I don't want to put unrealistic expectations in people's heads but when people would ask me "so how's being a mum?" I'd always reply "not anywhere near as hard as I expected, its pretty great"
But I did have a good sleeper and napped during the day.
sleep does so much for our emotions and state of mind.
I appreciate your honesty. It's nice to hear the HAPPY side of motherhood. I feel like all I hear is:
- Your marriage will suffer and you will be dissatisfied. It will never be the same (in a bad way, not a good way).
- You will never sleep again.
- Breast feeding is so painful, you will want to quit.
- You won't be able to handle labor pains. Nobody will give you a medal for going natural.
I love hearing how people make it work and how it's the best thing in their life. Babies will change everything, but that doesn't have to be a bad thing. I hope my DH and I find a meaning in life even deeper than what we feel now. I want it to strengthen our bond. I won't be perfect and I'm ok with that. I want to be all consumed with love. Perhaps that's a little too 'rainbows and unicorns' of me, but those are my goals.
Your goals are totally achievable. Yes we have arguments and struggles but we are both 100% all consumed with love.
It's so sad how many people enjoy saying all these horrible things to mums to be. I still would not dare say negative things to new mothers. I wonder what makes these women think it's okay. It seriously pisses me off.
I would definitely disagree with nearly everything there. Just don't ask me about labour, i am yet to hear of a person describe labour as badly as i do. lol. I try not to talk about labour because i just freak out all the first time mums and everyone doesn't seem to find it as traumatically painful as i did so then i look like an over-exaggerating wanker (which i'm not). Labour is diff for everyone so there's no comparing really. I am so jealous to such a large extent of women who say "yeah it hurt but it wasn't that bad" what i wouldn't give to have that attitude towards labour. I DO think too much pressure is put on women to have natural births, after going through labour i can say there is 100% no shame in asking for drugs.
As for the marriage point, i'm ever so slightly offended. My marriage has 100% not suffered AT ALL. Me and my husband are just head over heals for one another. It's our 3 year wedding anniversary today!!! (together for 8) We both just dote and adore our daughter. Maybe we were never huge sex addicts so we were both honestly okay when things stopped after the birth of a baby. Don't get me wrong we both LOVE sex. But neither of us are concerned when it's absent for a while. I honestly can't think of a single thing that's gotten worse in my marriage since she was born. We still go out for dinners and Eva comes too. Every morning Eva comes into our bed and we cuddle and play before getting up. We can't go out to the movies anymore as a couple because we have no family to babysit Eva, so instead we buy take away and all 3 of us go to the drive in (doesn't sound like such a bad change does it). I think we're very close, i swear we get closer as time goes on, whether that's caused by Eva or not i don't know. Sure we have some fights over things that are parent related like who does more or less work with Eva, but i have no doubt if she didn't exist we'd be fighting over some other ridiculous thing.
I know alot of women struggle with the loss of "me time" or "adult time" but that was never me. I've hated going out on the town drinking since as long as i can remember. I never felt the need to have time to myself. If i go out without Eva i spend the whole time feeling guilty and while it is easier to shop without a pram i'd genuinly prefer she was there with me. There is no shame if you do want me time though, as we all have different needs and wants. But once again maybe that's why motherhood seems so wonderful to me, as far as my personality goes, i didn't really lose anything, but gained a whole lot.
I love being a mother, it's the best thing i ever did. If you knew me in person you would know me as the person whose constantly telling people that they need to have a baby and that they should do it as soon as possible. lol.