icsi in 2011?

[Lolly1985]

Evening everyone!!!

Tinks!!! Thats fab news! Its really real now!! You will prob end up starting before me at this rate Really happy for you

Nayla, hope you're getting on ok. I did my injections in my stomache to? Any bruises yet? I think the pen thing sounds better, sounds more controlled. Still can be ouchey though!! Bet you are getting excited for your scan. Its crazy, you'll be pupo in no time!

Bet you are also excited fairy! It won't be long at all to wait! Babydust hun!

Hi everyone else!! Whats everyone got planned for weekend then????

My new job is going well. I was a deputy in a nursery but my new job is in speech and language therapty. Enjoying it but still playing the role of the new girl, forgetting everyones name, having to ask where everything is, getting lost!!! Be glad when it all settles down! And by that point I can turn it all up-side-down again by starting ICSI again!!!

Love to you all, Lolly XXXXXXXXX

 

[Tinks85]

Thanks Lolly, I dont think i will be before you though, I still have a long way to go. We may be at St Marys together though DO you have any idea how long it is likely to be before injection stage? I was thinking maybe June but thats a guess really.

Did or odes anyone elses other half need surgical sperm retreival??? I am hoping this doesnt slow things down. Its not 100% that he will need it but the urologist was farly sure he would.

Feeling a little down today

Lolly your jobs sounds interesting, I hate being the new girls as well you will be settled in no time though.

I am working tomorrow all day but then DH and I are going round to a friends house for a meal and some drinks

Hope everyone has a good weekend

 

[annie25]

hi all sounds like everyone has some progress fab news!!

im feeling pretty down in the dumps my nephew was born sleeping last night and i just feel horrendous right now!

starting nasal spray today seems quite ironic really and remembering it is gonna be a challenge!! im fed up and scared right now

 

[Tinks85]

Oh Annie You and your familly are in my thoughts. I cant even begin to imagine what that feels like.

All I can say is to just try and get through your treatment as best as you can and we are here for you

 

[annie25]

thanks tinks i'll try and cheer up now need to be positive for the treatment!

xxxxx

 

[Tinks85]

You do hun unfortunatly but you are only human.

Is your SiL ok? I mean phsyically, I know she will be a bit of a mess right now

 

[annie25]

yeah i think so she went for a pub lunch on the way home from hospital so i guess if she was uncomfortable she would not have gone. i just wish i could take thier pain away!

funny tho nobody recognises the pain that infertility causes it can have a similar effect xx

 

[fairydust]

Hi Ladies

How are we all doing this morning? Annie i've just read your posts and I cant imagine how awful you all must be feeling. You cant take their pain away but i know you're being a huge help just by being there...thinking of you all xxxx

Nayla, thank you for the reassurances re: headaches. Hoping I dont suffer too bad!

Tinks Im not 100% sure but I think they would do surgical removal of sperm on the same day as EC if that's possible...you may want to check with your clinic to see how its done there. Hopefully it wont slow things down xxx

Well I was over excited about starting treatment and jinxed myself I was all set to start down regging on wednesday next week but have just found out I have a really (like really really) important job interview on the day I am predicted to have Egg Collection. I know dates can change once treatment starts but I had to make a decision to delay it till next month in case it did clash. If I get the job it will provide a lot of job security for me and I cant afford to not go for it....but if I dont get it then I'll be double gutted!

I know another month is not long to wait and now im stressing that the interview may clash with day 21 of my next cycle...praying AF is late this month so it doesnt clash with injection training next month.

Will keep you posted...and continue stalking you lovely ladies xxxx

 

[Tinks85]

No Annie, I think there is still quite a bit of taboo when it comes to infertility. I dont think people understand about it unless they have been through it them selves or know someone close to them going through it.

I know the last few months have been some of the toughest of my life and I cant even put my feelings and thoughts into words. The picture I had of myself in 10 years time realisticly will not be so now That is one thing I feel is misunderstood by some people, for me its not just about getting pregnant once, I have always wanted a massive family. That said I will now be greatfull for one.

Fairydust I really hope that the wait will be worth it. I wish you lots of luck for your interview hun. It must be a let down but fx it will pay off.

 

[Lolly1985]

Afternoon ladies!

Annie I want you to know how sorry I am for you and your family for such a sad loss. It must be so tough, not only on your brother and sis in law but on you to. I imagine it must stir up all sorts of emotions in you. I hiope you can stay strong for your treatemnt and all of this has a happy ending for evryone. Lots of love xxxx

Tinks, poor you stuck at work on a saturday. I hope you are feeling ok hun. I know what you mean, once infertility issues kick in your whole life plan turns upside down. I guess we were niave to think that everything happens at set points and can be planned. Although saying that it can be so frustrating that for so many people it does work this way. I always remember seeing a friend with her baby and I was being all gushy, and she said 'you should have one, its not exactly hard'... Think I kind of let rip then and she felt mortified. It wasn't her fault, I think a lot of people live in blissful ignorance. I also remember telling everyone I would start driving and get a job at 18, get a house at 19-20 and have a baby at 23. Well the fisrt 3 things happened... I hope we all get our gorgeous families one day soon xxxx

Fairy, I'm sorry you have had to delay treatment, although if all goes to plan it could be a very good decision. I know just how hard these cvhoices are and the prospect of more hanging around can be a killer. But you have to do what you have to do and good on you for being so driven. Good luck and xxxx

Gill, have been thinking of you, hope you are ok xxxx

Well I'm just having a bit of a chilled out day. Have been out early to collect my new phone and kinect that came free with it! Hoping to have a bit on a dance on the games later on!! Have done a bit of uni work but soon got bored and found myself here!! That always seems to happen... DP is playing fifa (yawn!) so think I will go and grab a coffee and ring mother! Ooooh its thrilling stuff Love to you all!!! Lolly xxxxxxxxxxx

 

[GillAwaiting]

Hey Annie,
So terribly sorry to hear about your sister. It's the saddest thing in the world, god love them. I bet your heart is breaking for them. I'd like to tell you a little story about some experience I've had. My best buddy, like a sister to me my whole life, had a stillborn baby and I got pregnant very shortly thereafter. I lost sleep, completely stressed myself out with guilt and in the end, I lost that baby. I dont know if the stress and guilt caused it but I really worked myself up and it probably didnt help. She however, went on and got pregnant again 6 mths after her stillborn and had her baby boy 6 weeks ago, perfectly healthy. I know that you are feeling horrendous for your sister and wishing to god there was something, anything you could do to make it better. You have to look after yourself though. Their life will go on and you must look after yours. I know it sounds hard but Im begging you to learn from my experience. Don't feel guilty. You are doing the best that you can do. xxx

It's lovely to hear you guys getting moving on your treatment. Tinks my sister's dh had to have sperm retrieval. She didnt tell me all the details except that it involved a needle and was painful. It worked for them

As for me Im still sitting here not knowing whether Im coming or going and I must admit, I hit a low today. Really starting to wonder if Im cut out for any of this. My acupuncturist, although she meant well, really hit a nerve when speaking to her on the phone. She said if I have this m/c that I shouldn't go ahead and do the icsi. I might have some autoimmune issues or something and need to see what's going on. As you all know and seem like the only ones who understand, this was pretty devastating to hear. Im so frustrated with myself because I cant tell if Im pregnant or not and feel like an idiot. I get bloated in the evening and my bb's are generally sore all the time but go up and down in their pain levels. Exhaustion kicked in today but I dont know if that was just misery kicking in or it was something else. I dread going to the hospital on Wednesday for the scan. Last time I went, the first nurse I met made me feel like such a nuisance and made me wait for hours with all the heavily pregnant woman. If there were anywhere local to get it done privately I'd willingly pay and do it. Seeing as Im pretty sure this is going to end in m/c though I might as well go to the hospital because I will end up back there anyway having the face the music. Im just waiting for the axe to fall and really want it to be over. It would have been better to know 10 days ago. This perpetual shred of hope is killing me.

 

[Tinks85]

Lolly, "Its not that hard" that must have been a horrid situation Its so hard as you feel so mad with people but that dont really mean any harm

Did you get your uni work done?? How did you get on with the kinect?

Gill, thanks for the info, thats really helped You have been in my thoughts hun, have you had any more bleeding? Wednesday is going to be very hard but at least you may get some answers So many mixed emotions I really hope this has a happy ending

Your acupuncturist is out of order, surley they cant give out advice like that?? I am sure the fertility hospitals know best. You have enough to be worrying about with some one else putting more doubt in your mind

I really hope things start looking more possitve with you

As for me I am happier today, I am going out for breakfast then doing a little shopping. This afternoon though DH and I are going to his nephews birthday party, he is 5. So it will be nice to see him enjoying himself

 

[Nayla82]

Hello lovlies.

Annie- im so sorry to hear your sisters loss, they must be going through a very tough time, I hope and pray the lord will bless them again very soon with a healthy baby. I hope your taking care of yourself also, as you need to be strong mentally emotionally and physically throughout this journey.

Tink- hope your well hun, Im sure if there is 1 million sperms in a given sample or even 50,000 there is no need for the sperm retrieval? My husbands 1st count was Zero just nothing in the pot, and they said if it came back like they they must operate on his bits.. after 6 weeks of taking Clomid its gone up to 2.5Million sperms No where near the average count, but the FS said there will be no need to operate for the ICSI, just produce the sample in the pot again? Im sorry if you mentioned your husbands count before and i Have just forgotten? But im sure its over 100,000? Im just saying if your hubby can avoid SR its worth asking them again? they just need a good handful from the sample for ICSI

FairyDust- i always say go with your gut feeling and if you feel you will land your dream job really 1 month is nothing. Back in December i was thinking march is miles away and here we are! Hope you get the Job Hun xx

Lolley= your job sounds like so much Fun! hope your enjoying your new phone! i really want a blackberry, i hope my husband gets it me for my birthday in April! i love updating my phones than i get bored of it.

As for me Ladies i went for a scan this morning its my 6th day of Stimming, i only had 2 follicles on my right ovary and 4 on my left Total 6 the FS said she would have expected a little more on each one. i left the clinic rather deflated and had a good cry when i got in. She did up my dosage and i take 2 injections every morning now. I knew from the start my dosage was very low as she was scared that i would over stimulate, but it looks like i have not really stimulated much at all I have another scan on Thursday and im just hoping and praying that my Follies increase Lolley do you have much knowledge on this? I hear people say that follies grow everyday?? im just gutted after almost 6 days of injections i dont have alot to show for them I read also that most IVF clinics cancel treatment if its just under 5 follies at Egg Collection im happy that im past the 'danger zone' of them cancelling it,, It has to be more than 6! so theres a better chance of getting more eggs The Dr also said if everything is all well on Thursday Saturday will be Egg Collection My focus now is Thursdays scan just for that peace of mind.. would love anything over 10 I guess we will have to see. My husband kept telling me dont sweat about it, they will get eggs one way or another somedays he so confident and other days he a wreck

Emotionally it really does takes it toll, been almost 3 weeks i have been sniffing (down regging) and 6 days of injections, mentally i feel so so fragile anything makes me cry and im just jumpy all the time You mentioned it Tink when we experience infertility all our dreams and wishes just go down the drain. I just feel i will just have this one shot at ICSI and im thinking can i repeat all this again 2 or 3 more time to get the big family i wanted? its so unfair what should be natural and loving like making a baby, has turned into a battle going to appointments paying £100s after £100s with each consultation having almost a heart attack with every scan, and the strain it puts on the marriage is so so tough! really NO ONE will know this pain and struggle unless they live it than i get a friend calling me saying im on number 3 what are you waiting for! Stop being a wimp and start your family, no one knows this pain and struggle. I hate to admit it but it hurts me when i hear close friends and family getting pregnant so so quickly and easily, They dont know how lucky they are! yet i try and put a brave face and say soon soon

I dont know whats wrong with me now??? im on such a downer i can just spend the whole day crying my heart out... i just want to be a mom! i dont want anything else more in this world than just to hold MY BABY. i just feel its already a NO before im even in my 2ww!! the thought of ME having a baby?? is crazy! its like do dogs fly?? its impossible and unheard off! and i just feel its impossible for me to have a baby?? its a fantasy not a reality! Pregnancy happens to others! not me

My husband has invited his friend over later and his wife, they just had a baby boy last month and they want to come over and maybe rub it in my face?? which i doubt! im just going to watch her hold her baby while i need to secretly sneak out of the room and sniff my IVF drug, i will be sat there with bruises in my belly from the injections, yet she will not have a clue? and probably the infamous words 'when are you guys going to start a family' my goodness i sound so nasty and bitter! but im so so hurt at the moment. i feel the whole world is crushing me and i just need a break from it all.

Im so sorry for sounding like this... this is a very very low day for me.. i want this so so so so so badly! im willing to give away everything i own with that gurantee that i will be a mom,

I NEED THIS TO WORK SO SO BADLY

Ok ladies i better sort myself out and prepare finger food for the guests, im hoping i will be better later i just dont know where all that emotion just came from... sorry again.

love to you all x

 

[Lolly1985]

Oh Nayla hun i'm so sorry you are having such a rubbish day. I know only too well the horrible emotions that can go hand in hand with a cycle of ICSI. No one ever said it would be easy but from my experience I didn't ever realise just how tough it would be until you go through it. I remember wanting people to feel the pain I felt just for a minute or two, they just didn't have half a clue and I needed then to feel what I felt, they just didn't know how lucky they were. I got a bit crazy too and its so normal, don't even apologise. All the emotion involved, as well as hormones flooding your body are bound to take effect. Plus you haven't told any one other than your sis and so you are having to work extra hard to put on a normal face and act like its all fine when its not. My heart goes out to you.

As for the follies, time is on your side. They have scanned today so that they now have time to make sure they can turn things around for the better. I'm sure that my FS said that follies grow an average of 2mm per day and that they can collect mature eggs on any over 18mm. You have nearly a week left on a double dose of meds, I am sure that this time in a week you will be sat typing on your computer about a fab EC and fertilisation rate. I had loads of follies at scan, 20+ at egg collection. But a lot were small and some were empty, we got 7, you never can tell what will happen. Its quality not quantity and if you have 6 growing good and strong then that sounds very good to me. Sweetie, I know its hard. Its all so new and what started as a journey filled with excitement can turn to one filled with fear as you continue to wait for sizes, numbers, rates between scans etc. But as everyone continued to tell me, it only takes one. At the time I wanted to scream but now I see its true. There are so many stories on here that prove that.

You are doing so well and please continue to be strong for DH, future embies/babies, but most importantly YOU! You will be a mummy one day. I tell myself that all the time. One way or another we all will.

Much love ladies xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Tinks85]

Nayla hunny I am so sorry to hear you are struggling today. Lolly is right, all this must be normal. The amount of pressure that is on you plus all the drugs is enough to make anyone crazy

Plus I have just read on another forum about a lady that only got 4 follies, they ended up as 3 eggs but only one survived, she is now in the 2ww with one little embie so they must continue with as little as 4 I have faith that Thursday will bring good news now they have increased the meds.

The first SA DH did just said less than 1M but the second was 300,00 I think. The FS was worried about the amount of fluid produced as well, the sample was only 2ml when the average is 10ml. I really hope you are right though, it will one less thing to worry about.

Good luck tonight, I hope you are ok

Love to everyone

 

[annie25]

hi guys thanks for all your lovely messages of support, nnot to worry im trying to concentrate on my treatment now too.

the sprays are taking thier toll i feel thirsty, hot flushes, dizzy and grumpy im not enjoying this so far so it's not looking good for the next 6 weeks of my life!

nayla i totally understand what you were just saying and i feel exactly the same!!


xxxxxx

 

[minty]

Hi Ladies, Can I join you, just been reading throught this thread. we've been ttc for about 18 months and my husband has been referred to a urologist following a low sperm count.My Gp has advised me we'll need ivf, at the moment we're under the NHS but the appt with the urologist is in May which seems ages away, and then I guess we'll be referred for icsi and i guess that'll be a long wait too.

Nayla sorry to hear you're struggling please stay positive, as Lolly said they've scanned today as they have time to turn things around

 

[Nayla82]

Hello Lovlies

Thank you all so so much for your KIND words... I would be so lost without this place.

Im feeling much more relaxed today. Your so correct lolly i need to be much stronger than this for my husband and my potential baby I use to think many women make a huge fuss during IVF and being to girly girly and it cant that bad at all But really it sucks the life out of you.. never did i think i will be feeling this crazy! all i think about 24/7 is treatment and everything is a chore.. I just feel like im dragging myself around where ever i go, and whenever i wake up in the morning i wish its night already so im a day closer to my next appointment I never use to leave the house with out my Face on, now i dont even wear mascara on. It just feels like NOTHING in this whole wide world matters just living my life now for scans and appointments.
Thank you so so much Lolley about that detailed reply about follies, I should relax and know time is still on my side, still got a few days of injections before Thursday and having my drug increased it must make a difference. I just feel like with every information they give to me im clingy for my dear life Thank you again Hun

Tink- Thats great to hear that a women got 3 eggs from 4 follies, its so so true ANYTHING can happen in this Infertility Ride, i just feel im setting myself up with so many expectations e.g i wanted at least 20 follicles before we did EC but after the 1st scan i will be happy with any decent number and quality I should really stop being so hard on myself as its beyond my control now.
Also Hun 300,000 again sounds like a high count to operate on, But definitely worth mentioning is it possible at all to check if he can produce in the sample1st and if they can't get a handful of sperms from that you will go ahead with SR (I hate to say this but i just feel everyone is trying to benefit themselves when ££ is involved, everyone knows that we are willing to pay anything and from personal experience it just seems to be getting more and more expensive as few days ago they tried to sell be another Nasal spray i was like i still have a full bottle the nurse was saying No it wont last. I felt like saying will you pay for it! luckily i didnt get another bottle its so so expensive and i still have a full bottle that will last me till the weekend)

My husband needs to pop in tomorrow and give a Sperm Sample for them to freeze for Saturday. He will also give a fresh sample on the day of egg collection. if god forbids he repeats a Zero sample on Saturday he has the frozen backup and if theres nothing much in that frozen sample i guess SR wil have to be performed on the day. Again I hope and pray it doesn't get that far.

Annie- i hope the side effects die down, it was a bit tough the 1st few days than it got better

Love on hug to everyone else and a huge welcome Minty I hope you get your appointment soon, and you learn so much in this thread! The girls are total angels xx

 

[Lolly1985]

Hey Girls!

Nayla, so glad to hear that you are feeling a little better today. You are very welcome for any advice/info I can give. Just glad I can do my little something to help you through this, just like you have done for us, and everyone else for that matter. You are right, we all are a tough bunch and so are you! No matter how hard it seems you pick yourself up and carry on. Its all we can do and i'm glad we can all support one another. And remember hun, I said to stay strong for hubby and future bubba, but also for you, don't forget that

Minty, welcome. I'm sorry that you have had to join us here. Infertility can be so so soooooo hard. But like Nayla has said, the support on here is invaluable. I hope you don't have to wait too long, God we all know that waiting is the hardest part!

Hi Tinks, hows things? Did you get through your monday ok? Yuk, hating mondays! Is it too soon to be saying roll on the weekend?!! The kinect was good, but my God am I aching!! Think that is defo the plan before next ICSI, get fit!!!

Annie, how are you hun? Hope the symptoms fade soon, it is jyst your body getting used to the meds, hopefully it'll settle. Hope the family is all ok and lots of support for one another at this hard time.

Gill, any more news? I keep thinking of you and continue to hope for the best. You are a brave lady and you deserve this to be your time.

Hello to the other ladies, babydust to one and all!!!

Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Nayla82]

Hi Lovelies hope all is well xx

Thanks again lolley going to live each day as it comes now and go with the flow.. what will be will be and not worth breaking my heart over.

Also im a Little frustrated today. My DH should have given a semen sample today so they can freeze it for weekends egg collection Anyhow this morning at 4am he woke me up saying he had a wet dream (Due to the Clomid hes been taking hes been having wet dreams on and off for the past 7 weeks ) I told him not to worry just do a sample and hand it in.. he said theres no point has he just came and he was certain it will just be an empty test?? and said he cant bare the shock and heartache to hear nothing i Told him its up to him.

It looks like now he will be giving a sample on the day i just hope and pray its just as good as his last one as we dont have a back up plan, and it would have to be SR if he theres nothing in that sample.

Hurry up Thursday for the confirmed date!