Jessie's Journey

[jessieles]

So AF really has it in for me this month

I have really struggled with it all this weekend, probably the hormones.

So im just going to focus on mine and dh's little trip to London in 11 days and try and not focus on this last month on clomid too much. Then when we get back itll b preperation for surgery xx

 

[Teeny Weeny]

I have no clue as to why its not working, I seem to be ovulating really well but something is getting in the way! No af yet just still spotting, so will just wait it out.

They haven't mentioned iui, my ovarian drilling will be first, my pre op assessment in 24th aug so thatll be about 6 weeks away then.

Teeny- Can I just ask, my obgyn hasn't really given me much info about this ovarian drilling but I know you've had it b4, is it because we don't ovulate without help? like even tho I ovulate well on clomid like u do. im jus concernd as she sed I don't have pcos and obv I don't ovulate alone so I don't really get was this will do?

I don't think I've heard of anyone without PCOS having this procedure. It's not to say it won't work for you. However, I seriously advise that you talk to your consumer,rant about the benefits it will have to you in order to make sure that it's not an unnecessary procedure.
I do have PCOS so I understand how it helps me. I'm sure they think it will, but just check as to the reasons why.

Sorry AF got you. Xx
Do you have one more round of Clomid? Xx

 

[jessieles]

Thats what I thought, she said I tick 2 out of 3 boxes for PCOS, i dont have any cysts though, it did say this on a website earlier

'For women who do not respond to treatment with medicine, such as clomiphene, about 50% of them may be able to become pregnant after they have ovarian drilling surgery.'

but i dont have pcos and i am responding to treatment!

I am now on my last cycle of clomid!

 

[jessieles]

Ive just sent an e-mail to the secretary saying i dont think i qualify for this surgery, she point blank told me at my last appt 'you dont have pcos' and im responsing to clomid, i see the biggest side effect is early menopause so im not gonna put myself through that unless i 100% need to!

 

[Teeny Weeny]

I think it's good you have emailed them. I would have a thorough talk with them before deciding.
Has your OH had his semen analysis done? Xx

 

[jessieles]

Yeah he had it done back in October last year and it came back normal. Im gonna ask my obgyn to review it again though, although i suppose it must be ok as ive been pregnant 2ice by him xx

 

[fairyy]

So sorry for AF Jessie. Holding hope that this last cycle of clomid will do thr trick for you. If not then don't lose hope. One way or the other it will surely happen.

Focus your trip to London and have fun.

 

[jessieles]

My head is frazzled at the moment

I had decided the other day I wasnt having the op and I was gonna ask for more clomid and then potentially look at ivf.

But i emailed a fertility clinic yesterday and they agreed on ovarian drilling being the next step, so I'll wait to speak to the dr next Monday about the surgery and if they assure me that the risks are low then ill go for it.

Then im not sure what happens.

Weve been looking at holidays though as i defo need a break.

The answer to all my prayers would be this next round of clomid working, but I cant seem to drag myself out of the blues at the moment, i have no motivation to bd or get my hopes up or ttc atall! This month has defo been the hardest!

 

[Teeny Weeny]

I feel exactly the same. I have my hopes pinned in my next round of Clomid as then it means surgery too.
I hope and pray we both get our September BFP and there will be no need for anything else. Xxx

 

[jessieles]

Lets do everything we can to make this the final round of ttc!!

 

[fairyy]

That's the spirit ladies. Wishing you both the very best in Septrmber.

 

[jessieles]

So Ive woken up feeling quite positive today.

I watched my wedding video last night and for the 1st time it made me cry, i was looking at myself thinking aw bless you have no idea of the heartache ahead. and i thought to myself i have to sort myself out, ive got myself into a right little rut and it needs changing. ive put on weight from where im constantly comfort eating, and i need to snap out of it.

Its like since my miscarriage ive just lot all my motivation. so things need to change, i spoke to dh las night n he promised to help me, i also deleted all my phone apps related to ttc so that i stop obsessing over what days we bd, i need to help myself relax.

So ive woken up full of motivation i need to get back to the old me. Thers nothing to say that ill be pregnant for a while yet and i cant keep wasting life being miserable and obsessive.

So my plans is

Healthy eating and move more
Try to relax about ttc, enjoy my dh and no more tracking anything
Enjoy my trip to London next week
Prepare for surgery

 

[Babylove100]

Ah that's a great attitude!! Good for you!!!!!

Ps - just so you know there's a tube strike in London Tues-Fri. Rubbish. Xx

 

[Teeny Weeny]

Love your new avatar and approach Jessie.
I think stress and mood are directly related to long term TTC. All we focus on is getting pregnant. Pinning our hopes every month on it just to see those two beautiful lines. The disappointment becomes too much and overwhelms us.
I am at the overwhelmed and upset stage at the moment as I am awaiting AF. Positivity will come for me as I take my medication and I will be full of new hope for my next cycle. However, I will try like you to remain positive.
Positive that it will happen, but I just can't control when.

You talk wise words and it's great to see you feeling better. Enjoy your break to London, it will be fab. I live a 20 min train from London but don't visit very often. Perhaps I will soon and take the children to enjoy the sight too.

I wish you all the best this month. Xxx

 

[jessieles]

Babylove- ooooh thats good to know, thanks hun, I hope you are well.

Teeny- Its the hardest time Ive ever gone through, and ppl who havent been thru it just dont get it. One of my closest friends came over the other eve and shes single and doesnt want kids, and i said aw its really hard,one of my closest mates is pregnant again, her second since ive been trying and she replied 'its not a competition jess'. and i thort y do i even try to get her to understand.
i know its hard but lets do r best to try and relax

 

[TinyLynne]

I'm so glad for your new outlook. I'm going to delete mine too then! I got a tattoo a few weeks ago that says "it does it do to dwell on dreams and forget to live" so that's what I've been trying to do. It's hard though.

I'm so sorry your friend said that, she obviously has no clue!

 

[jessieles]

aw that is a lovely sentiment! it is hard, even when ur tryin to relax ur thinkin mayb ill get pregnant now im relaxed which kinda defeats the object hahaha!

 

[TinyLynne]

It is hard. I keep failing at it. Lol. Relaxing definitely affects ovulation, as I think that is why I'm on day 30 and no O yet! So in a way, it can affect fertility.

 

[fairyy]

I absolutely love your attitude

 

[jessieles]

I went for my pre op yesterday, the nurse there only discussed a lap and dye, she had no details of ovarian drilling, which would make sense seeing as i dont have pcos or irregular periods. so ive emailed the consultant to check this is correct. if so it looks like im just having a lap and dye