Despite what I have done, he's still my (ex) friend's ex.
Just one tiny correction to this phrase: it is not something that YOU ALONE have done, it was HIS DECISION TOO. It was his as much as it was yours, none the less!! And the fact that it happened again, uhm... kinda confirms he's got a thing for you.
Also, ending up sleeping together again is not a bad way to "break the ice" and may get the things a bit more relaxed between you before you start talking, so i totally get how your first attempt to have a serious conversation ended up like that. (soooo many "grown ups" have that exact thing happen when having a first big serious post-break-up talk with their ex after being apart for a while, so whoever dares to judge a teen for doing sth like this, check your own agenda first
)
anyway - the things are starting to move slowly after being frozen by not telling your friend what is going on - which is good. And i am sure your situation will evolve over the upcoming weeks. It sounds like it took him some time to fully take in what has happened and he is starting to deal with the consequences. I am also sure he will come to telling his parents soon. he's just a teenage boy, and a situation like this would be equally if not more uncomfortable to a 30-year-old man (just imagine a full grown man having unprotected sex with his gf's friend and getting her pregnant - and well then needing to let his gf know, let his family know, let the whole world around him know, knowing he'd be judged A LOT and dealing with a possibility of an upcoming fatherhood, family and possibly a new relationship too... no wonder it is taking your FOB some time to sort out his own thoughts).
The fact that you're half way through doesn't mean you already need to have your mind fully made up on things, ESPECIALLY on adoption - it is SUCH a hard decision to make at any age, and it can completely change at the moment of birth. So feeling bad for not knowing already with crystal clarity what you want to do with your baby, yourself and your life at around 22 weeks is well... totally unnecessary.
It is not like you or him are completely ignoring the thing and pretending nothing is happening. you are dealing with it at your own pace. and you're both trying your current best.
What made it even harder to make up your mind about things and know what he thinks of the whole situation is the fact that there was hardly any contact or communication between you until now (and not telling your friend delayed the whole thing).
So maybe spending some time together and generally talking more could be a good way to start getting to know each other better and gradually seeing how the things could work and what could work and what not.
I honestly think that with an issue this complex, an answer can't be found within one only "ok, let's sit down and talk and find all the answers to all the questions" kinda thing.
He sure needs to let his parents know, but i somehow have a feeling that he will and that he is now on his way to dealing with everything better.
And equally, you should let your family know who the father is. I think your parents won't judge you, not now when the things are already so far along. The initial shock is long gone for them and if they're excited about a new baby coming to the family, i really don't think this is gonna change the way they feel about their grand child. (and probably, they are thinking about way worse options than your friend's ex... like a high school teacher, a drug addict, a rapist, a grown married man, who knows what. they'd probably be relieved if they knew.)
take care of yourself, you are on a good way here.
.On that note, I'm sorry that I wasn't around the past few days. I'm going to go against what is being said and more or less suggest that you not acknowledge that you and the ex recently had sex. You are carrying his baby, and that needs to be the focus. Maybe telling him there will be no sex until you two talk could also get things opening up.
