Horrified .. drinking and smoking

[Sofiekirsten]

I think a lot of women on this board forget that everyone is different. Just because someone feels comfortable doing something while they're pregnant and you don't doesn't mean you have to jump their case for it OR state your opinion in a hateful way to make the others feel like they're doing something wrong. Just because you would do something to harm your baby, I wouldn't do anything to harm mine, ect. EVERYONE has different perspectives on everything. We're human for pete's sake!

I do not smoke nor drink (as I didn't smoke at all pre-pregnancy and drank rarely) Everyone has a right to their own feelings - but it is NO ONE's place to make another person feel bad for their choices. If you go from smoking 20+ a day and cut down to 4 a day, be HAPPY for that person! Calling someone a bad parent or saying they're abusing their child is absurd! They should be congratulated as I'm sure it's hard to cut down that much. I'm sure you ladies will be all over me saying 'well, I quit, It was hard but I did it.' Congratulations! Back to the original point that not everyone is the same.

Same with drinking. Don't jump down someones throat because they have a glass or two of WINE a week. It's not like they're drinking Jack Daniels and getting carried away. Congratulations if you don't drink, but do not look down on a woman that does! There are so many worries, concerns, and hormones through pregnancy anyway. I wouldn't want someone in my family telling me what to do let alone a woman on a forum that I've never met! I don't know why so many people are so judgmental as this is suppose to be a supportive board.

This is very well put.

Although I smoke I don't smoke anywhere near the amount I used to...I smoked 25 a day and I am now down to 10 a day and working on getting that down to 5 a day.

And during this pregnancy I haven't drank, not because I don't want to purely because the smell of it makes me puke now! but I never drank before becoming pregnant.

 

[laila 44]

I think a lot of women on this board forget that everyone is different. Just because someone feels comfortable doing something while they're pregnant and you don't doesn't mean you have to jump their case for it OR state your opinion in a hateful way to make the others feel like they're doing something wrong. Just because you would do something to harm your baby, I wouldn't do anything to harm mine, ect. EVERYONE has different perspectives on everything. We're human for pete's sake!

I do not smoke nor drink (as I didn't smoke at all pre-pregnancy and drank rarely) Everyone has a right to their own feelings - but it is NO ONE's place to make another person feel bad for their choices. If you go from smoking 20+ a day and cut down to 4 a day, be HAPPY for that person! Calling someone a bad parent or saying they're abusing their child is absurd! They should be congratulated as I'm sure it's hard to cut down that much. I'm sure you ladies will be all over me saying 'well, I quit, It was hard but I did it.' Congratulations! Back to the original point that not everyone is the same.

Same with drinking. Don't jump down someones throat because they have a glass or two of WINE a week. It's not like they're drinking Jack Daniels and getting carried away. Congratulations if you don't drink, but do not look down on a woman that does! There are so many worries, concerns, and hormones through pregnancy anyway. I wouldn't want someone in my family telling me what to do let alone a woman on a forum that I've never met! I don't know why so many people are so judgmental as this is suppose to be a supportive board.

This is very well put.

Although I smoke I don't smoke anywhere near the amount I used to...I smoked 25 a day and I am now down to 10 a day and working on getting that down to 5 a day.

And during this pregnancy I haven't drank, not because I don't want to purely because the smell of it makes me puke now! but I never drank before becoming pregnant.

PROPS to you for cutting down!! that's amazing! keep it up, I know how hard it can be xx

 

[Phantom]

I don't think you should be so judgemental. She's right, there's nothing wrong with 2 glasses of wine a week. You're told not to have any just for the same reasons you're told not to have raw fish and soft serve and all that other stuff- just in case. In other parts of the world they don't even have these silly rules and their babies are just fine.

 

[lindseymw]

Smoking and drinking during pregnancy is just another form of child abuse, in my opinion.

Excuse me, if you'd care to check back on your previous posts, you actually state you had half a glass of wine on your birthday....you friggin hypocrite!

Mummy, thats hilarious!

Sibelle, you might as well call Social Services on me now as I've had the odd glass of wine throughout pregnancy (& my previous pregnancy as well), along with runny eggs, brie & loads of deli meats, oh and one McFlurry.

Drinking a glass of wine every now & again in pregnancy is perfectly fine in my opinion & I dont see why anyone should be made to guilty over this!

Same with smoking, if people are making the effort of cutting down/quitting then NO ONE has the right to make them feel like they are bad person.

 

[Itsychik]

@ Lindsey- wow, your post REALLY made me want to get a McFlurry! Yumm! A little over a month ago I was driving to work in the morning (9am) and I pass 2 McDonald's... and I just HAD to stop and get one. It was soooo good.

Sorry, OT, but now I can't get them out of my head!

 

[AP]

I understand how people find it hard to stop smoking (even though smoking in pregnancy is a no no to me) but drinking alcohol to me is a bit different? Surely you can just drink something else?

 

[lindseymw]

@ Lindsey- wow, your post REALLY made me want to get a McFlurry! Yumm! A little over a month ago I was driving to work in the morning (9am) and I pass 2 McDonald's... and I just HAD to stop and get one. It was soooo good.

Sorry, OT, but now I can't get them out of my head!

I'm really sorry for that!

 

[LeeBee]

Wowza... this was an interesting thread to read!

To the original poster... I know how it feels to feel strongly one way, then see a good friend doing those types of things while she's pregnant. I was in a very similiar situation with a friend of mine, and it was really hard to be around her. Things really haven't been the same since, which is a bummer

Anyways, I won't go too deep into my opinion. But I will say that I used to be a very heavy drinker, and smoked over a pack a day for 10 years. I quit cold turkey when I got my BFP with my first son (a wonderful suprise), so it's not impossible! Keep trying!

 

[lynys]

Smoking and drinking during pregnancy is just another form of child abuse, in my opinion.

Excuse me, if you'd care to check back on your previous posts, you actually state you had half a glass of wine on your birthday....you friggin hypocrite!

THAT, is awesome!

 

[baby05]

it makes me sad when I see people smoking at all pregnant or not... I worked in a nursing home for 2 years and saw too many people who had smoked and were dealing with the consequences. After working there, I knew smoking would not be part of my future.

I dont get upset if i see a lady taking a drink, but when I know they are drinking daily I get sad for the baby... My dr says there is no amount of drinking that has been shown to be safe... and while you can say that about a lot of things, giving a toddler a glass of wine is illegal, and probably not a good idea, I dont see why giving it to an unborn fetus is any better IMO!

 

[gertrude]

I think the other issue that is being ignored here (one rule fits all humans anyone?) is that the impact of 1 unit of alcohol on me is going to be very different to the impact on someone else

I drank like a fish before I got pregnant, I also weighed 17st before being PG, just by pure logic 1 unit will impact on my blood stream much less than on someone who weighs half my weight and who didn't drink

the NICE guidelines are very clear - the government ones are created simply to control (I can't see any other reason why they would disagree with NICE - they're not the experts here)

I can't comment on smoking as I never have smoked, but I'm not about to judge someone if they do - I don't because I've never smoked (despite trying a LOT when I was a teenager )

but drinking in pregnancy really gets my goat I'm afraid.

Congrats to the ladies on here who are able to express themselves so eloquently and who have done their own research, read the real research (and not tabloid hype) and drawn their own risks. The world needs more people like that.

 

[mardy]

I think it's very wrong to judge other people. I personally do not smoke or drink in pregnancy, but I don't comment on women who choose to. It is their choice, their life, their baby. Each to their own.

 

[SiBelle]

Smoking and drinking during pregnancy is just another form of child abuse, in my opinion.

Excuse me, if you'd care to check back on your previous posts, you actually state you had half a glass of wine on your birthday....you friggin hypocrite!

Mummy, thats hilarious!

Sibelle, you might as well call Social Services on me now as I've had the odd glass of wine throughout pregnancy (& my previous pregnancy as well), along with runny eggs, brie & loads of deli meats, oh and one McFlurry.

Drinking a glass of wine every now & again in pregnancy is perfectly fine in my opinion & I dont see why anyone should be made to guilty over this!

Same with smoking, if people are making the effort of cutting down/quitting then NO ONE has the right to make them feel like they are bad person.

Wow, talk about things being blown out of proportion here!
I was merely referring to the main poster. Her friend had a bottle of red wine and was smoking and said that it was perfectly fine: The point is, that is NOT fine! If you are trying to quit smoking, as some on here have, MY GOSH good on you. I know it's not easy. But if you are going to open up a bottle wine, drink half of it per week AND have your smokes without thinking twice about it, then yah, that's abuse. That's all I'm saying.

I had half a glass of wine on my birthday, NOT half a bottle! And I quit smoking before getting pregnant.

Whoa!

 

[SiBelle]

Wowza... this was an interesting thread to read!

To the original poster... I know how it feels to feel strongly one way, then see a good friend doing those types of things while she's pregnant. I was in a very similiar situation with a friend of mine, and it was really hard to be around her. Things really haven't been the same since, which is a bummer

Anyways, I won't go too deep into my opinion. But I will say that I used to be a very heavy drinker, and smoked over a pack a day for 10 years. I quit cold turkey when I got my BFP with my first son (a wonderful suprise), so it's not impossible! Keep trying!

I admire you. You set a very good example. It's not an easy feat. I'm really sorry things didn't work out with your friend. Congrats on your BFP!

 

[heather91]

Smoking and drinking during pregnancy is just another form of child abuse, in my opinion.

Excuse me, if you'd care to check back on your previous posts, you actually state you had half a glass of wine on your birthday....you friggin hypocrite!

Mummy, thats hilarious!

Sibelle, you might as well call Social Services on me now as I've had the odd glass of wine throughout pregnancy (& my previous pregnancy as well), along with runny eggs, brie & loads of deli meats, oh and one McFlurry.

Drinking a glass of wine every now & again in pregnancy is perfectly fine in my opinion & I dont see why anyone should be made to guilty over this!

Same with smoking, if people are making the effort of cutting down/quitting then NO ONE has the right to make them feel like they are bad person.

Wow, talk about things being blown out of proportion here!
I was merely referring to the main poster. Her friend had a bottle of red wine and was smoking and said that it was perfectly fine: The point is, that is NOT fine! If you are trying to quit smoking, as some on here have, MY GOSH good on you. I know it's not easy. But if you are going to open up a bottle wine, drink half of it per week AND have your smokes without thinking twice about it, then yah, that's abuse. That's all I'm saying.

I had half a glass of wine on my birthday, NOT half a bottle! And I quit smoking before getting pregnant.

Whoa!

I hardly think you can say things are being blown out of proportion when you said smoking and drinking is child abuse, knowing that quite of few ladies on here do smoke and/or drink. What kind of reaction did you expect to an 'opinion' like that?

 

[sequeena]

This is obviously a personal thing for each woman. For me I won't be drinking, the only thing I want getting through to my baby is water because of my waters breaking at 14 weeks

 

[SiBelle]

I am sorry if I've offended anyone. We are bombarded here in Canada with ads "smoking and drinking during pregnancy is child abuse" I was merely repeating what we are exposed to here. I didn't mean to offend anyone.
I definitely would not say anything if I saw a friend of mine having a glass of wine while pregnant, but I would be concerned and would definitely say something if I saw her getting plowed and not taking care of herself.

I also admit that I posted it without thinking twice and before reading further than the original post.

My sincere apologies.

 

[momma2be2011]

I sat down for quite a while thinking yesterday after I posted in this thread. I understand everyone's positions and opinions, and by all means we should be allowed to express them. I felt personally attacked by some of the comments on here because I am struggling to quit smoking, and honestly most (not all) of us that are still smoking beat ourselves up daily as it is. It's disheartening to come to this forum seeking advice, answers AND support; only to be left feeling attacked and judged. The child abuse comment in here was absolutely uncalled for and extremely hurtful. This comment has lead me to make the decision to no longer be and active member on baby and bump. I wish you all the best in your pregnancies, and for all of us who are still struggling with our addictions, BE STRONG! Peace to all.

 

[SiBelle]

I sat down for quite a while thinking yesterday after I posted in this thread. I understand everyone's positions and opinions, and by all means we should be allowed to express them. I felt personally attacked by some of the comments on here because I am struggling to quit smoking, and honestly most (not all) of us that are still smoking beat ourselves up daily as it is. It's disheartening to come to this forum seeking advice, answers AND support; only to be left feeling attacked and judged. The child abuse comment in here was absolutely uncalled for and extremely hurtful. This comment has lead me to make the decision to no longer be and active member on baby and bump. I wish you all the best in your pregnancies, and for all of us who are still struggling with our addictions, BE STRONG! Peace to all.

I apologize if my comment made you feel this way. It was meant as a general comment to those who drink and smoke without any remorse, and it happens more often than we think. While others do everything they can to eat healthy and have trouble getting a BFP in the first place.

Still, I should have been more sensitive and thought twice before posting it.
Just the fact that you are on here proves that you care and that you will be a wonderful mother. Quitting smoking is not an easy thing to do. There are far more dangerous things.

Please, reconsider leaving the forum just on the account of my selfish comment. There is so much support on here and I would feel terrible if you missed out on it because of a mistake I made.

 

[LadyHutch]

hhmm- I understand where everyone is coming from and I agree with xolily in thinking that the doc probably told her that 5 was better than the pack a day she was smoking before BUT none of us are perfect! If we were and were thinking about our baby ALL of the time- we wouldn't eat the macdonalds breakfasts, crisps, chocolate and those naughty things that most people think they 'crave' during the 9 months- if we were so perfect, we would exercise regularly- only eat healthy food and avoid any contact with anything toxic. I'm sure she knows that she is doing wrong but tries to justify it to herself and you, to make herself feel better! I think leave her to do what she chooses to do. We can only do our best for our baby's and everyone is different - someone just told me off on this site for not taking prenatals- but I eat a v healthy diet and don't eat junk food, so don't believe I need them (and feel uncomfortable taking anything not prescribed by my doc)- am I a bad mother? some obviously think so- but we are all different and have different needs/wants/beliefs etc.

<sarcasm> I am moving into my sterile bubble as we speak. Only me, a sterilized treadmill (so i can get that perfect amount of exercize) and carrots...steamed in purified and distilled water. </sarcasm>

Love this post.