icsi in 2011?

[annie25]

hey tinks it will whizz by soon i know it will suddenly it seems all ago at my end and i feel like ive been waiting a eternity took me 2 years to get to diagnosis and i feel like forever!

im feeling pretty rubbish tonight i think its all hit home properly i know i should be excited but im just scared in so many ways! so a month from now and i start down regulating lets hope moving and egg collection arent the same day otherwise that will be a tricky situation.

DH is feeling down cause he feels its his fault that i have to do all this i dont care i just want a blooming bfp! xxx

 

[Tinks85]

Annie

Sorry you are having a rough night. I would think worrying about everything going to plan is normal, you are bound to feel a little scared and overwhelmd also. Try not to worry about EC and move being on the same day, hopefully they wont be

I am always worried about making DH reel guilty. I try my hardest not to get upset infront of him all the time. He has said the worst thing for him is seeing what this is doing to me At the end of the day there is no fault and just the hand we have been delt

Hope you feel better soon and get you PMA back

 

[Lolly1985]

Hi Ladies

Sorry you are feeling low today Annie. Like Tinks said its totally normal as that fear starts creeping in. I've been there and DP said he couldn't understand why each time we get close to a treatment I got down. He thinks it should be the other way. I guess its that defense mechanism kicking in to save hurt. But try and think why shouldn't it work? But allow yourself to be down sometimes, its normal, and just think, from that point the only way is up

Hi Tinks, how are you going? 2 weeks today, yay!! You are really getting there. Hope you're holding up ok and the PMA is serving you well

Hi Gill, hope you are well

Yaaaaayyyy Nayla, can't believe you are all systems go!! How exciting, i'm so jealous!! All the luck in the world girl

AFM I've had the worst start to the week, not so much ICSI stuff for a change, just works been the worst and is causing major stress!!! Hoping for a better day tomorrow. Plus have just heard my mum and dad are coming up in 2 weeks (the live 400 miles away ) Plus hoping to be spoilt for my bday sunday by DP!!! So things are looking up!

Love Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Nayla82]

Good Morning Ladies.

I got my Blood tests done at 7.15am im so glad that my husband was with me, 4 huge test tubes of blood I cant believe it cost £440 our jaws almost dropped when he said the price (I was thinking no more that £200)

My husband dropped me home and he went straight to work. I should be getting ready now but I cant stop crying since i walked through the doors

I keep telling myself, damn it I need to be stronger than this!! I really do feel that im too weak for all this, and this is just a blood test and im so so sad/upset I was overwhelmed sat there so early in the clinic looking around really did hit home, and i guess this is the first of many more visits to the clinic. On the drive home i try to show my husband a brave face and said to him before we know it we will be having baby scans he was just quiet and asked me whether i wanted a Maccy's breakfast I just wanted my bed.

I really think today has hit us so bad, were just a young happy go lucky couple thats very unfortunate I should be much happier and blessed that its all about to start. Ladies im so so so so scared that it will not work first time and the expense is so much never can we go private again i just wish i could be feeling much stronger..

Gill very sorry that you had MC the pain must be so so raw, 3 of my good friends had a MC and than went on to have healthy babies, i Think its 1 in 5 or 3 women MC? I hope and pray none of us will experience this xx Thats another huge fear of mine, coming so far than having an MC i just feel its never ending worry

I really need to get a grip and pull myself together! i have to be much much stronger and positive, wow never did i think i would have hit rock bottom as i have now and its so so early for me to be freaking out

Sorry again for such a sad post hope you all doing well, tink lolly annie and everyone else, will update what the FS says by the end of the week im sure this emotion will pass by.

Im so so so scared of it not working i really am, i just got to a stage in my life where good things and happiness happens to others not me

 

[Tinks85]

Thanks Lolly, I am doing ok for a change and a week on Monday does not seem so far away. We have a busy weekend ahead of us so time should pass quickly.

Sorry you are having a crap week. Great news about your mum and dad coming up. That we be nice and and make sure you do get spoilt hun. Do you have any plans???

Nayala hun your emotions are bound to be up and down. I know all we want is treatment asap but then the fear of it failing must be felt 100 times more once the ball is rolling. Keep smiling hun and take is one day at a time

£400!!!!!! Thats just silly, feel a little guilty about moaning about the NHS now, I must sound so ungratefull and spoilt bratish And 4 test tubes, did you feel faint afterwards?? I normally feel ill after a normal blood test with 1 or 2 tubes

Hope you feel better soon

 

[Nayla82]

Hi ladies

A quick update got my blood test results back and thank the lord out of the 14 tests done only 1 needed further investigation Prolactin hormone for women should be under 20ng and mine was 121 she said that is very very high and whether milk is coming out of my boobs? and do i get blurry and lose my balance alot? I said nothing at all?? she has given me medicine in hope it will reduce that number, if not an MRI of my brain will be needed to find out why it is so so high? wow i was not expecting at all! it sounded so scary.

On a positive note i got Marvelon Pill to take for the next 21 days than she will give me nasal spray to take x3 a day, than i will be waiting for my next period and on CD3 till egg collection i will be doing the injections My husband said i shouldnt worry too much about the very high hormone result? as if it was really serious she would postpone the ICSI And concentrate on Prolactin treatment? yet she went ahead talking about ICSI and given me the pill (Looks like i have started)

I hope everyone else is doing well xx and do any of you know more about prolactin hormone? Lolley did you have to take that test?

Tink- thank you so much for your kind words xx Yes I got very dizzy when i stood up, and when i saw 4 test tubes of deep red blood I just keep thinking compared to other women doing IVF i got 14 different type of Blood tests which is definitely alot, and im thinking is it just for more money? Oh i dont know anything anymore i truly just want to get it out of the way now.. never thought i would be feeling like this and all i have done is just swallow the 1st pill

love and hugs to all xx

 

[Lolly1985]

Hi Ladies

Sorry I have been awol for few days, internet troubles... Anyways, i'm back!!

Nayla i'm so sorry you have been down and struggling. Its so hard isn't it. I can totally empathise as I was the same. Its suddenly all so real and can hit you like a ton of bricks. I hope you are feeling better now and good that no matter what the outcome you are trying your very best. I'm not sure about the blood test you are talking about. I know that when I went to the IVF clinic they did the standard HIV, Chlamydia, rubella, hormone tests. Don't think I had the one you are talking about. Although before all the ICSI I had known for a long time I had fertility troubles and have had countless blood tests over the years. I do know that at one stage I did have some hormone ones which were indicative of what was happening in my brain. I also had a high level at one stage and needed an MRI, but this was of my ovaries/uterus area. Its all confusing but I like the logic of your DH. If it were a big problem they would be sorting that out first and look at you... on the tabs already. Can't be too serious!

Tinks, not long to wait now, a week monday! hOW ARE YOU HOLDING UP AT THE MOMENT? (Oops, capslock...)

AFM... I am desperately trying to complete my UCAS application form for BA Hons degree. That with new job in 3 weeks and ICSI next month I feel a bit But looking forward to birthday weekend!! Shopping and all you can eat indian this week, then leeds with DP next weekend with concert and hotel thrown in... can't be too bad!

Roll on monday for appointment at hosp, not so much for injection but for start date for round 2, excited yet terrified!

Big hello to annie, gill and any other ladies going through this tough time.

Better get back to doing my personal statement... BORED!! And soooo not what I need on a friday nigh, eugh! Anyways bye for now!!!!



xxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[GillAwaiting]

Hello everyone, sounds like you all had an eventful week! Maaaaan this thing is such a rollercoaster. Up down up down, its like permanent pmt With so many of you at different points in treatment progress, Im losing track. It's so good of you all to share your stories. All these blood tests and injections. We are the icsi pincushions.

Lolly its your birthday on the 6th? Mine is the 8th. Was it you who had DH's birthday round the end of Jan? My DH was the 28th. I know someone on here had similar. Im starting to wonder if there is something in the stars ..

It's been a rough few days with me. DH threw another wobbly out of nowhere. I was at the time! Freaking out and telling me he didnt want children. Oh boy I was ready to throttle him and wanted to shoot my mouth off but kept it stum. It baffles me that men cannot learn some tact and sensitivity. When we eventually calmed down and talked, turns out he was just nervous (prob terrified) and not sure where he was or what he wanted. I wish he would talk to someone about this other than me. He needs to just chat about ivf and make things seem more normal. I've told loads of people about ivf (didnt mention isci or our reasons) and honestly, for me, its starting to just seem more normal and not so abstract. Do you know what I mean? Anyhow what really irritated the bejaysus out of me with DH going baloobas, was, he had to pick our most fertile night to do it. For me it was like our last chance to give it a go naturally, with all the changes we made in the last few months. It was hard kinda saying goodbye to that. It took me a few days to be able to even talk again It's 11 days to apt so hopefully he will get through that in one piece. Honestly they say ivf is testing on a relationship but I had no idea how bad it was going to be.

 

[Tinks85]

Sorry Nayla but I havent heard of that blood test either. They tested for about 6 things with us on Monday, that included HIV, hep c & b, that sort of thing. We are NHS though and I have heard they only the do the basics, not like private. Are you feeling any better? I am sure DH is right and they wpuld not have started you on treatment if it was too serious

It is the unknown for most of us and as Lolly said (vioce of experience ) its normal. I can just about hold it together now so heaven knows what I am going to be like. Take 1 day at a time

Ooooh Lolly, good luck with you degree application you will be busy busy busy Hope you have a fab birthday weekend hun

Gill I am so sorry you having ups and downs with DH I think you are right and it would help for him to talk to someone. The amount of pressure and stress that will be on us its no wonder couples have moments like that. PLus the men dont understand ivf the way we do, we know about everything there is to know about cycles and ov and that, its all white noise to them, is to mine any how lol.

Gill I understand what you mean about it becoming more normal and the more you talk about it the more you hear about other couples going through it. We have been quite open about ICSI and its helped to hear all the success stories.

Did you on any fertile day Gill?? You never know, stranger things have happend

AFM there isnt much news. On my 3rd High day on CBFM and praying I have a normal cycle this time. I am holding up quite well at the minute, this could change at the drop of a hat mind

Have a good weekend everyone.

 

[Lolly1985]

Sorry you have had rough time Gill. It is hard for our blokees to and I think I definately sometimes forget that. I get so wrapped up in me and my body and my problem that I forget that even though i'm the one going through the process, DP has feelings/expectations to. I think, as its my 'problem' as to why we need IVF, that I can't bear to think about the hurt I must be causing DP. He is 30 soon (not until april Gill) and is so ready to be a dad. But saying that he knew I had big fertility issues before we got together (we were friends for years first) and still chose me! I have said before if he wants to be a dad so much to be with someone else (when i'm on a total downer) But he has said that he wants to be a dad to our child. That's it. I'm lucky to have him but relationships definately do suufer throughout this process. Suddenly he isn't my main focus anymore. I know it sounds awful but its true. My god.... hink I went off on one there.... sorry!!! Gill i'm sure your DH must get scared. Its so normal. Your hosp/clinic will offer councilling services. But I know getting men to open up can often be tricky. I hope you are ok.

Hi Tinks, how are you? Up to much this weekend? I'm glad you are feeling ok for now, looooong may that last. Least you are finlly getting somewhere. It'll suddenly all happen fast, we might even have our cycles together???

How are you getting on DR Nayla? How are you feeling at the moment? Better I hope. You are working towards something which could ultimately be so great try and stay positive (I am the worst person to say this but I am changing my mentality for this cycle!) What did FS say about tea??? Been meaning to ask!

Well I have been treated to lovely new clothes for birthday. Out with girls to w.spoons soon, have managed to get DP to let me wear them a day early. He will be pleased as means no wrapping!!!

Have good weekend lovelies!

Lolly xxxxxxx

 

[Tinks85]

I dont think it matters who has the problems, i know this might be easy for me to say as with us it is MF, but we are in it together. It takes 2 and no one else or their babies would be good enough. Dont beat yourself up Lolly, it may be because of your bady that you have to go through IVF but its not your fault, you havent done anything to make it this way

Rant away hun

Going to a 30th tonight but just come home from work about an hour ago and I am shattered

Have a great night at spoons

 

[Reilley]

It's been a rough few days with me. DH threw another wobbly out of nowhere. I was at the time! Freaking out and telling me he didnt want children. Oh boy I was ready to throttle him and wanted to shoot my mouth off but kept it stum. It baffles me that men cannot learn some tact and sensitivity. When we eventually calmed down and talked, turns out he was just nervous (prob terrified) and not sure where he was or what he wanted. I wish he would talk to someone about this other than me. Anyhow what really irritated the bejaysus out of me with DH going baloobas, was, he had to pick our most fertile night to do it. .

Oh Gill I am sorry that you had a rough time. But hey...I know what you mean. DH chooses exact the same nights for stuff like that no matter of he knows it is th night of nights or not!

Hang in there. Mine joined the Men-corner on here, looks like it helps!

 

[Lolly1985]

Ahhhhhhh............. I start DR 3 weeks today!!!! hadn't expected so soon. I'm freaking out, but excited at same time!! have felt sick with nerves all day and haven't eaten anything (except a piece of bday cake ) I had in my head end of march. Nurse said to come back at 7.45 on 28th to start buseralin and I replied 'oh of march', she said 'no, this month'!!

Nayla how are you getting on lovely? Hope you are ok.

Hi Tinks, how are you. Still positive I hope. Thanks you for the kind words. I think I have come to terms about my situation, its just hard to see the person you love struggling becuase of you. But then again it takes two to tango and you never really know what goes on inside the body. DP said first and foremost he wants me. Our family is the total icing on the cake. Pleeeeeeeeeese work this time!!!!!!

Hi to everyone else and hope that you are all well and had a fab weekend

Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Tinks85]

Lolly thats amazing!!!! So soon, is that St Marys???? Do you not have to have birth control for a month then?? I keep getting confused

I am still in a good mood thanks hun. 1 week today and we should be waiting to hear from St Marys I have April time in mind but dont know if that optamistic, even if its just the pill in April I hope things are moving.

You must be soooo nervous but its exciting too

 

[Lolly1985]

They have said I needed to use protection since starting the zolodex and throughout the ICSI. I generally don't ovulate so periods are a rarity for me. Last time they induced one but think this time they don't see the need so that cuts 3 weeks off the waiting time. I am so scared but happy we are finally moving forward at the same time! Eeeeekkkk!!!!! Oh and yes all through St Mary's, was setting off at 7.15 this morning from ours for our appointment! back to the (very!) early mornings!

That is good news, you are so close now! April sounds realistic to me. I am hopeful for you

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Tinks85]

Do you have a long drive to St Marys? We will have a 1.5 - 2 hour drive to get there Will all be worth it

Thats good that you can skip the first 3 weeks of treatment not good obviously for the reason though

I am excited but i think it will feel more real and daunting once we go to St Marys.

I really hope we have some s on this thread real soon

 

[Lolly1985]

That's quite a way to come, but obviously so worth it in our BFP journeys! If there was no traffic we would prob get there in about 50-60 mins. But with traffic its more like 1 hr 20 mins on a good run. When you need the early morning blood tests the journey is ok cos clinic is between 7.30-8.30 and you beat the traffic. But for my injections, arriving at 9 has been a nightmare, bang in the middle of rush hour!! So we set off early today and stopped in manchester for a maccy d's brekkie!! Won't be having them for much longer, last weekend of alcohol/caffine/eating rubbish. Better try and shape up a bit and get back on the vits!!

I hope we do to!! We need this to be our lucky thread!

Dust to us all xxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Tinks85]

That might be the best idea for 9am appointments, set of early and beat the rush.

Good luck on the healthier you hun. I am eating better, exercising and drinking loads of water but still having some junk food. Might be more strict once I know when we will start.

Right, I am off to bed, have an early start in the morning.

I 2nd this to be the lucky thread

 

[Lolly1985]

Thanks!! Can't say i'm bad really but now I have a start date I have all the thoughts whizzing round my head like eating loads of fruit and drinking water like a fish!! Last cycle I was sooooo good and sadly it wasn't our time. So trying a different approach and have felt more relaxed this time and not as strict (still drinking up to this point etc.) But then again had end of march in my head, oops! We are off to Leeds this weekend so last drink will be friday for hopefully at least 9/10 months

Right I agree, bed time, absolutely shattered! Need

Sending you loads of love hun xxxxxxxxxx

 

[fisher14]

Hi
Hope everyone is well, I havent been on here for a while as having a tough time at the moment. Im a nanny so Im constantly surrounded by children, babies and pregnant women and its getting me down. A friend of mine went on maternity leave last wk and had a baby shower at the weekend, I did go along but felt very sad inside and have felt drained ever since. Sorry about moaning but just felt I needed to write it down.

We have our next app next wk on thurs, we will be signing consent forms, sorting out start dates and having the needle teach. Im very excited but also very nervous

I just feel like Im wishing my life away between appointments and its all I think about but Im sure that is normal for all of us.

Gd luck to everyone who is starting soon, Im hoping we will start next month

xx