Husband putting baby to bed...please help!

[rooster100]

Hi ladies,
I have always but my lo to bed myself and got up with him in the night as I was EBF.. Now I am going back to Work in 3 weeks and my husband can't put the baby to sleep by himself!! He screams and screams (the baby! until I come up and cuddle him. The minute I hold hinge stood crying and goes straight to sleep!
I do 13hr shifts and so my DH will have to settle him himself. Any advice? X

 

[Balloo]

Does he do the bedtime routine? Or tried skin to skin cuddles before getting LO dressed for bed? My OH generally does penny's bath, has a cuddle, gets her dressed for bed, reads her a book and then puts her down. She now goes down so much better for him than she does for me!! Also maybe try being in the room with OH while he's putting LO down, so LO gets used to him putting him down? Hope u figure it out soon Hun xx

 

[rooster100]

Thanks so much for your response. Yes he does do the bedtime routine, he bathes him, and gives him a bottle (now I'm weaning him off the boob) he adores DH but when he has finished the bottle he starts to cry and just wants me to cuddle him! It's rough work x

 

[ReadytoMum]

He just has to keep at it! And you have to give him the space to do it. I know it's hard on everyone, but eventually your LO will just be used to Daddy putting him down and it won't be a big deal.

I would actually suggest that you might be better off if LO doesn't see you at all while DH is trying to put him down, otherwise if he sees you he might get upset that you won't hold him to put him down.

Good luck mama!

 

[mwah_xx]

We had the same issue. We set a time limit on how long my dh was putting down LO (30 minutes of crying was it!) I stayed completely away and out of sight, if I went near the room that would have been it!

We found my dh needed to do things differently to me, I used to cuddle on the rocking chair to sleep in the dark with the door shut. My dh had to walk up and down rocking with the door open and the light in the hall on.

Now we are working on going to bed awake with pupd but that's a whole other story!!!!!!

 

[rooster100]

Thanks ladies! Maybe I will leave the house for an hour while DH tries to settle him. I just can't handle hearing him crying, knowing I can stop it!
Xx

 

[lozzy21]

Leave the house for bedtime and make sure LO sees you go. If your not there you will probably find he settles a lot quicker.

 

[jd83]

I agree, try not to interfere even if its upsetting hearing him crying. If you keep interfering every time by going up to help, it just starts the cycle over again because your lo was still settled by you, not daddy. It's a hard cycle to break, but it can be done. Yes, he's crying, but there IS someone there to comfort him. It may not be who he wants, but there IS a parent there to comfort him. He will soon realize that BOTH of you are perfectly capable of offering him comfort to get to sleep. I would just let you DH keep working on it, maybe offer some ideas of things you do that help to comfort him that he can try, or even different things than you do that still could work if he tries them. Make sure he is keeping himself calm. If he is getting stressed because he's not able to get him calmed down like you do, your lo is going to pick up on that too which could be part of the problem as well.

 

[rooster100]

Girls thanks for all your great advice. I left DH with him for 45 mins last night and left the house but when I got back he was still screaming. I just had to go to him! He settled immediately with me. Will do the same again tonight though xxx