A few days ago I noticed how when one of my boys gets overwhelmed, over stimulated or anxious, he plays with his hair. (He has always had a hard time with change). He's been doing it more and more lately, and last night, I found a pretty decent sized spot on the back of his head where he's pulled his hair out 
I went online last night and found out there's a condition called trichotillomania, where someone has an uncontrollable urge to pull their hair out. It said online that it can come with an anxiety disorder. Now I'm freaking out over poor DS. He's been acting up quite a bit lately, so DH talked with him the other night. It seems he's really nervous about when the baby comes and how things will change. I asked him if he has any questions about how things will be different, but he can't seem to articulate what he's thinking or feeling. I have no idea what to do for him. I'm trying to spend extra time with the boys (cuddling on the couch, etc) but I don't know what to do to help him with his fears, thoughts, questions and (obvious) anxiety. I'm so upset that he's so upset and I just don't know what to do. I plan to call his pediatrician today to see what he says, then maybe call the psychologist at school, but the fact that he's so upset that he's pulling his hair out breaks my heart. I actually wondered last night if having another baby was a good idea, and I cried.
I don't want this baby to cause my poor, sweet little man so much stress. I never thought he'd have such a hard time with it and now I am feeling guilty for doing this to him.
Hey Ducky, Firstly, don't freak out, it's a lot more common than people think. I developed this about the time of my GCSE's and I can safely say it had nothing to do with my parents or how i was bought up. Its an unconcious action, i do it when i'm trying to concentrate or figure something out and I don't realise. I would also say that this would have cropped up at some point, baby or not, IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT.
Something that some people find helpful is to try and transfer that nervous action into something else. For example, my brother sucked his thumb as a kid, but he liked to twist a peice of ribbon that was around the neck of his teddy at the same time. I used a worry ring, (a ring set ontop of another that could twist but wouldn't come off), some people wear a band on their wrist and try and train themselves to twist that, I'm not sure how old your boy is, but i imagine he'll have a dress code if he's at school? try picking something he thinks is REALLY cool, but not massively obvious, a wrist band might be a good call, then check it with his teacher. He wont want something obvious to other kids, and its not something you can make him do, its just a suggestion on how to transfer it. I was 15 when i had to deal with it, and its a bit easier to be rational about it when you're older. Basically you're looking to give him something else to fidget with.
There's a huge tendancy when people hear about this condition for them to assume that theres a desire within the person doing it to be destructive, and thats not the case 99% of the time. It's literally a repetative action that feels comforting when you're a bit stressed, (a bit like a todler likes to suck their thumb) and thats why some people find it helps to transfer the fidget to something else. Something i believe boys with the condition find helpful is to combine starting trying to use a replacement fidget (like a wrist band) with a shorter hair cut - its just harder to pull that way. But even if he's very little, i'd give him the option with that - if he feels he's been made to cut his hair and doesn't want to, he may feel less comfortable talking to you about it.
One of the downside of people assuming we do it on purpose is that we can feel like we're letting people down, so just remember that at the end of the day, your lovely little boy is still just that, and that if he can't quite kick the habbit - it's only hair. Once my mum said that to me, it was much easier to talk about.
Feel free to message me with any questions x x x
I spent 45 minutes the other day and I'm still not sure it's complete. I asked dh to check for patches i might have missed and he said no, cause he's shut off. 
I've posted on the other thread ducky
our hospital offers a sibling class I don't know if maybe that's something you could see if it is available. And lastly I would make a dr appt for him and maybe have dh sit with him while u talk to dr about ur concerns and then have dr talk to him. Good luck.
it's not like a snoogle, but I slept great with it last night! I will post a pic of it later.
