearby where i like 3 whole months younger and is literally miles ahead, i try not to honest it do!!! but i keep thinking things like when i tell our friends hes walking etc, would be a deflation as others did things so young... oooops thats so so bad LOL xxx
     
  12. Mel+Bump

    Mel+Bump Well-Known Member

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    Im sorry but I did Lol a bit when you said he sat and chewed a scarf for an hour :rofl:

    My LO has a cousin who is 3 weeks older than her and Im constantly comparing them. But now I can see that 3 weeks is a MASSIVE amount of time in terms of babies development. From the age that your LO is to the age of mine, she learnt to crawl, pull herself up, stand on her own, walk with a little truck and tried to take a step today. such huge things will happen with your LO in such a short time soon that you won't have time to compare!
     
  13. FEDup1981

    FEDup1981 Mam of two & two angels

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    girls tend to reach mile stones much quicker than boys anyway, he'll do it in his own time.

    Enjoy him being a baby, because you really do miss it when they grow up!
     
  14. lillybells

    lillybells Well-Known Member

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    My friends baby is 5 days younger then Isla, and she has been crawling for a couple of months, and pulling herself up and getting round the furniture for the last month!

    Isla has just started rolling one side and thats it lol!

    Its natural but I just thinkg of the positives, the longer she isnt moving around the easier my life is ;-)

    x
     
  15. Kalah

    Kalah Guest

    That's the exact reason I won't openly compare babies (I try not to even think comparisons but sometimes that's hard)
    My SIL was pregnant the same time as me, due dates just days apart,m I was worried she was going to be really competitive..but she ended up having my nephew premature, with lots of problems, he's nearly deaf, lots of developmental problems can't even sit up or anything now I'd give anything to hear her bragging about him doing things first because at least that would be better than him not being able to do these things. I feel bad enough just posting my own proud mommy moments on facebook because she can see them and I don't want her and my brother to feel bad. I wouldn't dare say someone's baby seemed behind because if it turned out they really did have a problem I was feel absolutely terrible. No ones baby is better than anyone elses even if one is more "special" than another.
     
  16. Kimmy25

    Kimmy25 Well-Known Member

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    i did with ds1 but this time im tryna keep a baby as long as possible! xx
     
  17. sapphire1

    sapphire1 Well-Known Member

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    Oh, I compare all the time (out loud usually), but as Holly's always the one that's behind I don't feel bad :haha: I'm still waiting for her to laugh for chuffs sake - she's 5 months old haha! I used to worry, at her 8 week check the doctor wanted to monitor her sight because she wasn't doing something or other - now I'm not bothered, as long as she's walking by the time she's at school :rofl:
     
  18. Mel+Bump

    Mel+Bump Well-Known Member

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    Almost 2 hours later Im still giggling at the chewing the scarf comment :blush: I think its because Ive totally been there.

    The walking by school age comment also got me.

    I think Im easily amused :|
     
  19. Babushka99

    Babushka99 Well-Known Member

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    Isn't your l.o 7 months only? he might surpass your friends baby at 9 months!
     
  20. Cat lady

    Cat lady Well-Known Member

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    I am the mum whose baby is far ahead! Thomas was crawling by 6 months, walking along the sofa a week later and a few days before he was 9 months he started walking by himself. Its early, I know it is...but my friends little one is only 5 weeks younger and can barely sit up by himself, he can only roll one way. I have told her time and time again there is nothing wrong with her little boy, he will do things in his own time, but she still worrys. The other day she made a comment about her little man not doing much, I played down Thomas's abilities, then Thomas walked up to her little one, lifted up his top and blew a raspberry on his belly and then walked away again. It was hilarious! But at the same time, I could tell, she is concerned. I hate the fact that my little bud is making her worry so much about her own little bud!
    xxx
     

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