IVF/ICSI @ Liverpool Womens Hospital

[Victoria1976]

Any news from kateann capt, Sammy and clarkea.. Hope you are all doing ok x

 

[KateAnn]

Hi girls,
How are u all doing? I'm ok- relentlessly searching google about all sorts of things and doing myself no good at all!! Spoke to my nurse yesterday to arrange follow up appointment- January 10th. Hoping to have a stress free Xmas and try to forget about ivf until then!! The nurse said if we can take a positive from it, it's that we will know more for when we try next time.. I suppose she's right, it's just so hard to think positively at the moment!!! I quit Facebook (again!!) yesterday after seeing the 3rd baby scan picture (from 3 different people!) of the week. Threw my phone at the wall and had a massive go at my husband for not doing the dishes during the day! Felt like a right cow!!
I keep thinking about my natural bfp and how it might happen again one day- I'm probably kidding myself right? I want someone to be able to tell me that it will happen for us, and it's just a matter of time- although I know no one can say that for definite. What can we do girls to keep positive and happy? I feel myself sinking lower and lower and it's not a good place to be.
Arghhhhhhh!!!!! So pissed off and frustrated!!!!!!
Love to you all xxx

 

[Victoria1976]

Hey kate ann... I was the same... I googled forever.. Hubby and I went away a few days after it failed to a beautiful villa and all I did was google why it went wrong, who was to blame, what I did wrong.. Etc etc.. I found I just accepted it as time went on and I hope you do too... You have a second go on nhs right as well so at least that's something Hun.
We all I am sure know how you feel.. You won't feel very better until you are ready to ... Be kind to yourself Hun

I'm day 2 late now.. Niggling butterfly feeling in stomach but not doing a test until tomorrow or Monday as I am sick of disappointment and the ivf may have just botched up my cycle. I have had 2 x 28 day ones since ivf and day 30 now.. So for tonight I am going to enjoy a little prosecco, crab linguine and scallops! X

 

[captainj1]

Hi KateAnn, sorry to hear how you're feeling. I'm similar although I think if been hardened to it a bit as this is third time unlucky for me. I feel a bit numb, like I'm stuck somewhere.
I am googling potential new clinics to try where I can get complete end to end care in one place. I am in two minds about whether to change consultant, I've got my WTF appointment on Tuesday night so will see what he has to say about where we go from here first. If he hasn't got any new ideas in terms of approach I think it is time to at least go for a second opinion. There is someone at CARE mcr that specialises in recurrent implantation failure so that might be worth at least a conversation. My consultant is nice but I feel like a lot of things are left for me to push/remember, eg intralipids we agreed I would do again but then it was up to me to remind him after EC about them and I ended up having the first infusion the day before ET which upon researching was too late.

Keeping everything crossed for you Victoria that AF stays away and that this is it for you!! Xxx did you test today? Oh no wait it is still early. My DS decide 6am was a good time to get up today....yawn...

X

 

[Victoria1976]

Hey capt
I think we may have considered another clinic but our response was good so we decided to stay where we are but may consider our agreed final and third shot if
Needed elsewhere... Funny.. Got a letter from them yesterday saying that prices were going up due to the success of embryo glue and eeva... And this was included in the costs.. I was never offered embryo glue last time.. It wasn't even discussed so keen to know why not...

You sound like you are keeping your pecker up and if you have down days I'm sure your son is there to put a smile (or an early alarm clock) back I'd like to know how you get on on tues ..

I'm still no af but test was negative so pretty sure 3 days late it would have shown positive... Oh well we will see.. I'm off to a Cookery school today where we are doing some butchery ... Can't wait! Xx

 

[captainj1]

Yeah, my response has been good each time too - I think I either have chromosomally abnormal embryos (in which case CGH might help) or an implantation issue maybe caused by my Csection uterine scarring. I also read on dr sher website that individualised protocol is he best success factor.

I'm veggie so regularly anaemic which might also be a factor. On that note, enjoy your butchery!!! Hahaha

 

[bugs]

Hi ladies just wanted to update we've just had our consult in Greece at Serum where they did an aquascan and SA on other half, I have a textbook womb and OH has super sperm so icsi has been used in the past when not needed so money down the drain. She is very hopeful that we will get there in 2 cycles. So we returned home full of hope with a suitcase full of drugs so very happy to be going back in January.

Hope everyone is well xxx

 

[KateAnn]

Hey bugs-
Wishing you all the luck in the world!
And although you are not using LWH anymore, please keep posting on here as I for one, really want to keep up to date with your progress and success (I am sure you will have success!) lots and lots of love, K xxx

 

[Victoria1976]

Bugs I'm really pleased for you.. Sounds like you have a plan now! All crossed x

 

[Likklegemz]

Bugs that's brilliant news! I'm soo pleased for you, also fuming on your behalf that ICIS has been used uncessearily!

Victoria, if AF hasn't shown and you've had a bfn, doesn't necessarily mean that your not pregnant! I tested three times before my bfp and look at me now!

Hi to all the gang, nothing much to report on my end, think my BP has gone down again, but will get confirmation Thursday!

Take care x x x

 

[Victoria1976]

Still nothing!!! Will test again tomorrow if still not here..

 

[Likklegemz]

Oooh Victoria, I'm keeping everything crossed!! Did you try during ovulation? X x

 

[Victoria1976]

We only did it twice last month so would be a flipping miracle... No symptoms, nothing unusual just no period .. Yet.. I'll test again tomorrow
How's you gem? Everyone else well?? Xx

 

[Likklegemz]

I'm good thanks Victoria, just tired!

You never know, look at what happened to me - I'm keeping everything crossed the witch has stayed away and you get your miracle bfp x x x

 

[Victoria1976]

Still negative.. Still no period!! What a head f@£&er!

 

[clarkea]

Hi ladies.
Sorry ive not posted in a while. Im in a shitty place! Cant get my head around it not working. Feel like crying all the time n that my life is going nowhere.
Hope all you girls are ok x

 

[Victoria1976]

Clarkea... I'm so sorry... I was talking about today how I've never experienced anything like it.. It was delayed a little for me but then hit me 2 weeks later... I am field based in my role and remember being sat in my car for three hours sobbing because I couldn't stop and I couldn't drive.. I was paralysed with the pain ... No one else will ever get it.. Just those that have been there.. Can I ask.. How do you feel as I'm making assumptions it was like me.. But the pain was horrific and I'm so sorry if you are feeling this Hun x

 

[clarkea]

Youve hit the nail ob the head. I cant think straight. I cant seem to get it out of my head. The only time im happy is when im with my nieces (im very very close with two girl nieces). They make me smile n laugh. My sister wont let me b on my own. Im working half days at work so until my dh finishes work she makes me go round to hers soim not on my own as wen i am i just cant stop crying.
I hate when sumone asks... so whens the next go then? I feel like screaming 'let me get over this one. I dont know myself yet'. Like u said, unless uv exlerienced it u have no clue so just stop trying to understand coz u never will! Sorry about the rant. My cousin naffed me off the other day by asking the exact question. She said oh well at least u can enjoy ur xmas n drink n new yr new start. I said that WAS my new start. Then she followed by saying eeee id never have anymore kids, id rather have my uterus run over by a truck!
As u can imagine, she nearly went threw the window!
I cant seem to find hope or positivity anywhere. I just dont understand

 

[Victoria1976]

Bugger me.. You ha got some inconsiderate arses around you!! No wonder you feel rubbish! Who says that about their uterus to someone who wants kids more than anything!!! I would have panned her!

Positivity.. You won't find it yet.. I didn't.. I still don't.. Why? Becasue we have been dealt a rubbish hand.. But imagine if we do get lucky and imagine when that happens and all those miserable minded, awful people who say silly things will still have all the total lack of social and interpersonal skills .. We will be kinder, stronger, braver and more hopeful and maybe more blessed.. Maybe hey?!

 

[KateAnn]

These feelings are overwhelming. No one can possibly understand unless they've been through it....
It's so hard to try and stay positive but we need to. We need to believe that it will happen for us and its only a matter of 'when' and not 'if'. We need to stay strong and positive because otherwise we have nothing left.
Xxx