icsi in 2011?

[Lolly1985]

Tinks Sorry you are struggling. Its hugely hard and lack of sleep just adds to how shot your nerves are. An early night sounds the best plan. Maybe some warn milk to help you settle That takes me back to being a kid and always seems to comfort me. Thank you so much for the PMA, I hope you can find some too. Don't worry about agonising about when to test etc etc, it doesn't matter. Just when it feels right for you. It will probably be one morning, you will wake up and just go for it

Welcome Katie. Yep, we all certainly have lots of insight Seems a lot of us have eaten, slept and breathed icsi!! Some of us have had success but heartbreakingly lost their angels, others have sadly had failure and are undergoing further tests/treatments, some have waited for this for forever. We all have different stories to tell, but I am sure that anyone here would be glad to answer any questions you may have

Hi to everyone else, Gill, Annie, T4B (how did the interview go?!!) and Nayla!!

It odd, I don't feel pupo I know I obviously can't feel anything, but mntally its not real yet. Why can't I get my head around this Its my graduation tomorrow, hopefully be a nice day and take my mind off things for a few hours!! I feel terrible for DP, he is so scared Keep asking him if he is feeling ok, somethings wrong there....

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[annie25]

hi all,

lolly another pupo princess and twin embies so exciting! you guys are lucky they do ultrasound guided transfer my last clinic didnt i am not sure about the last one.
i'm glad all went so well but sorry your other embies didnt make it hun however out of my 12 i had none to freeze last time either xxx

tinks and gill i hope the tww is treating you both well time is ticking on sounds as though all is well! xxxx

nayla hun im so pleased with the progress your making i know when we were pming a few weeks back were so different and it sounds as thought every day you get a little bit stronger when you do start again you can do it knowing that we are right behind you!

welcome katie this thread is fab for advice and support although many of us have had unsucessful treatments or angels until now here but thats all going to change i just know it! any questions tho? we might be able to answer some xx there is a icsi success thread somewhere xxx

afm, well i had my scan at the new clinic today and i will be starting stimms tomorrow and going back on monday! i was proud of myself for going through it because the moment i saw the ultrasound picture on the wall i nearly buckled then and there it made me feel sick to the stomach brought back such bad memories i had not even thought that i would feel like that! all i could see was the empty jagged sac again in my head and the sonographer uttering those words i was so frightened of hearing. i dont actually know how i can face all these scans if thats what im going to see in my head everytime!
i also drove all the way back from wales to near bath where i live which im also proud of as i dont drive often! but for now bring on the stimms! x

 

[annie25]

lol lolly i just post the same as u but ur post showed up after i typed it spooky same thoughts! xxx

 

[Nayla82]

Congrats Lolly on being PUPO Enjoy your rest as much as possible xx try not too worry too much about the other Embies... Most importantly you have 2 healthy ones in you... Focus all your energy and thought into them... Sounds like Transfer went well! (honestly i find the transfer the worse, too much fiddiling and messing around...) But it all goes through the window when the Embies are put in... So exciting!!

Tinks- Not long left for you hun.. cant believe how fast time has flown.. Your in my prayers xx

Annie- Stimming already! wow again its all going super fast for you lovlies xx sorry for your bad experience during the US.. the memories do flood back.. but hopefully this is the winner and no more nasty scans...
Also thanks for your kind words.. Yeah a few weeks ago i was in a dark dark place that i just couldnt get out of... and frankly im sick of being sick and down... This is the situation im in.. Its a little shitty... but hey life doesnt stop for no one.. so i have to keep going... everyones support means so much to me xx

T4B and Gill- Hope you girls are doing great...Gill regarding twins i dream about twins 24/7 that would be my ultimate dream come true.. but at this stage of my life i will be happy with anything...

Welcome Katie- if your scroll back into this thread You see highs lows.. tears and laughter its been a long journey for each and every one of us.. its a very cosy thread in here.. and many of us have been with each other from the start... In regards to a 5DT NOTHING ever goes to plan with IVF the days and dates keep changing... You just have to have an open mind and 'go with the flow' My story isnt very good... We found out last Year that my husband has very very low sperms border line ZERO, and the only way we can have babies is with IVF... long story short in March and June did FRESH IVFS both Negative... Doctor has NO reasons why its a no and told me keep trying.. its a luck game in her eyes... I pray your journey is much quicker than mine, You will feel at home in here Ask away if you have more questions..

AFM I went for my 2nd Therapy today she taught me how to be in control of situations. we did a few role plays etc etc.. but she did say something to me that Hurt me a little.. she asked me 'do i want to be a mother so i feel i am needed?' or do i want to be a mother...? I said to her i want a baby to love and to care for and to complete me?? she said that i come across needy and controlling? and maybe i want a baby to control and so its needy on me I told her If i didnt want to be a mother so badly why am i going through treatment after treatment?? i said every women wants to be a mom! its a natural URGE... Than she says thats not always case i know many couples without kids that live a lovely life... (thats when i thought even she does not get me!) I think she knew she hit a sensitive spot and we moved on...

I told my husband about what she said.. and he said shes a Doctor maybe she had a point?? So i yelled at him and said if i just want a baby so i feel like im NEEDED!! I will fill my house with cats and dogs if i want to be needed... I told him 2 sessions is enough and im done with her... He told me he has seen a big change in me and wants me to do at least 1 more... I told him I will just to show him im making changes... Maybe im being too sensitive ladies? who knows... in her room she has 3 beautiful children in a frame.. (again i think as shes has not been on this rollercoaster that I am going through she does not understand this rush that runs through my body day in and out to be a mom??) my homework this week is to do a vision board and not too much emphasis on Babies... I think I will cut out every beautiful baby there is in all the Magazines I have.. and just cover my vision board I will be lying to her otherwise.. Thats all I want is a Family....

I think I have waffled on.. Also im back to work next week feeling much better and re-freshed.. and I have missed the money ALOT..

Enjoy your evenings ladies x
fingers and toes for you all in your 2ww xxxxxx

 

[Tinks85]

Welcome Katie - Good luck with your cycle. Aslk away in here, its a lovely thread Will you be doing short or long protocol? We opted out of a 5dt as we only had 3 embies but I have heard good things about 5dt, its just a little risky with low numbers IMO.

Lolly - How did your graduation go hun? I am sure you will feel more like you are in the 2ww once your OTD gets closer. Bless your DP, he sounds so sweet. I think we can forget sometimes how hard it must be for them

Annie - You poor thing, it must have been so hard going for that scan You need loads of PMA for your stimming today Well done for the drive also.

Nayla - I dont think that would have gone down well at all with me either and I would not be keen on going back but your DH does have a point I guess. I more session cant hurt.

I really do not feel possitive about this cycle at all. I am not trying to just be negative but I really do have a strong feeling. I think I have prepared myself as much as I can for a BFN and hopefully I will be able to cope. I feel like I will be able to at the minute. Obviously I will be devasted but at least I can focus on our frosties.

Lolly - Do you know how long St Marys make you wait before starting afresh or FET??? Just wonder, just encase

 

[GillAwaiting]

Nayla, just read your post about your session and tbh I got a bit annoyed myself. OMG I would have wanted to slap that lady!! Controlling and needy. She obviously has no idea what it's like to not be able to have a baby the good old fashioned way and when you want to. Wanting to have a baby and love it, doesn't make you needy because if that's the case then we are all needy here on baby and bump and so are all the other women out there who are struggling to procreate and as for controlling, sure aren't we all desperately trying to control our bodies and future to no avail. Personally I think having a baby means giving up control actually. You give up your body, time, home, everything. You handled it well and fair play to you for that. You have great restraint. I don't think men really understand womens natural biological drive to have and nurture a baby. Rightly or wrongly, I would have gone off the deep end at my DH if he had agreed with her too. All I can say Nayla is that we understand. We understand what you want and where it comes from and how it shapes your life. Only those who walk the walk can truly understand and the rest just don't get it. Sorry for ranting a bit, I really feel your irritation.

Tinks, Im in the same boat babe. That feeling that it hasn't worked. Oh yeah. It was the same last month with TSI. All i can say is the last time I got pregnant, it was completely unexpected like I've said before. We had literally signed up the forms for ICSI and I had no clue, nothing weird going on to give any indication, no signs. I know what you mean about preparing yourself. Everyone on this thread has had so much disappointment, we must have toughened up considerably since starting our journeys. I bet when we get through all this and come out the other side, there are a lot of things in life that just won't bother us so much anymore because it all just gets put in perspective. Fingers crossed. You are not out of the running yet. When are you going to test?

Lolly, congrats on your graduation. You must be a brainy girl!! Hope you pass on those genes

 

[Tinks85]

Morning all

Well I caved this morning and tested. I am 9pt3dt (around 12dpo). I am sorry to say its a BFN I am devastated but it is what I had expected. I just hope we can have another shot asap. The worst bit is that I cant even call the clinic for a follow up appointment for 8 days and I have to still use these pesseries so they will delay AF. I just want it over with. I wanted this to work so so bad

 

[GillAwaiting]

Morning all

Well I caved this morning and tested. I am 9pt3dt (around 12dpo). I am sorry to say its a BFN I am devastated but it is what I had expected. I just hope we can have another shot asap. The worst bit is that I cant even call the clinic for a follow up appointment for 8 days and I have to still use these pesseries so they will delay AF. I just want it over with. I wanted this to work so so bad

Aw Tinks, Im so sorry it didn't work out. God love ye, it's shockin' hard. Might it still be a bit early to test? Lolly would be more up on when is the best testing time after ICSI. On saying that though, I tested at 12 dpo last cycle and knew it really was negative. About the progesterone, you could stop it a day or two early if you retest in a few days just to be sure and be 'ready to go' at your next appointment then. I did that. Worked out perfect timing. Every day can feel like a week, so nice to cut it short. Good news you have some frozon embies waiting for you. Keep going girl. You throw enough mud, something's gotta stick.

 

[Nayla82]

Oh Tinks I just pray that the HCG is being Released into your body at a slow pace.. and maybe just maybe in another 48 hours there might be a surge... SoMEWomen get a postive much later than others... I so hope you tested a little early keeping taking your meds till you know for sure... If its a confirmed no, You will have your frosties put back before you know it Stay strong xxxxx

Gill you hit the nail on the head it did cross my mind for a split second what she said about is it me being needy or do i really want a baby?? than again she has never felt any of our pain... It means so much to know that you girls are honest in admitting that you also feel the same sometimes I feel like a crazy women, that believes life is nothing without a baby! Im sure we will all have a chuckle one day in the near future...

Hope the rest of you ladies are doing well x be kind to yourselves xx

I dont know what came over me I spent £80 in Peacocks... Who spends that much money in Peacocks... I was told at my last session that i did well and i should buy myself a treat... so what ever i found that fitted I bought... than i found a dress in Asda for £14 and I bought that also ... My goodness almost £100 on Clothes... I think I will return a few back... I have never spent so much in one go and I DONT have that kind of money to play with... Than on the way back I was Bruno Mars was playing on my IPOD "I wana be a billionaire so friggin bad buy all of the things i never had" People say money does not bring happiness but it certainly helps.. Im looking at bags thinking where Can i hind them

Take care lovlies... Tink your in my Prayers xx

 

[Lolly1985]

Oh Tinks hun i'm so sorry I don't want to give you false hope, but at the same time it is still really early so there is definately still a chance for you. In answer to your previous question I think St Marys make you wait 3 cycles before FET. But lets pray that it doesn't come to that just yet Thinking of you so much

Nayla, I think Gill put it great in regard to your therapists views. I think she may have realised she's put her foot in it. If you are needy then so is every woman in the world who plans a child Does that mean she is even more so as she has 3 It doesn't make sense But how can anyone possibly understand unless they are here walking in our shoes. No one has the right to judge, and while people may have opinions they should keep them to themselves

Gill, how is 2ww going for you? Hope that all your dreams come true this time lovely

Annie i'm so sorry that the ultrasound brought up hard memories, I can't imagine how that must have felt. You are doing amazingly well and yay for stimms When are you back now then? Oh, and good for you with the drive

Well i'm having some slight toilet trouble if you get my drift Think it must be the progesterone!! Not the comfiest right now Graduation was good but tired come the end. I didn't fall (biggest fear ) although my hat did fall off when my tutors hugged me

Love to you all, Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[trying4babies]

Hey girls sorry not been online my internet is down so using my phone. Read a few comments and so much I sans chat about. To awkward with d phone should b back on d 24th and I can get updated wit everyone x x x x oh had a grill nite out sat and heading out to celebrate my bday dis wkend to . . .take care . Miss yas

 

[Tinks85]

Thanks for the support girls, another BFN this morning. I am gutted, it is just not fare

Nayla - Sounds like deserve a bit of a treat hun and what a succesfull shopping trip

Lolly - I am glad your graduation went well. Sorry to hear about you "toilet trouble". I have heard a few girls have the same issue. I found it a little difficult for a few days but nothing major. I hope it clears soon How are you feeling?

Hi T4B and Gill and Annie

I could understand them making you wait 3 cycles for a fresh cycle with all the drugs. Having to wait that long will make the blow harder So does that mean that I have this bleed and then we can start the cycle after my 2nd natural period?

I think I am going to start taking some conception vits like wellwomen, DH has wellman already but I never bothered as there has never been any pronlems my end Of course I have folic acid though.

 

[Lolly1985]

Tinks lovely, i am so so sorry that you have had the heartache all over again this morning. Its horrible too as you cant just ring and get it over with as they make us wait so bloody long for otd. I just wanted to say dont take the 3 cycles as gospel. This was what i was told but was a long long time ago. They did say it was for your body to recover and for all the drugs to be out of your system, but things keep changing so much and everyone is so different. You could always ring and just act like its a general enquirey? Or just tell them you tested early and while will ring again on otd you want to know the facts and be prepared. Might put your mind at rest?

Better go as at work but felt i needed to send you my love. Hi to everyone, Lolly x x x x x x

 

[GillAwaiting]

Hi Everyone, just dropping by to say hello today. :wave: 6dpo/iui today. Dunno what's what at all, all. Bit like you Tinks, I just want the time to pass now and get on with it all, move along to the next try. I'll test at 13 dpo. Won't be able to last longer than that. Between the steroids and the progesterone Im bloated all over and eating like a horse , peeing all night, getting no sleep, dry skin, and my nipples have been sore since the trigger shot (so I know it's not pregnancy related). On estrogen this time around too so maybe that's doing something. Oh and I've also turned into a moany cow - see all of the above!!!!! It's like 2 week of PMSing

The crinone is nasty stuff. It's leaving me all dry and uncomfortable. Anyone else find that? What progesterone were you guys on? Will defo be looking to get back on cyclogest for next cycle. the leakages are worse but I'd rather all the remnants come out rather than stay in, if you know what I mean. From taking bbt's I've noticed a difference in the crinone and cyclogest there too. Cyclogest temps went up, stayed up at constant level but these ones have gone up and down.

Back to work...

 

[annie25]

hi all god this thread moves fast!

lolly hugs to you i posted already on your thread but you know i am thinking of you.

nayla i would have gone mental if the coucillor said that to me arent they suppose to help not make you worse?! idiots!!! were all needy then bacause we all want a baby! she can sod off!!!!

lolly congrats on the graduation that must have been fantastic i was worried about the falllign over thing too ha ha xxx hope you are keeping sane in the tww.

gill the cyclogest caused me major boob pain so i was never a fan of it but i have nothing else to compare it to. hope you are also keeping well in the tww.

hi t4b and anyone i have missed! xxxx

afm, im pooped cant keep my eyes open and feeling rotten my jabs hurt more everyday too but im keeping positive and sure it will be worth it xx back at the clinic on monday to see how my follies are doing strange tho i had acupuncture after my injections tonight and i swear i could feel a sull ache from my ovaries so bizzare! xxxx

 

[fisher14]

Hi everybody
I have been stalking you all and its gd that everyone is moving forward on their bfp journey.
Tinks im so sorry that you got a bfn maybe it is to early to test..fingers crossed.

Afm im on day 3 of gonal f im feeling fine at the moment just bit tired. Got another scan on tues so hoping for lots of follicles. Im also doing accupuncture which i have never done before.

Hope everyone is ok.......im so glad its friday

 

[GillAwaiting]

Did any of you do Tamoxifen pills with the Gonal F? It seems to be standard for Sims but I have no idea why. You do 5 days of them. Just wondering aloud...

Did acupuncture last night. Back on that bandwagon. I still don't know if I believe in any of that stuff but if nothing else, Im feeling a bit more positive today. 8dpo. The 2 ww sucks!!! Lolly how you getting on? What day is your appointment Tinks? Since I can think of nothing else accept babies and food (due to steriods) I've decided to run with it completely. Back to back tv episodes of chopped, masterchef, come dine with me.... and when Im not watching - Im belting away in the kitchen. Anything to distract and make the time go by quicker!! Will defo look like a beached whale before a pregnancy even happens

 

[Lolly1985]

Hi everyone!

Tinks How are you hun? Have been thinking of you. Understand if its too difficult to post at the moment

Gill, no I didn't take those pills, so afraid I can't help Sorry you are having nasty side effects, wow, I thought the cyclogest bullets were bad enough! You seem to have everything thown at you, so lets hope the suffereing is all worth it Glad the acupuncture helped with the PMA. If nothing else that is definately something to be thankful for.

Annie, how are you getting on? Hope the feelings in your ovaries means lots of juicy follicles Good luck with your scan on tuesday. have you got someone to go with as it was so hard for you last time?

Good luck fisher! Nice to see you back

Hi Nayla, T4B Hope you ladies are well!

AFM... well I don't know to be honest. Plodding on. Not thinking too much but then of course aware that I am in 2ww all the time. Had some pain thurs/fri but that will no doubt be the fact that I have been having some toilet troubles Indigestion today but prob ate too quick. Am tired but was up early So really I have no symptoms to speak of To be perfectly honest, and this will sound terrible, I am just lasting out the last couple of days until the bleeding starts (I know this is terrible PMA but after the exact same pattern last 2 cycles how can I not feel this way ) I feel quite numb to be honest and scarily calm, I am waiting for it all to hit me. This is so hard and if its not worked I want it over asap as the thought that I have to suffer a horrible af before I can begin to move on with my life is killing me. Sigh. Of course if it has worked but right now I am around 5% optimistic. Ahhhh, someone shoot me

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[annie25]

hi all,

fisher i think you are at the same point as me hun im now on day 5 of stims but im on half a dose more than last time so im hoping things will move along a little quicker im provisionally booked in for egg collection on 31st oct x im glad to see you back here xx

lolly try to keep that chin up hunni if it's any consolation apart from a few aches and pains i didnt have any sign of a bfp coming last time other than two lines on the stick! but i also understand preparing yourself for a bfn im always trying to do that. hugs hun i really hope this is it for you xxx

gill sorry i cant help with the drugs but i understand the need for baking lol! all i do is eat at the mo it's getting ridiculous! x

lolly hun are you doing ok? how was the party? thinking of you.

hi t4b and nayla i hope you are both well xxxx

monday is scan day cant wait to see whats happening ive had loads of pains today eeekkk!
xxxx

 

[fisher14]

Hi Annie yes think we are at the same point my egg collection is 2nd nov so we will be on 2ww together! My dose of the gonal f is a little bit more than last time.
hope everyone is having a gd saturday