January Jellybeans 2013!...

[Betheney]

I don't want to put unrealistic expectations in people's heads but when people would ask me "so how's being a mum?" I'd always reply "not anywhere near as hard as I expected, its pretty great"

But I did have a good sleeper and napped during the day.

sleep does so much for our emotions and state of mind.

I appreciate your honesty. It's nice to hear the HAPPY side of motherhood. I feel like all I hear is:

• Your marriage will suffer and you will be dissatisfied. It will never be the same (in a bad way, not a good way).
• You will never sleep again.
• Breast feeding is so painful, you will want to quit.
• You won't be able to handle labor pains. Nobody will give you a medal for going natural.

I love hearing how people make it work and how it's the best thing in their life. Babies will change everything, but that doesn't have to be a bad thing. I hope my DH and I find a meaning in life even deeper than what we feel now. I want it to strengthen our bond. I won't be perfect and I'm ok with that. I want to be all consumed with love. Perhaps that's a little too 'rainbows and unicorns' of me, but those are my goals.

Your goals are totally achievable. Yes we have arguments and struggles but we are both 100% all consumed with love.

It's so sad how many people enjoy saying all these horrible things to mums to be. I still would not dare say negative things to new mothers. I wonder what makes these women think it's okay. It seriously pisses me off.

I would definitely disagree with nearly everything there. Just don't ask me about labour, i am yet to hear of a person describe labour as badly as i do. lol. I try not to talk about labour because i just freak out all the first time mums and everyone doesn't seem to find it as traumatically painful as i did so then i look like an over-exaggerating wanker (which i'm not). Labour is diff for everyone so there's no comparing really. I am so jealous to such a large extent of women who say "yeah it hurt but it wasn't that bad" what i wouldn't give to have that attitude towards labour. I DO think too much pressure is put on women to have natural births, after going through labour i can say there is 100% no shame in asking for drugs.

As for the marriage point, i'm ever so slightly offended. My marriage has 100% not suffered AT ALL. Me and my husband are just head over heals for one another. It's our 3 year wedding anniversary today!!! (together for 8) We both just dote and adore our daughter. Maybe we were never huge sex addicts so we were both honestly okay when things stopped after the birth of a baby. Don't get me wrong we both LOVE sex. But neither of us are concerned when it's absent for a while. I honestly can't think of a single thing that's gotten worse in my marriage since she was born. We still go out for dinners and Eva comes too. Every morning Eva comes into our bed and we cuddle and play before getting up. We can't go out to the movies anymore as a couple because we have no family to babysit Eva, so instead we buy take away and all 3 of us go to the drive in (doesn't sound like such a bad change does it). I think we're very close, i swear we get closer as time goes on, whether that's caused by Eva or not i don't know. Sure we have some fights over things that are parent related like who does more or less work with Eva, but i have no doubt if she didn't exist we'd be fighting over some other ridiculous thing.

I know alot of women struggle with the loss of "me time" or "adult time" but that was never me. I've hated going out on the town drinking since as long as i can remember. I never felt the need to have time to myself. If i go out without Eva i spend the whole time feeling guilty and while it is easier to shop without a pram i'd genuinly prefer she was there with me. There is no shame if you do want me time though, as we all have different needs and wants. But once again maybe that's why motherhood seems so wonderful to me, as far as my personality goes, i didn't really lose anything, but gained a whole lot.

I love being a mother, it's the best thing i ever did. If you knew me in person you would know me as the person whose constantly telling people that they need to have a baby and that they should do it as soon as possible. lol.

 

[Lillian33]

Hi ladies! Had my growth scan today and the boy looks to be growing on schedule

Deedee so glad your scare is over, rest up. You too Sassy and Nikki and Sonia not nice when you're feeling yuck

Ditty, you and DH will figure out what works best for you and as others have said, ignore all that negativity, it just brings you down.

Such beautiful bumps ginger and nikki

Little J, so happy for your DH and his new job! Nothing worse than being in a job you hate.

Sassy, you were asking about foods from other countries on behalf of DH, I'm Aussie but live in New Zealand, Aussie food is quite diverse but of course you have the very traditional and popular Aussie bbq - we normally have sausages, steaks and chicken. Betheney might have some good Aussie vegetarian foods to add!

Sorry for the long catch up post! Love to everyone, especially those feeling a little under the weather xx

 

[Lillian33]

I don't want to put unrealistic expectations in people's heads but when people would ask me "so how's being a mum?" I'd always reply "not anywhere near as hard as I expected, its pretty great"

But I did have a good sleeper and napped during the day.

sleep does so much for our emotions and state of mind.

I appreciate your honesty. It's nice to hear the HAPPY side of motherhood. I feel like all I hear is:

• Your marriage will suffer and you will be dissatisfied. It will never be the same (in a bad way, not a good way).
• You will never sleep again.
• Breast feeding is so painful, you will want to quit.
• You won't be able to handle labor pains. Nobody will give you a medal for going natural.

I love hearing how people make it work and how it's the best thing in their life. Babies will change everything, but that doesn't have to be a bad thing. I hope my DH and I find a meaning in life even deeper than what we feel now. I want it to strengthen our bond. I won't be perfect and I'm ok with that. I want to be all consumed with love. Perhaps that's a little too 'rainbows and unicorns' of me, but those are my goals.

Your goals are totally achievable. Yes we have arguments and struggles but we are both 100% all consumed with love.

It's so sad how many people enjoy saying all these horrible things to mums to be. I still would not dare say negative things to new mothers. I wonder what makes these women think it's okay. It seriously pisses me off.

I would definitely disagree with nearly everything there. Just don't ask me about labour, i am yet to hear of a person describe labour as badly as i do. lol. I try not to talk about labour because i just freak out all the first time mums and everyone doesn't seem to find it as traumatically painful as i did so then i look like an over-exaggerating wanker (which i'm not). Labour is diff for everyone so there's no comparing really. I am so jealous to such a large extent of women who say "yeah it hurt but it wasn't that bad" what i wouldn't give to have that attitude towards labour. I DO think too much pressure is put on women to have natural births, after going through labour i can say there is 100% no shame in asking for drugs.

As for the marriage point, i'm ever so slightly offended. My marriage has 100% not suffered AT ALL. Me and my husband are just head over heals for one another. It's our 3 year wedding anniversary today!!! (together for 8) We both just dote and adore our daughter. Maybe we were never huge sex addicts so we were both honestly okay when things stopped after the birth of a baby. Don't get me wrong we both LOVE sex. But neither of us are concerned when it's absent for a while. I honestly can't think of a single thing that's gotten worse in my marriage since she was born. We still go out for dinners and Eva comes too. Every morning Eva comes into our bed and we cuddle and play before getting up. We can't go out to the movies anymore as a couple because we have no family to babysit Eva, so instead we buy take away and all 3 of us go to the drive in (doesn't sound like such a bad change does it). I think we're very close, i swear we get closer as time goes on, whether that's caused by Eva or not i don't know. Sure we have some fights over things that are parent related like who does more or less work with Eva, but i have no doubt if she didn't exist we'd be fighting over some other ridiculous thing.

I know alot of women struggle with the loss of "me time" or "adult time" but that was never me. I've hated going out on the town drinking since as long as i can remember. I never felt the need to have time to myself. If i go out without Eva i spend the whole time feeling guilty and while it is easier to shop without a pram i'd genuinly prefer she was there with me. There is no shame if you do want me time though, as we all have different needs and wants. But once again maybe that's why motherhood seems so wonderful to me, as far as my personality goes, i didn't really lose anything, but gained a whole lot.

I love being a mother, it's the best thing i ever did. If you knew me in person you would know me as the person whose constantly telling people that they need to have a baby and that they should do it as soon as possible. lol.

Happy Anniversary to you both!!

 

[Betheney]

DH gets so mad when people at work make those comments to him. Luckily, most of the girls in my office are not in the kid phase of life yet so I don't have to hear too much of it. It was the same when we got married-people would tell us how different it will be when we're out of the honeymoon phase. I find it kind of sad that so many people try to make you feel negative about such fantastic life changes! What does that say about their lives and relationships?

OH MY GOD!!! that's terrible. I feel sorry for their relationships and marriages.

The biggest shock i got out of our marriage was how incredibly in love and smitten we still are after the wedding. I thought we would just fall into a "comfortable" stage. But we didn't. I'm still waiting for our honeymoon phase to end and we've been married 3 years and together for 8. There was definitely no down fall for us getting married. I still completely melt in my husbands arms.

The thing that pissed me off was how negative people were about my age and getting married. I was engaged at 21 and married at 22. Even when i said we've been together 5 years why should i waste another 5 so i'm at an age that is acceptable to everyone else. The amount of people who used to say "you haven't even lived yet" as if a marriage was some kind of death sentence. They would say "you should have a career first and you should travel the world" and the thing that infuriates me is that people don't seem to understand we can all have different wants and desires. I fucking hate travelling and have no interest in visiting foreign countries!! so what, i should just do these things because they fulfill OTHER peoples definition of the ideal life. I could also give two fucks about having a career so why waste time making one when it wouldn't make me happy. It's the same with "you're too young party some more", i hate partying and just used to watch the clock till i could go home. I WANTED TO GET MARRIED SO LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!!! lol.

 

[Betheney]

Thanks for the congrats Lillian and i'm glad to hear your little boy is growing on schedule

Sassy, i saw you mention you're eating alot. I'm also eating so much these last few days, i feel like a total pig but i just can't stop!!! i've gained 8kgs (17.6lbs) so far and i feel like such a fat pig What was the question about other foods that lillian mentioned. Are you looking for vegetarian meals.

 

[ARuppe716]

Hubby and I are still very much head over heels for each other too. I think we surprised a lot of people with our engagement. We met on eHarmony and were engaged at 7 months. A year later we were married and we've now been together for 3 years and I couldn't be happier. Our families were ecstatic for us but people who weren't as close had a harder time with it. And I love that we are even closer going through this pregnancy together. I told DH the other day that my favorite part of every day is at night...he puts cocoa butter on my bump and we lay there sharing our day, talking about baby, and watching him move and groove. To me that is about as intimate as you can get with someone, expecting the life you created together. Yes, we'll be tired and yes, I'm sure we'll be cranky but we have days like that now-we're human! The joy I will have seeing him hold our son and singing him to sleep will definitely outweigh all the other stuff.

 

[Betheney]

naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw!!!! you guys sound SOOOOOOOOOO adorable!!!!!!!!!!!!! Could you seriously be ANY CUTER!!!!

At night we both put Eva to sleep, for some reason we make it a group thing, we both change her and dress her and brush her teeth, last night we all sat on the floor of her nursery while hubby read her a bedtime story then all 3 of us sung 3 nursery rhymes and did all the hand actions as she does them too now. lol. Then kisses all around and off to bed she went. haha!

My hubby isn't too fussed with the pregnancy and he was the same with Eva, he says he's excited but he just doesn't ask or want to really know anything, but i slipped over the other day and sent him a text and he rang within seconds asking if everything was okay and worrying about me, so i know he loves me and the baby but he's just not super involved in the pregnancy. This really depressed me with Evas pregnancy, but he is now so in love with our dear daughter that it really doesn't concern me at all this time around. It's hard for some men to really grasp the pregnancy when they aren't the pregnant one and i know he is going to be head over heals for this baby just like he is with Eva.

 

[Lillian33]

Thanks for the congrats Lillian and i'm glad to hear your little boy is growing on schedule

Sassy, i saw you mention you're eating alot. I'm also eating so much these last few days, i feel like a total pig but i just can't stop!!! i've gained 8kgs (17.6lbs) so far and i feel like such a fat pig What was the question about other foods that lillian mentioned. Are you looking for vegetarian meals.

thanks!

Oh I hope I didnt read wrong, I think Sassy's DH had asked about all the girls on here and what foods are common/tradditional where we're all from - I just answered bbq's - sausages etc! But I know youre veggie and I couldnt really think of anything traditionally Aussie that was also veggie! No biggie!

 

[Betheney]

aaaaaaaaaaaaaah i see.

Yeah BBQ is definitely very traditional in Australia, all else i can think about is vegemite!!! lol. Aren't meat pies suppose to be very Aussie. Also apparently pavlova is an Australian (possibly New zealand) thing, which i was unaware of until recently.

I don't think there'd be any traditional vegetarian foods. My friends who have travelled to Europe say they don't have slushies and frozen cokes because the countries aren't as warm. Me and my friends live off them! i'm always buying a slushy at the movies or from a corner store in fact i bought one yesterday from Mcdonalds.

I think because Australia isn't a very old country and also pretty diverse we kind of have a real mix of foods.

 

[brieri1]

What books are reading? I'm feeling quite unprepared

I'm reading the Dr. Sears Birth Book and Breastfeeding Book.

 

[Betheney]

What books are reading? I'm feeling quite unprepared

I'm reading the Dr. Sears Birth Book and Breastfeeding Book.

I still really value "what to expect when you're expecting"

If you want to feel prepared spend a few hours reading through birth stories and the breastfeeding threads on BnB, you can learn so much of them and really get a grasp on how it all works.

 

[brieri1]

I started reading books on labor and delivery and breastfeeding and... wow. I should have started reading this stuff a long time ago! I didn't even think about it until I hit the third trimester, and now I feel like I have so much to do in the course of three months. its a little overwhelming.

What do you have to do in regards to L&D and BF?

Its not that they are so complicated, mostly the L&D one is about learning to relax through contractions so they aren't as painful or draining and do more towards your dilation a effacement, and the BF one is mostly about teaching the baby to latch on properly. I just felt like I had all the time in the world to prepare myself for those things, and now I'm 12 weeks away. It seems very soon now that I'll be going through labor and delivery and learning to breastfeed my baby girl and its a little intimidating, as excited as I am for her to be here.

 

[brieri1]

What books are reading? I'm feeling quite unprepared

I'm reading the Dr. Sears Birth Book and Breastfeeding Book.

I still really value "what to expect when you're expecting"

If you want to feel prepared spend a few hours reading through birth stories and the breastfeeding threads on BnB, you can learn so much of them and really get a grasp on how it all works.

I'm reading that one too, just more on the week to week development than on its other sections. I just can't believe how fast time has gone. It felt like I had forever before I went into labor and gave birth to my daughter and needed to start breastfeeding her. And now it feels right around the corner.

 

[Betheney]

read the L&D section and the BF section of what to expect, it's really good.

I knew alot about how labour worked prior to being in labour, but i never even considered researching pain coping strategies or breathing techniques, i figured the midwives would do that when i was in labour (they didn't). So i allowed myself to get really hysterical during labour and i pretty much lost it for hours and all i could do was lie on the bed and sob and wish it would end. I always regretted not preparing for labour more. This time i'm reading hypnobirthing the mongan method. The techniques seem really valuable but the rest of the book is brainwashing biased bullshit IMO.

 

[sassy_mom]

Very cool ladies! DH is loving me reading the food to him. lol! Any of you other ladies from other countries have anything interesting to add to the food discussion. DH is really curious to know what it is like in other parts of the world. If it really is like we get to see it on the Travel channel or nothing like that at all.

Ok Betheney ... since you are in Australia and he is bugging the CRAP out of me to ask the STUPIDEST question on the planet. He thinks it is hilarious for me to post this, and I told him it is the dumbest thing ... but just to satisfy him ... He wants to know if Fosters Beer really is the thing to drink over there and even worse ... he wants to know if there are Outback Steakhouses there. I told him I think he watches WAY too much tv but he is begging me to ask so please feel free to laugh away.

 

[Betheney]

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

I genuinly don't know anyone that drinks fosters! lol. I have no doubt people do but i don't know any. I think it was also popular way back when, but definitely not now. I think because it's an Australian beer that's sold internationally it's seen as the "Aussie beer" but yet not many Australians drink it. VB is seen as a pretty Aussie beer here too but it's very cheap so most people who drink it are seen as "Aussie bogans" and once again i don't think it's even that popular either. I probably see Tooheys extra dry or Carlton draught consumed the most.

The outback steakhouses made me laugh the most, we do have them but they're just as gimmicky as they are where you are. It's not like we walk in and say "oh we're home". Although eating a good big steak is pretty Australian, i don't know if it's different over there but going out for a pub meal is very very normal here and most people when going out to dinner just go to the local pub, especially in the less city metro areas, and pub meals pretty much revolve and steak and chicken snitels.

Is outback steak house the only steak house restaurants you have.

Where i grew up there was only 1 called "Lone star" which is now renamed "outback jacks" then recently they opened another called "hogs breath" which i always thought was an American company seeing as we call Hogs Pigs, but apparently it's 100% Australian.

When me and hubby went to Hawaii we thought it was HILARIOUS at "outback steakhouse" because it's AMERICAN FOODS but with Australian themed names. Like i dont' know many places in Australia you can buy buffallo wings but they're obviously popular in the US and we laughed when we saw them on the Outback steakhouse menu but labeled as "Kookaburra wings" lololololololol we were like "this isnt' Australian food it's American food with Australian names!" But to be fair the rest of the food on the menu probably is pretty similar to what you'd find at a steak house in Aus. But Outback steakhouse is an American company which i find amusing.

It's making me wonder is steakhouses are Australian or not... I never considered them to be. I always thought they were rather American like TGIfridays, but maybe they are Aussie.

 

[La Mere]

Betheney- Happy anniversary to both of you! I think it's great how in love you and your husband still are. We have our rough moments, but I can honestly say that marrying my hubby was one of the best things in my life second only to the birth of my daughter.

 

[snowangel187]

There are a ton of other steakhouses in the US. Long Horn Steakhouse, Texas Roadhouse, Ruth Chris. Just to name a few. That's interesting about Outback. I hadn't realized it was an American company.

 

[Kaiecee]

Happy anniversary betheny

 

[sassy_mom]

DH will be so glad that you didn't feel the need to fly over here and sock him in the face for asking. He's been begging me for days and I kept telling him no that is the dumbest thing to ask but I suppose he is only curious. Like Snow said, there are other steak houses. Texas Roadhouse is my absolute favorite! Oh yum. Now I'm hungry! lol!

I think tv puts out some of the strangest things as far as people and countries are concerned. I think it is almost shocking when people find out that yes other countries do about the same as each other. I hate some of the stereotypes that get thrown around here in the US ... the biggest one right now and I REFUSE to watch this is that ridiculous Honey Boo Boo show. 99.9% of the population of Georgia (where I am and where the show is filmed) threw up and then died when they aired that show. The other 1% actually does act like those morons. Thankfully I am not from GA but I do live here so it is just as horrifying to think that now the rest of the US thinks of us like that. DH was born and raised here and because of that show, he doesn't want to claim he is even from here anymore. I'm from California originally and I could never understand those bone headed girls who talked like "Valley Girls" ... um sweetness you sound like an idiot because girls from CA don't actually talk that way.

I know that if we listened to what was on tv, Americans eat burgers, people in the London area eat fish and chips, Australians eat steak and drink beer , Asians eat nothing but noodles and small strange animals ... I mean the list could go on forever. I love learning about new cultures or about the heritage of other cultures but the television is absolutely no help and is why I brought the food topic up. I love food. Always have and some of the shows I watch on the Travel channel (Andrew Zimmern or Anthony Bourdain) makes me want to travel the world and eat my way through it.

Although I try not to buy into the commercialized version of what other countries are like, DH and I have decided that if the city of Portwenn really existed (which I know they filmed it in a real place but not sure how much of the town life is like it is shown) we would move there immediately. --Portwenn is the fictional town in the show Doc Martin which DH and I are hopelessly addicted to. -- I believe the real town is Port Isaac, Cornwall but I know nothing about anything over there other than in that show it is a beautiful little town I would like to live in.