I want a Christmas BFP...anyone else?

[bluebird]

Wow, you must have been pissed. The first time we dtd after my mmc, DH wanted to use a condom and that made me cry, so I can see where you are coming from. I think men just view this process so differently than we do. I think if he feels differently since your conversation, then go for it. If it were me, I would be more upset if I didn't at least try. Sorry you're dealing with this : (

Thanks mlm, I appreciate your response more than you could know. I have felt like a lunatic the last 12 hours!!! Like why do I care so much??? It shouldn't be that big of a deal to wait another month, right? You're so right though, I think I'll be kicking myself for the next 2 weeks if we don't give it a shot.

 

[mackjess]

Maybe it's because guys tend to show less emotion, that he thought my crying and crying and being so upset was terrible for me, but it's what I needed to do to heal so I could try again. He was just really nervous I was going to break or something if i were to get preggers again, but going thru the emotions is what makes us strong enough, not the other way around. yea, I'm scared. Every time I go to pee I cringe waiting for the moment to see if there is any spotting or bleeding in my undies, I worry about rest and sleep and work and stress and anything you can think of. But I'm so happy that I have this to worry about that it's worth it. I don't think DH gets that, so I'm so glad I have this place to type to and share my worries and get reassurance. And its why I'm not in the first tri forums. No way I can even think about buying maternity clothes or planning showers or anything yet. I will probably do all that as late as possible.

 

[BSelck24]

OMG, having a crisis and need some advice from you ladies because I feel like you may be the only ones that understand!

I FINALLY got a true positive OPK yesterday afternoon so the husband and I dtd last night but he pulled out. I asked him why??? and he said that I have been doing so well the last couple of weeks (I had a D&C 6 weeks ago) and he doesn't want me to slip back into a funk if we don't get pregnant/have another MC. And we have sooooo much going on with work/holidays/etc. right now. We talked about TTC again right after the MC and had decided to try again asap so this was a big fat shock!!! I couldn't sleep last night- I only got about an hour- and cried like crazy.
I got up for work this morning and did my Clearblue monitor test and OF COURSE got a peak. Then I totally lost it, just started sobbing followed shortly by a panic attack- which woke up the husband. We talked it out for about an hour, I told him why it was so important for me to start trying again right away.... he said he had no idea I felt that way and he agreed to try this afternoon.
Here's where I need the advice: Is it right to TTC if I have to talk my husband into it??? I want him to want another baby, you know? And if we are going to try this cycle it has to be this afternoon... Im afraid it will be wierd and non-romantic and I'm a mess after the events of last night. What would you guys do? Chalk it up to a sh*t year and wait until January or go for it?

Wow Bluebird! I would have been shocked and upset as well! But just as a few other ladies have mentioned, my husband also had a bit of a freak out when we decided to try again after the mc. Just like you, we were both enthusiastic from the get go to ttc straight after the mc. However, when the time came and we were ready to dtd, he hesitated and I asked why? He said he wasn't sure we were ready, we had so much going on... blah blah blah as far as I was concerned. But then I realized the excuses he was making was his way of showing he wasn't ready and that he truly had been emotionally affected by the mc just as I had been. So we ended up just talking that night and 2 days later we were back at dtd and ttc. So I would say don't feel too bad if you both decide to wait until January because it sounds like you're doing great tracking your O and temps and a little healing time for the husband may be needed

 

[Topanga053]

I don't have much time, but didn't want to read and run. Totally agree with the other ladies. DH has already said that he's terrified of another miscarriage. The first one didn't bother him (baby never seemed particularly real to him), but he can't stand to watch me fall apart again. It has been horrible for him to have to watch me be in so much pain and not be able to take it away. He's said over and over again that he just wants to be able to feel the pain instead of me.

I would absolutely TTC tonight. Who cares if it feels a little unromantic!? I can't stand wasting months. That's not an option in my house lol! You have plenty of time to have nice, sweet, romantic sex. Sometimes it does need to just be about business! ;-)

 

[jessschuck]

does anyone on here happen to know what it means when your cervix feels like puckered lips??? I was supposed to have ovulated 8 days ago... but I noticed today the texture of my cervix has changed... and it literally feels like puckered lips???

 

[mlm115]

Do you guys get twinges/pain before ovulation? If so, how soon before do you get it? Asking because I feel what feels like ov pain, but neg opks and on cd 12.

 

[Holliedolly]

Hey, as you can imagine my other half was distraught after losing our daughter and the funeral took all of his strength out of him. Ever since he's been up and down and changed his mind about ttc but sometimes you just have to take charge and let the world know that you wont feel happy until you get to become a mummy. I told so many people that I am a mum without a child and that's the only way I can explain my current feelings, so having told my other half that actually, for our relationship to continue I need a little bit of hope for the future and the only way I'll get that hope is if he keeps my dream alive and let's us try again. Needless to say this is the only month we've seriously ttc since august and I feel much closer to him and less woeful. He didn't have to give birth and he didn't have to pick me up when it all went wrong, I am a woman and I'm stronger than any man I know. Be kind to yourself and take charge!! Xx

 

[Topanga053]

Do you guys get twinges/pain before ovulation? If so, how soon before do you get it? Asking because I feel what feels like ov pain, but neg opks and on cd 12.

I never used to before the miscarriage, but now I do. I seem to get them 1-2 days before ovulation.

 

[bluebird]

Thanks again for the responses yesterday ladies, they totally helped calm me down! You are all amazing, you just know the right things to say

So I decided to just play it by ear on what to do (or not do!) yesterday afternoon. I let the husband take the lead because I really don't want to push TTC on him. Well he ended up pushing it on me!!! lol He went 50 shades of gray on me yesterday afternoon So we dtd yesterday and now it's on to the TWW. And I'm thinking it will go pretty quickly- going camping with a bunch of friends this weekend, xmas next week, New Years the week after, and my birthday on the 2nd! I absolutely REFUSE to test before my birthday.... yeah, fat chance

mlm- I had twinges on the right a couple days before I ovulated this time. I thought I was OVing at the time, but then got the positive OPK yesterday am. Hopefully you will O in the next couple days or so and we can demand tests out of each other in a couple weeks!

Anyone else OVing this week? Topanga you are getting close right?

 

[bluebird]

This is too funny not to share with you guys...

I was just in our break room and one of my co-workers (she is a bit older, early 50s and very conservative, dresses in sweater sets and flats) held up two bananas and yelled across the room at me "which one do you want, the big one or the small one? Im not picky, I'll take either" HAHAHAHA! And she was totally serious too. Every guy in the lunch room turned and looked at me like "Well, tell us now what do you prefer??" lol Ummmmm do I really need to answer that? OF COURSE I want the big one!

 

[Topanga053]

Bluebird, I'm so glad that your husband was feeling frisky yesterday! I think you would have regretted it if you didn't take advantage of this window! And that was a hilarious story about your co-worker!!!

Afm, yup, ovulation was probably yesterday. However, to avoid the horrid TWW suspense, I usually tell myself that I could still ovulate late, so we keep TTC all month!

I do have the Day 21 test scheduled for Monday morning (Merry Christmas Eve to me!), so I'll be excited to hear the results of that after Christmas!

I'm also wicked excited for the holidays!! I'm having dinner with a friend tonight, taking tomorrow off from work , meeting with a builder tomorrow morning about our new house (!!!), going gambling with some friends tomorrow night, then Christmas parties all weekend!

Hope everyone else is doing well! Where is everyone else in their cycle???

 

[mlm115]

Yay bluebird, so glad your DH decided to turn into Christian Grey, that's awesome! I'm sure you must be feeling happier now.

I know I must be ovulating soon. I have twingy pain on my left side and had a very little bit of spotting today (which I read is normal around ov, right?). I just took an opk and I think it may be positive. At least it's a lot darker than normal. I'll take another one later to see for sure.

 

[bluebird]

Yay bluebird, so glad your DH decided to turn into Christian Grey, that's awesome! I'm sure you must be feeling happier now.

I know I must be ovulating soon. I have twingy pain on my left side and had a very little bit of spotting today (which I read is normal around ov, right?). I just took an opk and I think it may be positive. At least it's a lot darker than normal. I'll take another one later to see for sure.

Spotting is totally normal right before OV- it's actually a really good sign of fertility, yeah mlm!!! Time to get busy

 

[wannabewillow]

Thanks again for the responses yesterday ladies, they totally helped calm me down! You are all amazing, you just know the right things to say

So I decided to just play it by ear on what to do (or not do!) yesterday afternoon. I let the husband take the lead because I really don't want to push TTC on him. Well he ended up pushing it on me!!! lol He went 50 shades of gray on me yesterday afternoon So we dtd yesterday and now it's on to the TWW. And I'm thinking it will go pretty quickly- going camping with a bunch of friends this weekend, xmas next week, New Years the week after, and my birthday on the 2nd! I absolutely REFUSE to test before my birthday.... yeah, fat chance :

Anyone else OVing this week? Topanga you are getting close right?

Go Bluebird! sorry I've been a bit quiet, work was mental the last couple of days and DD's nursery phoned me to say she was unwell, so I haven't stopped since yesterday morning, to be able to more than a couple of lines!

Hi Hollie. I read your post, I'm so sorry for your loss. You seem like such a strong lady. I hope you and your DH get that BFP this month.

Who else is ovulating this week? Anyone else testing this week too? Good luck and lots of sticky to all. Xxx

 

[JohnsonGirl]

Hi lovely ladies! I've been out of Internet range for a few days- lots has happened here!

First- HUGE congrats to wannabewillow. I'm so excited for you and love that u peed on millions of tests!!

Bluebird- I'm glad u and DH got down to it in the end. I can imagine how hurt you were. My DH pulled out without warning me after the mc and I went nuts- told him I wasnt some dirty one night stand.....hormones! He never did it again! Good luck for the dreaded tww

Topanga- yay for ovulation and I'm with u- bd as much as possible, it doesn't all have to be about catching the egg

Mlm- fxd for ovulation soon.

Hollie- welcome lovely. I'm so heart broken for your story. Really glad you're ready to try again. This is a great supportive thread x

Okay, AFM.......AF HAS ARRIVED!!!!! Yaaaaaay!!! 9 weeks after d&c and I can tell u it's BRUTAL!!! But I'm just so happy things are working again! What's really surprising is that I'm suddenly terrified again. Now we can really try again and I'm so scared of all the 'what if's'. It's almost like I was safer before- in limbo. Well I'm gonna put on my brave face and get back in the game- I'm officially on CD3!!!!!

 

[jessschuck]

I took a pt today and got a BFN. I'm supposedly only 10 dpo, how long does it take for a BFP if you did concieve? Waiting is so hard. Congrats to everyone who has gotten a BFP!!! and for everyone that got AF, I'm sorry!!! At least the pipes are working though!!!

 

[Lbrum]

Hey jessschuck. It's different for everyone. Some people get them at 9dpo. When I was pregnant I didn't get one til I was a few days late. If you don't come on take another one, you could still be in

 

[cozmos]

hey ;ladies hope all well with u all ....im oving this week im hoping its already happened as my boobies are sore yey!!!

been so hectic at work haven had much time for dtd but still have fitted in a few quickies so who knows eeeek ....
hope everyone has great xmas an we get a few more bfps xx

 

[jessschuck]

thanks Lbrum. I looked at the one from yesterday again, its a first response early detection, it has a line now, but I thinks its an evap because I soon as i saw that second line i did another one, which was this morning. and theres no line on that one at all. Super bummed, because I thought first response (pink lines) don't show obvious evaps. I know pregnancy tests with blue lines are infamous for dark evap lines... but I thought first response didn't really have evap lines. *sigh. oh well, gonna wait.

 

[wannabewillow]

I don't want to get your hopes up lovely, but when I used a FRER, it took a good few minutes for a line to show. The next day, I used a digi with my first pee of the day to be sure that it wasn't an evap. You're still very early. I really hope you get your BFP! Xxx

thanks Lbrum. I looked at the one from yesterday again, its a first response early detection, it has a line now, but I thinks its an evap because I soon as i saw that second line i did another one, which was this morning. and theres no line on that one at all. Super bummed, because I thought first response (pink lines) don't show obvious evaps. I know pregnancy tests with blue lines are infamous for dark evap lines... but I thought first response didn't really have evap lines. *sigh. oh well, gonna wait.