is/was your LO a really bad sleeper? support and advise thread!

[firefly15]

Kosh and ellebelle, I feel your pain I thought that maybe, just maybe we might be getting somewhere after having a few nights where LO only woke 3 times. This week however, has been utterly horrific and I feel like I'm at the end of my tether with what to do next. Every night is a different version of bad at the moment, but because they're do totally random I just feel at a complete loss as to what to do next. If I could come up with any vague consistencies I could maybe come up with a plan but there is NOTHING that seems to correlate with the sleep. To add to the stress this week LO is also refusing point blank to eat anything at all and wants to nurse constantly. In the entire week he has eaten only a handful of raspberries, a couple of bites of banana and a few spoonfuls of yoghurt. That's it. For the entire week. His eating is always bad but this is a whole new level of rubbish.

 

[Claireyb1]

I am having just the most awful week! LO's sleep is just dreadful!!!!
It is really taking its toll on me. What on earth do I do??? just makes me question everything I am doing/have done. I really need to her sleep right now as I have my Mum to look after too.

 

[lisa1980]

Hey Ladies!! (it's awfully quiet in here...hope you're all ok)

Firefly and all those having a crappy time - I hope things have improved. Re the food refusal, my LO has done this before and it seemed to be about his teeth (as is everything!). He's still being a fusspot with his meals and downing milk like it's going out of fashion but I'm hoping it'll pass on its own.

I'm a bit relucatnt to post this now as I know you're all having it really rough, but we've had actual miracles at our house. I can't believe the improvement, it's been so dramatic. He was waking only once at night since I sorted his naps out and last night he sttn (because it's dark in the mornings now, when I heard him i assumed it was the motn and sleepily brought him into my bed just as my alarm went off).

I've no idea if it's down to capping his naps per se or if he's just reached this stage on his own...I'm not sure I fully believe that his naps were making THAT much of a difference but I'm clearly no expert. I hope and pray that it lasts.

I hope that noone hates me for posting this...I hesitated to because i'd hate for anyone to think I'm bragging or something (I'd love to brag if I thought that the improvement actually had anything to do with me!! ) but then I thought that it may actually give hope; I know Flippity's (and various others) posts always gave me a bit of hope that things COULD get better. I would never, ever have believed that he could go from waking a million times a night to waking once or sttn in a couple of weeks, so it really CAN happen.

I really, desperately hope that it happens for you ladies soon, and that it lasts for us. I know that everyone on this thread deserves a break more than anyone

 

[kosh]

what can i say claire, same here

 

[lisa1980]

Oh Claire - we cross-posted and now my post seems even more ridiculous

(ETA - and Kosh - for you too)

I'm so sorry things are so hard for you atm. Can you get a break at all?

What's happening in the night? Obviously none of us have the answers but there might be some suggestions from the wise ladies on here...

 

[kosh]

lisa - really glad (and jealous! )things are going so well in your house
don't worry about posting, it does give us hope

it's interesting re.capping naps.I was thinking today - LO is sleeping 2hr in the morning and 1hr or more in the afternoon, and still by 6 he;s rubbing his eyes and is incredibly grumpy....wth is going on???


eta
(i'm in an awful mood recently, that's why i'm not posting much)

 

[lisa1980]

Another thing I meant to say was that I got the idea to cap his naps from another forum...I'm not sure if we're supposed to mention other forums but if you want to know about it just PM me.

I didn't follow ALL of their advice but it was quite helpful to get other opinions

 

[lisa1980]

lisa - really glad (and jealous! )things are going so well in your house
don't worry about posting, it does give us hope

it's interesting re.capping naps.I was thinking today - LO is sleeping 2hr in the morning and 1hr or more in the afternoon, and still by 6 he;s rubbing his eyes and is incredibly grumpy....wth is going on???


eta
(i'm in an awful mood recently, that's why i'm not posting much)

Thanks

I ended up only capping his morning nap as after a bit of experimentation and advice I realised that he was using his morning nap to make up for lost night sleep, but that if i capped his afternoon nap he'd get overtired and crazy by bedtime and his sleep would be worse.

He was sleeping around 1.5 hrs am and pm and i started to cap the morning nap to an hour at first and now 45 mins tops, then let him sleep as long as he likes in the afternoon (if not too close to bedtime). This seems to work much better. I had mistakenly thought that he needed more awake time before bed to be tired enough but I now think I was pushing it too far and probably making it worse. I'm having to wake him up and hour earlier to be able to make the times work but that's fine really.

I also started giving him a bath and then keeping him in a dim room from that point onwards with no TV on or stimulation at all whilst he has his evening milk and cuddle. I don't know if that helped or if it's all just coincidence

 

[AngelUK]

Hi ladies, I am still following your posts but since Dominic's sleep has improved so much lately I feel I don't quite belong here any more. He now tends to sleep between his midnight-ish and 4am-ish feed. I put -ish cause he varies with waking and feeding between 11:30 to 1:30 and 3:30 and 5:30! Last night OH said he woke at 1:30 for his feed and then slept till 6:30!!!!! ! So yeah this to me qualifies as a good sleeper now Ok so he still takes a while to settle in the evening but he is actually trying to sleep and isn't fighting it.
But I know since my boys are younger than yours, their (or rather Dom's) sleep problems probably weren't really the same as your LOs'. I really feel for you though cause waking up ever hour for about 2 or 3 months does take its toll no matter for what reason. I am sending to you all. xxx

 

[kosh]

can i have a rant/vent?

i just spent the last hour and a half trying to get LO back to sleep. he went to bed at 8:30pm,woke up at 11pm to feed as usual, fell asleep ok, and then 5-10min later he was up again . fully awake. but tired and rubbing his eyes. nothing worked. i nursed him again. nope. i rocked him. nope. put him down. he was fine for 3 minutes then started to fight sleep. i rocked him again. put him down. started maoning which turned into crying. rocked. put down. tried to crawl. tried to talk. rubbed his eyes. screamed. etc etc etc etc
i guess that the fact i was crying at the same time was prob not helping either he finally collapsed in our bed in a rather unsafe position but i was worried he'd wake up if i moved him so i left him
since he's been ill his sleep has gone back to square one. he's doing one 2hr stretch and then waking hourly. he needs rocking or being in my arms
wtf have i done wrong?? he's 9months and wakes every two hours to feed, stays awake for hrs, needs rocking, etc etc etc, surely this can't be normal?
i don't expect him to STTN but not to sleep worse than a newborn AGAIN!
'm back to work in less than 2 weeks, how on earth am i going to cope? DH is totally useless (partly my fault) and does not understand how upsetting LO's bad sleep is (let alone tiring).
i can't take it anymore

 

[firefly15]

Kosh I could have written that myself. This last week has been awful beyond words for us, LO just will not sleep. At best he'll go down in his cot without too much hysteria but he is waking up every hour and cannot be settled with anything other than boob. He's virtually a year old and his sleep is getting worse and worse as time goes on. I've got to the point now where I actually just feel like I cannot cope at all and I just want to run away.

I also haven't been posting much as I'm too tired and depressed to write coherently atm.

 

[kosh]

Kosh I could have written that myself. This last week has been awful beyond words for us, LO just will not sleep. At best he'll go down in his cot without too much hysteria but he is waking up every hour and cannot be settled with anything other than boob. He's virtually a year old and his sleep is getting worse and worse as time goes on. I've got to the point now where I actually just feel like I cannot cope at all and I just want to run away.

I also haven't been posting much as I'm too tired and depressed to write coherently atm.

 

[MrsHedgehog]

Haven't been on much as parents are here visiting. Kosh for the bad nights. I often feel like I can't take any more but then LO will have a few better nights and I manage to survive for another few days. We've been having better nights and LO has even been going down in her cot and sleeping in there for 2 or 3 hours before waking and I take her into bed with me. We've been busy in the day and LO seems to sleep better when she hasn't had so much day sleep so maybe you are onto something Lisa. I've tried capping naps in the past but I hated waking LO up and it didn't make much difference really. Maybe if I'd persevered with it though it might have worked. Might have to try it again.

 

[MrsHedgehog]

to you too firefly, I missed your post somehow but just saw it now. My mum looked at me a bit strange the other day when I said LO had a great night and only woke 3 or 4 times. She thought that sounded like a bad night! I never expected a 1 year old to sleep so badly either.

 

[kosh]

well LO woke every two hours (or less) all night and then at 6:15am woke but could not go back to sleep, I was sooo tired/upset that I refused to get up and spent almost 1hr trying to get him to go back to sleep he finally did at about 7am it seems he woke for the day at around 9ish.I say it seems because i was so exhausted I didn't even hear him. until i heard this loud 'thump' - he'd fallen off the the bed
needless to say I feel cr@p

 

[firefly15]

well LO woke every two hours (or less) all night and then at 6:15am woke but could not go back to sleep, I was sooo tired/upset that I refused to get up and spent almost 1hr trying to get him to go back to sleep he finally did at about 7am it seems he woke for the day at around 9ish.I say it seems because i was so exhausted I didn't even hear him. until i heard this loud 'thump' - he'd fallen off the the bed
needless to say I feel cr@p

 

[kosh]

well LO woke every two hours (or less) all night and then at 6:15am woke but could not go back to sleep, I was sooo tired/upset that I refused to get up and spent almost 1hr trying to get him to go back to sleep he finally did at about 7am it seems he woke for the day at around 9ish.I say it seems because i was so exhausted I didn't even hear him. until i heard this loud 'thump' - he'd fallen off the the bed
needless to say I feel cr@p

seems we both are so exhausted we can only write "" lol

 

[firefly15]

well LO woke every two hours (or less) all night and then at 6:15am woke but could not go back to sleep, I was sooo tired/upset that I refused to get up and spent almost 1hr trying to get him to go back to sleep he finally did at about 7am it seems he woke for the day at around 9ish.I say it seems because i was so exhausted I didn't even hear him. until i heard this loud 'thump' - he'd fallen off the the bed
needless to say I feel cr@p

seems we both are so exhausted we can only write "" lol

Yes! honestly, I just don't seem to be able to form sentences or even think of words at the moment!!

 

[kosh]

well LO woke every two hours (or less) all night and then at 6:15am woke but could not go back to sleep, I was sooo tired/upset that I refused to get up and spent almost 1hr trying to get him to go back to sleep he finally did at about 7am it seems he woke for the day at around 9ish.I say it seems because i was so exhausted I didn't even hear him. until i heard this loud 'thump' - he'd fallen off the the bed
needless to say I feel cr@p

seems we both are so exhausted we can only write "" lol

Yes! honestly, I just don't seem to be able to form sentences or even think of words at the moment!!

 

[lisa1980]

Firefly, Kosh - (just in case you haven't had enough hugs )

I think the worst bit is when they start to wake at points when you used to be able to rely on a little stretch of peace. I had come to rely on a 2.5-3hr stretch after he went to bed in which to eat and relax a bit before the epic nightmare of the night began, but when I started to lose that too....that was definitely the lowest point for me i think. That was the point when all bets were off.

I really wish i could suggest something, anything, that you haven't thought of or tried already.

Mrs H - glad you're having better nights. I, too, was loathe to wake LO when he was napping but desperate times called for desperate measures. He's actually usually pretty happy when I wake him so it seems that maybe he really just didn't need that long morning nap Who knows. There's really no logic at all.