Jes - I got the picture from a print screen so you can ignore my private message (I could not copy and paste, but I beat my PC)
Anyway - I am going to try and tweak and see what I pull.
Babykiser - I don't really want to type this whole story publically but as i agree with Madrid, I will. For those of you that don't like sad stories, skip this post....
Kiser, I know your pain! We m/c at 14 weeks about 7 years ago. DD#1 was 2.5yrs and DS was about 10 months. I will never forget that experience, I was bleeding a bit so I called the OB office. I had spotted with DD#1 b/c I was "nesting" too hard - moving furniture, carrying heavy items, "hands and knees" type cleaning, etc. - I was okay after doc put me on rest for two weeks and the spotting was always sort of brownish, never a "flow" so I was lucky - but I had taken for granted that the "strong lady" genes in my family were invincible. I went on to have DD#1 at full term, after a few months of being very lazy after the scare.
With my third pg, which I was also conviced was a girl - we had already named her Emma Leigh - I began to lightly bleed, but it was red. I called the OB and the CNP told me to put my feet up (this was at night) and rest and to come in at 7am the next day. I didn't feel anything else, so I was hopeful - the next morning I woke up went to the bathroom and it was bright red. Not a lot, but definitely not "spotting" - we went in to the OB with two kids in tow, I was more alarmed due to the color, but still hopeful... we had an ultrasound. (Maybe I should explain that there are 2 U/S rooms and 2 NST rooms at my OB office - all in the same hallway.) The door was left open like 2 inches as she began the test and I immediately heard a heartbeat, DH and I were so happy. But CNP got up, shut the door and sat down next to me again, placing her hand on my leg and saying, "Sweetie, i am so sorry, that is not your baby's heartbeat, it's coming from next door. I can't find your baby's heartbeat." I had my kids with me and DH was crying and it was like someone reached in and tore my heart out.
A year later I was pg with DD#2 - so scared, I bought a doppler - the 3MhZ ones that the doc uses! I spent like $250 and bought it on eBay from a good feedback seller in China. I listened every day at least three times. I was paranoid, though Madrid is right, our worry will not stop what God has in His plan. His plan for my fourth pg was for a healthy baby girl to join our family. I believe that my baby's spirit came into my DD#2 and she is a lively one! Confident, independent - "Vivi" it means vivacious life and there is no better name for her! I realized, a few years later, that what happened was not my fault, I had had three pg in 2 years, doc told me that my body was taxed and that we would have another. My mom told me it was a blessing, my MIL cried for two weeks, my neonatal nurse practioner friend told me that there was likely something very wrong and that I had to believe that the m/c was God's way of protecting my family (kids) from such future despair. Everyone made sense in my head, but my heart was so broken. See, I cried with that BFP - I cried and told DH that I was not ready for a third. The house was too small, the kids were too little, money was too tight, I was a wreck. About a month later I began to enjoy the feeling of having 3 kids close in age and figured that small kids don't care if the house is small and we eat PB&J three nights a week as long as we are a family - I began to have faith - and then it was taken from me. I had to live with the guilt of wishing it away - and as a Catholic, I know guilt first hand!
Since I hemmorahged after labor with DD#1 and DS, my OB suggested a D&C versus a natural m/c, since i was in my 14th week and had two small kids at home he was fearful i may hemmorhage at home when DH was at work, so se scheduled the D&C. It was at the hospital and when we arrived, we had to go to the labor and delivery floor of the hospital for the D&C - It was horrid! They did the surgery in the c-section OR, so instead of entering the doors to have a baby I was entering to send one back to heaven - I bawled my eyes out for an hour, don't even remember what my doc told me i was crying so much!
Well, when my D&C was over, I finished the last projects on the house, put it for sale and took the kids with DH to Disney for DS first birthday. We moved into our current home, and the house just asked for another baby - DH wanted to wait - we just took on a bigger payment. I got pg on the pill!! That spirit was ready to enter our lives and she is now 5.5 years, fiesty as hell and in kindergarten! I do believe that the baby left us so that I could get ready for her!
I once had a "sprit reader" tell me that I had three child guides that were with me and that I would definitely have another boy - he was waiting for me to invite him in - today I believe that is the bean that i am growing right now. I have to have faith or I may as well give up.
Kiser - I know this was a long story (and all you others that read thru) - stay faithful. Those babies may come back to you in many years and a new spirit may join you first - God knows what he is doing even though we often feel slighted. Enjoy each day that passes by and your baby grows a bit more. Stay happy and positive so that the little bean can feel his/her mommy being happy and excited about him/her joining your world -stay upbeat and keep posting to all us crazy mommas - we understand! XOXO ~ jo
When is AF due? xoxo
im so sorry for what u had to go through..but i thank you for telling me because in a sense it brings me peace. and its still hard for me to believe that i couldnt do anything to save my twin babies, but there was nothing that me or any dr could have done! i need to put my fears aside and embrace the wonderfulness(dont know if thats a word) of being pregnant. God had yet again given me a gift and i dont want to seem as if i dont appreciate it! i do so much! this may sound wrong to some people, but i use to wonder why i had been given to babies only to lose them...i'd rather not have had them at all....but i have since changed my thoughts on that, i am so proud to have been those babies mother even if it was for 8 short weeks 
My Ovulation Chart
& i'm hoping it's good timing xx
