icsi in 2011?

[Lolly1985]

Hello Ladies

Annie, how did the scan go?!! Lots of lovely follies? Fingers crossed!!

Gill, how is it going? This 2ww lark is sooo hard!

Nayla, hi hun! Have you been back to the therapist at all? Hope you are ok

T4B, hope that your internet is back soon, we miss you!

Fisher, hope your stims are going well. have you had a scan yet?

Tinks, thinking of you

AFM... struggling ladies Judging from last 2 cycles today is the day I would start spotting, really early and a week to the day both times. Nothing as yet but been frantically knicker checking on each toilet trip, its driving me insane I had debated giving up drink so no toilet trips I just don't know what to think as I have AF pains for the last 2 days so its like i'm due to start any minute. At first I thought it was all in my head but defo not so i'm scared. If its not worked I would just like to know so I can move on. Terrified to believe that no spotting is a good sign as I just don't want false hope and for it to hurt even more. Eugh, I wish I could just test already so I know. Have woken up last 2 nights and when going toilet have had a real pull in that area like a pulled muscle, its strange. But may well be twisting weidly But no sore boobs or anything, they pretty much stopped straight after EC. I still think that even if no bleeding today it is bound to start tomorrow I really didn't think I would be so nervous but its so hard just waiting, and having fear all the time.

Love to you all, Lolly xxxxxxxx

 

[GillAwaiting]

Hello Ladies

Annie, how did the scan go?!! Lots of lovely follies? Fingers crossed!!

Gill, how is it going? This 2ww lark is sooo hard!

Nayla, hi hun! Have you been back to the therapist at all? Hope you are ok

T4B, hope that your internet is back soon, we miss you!

Fisher, hope your stims are going well. have you had a scan yet?

Tinks, thinking of you

AFM... struggling ladies Judging from last 2 cycles today is the day I would start spotting, really early and a week to the day both times. Nothing as yet but been frantically knicker checking on each toilet trip, its driving me insane I had debated giving up drink so no toilet trips I just don't know what to think as I have AF pains for the last 2 days so its like i'm due to start any minute. At first I thought it was all in my head but defo not so i'm scared. If its not worked I would just like to know so I can move on. Terrified to believe that no spotting is a good sign as I just don't want false hope and for it to hurt even more. Eugh, I wish I could just test already so I know. Have woken up last 2 nights and when going toilet have had a real pull in that area like a pulled muscle, its strange. But may well be twisting weidly But no sore boobs or anything, they pretty much stopped straight after EC. I still think that even if no bleeding today it is bound to start tomorrow I really didn't think I would be so nervous but its so hard just waiting, and having fear all the time.

Love to you all, Lolly xxxxxxxx

Ah Lolly, Im right there with you. Cracking up Im at 10 dpo today and caved and did an early test after work. Negative. I know its early but it was driving me insane. I'll test again at 12 dpo and maybe at 15 dpo. Then its off the progesterone so I will have my period bang on in or around next Tuesday to get new prescription and away again. Must admit feeling quite miserable about the whole thing today. We gotta face the prospect of emptying our funds for the next cycle and it's scary. All the drugs Im on all of the time, the acupuncture, everything and still no go and even if it did work, I'd have to go back on the anti anxiety meds to get through 3 mths anyway after the 2 m/c's. Somedays you just really feel like giving up. I hark back to the adoption plan which at least is well underway and the adoption authority are busy checking out our referees and fertility clinics etc. Maybe that is our only way and perhaps we need to give more time to accepting it.

Hope everyone else is doing ok on the stims and getting things underway. Chime in here and let us know how you are doing. We stressed out miseries want to hear from the upside peeps. Good job we are not all at the same point on this godawful trip!!

Tinks, how you doing?

 

[annie25]

hi all,

lolly all is not lost i felt like that on the last cycle and had a bfp so it aint over til the fat lady sings! keep that chin up!!!

gill naughty testing so early lol ( you can remind me i said that in a few weeks) you also have to tey and keep some hope but i cetainly get your thoughts on the costs im rapidly saving for the next cycle!

afm scan went well i have 7 follies on each side about 10 mm apart from one at 15 lol so all is looking good so far another scan on friday so fingers crossed to be booked in for egg collection on monday eeekkkk! xxxx

 

[Lolly1985]

Gill, i'm sorry you got a negative, but its super early so hold onto that hope lovely I'm really sorry you are so down, it just plain sucks all this. It must be so scary thinking of all the moeny you would be paying out if you do have to go for icsi, but you are doing this for your dream, and you must always try and do all you can. You can at least take comfort in the fact you are doing everything to make this work and I pray that it will get you your dream. I still 100% believe it will As for the adoption plan, I know it isn't your dream, but it must be a good feeling that thats ticking along nicely while you go down this path. Over here we are not allowed to register for adoption during active treatment, and then if you do you have to have been treatment free for at least 6 months so that you are mentally strong enough to start that journey. So if this cycle fails we will be well into next year before I can even make that call. I have been thinking of you and really hope that you have just tested too soon

Annie, great follie count, congrats, you must be happy and relieved. Oooh lets hope you get a Halloween EC How are you feeling? Bloated and sore yet? Take care lovely.

Well I'm still going mad ladies!! No bleeding as yet so I can now say that this is the furthest along I have ever got. But I really don't want to get false confidence from it. I am still knicker checking madly The af pains have mostly gone although did get quite a bad pain about an hour ago, but do believe it may be because I am still having a teeny bit of toilet trouble Ok ladies this is a TMI alert but was after your thoughts... I notice last night when I put my bullet in (I have been alternating between front and back front at night so I can lie down, back in the morning as I need to get on!) that I was quite swollen inside. I didn't really think to much of it as a lot has been going on down there recently!! This morning it was still quite swollen, the front wall mostly. Now checking its really bad, no pain or anything but really tight and I think I may struggle putting the cyclogest in later. I wasn't too worried but then DP said he was and now I suddenly am I've never had this before, what do you think? Could it be like an infection???

Thanks my lovely B'n'B buddies, Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[GillAwaiting]

Well Lolly did you have any luck on info? One of the ivf nurses might be some help to you. I was wracking my brains all night trying to think what's going on for you. I did have some swelling on and off and now that you say it, it was more on cyclogest than on this god-awful crinone stuff. I hope things have improved for you. Don't worry it't never TMI for anyone here. Sure we're all used to discussing our finest moments with the doctors and nurses and having half the world look at our bits. I tend to forget even to pull cutrains these days when Im stripping down. My DH almost had a stroke the last day he was there with me

I did another test today at 12 dpo. No go. So defo gearing up for next Tuesday and starting stims for ICSI. When are you testing?

How's everyone else these days? Are ye all blown up like big balloons with loads of lovely follies cooking away?

Had a crap day at work yesterday, surprise unplanned pregnancies, pictures of newborns, you know the story. It doesn't mix well wtih Crinone PMS. Im fit to murder someone or something but just don't know what. I've told them at work if they get anymore irritating people on the phone today to put them on to me and I'll sort em out! And if one more person mentions Christmas I'll explode!!!!AAARRRGGGHHH.

 

[Nayla82]

Hi Lovlies

Tinks your in my prayers, in regards to FET im sure you can start ASAP, as when i failed my first try in March she said we will start in April.. this is a fresh cycle were talking about.. in the end due to a cyst we started in May... hope you can start soon xoxoxoxox

Lolly- wow sounds very promising... i would be so happy if i was you.. this is the longest you have gone.. hopefully that bit longer and your BFP dont think it will never happen.. im telling you hun THIS IS YOUR TURN hang in there as long as you can before you test!

Gill- sorry lovely ICSI is a breath away hoping that starts soon for you... sorry about work.. it seems like were the 1st ones to know peoples news i know what you mean by killing a few people that step on your toes! just feel some women get a kick announcing their pregnancies to women that dont have kids... your pregnant im happy for you! now get out of my face! yet they go on about every detail the whole 9 Months Im sure we will be 'that women' one day

Annie- what beautiful numbers EC on Halloween you should be very pleased with yourself! again its gone super duper fast xx Cant wait to hear your BFP

Fisher- im so glad your giving it another try and you have Annie with you xxxxx again all my wishes

T4B and everyone else hope your all doing well xoxoxo

AFM im back to work everyone is lovely.. everyone thinks i just had a melt down and was run down no one at work knows this journey... I prefer it like that as words spread like wild fire every one knows everyones business.... with infertility i prefer playing my cards close to my chest... dont want that 'pity' look, I should be open an accept that were in the shits but again dont want to be 'that women...'

Had my Therapy also this week she was teaching me anchors when i feel like im not in control I should touch my Anchor which is the back of my wrist... I should be kinder to myself.. and we played a game in which she lay cards on the floor one said past present and future.... and told me stand on it and explain my visions.. it was interesting.. She also told me when did you have the URGE that you wanted to be a mom... what was my turning point? i told i always loved babies and always dreamt what would mine look like after marriage it clicked that a family would be perfect timing... and ALL my married friends had children and moved on yet here i still was

i always feel better after my chat with her... Yet again she said something that ruffled my feathers a little Please tell me ladies or am i again too senstive she told me a lady who was much older than me and yearned for a child and she said 'this lady wanted a baby so badly and im sure she wanted a baby much more than you want one' I felt like saying if you can just look into my heart and mind im at breaking point as i want this so so so badly..... but for her to say some else wanted it more than you makes me feel she does not get me?? anyway long story short she got pregnant naturally after 14 years of trying... because she gave up on the idea.. admitted defeat and moved forward than bang! she got pregnant... she told me try not to think about it as much... easier said than done and we have a 3rd IVF we want to start soon... our lives revolves around treatments... tests... scans.. forums.. etc etc

I told her thank you for past few weeks of sessions due to £ issues I will stop for now but during stimming and after EC I Will try and see her than to calm me a little

Look after yourselves xoxoxo

 

[Lolly1985]

hi ladies!

Gill im sorry its a probable no, especially when you have to deal with all that crap at work its so hard, but glad you have your plan going forward and also great no DR, god, you will be in the 2ww again before you know it

Nayla, so glad to hear you are back at work, well done you! i totally agree with not wantin the pity looks, that was my reason for not telling work. As for the therapist im glad you feel better for talking to her but in the same breath agree you have a right to be upset by what she said. Who is she to judge how much you or anyone else wants this im sure that is totally unprofessional not to mention insensitive!

Well 9dp3dt or 12dpo today. Crampy today and keep thinking af is coming i know this can be a good sign but thats what i tell others, its not working when i tell myself still really swollen down there but havent really had any answers from google. Strangely i down want to ring my nurses, dont know why still so scared each day that this will be the day i know its over. But fighting on. This better not be a cruel joke, sigh x x x x x x x x x x

 

[GillAwaiting]

Oh Lolly, its looking and sounding good. Cramping, swelling.. your nerves must be completely frazzled. How are you staying sane at all? When did they tell you to test? You girls all have waaaay more will power than I have. Please stay on here and keep us posted. My nerves are shot for you!!

Nayla, I swear that woman!! She sounds like she is as good therapist but she knows nothing about the longing to have a baby. I would think that on a scale of 1 - 10 ANY woman doing treatment like this is at an 11!!! And age won't matter. I want it so much now at 33. Will I want it more at 43? Its not possible to want it more. And I just hate all these dogooders who stick their oars in with a story about a woman who gave up and then bang got pregnant. I know too many people that slogged away at treatment and got pregnant and sometimes it just takes a good slog. Oh man, I gotta get off this Crinone ASAP before I blow a gasket. It might be time to give in and have a glass of wine and eat a ton of cheese and to hell with it!

 

[Lolly1985]

Here here gill!!! Agree with all youve said! I love the whole 'dont stress and it will happen' approach! yes it can but thats why we hear about these stories, because they are so rare

So now you'll laugh, otd is a week tomorrow so more like a 3ww and its not willpower stopping me but sheer terror, dont even have any tests in the house. Taking each day as it comes and if the blood stays away, please god, i will think of a plan... x x x x x x x

 

[annie25]

hi all,

lolly if you cant find anything i really think you should speak to the nurse at the clinic just to check that is ok? three week wait what are your clinic playing at?! thats madness!

nayla im glad that you are back and work and picking up life as normal seriously if i ever met your therapist i would like to say a few things to her!!!

tinks hun are you ok? im thinking of you xxxx

gill , i'm sorry it was a bfn but i like your positivity in movinf forward into your icsi cycle. i seem to have alot of those baby and pregnancy annoucements too i hate it when it happens i actually think im struggling to be happy for people that have had no hardship in thier lives and always get what they want.

hi t4b are you ok?

afm, im fed up with this all now i just want these follies out and the embies back in! every step i take hurts sitting down hurts even going to the loo hurts! wish i could fast forward to monday right now!
i need to stop working now it's so tough working in a hospital and doing this as moving patients about and being on my feet all day when im so tired and sore is so difficult but im trying to get through to friday! cant wait to see how the follies are doing hopefully they are cooked he he xxx

 

[Tinks85]

Hi girls, its just a fleeting visit from me for now. I know you girls have been through so much more than just one failed cycle but I am struggling a little

Gill - I am so sorry about another BFN, I really hope it is too soon. It could well be, I did enough googling on that subject

Lolly - Any news??? Praying you dont see red I feel your pain on St Mary's joke of a 3ww

Annie - Not long now, 14 follies is ace I hope you manage ok until Monday, it does so uncomfortable

Nayla - I really dont like your therapist, she is making me mad How dare she sugest anyone wants a baby more than you!!!!!

Well AFM - I tested like I was told this monring but no shocker its a BFN as I have been bleeding since Saturday and its bright red. The nurse was lovely and said they will arrange a follow up appintment and send it to us in the post. I have to wait for 3 bleeds before having FET and they do it with drugs. I was under the impression it was done just on a natural cycle but oh well, more needles As I said before I am not brilliant at the minute but I am coping, I just want this bleed to be over. I have had a constant reminded that it has not worked every toilet trip since saturday

Can I ask you ladies how bad withdraw bleeds normally are???? Should I prepare myself?

 

[Lolly1985]

Oh Tinks hun I'm so sorry Don't even think about what others have been through, this is about you and of course it hurts like hell You have done an amazing thing coming on here and thinking of us and I don't know if I could be that brave. Take all the time you need sweetie If you have been bleeding since saturday I would think the worst is over to be honest. My AFs after treatment were very heavy but then after 3 days became like a normal flow, so hope you are through the worst. I totally understand what you mean, its horrible enough that it didn't work, but to then have to deal with the reminder is just cruel Does this bleed count as one then or is it 3 natural ones? As for FET, I thought that it was natural too Boo to more meds Will they put twinnies back as it is FET? So glad you got some frostie babies, but of course so sad that this cycle hasn't worked. All my love, thinking of you

Annie, sorry to hear you are in pain now, nearly there!!! It must be so hard with your job though, you are doing really well,hang in there and when it hurts keep thinking its because you have loads of lovely follies

Gill, how are you getting on? Have been thinking of you, hoping that you are kept busy with work and are feeling as ok as can be expected. Its so horrible all this

Nayla, how is work hun? Bet you are getting tired, but hope you are enjoying being back and everyone continues to be lovely to you, you deserve it

AFM... still unsure what happening but still not blood so by far the furthest I have ever ever got. Really don't want to let my mind get carried away though and get crushed Cramping on and off still. Generally a dull achey feeling, but occassional strong ones with a 'wet feeling' down there. Freak and this its AF, but is always a teeny bit of EWCM, so strange Rang hosp about the swelling as had googled all last night and couldn't come up with much other than a lady who said it was a swollen uterus pushing through the vaginal walls Anyway nurse wasn't worried but at same time didn't really know why Just said to call back if it starts to hurt or gets worse Other than that not much to report, boobs are not in the slightest bit sore No sicky feelings A bit off my food but only becuase I don't fancy it, surely thats the wrong way round. Not really bloated either. Gosh, I just don't know whether to be optimistic or not. Really self protecting at the moment in case all this is a crazy joke. And too scared to test

Love to you all, Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Tinks85]

Thank you Lolly, The bleeding is fairly light to medium at the minute, I was expected a very heavy flow. It has been more painfull today though. I hoope you are right and it dosen't last much longer This bleed is counted as bleed 1 so I have to wait for next AF and then the one following that I can call to request treatment, as long as we have had our cons appointment. They are just sending it in the post so I hope we get it qucikly. Has your taken long in the past???? I was hoping they would give me one then and there

Well it is looking up Lolly, I know you have to sty guarded but I think it is an achievement to have made it this far I hope the swelling does go down. It is a strange one. Anything different has to be good though

 

[Lolly1985]

I hope that it continues to stay that way tinks its hard enough without the physical pain

So you will be looking at FET january time. I hope that the time between now and then helps to heal. How is hubby holding up hun?

Thank you for the pma lovely, taking it one day at a time! x x x x x x x x

 

[annie25]

hi girls,

tinks im so so sorry and like lolly said this is about you and i can only imagine how you are feeling right now xxx

lolly those feelings sounds so similar to pre my bfp the wet feeling etc! i have
everything crossed for you!! xxx

im still ouch ouch ouch but tmrw morning i get to see my follies again so that is all good xxx

 

[fisher14]

Tinks im so sorry you gota bfn it really is rubbish

Annie how did ur scan go?

Lolly hope you are not going to crazy on ur 2 ww

Afm i had another scan this morning and i have 11 gd size follicles so consultant seemed pleased and ec is stiil on for wed
Hopefully the follicles will keep growing over the wkend got another scan on monday.

Hope everyone else is doing well

Xx

 

[annie25]

hi all

fisher fab news egg collection on weds! wooo!!! xxxx

i had my scan this morning i have about 25 follies in total and clinc have requested me in for collection on tuesday! cant wait! xxx

 

[fisher14]

Annie wow 25 is really gd you should get some lovely eggs on tues

 

[annie25]

thanks fisher some of the follies wont be big enough though but the nurse looked and said no wonder your sore lol! so were gonna be tww buddies! so glad this week is getting closer! xxxx

 

[fisher14]

I know i cant wait for next wk. Im a little sore and uncomfortable so cant imagine how you feel. Ive got a few extra follies that are a bit smaller not sure if they will be big enough by wed though. Have you got any more scans before ec?
Will be nice to be on 2ww together we can drive ourselves crazy with the symptom spotting lol
Have you got much time off? Ive taken the whole 2ww wait off work this time just so i can relax