I'm in a tricky situation..

[nadia511]

Hey hun just checking up to see how you are doing .

I'm still doing good, thank you!! Not much has changed or progressed yet, but I'm definitely making my way up there. Symptoms are still pretty mild which I definitely cannot complain about. Overall, I'm feeling great.

 

[Andi86]

Just caught up on all this. Hope your feeling good. Curious if you've told the father yet?

 

[DaisyDreamer]

Hope you are well

 

[rapunzel87]

Just read your story now. Just wanted to drop in with some support! Glad to hear that you have been keeping well. Nurturing a lil one inside you is so beautiful & exciting! You made a mature & admirable decision, wishing you a healthy remainder of pregnancy! Also, hopefully the father of the baby reacts well to the news Let us know what happens!

 

[nadia511]

Hi!
Thank you all, I'm still feeling pretty good on the whole!
I had my scan, it was amazing, so surreal. The baby is healthy and doing well.

As for the father, it's a difficult one. I've told him, he knows it all and to be honest, I think it went pretty well considering. The only thing is, we haven't told his girlfriend yet. I'm still really small, so none of my friends have really noticed much of a change with me and don't know about my pregnancy. We are making plans to tell her, we just don't know what to do or say.

Thanks again for all of the support.

 

[DaisyDreamer]

Great update glad scan was good

 

[Kiwiberry]

I'm so happy to hear everything went well at your first scan! I'm also glad to hear that you told the father and that he seems to be taking it pretty well. I have no advice about the girlfriend issue but I bet you both are really excited.

 

[skyesmom]

Glad all is going well! and congrats on how maturely you acted on this, with telling your parents, getting a proper healthcare and telling the father! kudos for this!

As for the girlfriend issue, the less you wait the better. like this she is staying with him and bonding to him more and more, and the more you wait the harder it will be on everybody. plus, if they're having sex too then you know, there's a chance that they also end up like you and him. NOT a good scenario, right?

don't expect not to hurt her nor expect her to be understanding or to stay your friend and his girlfriend after all. anyone would be hurt and pissed in her situation.

if I were you i would face her in person, if possible both of you together. at some neutral place where she or you both can leave anytime. if you can't do it like that, then i would write a letter together with the FOB and give it to her. texts, phone calls, whatsapp and especially RUMORS... are the worst and defo a no go. don't forget to apologize and don't try to make excuses and justify your act.

good luck with that. it is one of those uncomfortable "ugly" things you need to go through in this journey... but the sooner you get it over with, the better. when your baby comes it will all become much less relevant and much less of a torture than it is now. with this, i don't mean to say that sleeping with your best friend's boyfriend and getting pregnant was a smart thing to do, but as you said yourself, you live and you learn, also from not such smart moves and mistakes, right?

 

[DaisyDreamer]

As for the girlfriend issue, the less you wait the better. like this she is staying with him and bonding to him more and more, and the more you wait the harder it will be on everybody. plus, if they're having sex too then you know, there's a chance that they also end up like you and him. NOT a good scenario, right?

don't expect not to hurt her nor expect her to be understanding or to stay your friend and his girlfriend after all. anyone would be hurt and pissed in her situation.

if I were you i would face her in person, if possible both of you together. at some neutral place where she or you both can leave anytime. if you can't do it like that, then i would write a letter together with the FOB and give it to her. texts, phone calls, whatsapp and especially RUMORS... are the worst and defo a no go. don't forget to apologize and don't try to make excuses and justify your act.

good luck with that. it is one of those uncomfortable "ugly" things you need to go through in this journey... but the sooner you get it over with, the better. when your baby comes it will all become much less relevant and much less of a torture than it is now. with this, i don't mean to say that sleeping with your best friend's boyfriend and getting pregnant was a smart thing to do, but as you said yourself, you live and you learn, also from not such smart moves and mistakes, right?

WSS, skyesmom always gives great advice, she's a cool lady!

I agree, don't forget to apologize and don't fall into defending yourself. She may get angry and lash out at you and you will most likely want to fight back, but just understand she is feeling a lot of emotions and doesn't know how to deal with it. Keep telling her you are sorry, we are all here now and you hope the two of you can move forward

 

[nadia511]

All of these messages have definitely helped and I appreciate the time you're taking to help me. Thank you.

 

[Kiwiberry]

All of these messages have definitely helped and I appreciate the time you're taking to help me. Thank you.

How far along are you now hun?

 

[nadia511]

I'm in my third month

 

[Kiwiberry]

That's amazing! How are you feeling mama? I would imagine that pretty soon you're going to have your first ultrasound and get to see your little peanut wiggling all over the place. It really is a magical experience that you will never forget.

 

[nadia511]

I'm still doing really good to be honest! I think I'm quite lucky as far as pregnancy symptoms go. And I've actually had my first scan! It was amazing. I can't wait for my next one.

 

[DaisyDreamer]

Sorry if I missed it but did you end up talking to your friend?

Any pics of the scan? Glad you are feeling so well. How far along are you now?

 

[nadia511]

I'm around about 15 weeks now, so entering the second trimester; scary.

I do have scan pictures, but I'm currently in the city visiting family to tell them about my situation and they were the one thing I was supposed to remember. Oops, haha. When I get home, I'll try and get something posted for you all.

So, yeah, I've told my dad's side of the family. They were all very shocked, obviously, but all very supportive and interested. I'm going to be catching up with some really old friends whilst I'm here, God only knows what they're going to think. Then, I'll be tackling my moms side of the family in a couple weeks.

As for people at home, nobody knows. Finishing school for summer means I've barely seen anyone at all now, and my bump is still quite small and easily covered so luckily nothing has been spotted. I know they're all going to find out eventually, but they're at the bottom of my priorities and I'd rather the father's girlfriend found out from us than some random. Yes, that means she still does not know. I know it's getting late, but he and I have not been able to prepare in the right way.

Mine and the father's relationship I can't even put a label on. We've barely spoken. I think to myself "Why would we?" even though this is a serious situation, and the baby is obviously the reason why we would talk. I just don't know what kind of relationship we're supposed to have. I feel like even adults would struggle in this scenario to.

In a couple weeks, I'll be going home for a scan testing for genetic problems and all of that, which I'm kind of nervous about. But once it's over and hopefully everything is okay with the baby, it will be a reassurance.

Wow, this is long. I hope I haven't rambled too much.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

Dont feel like you have to tell people yet. I haven't xx

 

[nadia511]

I feel like the sooner I get it out to my family the better, I don't want to hurt their feelings any more by keeping it for so long. And as for the particular friend, I'm going to start calling her S, I think she's pretty much got every right to know.

 

[Andi86]

Your friend should know what happened. She is probably going to be really angry as it is but both of you keeping it from her will only make it worse. Especially if she is still with the father of your baby. He shouldn't be leading her on like that. She has a right to know he cheated on her and the longer she's with him she may have stronger feelings for him and the more hurt she will be by it when she finds out. I suggest you guys tell her before she finds out through someone else.

 

[nadia511]

I know what I should do, and what the right thing to do is. I want to tell her, I want to get it out I really do, but I just can't bring myself to do it. I have no idea what to even say. I don't want to mess it up and cause more unessecary harm. Although, I guess that's what leaving it even longer is doing. I'm just so conflicted.