IVF/ICSI @ Liverpool Womens Hospital

[Likklegemz]

Cvaeh, I'm so so sorry not one made it, words escape me. Have a good cry and try to stay positive no matter how hard that may seem!

Thinking of you x x x

Jules congratulations on the 2ww! Take it easy and by the sounds of it your hubby's looking after you!! Praying it sticks!!!

As for me, I've just come back from a hot stone massage so finally feel relaxed!

 

[Melbram]

Cvea : so sorry none of them made it Do you get another go on NHS?

Gems: glad your finally chilled

 

[cvaeh]

thank you everyone for being so kind.

i was half expecting the bad news but i still feel like i am in the biggest nightmare ever. my thoughts at the moment are donor is our best option as not sure i can take it anymore. the only problem is they can't tell us whether the problem is my eggs or sperm. this probably sounds stupid but i would rather it be an egg problem as i would carry our baby made with husbands sperm.

i don't want to push my husband into anything he doesn't want to do but i can't see myself without children.

melbram- we have already had two nhs cycles. this was our second private cycle. i suppose we were stupid to think things would be any different this time but we just hoped x

juleS - congratulations on being Pupo x x

 

[Lisa40]

So so sorry Cvaeh.... I'm absolutely gutted for you, I know nothing I say will make you feel better, just wish there was something I could do.
How do you go about getting donor eggs? I have considered donating mine to help other ladies as I know how heartbreaking it can be but it's a big decision too as you're handing over your baby to a stranger really... Or can you choose who you give them to?
Best of luck whatever you decide to do next
xx

 

[susiesue]

Cvaeh I was so so sorry to read your post. Cant imagine what you are going through! Are there anymore tests they can do to give you some answers? Thinking of you x

Jules good luck with the dreaded 2ww, we are all here if you feel yourself going slightly mad!! My test date last year was 2 sept and I can remember these few weeks so well, seems like yesterday! Good luck x

Lindy if you start the dr Russell fan club I will defo join!!! X

 

[Likklegemz]

You have me all wondering who dr Russell is!!

Cvaeh is there no tests that can be done to find out?

 

[Lindylou]

Cvah- I am so so sorry. I can only imagine how desolate you are feeling. Sending you and your other half love. Can you arrange a fu with the embryologist to try and find out more?

 

[Lindylou]

Likkle- he is just one of the registrars on the department. He sometimes does EC and is doing the DOLS trial.

 

[cvaeh]

the doctors and embryologists are at a lose to why it keeps happening. we have had every possible test there is for eggs and sperm. i can't help thinking there is something deeper in my eggs that they can't see or test for. i have low amh yet respond well to the drugs. do i just have loads of weak eggs?
I don't think i can go through another no fert cycle.

care do a donation programme which is fairly costly but if its the only way there is it is what we will do. someone on another forum described it like making a cake-there is a lot more to it than the ingredients (egg), it has to be put with other ingredients and cooked probably (in womb and how you bring it up). i don't think i would see it as taking someone else's baby as its just part of the recipe and the rest is so much more important. x x

 

[Lindylou]

I am very much in agreement cvah. If I used somebody else's eggs, I would still be the mummy no question. If I used a surrogate or even adopted I would feel the same. Being a mum to me is about loving caring and raising a child. Xxxx

 

[MrsE75]

Hi ladies

Sorry I've been AWOL the last few days but went to London for my brothers official wedding so at least if we are blessed with embies and I don't get to his big France shindig I've been involved.

Cveh I'm absolutely gutted for you and don't know what to suggest. I'm pretty sure you've had the immune and nk cells test but if not perhaps worth it. Look after yourself and don't make any decisions until you feel stronger.

Jules - yayyyy congrats I know it's been a long road for you so fingers crossed that embie is a belta!! What will they do with the other embies?

Gemz - try and stay calm this IVF road is NEVER easy so you need to take one hurdle at a time.

Hi to everyone else xx
Afm - still on the DR and got my scan on 6th sept so my AF should be here sometime in the next week.
X

 

[MrsE75]

Hi ladies

Sorry I've been AWOL the last few days but went to London for my brothers official wedding so at least if we are blessed with embies and I don't get to his big France shindig I've been involved.

Cveh I'm absolutely gutted for you and don't know what to suggest. I'm pretty sure you've had the immune and nk cells test but if not perhaps worth it. Look after yourself and don't make any decisions until you feel stronger.

Jules - yayyyy congrats I know it's been a long road for you so fingers crossed that embie is a belta!! What will they do with the other embies?

Gemz - try and stay calm this IVF road is NEVER easy so you need to take one hurdle at a time.

Hi to everyone else xx
Afm - still on the DR and got my scan on 6th sept so my AF should be here sometime in the next week.
X

 

[Lisa40]

That's a good way to put it, like baking a cake... I hope what I said didn't come across badly & I know that no matter how a baby comes into your life that it would be loved and treasured so much, I was speaking more from the donor point of view as it's something I really want to consider, but I'm not sure whether I'd always be wondering how the baby was doing & I'm not sure if the not knowing would drive me crazy, but then it's such a great gift you can give somebody, I'm just not sure I'd be strong enough to be that selfless.

I hope I didn't cause any offence it's just something I'm really considering but it's a very tough decision.

Big hugs to you though
xx

 

[bugs]

Cvaeh, I'm so sorry it really isn't fair but as long as your prepared to keep trying you will get your baby.

You might remember I did an egg share cycle for my 3rd go. I never did find out if my recipient got pregnant as I'd rather not know just yet but the way I see it All's I gave her was a bunch of cells it is her blood and body that nourish it to make it grow so I would never think of it as my baby.

You said your not sure what the problem is, I've seen on another forum ladies who go to Cyprus and have a tandem cycle where they could use your eggs but they have a sperm donor and they fertilise half your eggs with your husbands sperm and half with the donors so that way if you again got 0 fertilisation then maybe it is your eggs or you might get a few embryo's with the donor sperm if it's your husbands sperm that's the problem. I hope that makes sense.

You can also do it the other way round with half your eggs and half donor eggs but it's a lot more expensive but it's a way of trying to get round things. I think you've done your fair share of cycles on your own I would certainly look into other options xxxx

Afm I have my appointment on Tuesday for our immune tests. They will take 5 vials of blood of my OH and 18 vials from me and we don't get much change from 2k. I will be shocked if they don't show up something.

Hope everyone else is well xxxx

 

[cvaeh]

hi

Lisa- no you didn't cause offence don't worry. you did get me thinking whether in future our child would not see me as their mum but as bugs says it would be my blood and body that would nourish and help it grow. i would also be honest with my child when it was older enough.

bugs- thank you so much for your comments. thinking that it would be my blood that fed and helped it grow really helps and i really think its the way i should go. i am not rushing into thinks though. i want to make sure it is my eggs first. i did mention about doing half donor and half dhs sperm to care at egg collection and they said it would be possible. however, it still means my body gets yet another hammering for nothing. i would love to do one big cycle with my eggs, donor eggs , donor sperm and husbands sperm but i am sure that would be a fortune and not allowed. my husband has been looking at the possibility of natural ivf where they take the egg you would ovulate naturally and inject. he thinks all the drugs just make my eggs worse but results are very poor with this.

but t.ex

 

[cvaeh]

sorry posted and wasn't finished.

have had my first glass of wine in months and we think we may just go off for tomorrow. we are so lucky we have each other and i know whatever way we will get our dream. we are very lucky to have such supportive families on both sides. i do think they are starting to run out of things to say to us and my poor mum feels helpless.

enjoy the bank holiday everyone x x

 

[bugs]

I know what you mean my poor mum goes through every cycle with me so I think it's just as hard on her when it doesn't work !!

The tandem cycle were you can use both donor eggs and sperm might be expensive here but possibly more affordable abroad.

I looked into mini ivf as I also have an egg issue I seem to get plenty but most of them are immature at collection even though the follicle's look ready to go, Mr Patel thinks it may be linked with an immune issue so we'll see what comes back on these tests he's also going to put me on HRT before my cycle to see if that helps.

Who have you seen at Care, as I said my last follow up was with mr Patel and he was much better than some of the other consultants I've seen there.

Take some time as you say with an amazing OH it does make it easier. We're off to Matthew St today to get wellied so as long as we can pull eachother through it we'll be fine as will you. Much love and my thoughts really are with you xxxx

 

[cvaeh]

hi bugs

we have seen Mr kale every time we have been but after you have said that i will push to see Mr patel in our follow up. my husband has been reading a lot about hrt helping egg quality.

we have just had a phone call from care. i had just got my head round not having anything but one fertilized and divided over night. she was completely honest with us and said late ones sometimes just stop growing and rarely implant so not to build our hopes up. we have to now wait again to see if it divides. even if it doesn't it gives me a glimmer of hope that maybe there is something else they can do for us. they said to start the progesterone. do i have to lie down after i have inserted them? i had bum pellets last time but these say they must go up vagina.

i am on the roller coaster again with some hope but not getting too excited x x

 

[Lisa40]

Oh cvaeh I'll be keeping everything crossed for you that this little egg is a fighter, I'm not sure about the progesterone but I'd say to lie down for a bit just in case, can't hurt

lots & lots of &

xxx

 

[Likklegemz]

Oh hun! I'm hoping it keeps dividing! Big hugs! X x