icsi in 2011?

[Nayla82]

Hi Lovelies :wave:

The got me full force this Morning! this is my 1st period since I knew there is a problem, Im feeling ok usually I would have a cry in the toilet and question where did I go wrong? Feeling relaxed as we know now there is a REAL problem and hopefully it is getting addressed

Also the thought of when we feel like it is very appealing. For the past 16 Months it always felt like sex was a chore and I use to dread it after a long day at work, and I would cancel dinner parties or guests coming over because WE HAD TO MAKE LOVE that Night some Months we would have sex everynight for 10 days I use to hobble into work lol! (they were the crazy Months that I would make sure were hitting every day of my fertile window ) Injecting myself with pre-seed, peeing on OPKS I DONT MISS AT ALL Ironically its nice to relax knowing in a few months something will happen either way

Annie- thats excellent news bringing it 3 weeks forward! from my experience with Appointments its usually cancelled or delayed! Good going and surely has to be a good sign! (Also Annie is that your cat? its gorgeous! I have a black and white cat called Mia so so loving, the minute she sleeps on my lap im stuck seems to be her favourite sleeping place lol she seems to be the thing that keeps me smiling these days)

I have read the first for chapters its EXCELLENT and you know what really IVF isnt that bad (so she says) Title is 'The complete guide to IVF' Katie Brian. She also has a book the complete guide to women fertility, and she has 2 kids both with IVF, so she does know what shes talking about

I was so naive before I used to think IVF was for women that hit their 40s than had a last minute change of heart and wanted kids This experience really opened my eyes as we are all in our 20s and early 30s, I definitely learnt not sterotype any more.

Its crazy im feeling so happy and alive! the lead up to my period im such a sloth dragging myself around and the seconds she arrives im all hyper, even hoovered the house before i went to work

Looking forward for tomorrow husbands back! Im a big wimp when im home alone I sleep with lamp on and leave all the lights on in the house. Crime watch freaks me out..

Ok will catch you all later I really cant wait till we all get our BFP one by one, and imagine we all move to the 1st trimester together

Love and hugs to you all

 

[Tinks85]

GillAwaiting good to hear from you, I also love this thread. Why have all our cycles gone crazy??? I am putting some of it down to stress

It doesnt seem fair that we have to get dumped at the deep end with ICSI. One day we are naturally TTC and the next waiting for ICSI. At least it might mean we get a quicker. I dont know

Glad AF showed Nayla. I have had a few AFs since the dreaded results and it does get easier to see AF. Mine is still not playing

I have also felt a lot less pressured with TTC but then Hubby seems to be more interested in timing and stuff now we have been told we have no chance lol. Before everything to do with TTC just went over his head. I think he thought it would just happen when the time was right. Timed didnt really have a major impact on us, it did get a bit stressfull now and then but we balanced it quite well. Soooooo dont miss pre seed and soft cups. I am still using my CBFM though. I like to know whats going on. Not that it helped this month

Might have to check out that book Nayla. It is strange when you are in bed and you know you are alone in the house, if i dod it on a regular basis I would not be watching crime watch hehe. I am the biggest wuss going.

We have 4 cats, they are sooooooo cute when they are asleep. Can be a nightmare sometimes mind.

I have been calling the hospital all morning and got no reply

Have a good day everyone.

 

[GillAwaiting]

Hey guys, I just have to talk to someone. Had row with hubby this evening. We were making apt with acupuncturist and when we get off the phone he says he doesnt want to the do the icsi, he wants to wait and see if living healthy does anything for us. I wanted to scream. We are healthy, both of taking the correct vitamins for months (in my case its running into years), I dont smoke or drink, he gave up drinking and has maybe one cigarette a day, not overweight, get exercise, eat tons of fruit and veg and fish and all the other right stuff. Im not sure what else he really wants us to do

Was he at the same consultant apt I was at? The specialist told us straight out that there was nothing we could do to bring his numbers up to normal. She repeated it for him a few times and answered all his questions. And I know she isnt trying to push treatment on us because she wrote to my dr before we saw her and suggested we wait longer before going for tests (thank god I didnt listen) and she is also an acupuncturist on the side. So if she says icsi is the only thing that will help us, I believe her.

If that wasnt bad enough I drove over to my friends house who I havent seen in a while because of bad weather etc etc and didnt want to cancel on her and while she plays with her 18 mth old girl, tells me she is 3 mths pregnant. And her sister is also 3 mths pregnant, they are due the same week.

My three best buddies, one had her second baby in October, the other is due her baby in a week and now No.3 is also expecting her second baby. And my DH wants to wait for some miracle from the sky to help us, meanwhile my FSH is already a bit too high and he has such a low sperm count.

Im sorry guys, it's been a bad evening. I just needed to tell someone and I know you guys will understand. Hopefully things will be better tomorrow.

 

[Tinks85]

Gill

I feel upset just reading your post hun. Assisted conception is a rollercoster ride as it is. Is it the money that is putting DH off???

Have you managed to speak more about it?

I know its even harder when everyone else around you seems to be falling pregnant when ever they want but keep remembering thats not the case and you are not alone. This thread wouldn't exist if the was. Does you friend know you are TTC? It is so hard hun, I hope you are ok

AFM - still awol

Off work today though as its DH birthday

 

[GillAwaiting]

Thanks Tinks85. Would you believe it my DH birthday today too! Weird.

We had more cross words last night and I went to bed. Didnt want to say anything this morning as it was his birthday but I feel so miserable now. At work and can't concentrate on anything else. It's not a money thing. We dont have a whole lot of it but we got loan approval and we can afford to pay it back without starving. If push came to shove my parents have offered to help. I really feel that one conversation with the acupuncturist set this off. He thought it was going to work miracles. I think she will help with motility and help my body get a bit more right but the consultant was very honest with us and said she didnt think that it would work to bring numbers up so radically. Uh I dont know. I thought we were on the same page and now we're not. A few extra months might not seem like a long time for him but for me it's an eternity. Every day feels like a week and every week feels like a month.

Thanks for listening folks. I'd be going insane if it werent for this thread.

 

[Nayla82]

Huge Hugs Gill Hope your feeling a little better.

I truly believe its just the stress of it all, and with Men they usually think if you ignore the situation it might just still Happen... My period came yesterday and my husband even told me I thought you might have been pregnant as you were late and even though they just found 2 weak sperms I still have a sperm and you never know?? He was deadly serious as well. ( I still believe he thinks it will just happen, the way it has with his friends and family breaks my heart for him).

Especially with men they feel like they have let us down? and the whispers about infertility will usually be on us women that have the problems and plus he doesnt want a soul to know so we just really have each other.

Touch wood our fights have died down since we heard about his results. My goodness I used to think we would have a divorce got so nasty at times, doors slamming, him questioning does he want a nutter to mother his kids him sleeping on the sofa etc etc him actually making me believe that I was Mad! (The fights were all linked with him refusing to do the semen analysis, If he did it 12Months ago who knows we would be well into our treatment by now ) I just feel deep down the guilt is crushing him.. when i use to got 2 fat lines on my OPK I would be so happy!! I would be spending so much of MY money on pre-seed, and have my legs behind my head after sex for what seemed like hours!! He saw that i put 100% into it, and now hes gone a little sheepish but i NEVER blame him, I just keep saying it will be fine.

Gill my husband can be amazing 1 day and all for it, than the next he might go ape, im so scared the closer we get to ICSI he will just say forget it! im trying to avoid the conversation, even though im so so scared of injections, drugs, ICSI not working etc etc. My husband would say its not worth it hun, dont want to see you in pain. Im trying to be superwomen by saying bring it on! I dont mind how big the needle is, as long as it will help me to have a baby bring it on also! But deep deep down I have never been this scared in my whole life! Again this site is a god send where we can have a good chit chat and type away our fears. The minute my husband knows that im having a panic attack about the whole thing he will not hesitate to say wait another year or so, i dont want that

My best friend has invited me to her sons 3rd Birthday tomorrow, I just called her and said I have to pick family up from the airport Honestly ladies since I have been TTC I have been to so many parties/baby showers, I really cant bring myself to sit there and watch all the other mothers chatting away and chasing their little ones,, and im sat there twiddling my thumbs,, its so heart breaking being there. Than you always get the new face asking do i have kids, and oh dont worry you will have one soon Now that its been CONFIRMED by the Drs that we HAVE PROBLEMS and my husbands almost sterile, I really cant be around parties, babies, Not just yet as its still rather Raw, A Month next week, wow seems like forever since we heard the news

I was reading my book last night than half way through it i just broke down in tears and it REALLY hit me! IM HAVING IVF/ICSI its such a long treatment and even everything can go well with the egg and sperm, it just takes a careless hand to ruin it all. (ICSI PEOPLE have an extra 2 year training) I just hope our clinic will look after us, im getting paranoid theres so much waiting around, and the lab people say its very hard to ring a couple and say that it didnt fertilise? Wow again breath innnnnn breath outttttt

Sorry just having a panic attack, I need to get this idea out of my head that its 100% certain that it will happen first time, just easier to set myself up for failure before it happens, that way less pain

I think once I see you lovely real ladies getting their BFP im sure i will be much more relaxed and happier cant wait till we start typing down the exact date of treatment!

Hope you all have a great weekend! love and hugs to us all xx

 

[Reilley]

Gill + Nayla: Hey girls hang in there!

It is a long hard and rocky road.
Here the fighting reduced itself but I too had moments during the last couple of month when I thought....one more fight and someone can bring me in a mental hospital. It is sooo emotional.

Let hang in there and be there for eachother!

 

[annie25]

nayla - yes thats my furry baby i love him sooo much!!!

gill im so sorry your having such a tough time with DH i sometimes think men dont understand ttc properly and think they know better big hugs to you!!!

ttc is crap when it doesnt happen and u have to spend time with other mummies wishing you were the same but it doesnt happen , my sil is preg with her second im so so happy for them but wish it was us too.

thinks are on the up here this week we had a tough 2010 when we sold up then lost it all at the last mo so we took house off market few months ago and recieved a random call from agents this week asking if we'd accept a viewing subsequently weve sold today when we wernt even on the market! strange how things work out got to go house shopping now!!

so it looks like ivf and a house move at the same time!! my relatives said dont worry we'll help you so hopefully we'll cope and u know what they say new house new baby! maybe this is a good omen, i hope so anyway


xxx

 

[Tinks85]

Gill, thats fab news about the house. It may be a lot to do all at the same time but the move might take your mind of things for a little while.

I know what you mean about days feeling like weeks. When I heard that our referral had not been sent I got really worked up but then when I thought about it it is only 2 weeks. I jsut doesnt feel like it, feels a lot worse

Nayla If you need to cancel thens thats upto you. You will nees time to come to terms with things and get your head around it, if we ever can Just look at other mums and think that that will be you some day

I try my best not to think about mistakes, hospital end. I scares me to death

Still no witch and to make things more confusing I got a possitive opk last night????? Did a opk as I had loads of EWCM, WTF??? Whats my body upto???

Well off to work, will drop in later. Have a good Sunday

 

[Reilley]

Well af is here! The previous month I was sad about it, but right now I am just mad....actually furious. Does that make any sense???


This is a stupid question, I know but how do you know when it is CD 1???? Usually I have a discharge of old blood before af with fresh blood arrives. Therefore I am wondering is CD 1 the day when the fresh blood arrives or earlier with the browny discarge (sorry to be so graphic!!)

 

[fisher14]

Hello

Im getting excited as we have our appointment on thursday! We have been waiting for 2 months cant believe its here already.
Do you know if we will get dates for our treatment at our first appointment?
Im so nervous aswell though as its going to be happening soon.
Hope you are all well
xx

 

[Tinks85]

I do know what you mean Reiley, I dont really get sad as such now when AF comes, just peed off and its a right pain in the bum

Reiley I think cd1 is when you get a full flow. So if you have just got like discharge then it will be tomorrow, I think.

Fisher, how exciting I really hope you get to start your treatment soon. I will be interested to know what happens at the first appointments also.

Feeling a bit fed up at tonight. I think I am just tired

 

[annie25]

fisher my next appt is thurs too exciting!!!

i dont get upset at af but i do get peed off with af pains!!!!

xxx

 

[fisher14]

Annie
What is happening at your app on thurs? What happened at your first app?
Im sooo excited
X

 

[annie25]

i will be going through in depth sa results as at last appt we agreed to extra test to see if iui was possible (highly unlikely) so then we should be signing consent for icsi on thursday x

 

[fisher14]

Good luck Annie on Thurs x

 

[Nayla82]

Hi ladies

Wow Fisher and Annie!! Im so so excited for you girls! Please do update us with every itsy bitsy teeny weeny details! Will Just calm our nerves when our appointment comes Really hope you girls get the ball rolling for us.

Tinks85- Wow your period is really misbehaving, I would give it another 1 week hun and just pop into the drs, maybe they will say stress? Oh i would so love for it to be a Miracle Pregnancy for you .. (Sorry maybe that comment didnt help Never say Never is what my Mother always taught me as little girl) In regards to taking a break from it all I just feel that im on a rollercoster and I just dont want to get off till its fully finished I feel that we have come so far and used so much energy in the TTC area, just want to end this chapter in my life with a huge full stop. Getting very very exhausted though with it all

I also feel my Husband is reacting badly with the Clomid hes been on them for 10days now and hes having very bad palpitations almost to the point where it looks like hes having an attack sleeping is almost impossible for him, and yesterday he woke up at 5am from a wet dream! I just heard him yell NO WAY!! i have known my husband for 7 years and NEVER has this happened (Im trying to NOT mention Clomid, maybe im being a selfish cow as I want him to continue taking them ) I will give it another few weeks than maybe suggest to him to chat to the Urologist?

I feel also hes deeply hurt with the whole thing and its sinking in that he has almost NO SPERMS and we need intervention? hes a Manly Man, he has that mentality that a man looks after the women and protects her from harm like a lion does.. I just feel with this news its stripped him away from his 'manly man' way of thinking. I hate it so much when he keeps saying you might as well be a man in this marriage, My Balls are just for show im just like a hairy women! I thought it will be 1 month on the 14th Jan he will be dealing with it a little better but honestly I just see him walking around with his head down I mentioned earlier I dare to tell him that im so scared about ICSI to him as he has his own deep rooted issues.

Last night he took a sleeping pill (which i really didnt want him to take) and was knocked out for 13hours straight! even this morning it was a problem trying to get him out of bed! (I read online any form of sleeping pills. anti depression pills can cause problems to sperms..)

Oh I just hope ICSI will be so easy, They get my eggs there great they inject some sperms and hey bobs your uncle I have twins a boy and a girl

Sorry ladies Rant Over! before I use to obsess about how to get pregnant naturally now my obsession has turned to ICSI statistics etc etc

Have a lovely day ladies xx better dash x

 

[GillAwaiting]

Hello ladies,
It's been great hearing all your updates. All these appointments this week, do come back and tell everyone how it went. We're all rooting for ye! It certainly seems like some of us are going through the wars, if its not then it's DH's throwing spanners in the works. Thank you all for sharing. It's so good to know that Im not alone and bonkers.

Things got worse for me before they got better. Big blazing row with DH who then decided he was having a 'bad day' when he told me he didnt want to go through with icsi. I could have murdered him. 'Bad day' I said, 'I've had a bad year!' (had m/c end of April last). Anyhoo, we've calmed down now and and he is all set for the isci again. He did tell me that he was feeling less of a man about the whole thing which I can understand. It must be very hard for him to come to terms with. However, when he said I didnt understand how it felt to be the one with the problem, I had to disagree. No doubt its the same for all you ladies here, I felt that there was something wrong with me all this time. First the m/c and then taking vitamin B6 and then onto soy, I tried everything that could be done to change up the hormones and get things operational. I was so sure that I had a problem and had been feeling so guilty all this time. DH is off to see the acupuncturist this evening and even though I have been talking to her myself, she makes me nervous. I got the distinct impression from her that she thought we should wait another 6 mths for the treatment. Call my cynical, but why wouldn't she say that if she is going to get paid all that time? I think sometimes men are a bit more gullible and naturally they want to be 'fixed'. I calmly explained to DH that I would prefer to take the advice of a fertility specialist with 20 years experience who is mental busy, doesnt need more clients and also does acupunture rather than a young woman who just does acupuncture and might be vying for some customers. I think he agreed with me. Said he did. 36 days to go to second SA and consultant apt to decide on the options. Our appt is Feb 15th. When are your dates? It's very interesting to see how different specialists deal with it.

This thread is a blessing.

 

[wannabmum]

Hi girls ,
First of Good luck to all you girls I hope 2011 is all our lucky year.Hope you don't mind me joining you? We will be having ICSI at some point this year let me first better explain our journey.

We started ttc in Nov 04 then finally managed to get our fertility tests carried out in 07 turns out DH has obstructive azoospermia, we were getting married in June 08 so decided to do our first cycle of ICSI privately with egg share on my first cycle after the wedding this unfortunately ended in a BFN, We then had our NHS funded cycle in 2009 this time I also done acupuncture prior to treatment this cycle resulted in a BFP which ended in mc at 4+6. We the tooka break to get myself together before trying again as I felt I had to get myself mentally strong again but in the mean time my sister found out she was preg (not planned and she had 3 children) she at that point said she didn't want another child and if it wasn't for her knowing our situation she wouldn't have told anyone she had been preg however if DH and I were willing to adopt the wee one she would continue with the preg we accepted and were over the moon the wee man was born on 26th Aug 2010 I was there at his birth and he came straight home with DH & I 6 hours later words cannot express how happy & complete we finally felt however this was short lived on sept 14 after 9pm at night the police arrived at our door accusing us of kidnap & took the wee man back to my sister & his bio dad(who is a heavy drinker, takes drugs & has charges for indecent exposure assaulting police officer etc etc in short not a safe or stable person) this was the most trumatic thing to ever happen to us we never even got the chance to say a proper good bye to the little one. from that point up to the 4th of OCT I never heard anymore from my sister , I was scared to call my sister as we had been accused of what we had by the police I was very aware of the fact if I did there would be a record of me calling but not what was said, anyway on the 4th I got a call from her to ask me to come collect all her kids as they did not feel safe in the house the social work then placed a place of safety order so they could not get removed, the girls are now back with my sister the wee one is still with DH & I as my sister says she want him to be with us she is no longer with his dad but he is also trying to get him at the moment we do not know what the future holds there will be a childrens hearing on the week of the 24th of jan where we will most probably find out if he is going to be ripped away from us again.

Anyway the outcome will determine when we try again if we lose him again obviously I will need to just see when we feel ready to try again, if he is still with us we would like to try for a sibling for him around July.

I apologize for the rambled state of my post.

xxxx

 

[Tinks85]

Good luck on thursday girls.

Welcome wannabmum. My heart was breaking for you reading your post you are just living a nightmare. I really hope you get your happy anding soon You will get plenty of support on here until then

Nayla, my DH is the same. He is really manly too. He looks manly as well, 6.3 broad shoulders, stubble, that kinda thing so it has left a dent in his ego We had a little fight earlier today over still waiting for the referral letter to go. He thinks I am over reacting and dramatising things When we had cooled off and talked it boils down to the fact that he can not and will not ever beleive he can not father a child naturally and we haven't tried long enough to give him a proper chance, we have been trying for almost a year and a half. I did ask him if he was at the same appointment as me lol. He sees it as the specialist has written him off and he has failed himself and me Anyway after much reasurance he seems better. I wish there was more I could do for him So down down today but hope tomorrow will be an up.

Gill I am soooo glad you are back on track hun and I am sure the 15th will come around in no time. We are already nearly half way through Jan. We dont have a date yet.

I called the hospital again and after 3 weeks the specailist has still not looked at DH bloods or sent a letter to the fertility clinic. I am fuming

Looks like I have only just ov'd so I am in for a very long cycle at least i know what is going on, well sort off

Hope everyone is having a better day then me