***Lion Cub Mommies-Back In Action!***

[spidey]

ooooo! Cleckner- wouldn't it be something if you're feeling yourself ovulate!! So cool!!! When I feel a random cramp I always wonder if I'm ovulating

 

[cleckner04]

The cramping lasted about half an hour!! I think it could've actually been ovulation! How weird! I never put 2 and 2 together like that before. I do get random cramping every month. And oddly enough, I actually noticed creamy CM last night when wiping. If I'm not careful this could become obsessive.

 

[spidey]

oh wow! It's all so textbook! Do you know the exact number of days before AF arrives? Would it be exactly 14 days from now? When my nipples start to get sensitive I have 14 days until AF arrives. One day I'll get myself one of those monitors and I'll be able to show that nipple pain= ovulation to prove my theory right

 

[cleckner04]

I have no clue when AF will arrive. They are so random. We'll see!!

I looked up luteal phases and it's really supposed to be over 12 days. I guess some doctors consider it a problem if it's under 12. But you need 10 for the egg to implant. So I'm hoping I have at least a 12 day luteal phase.

 

[Pippin]

Sounds like you felt it Cleck I haven't felt ovulation but I've felt implantation for all three pregnancies a fluttering like spasm sensation about 7-9 dpo lasts about a minute. Then I get boobs hurting bang on two days later then the positive test..... I find that very weird

 

[Shiv]

sounds like you felt ovulation Cleck - for me it feels like mild AF cramps for about half an hour! hurrah!

Still thinking of you Jean

 

[cleckner04]

That's what it felt like Shiv! Like slight AF cramps.

Well oddly enough, I got another peak today! I don't know what that means. I thought I'd only get it a day and than it'd disappear.

Also, I'm REALLY struggling this week with weightloss. I'm nearly ready to just give up. I have gained a lb. this week and the only thing different I've done was ADD exercise in. I'm doing 20 minutes on the elliptical and than 60 minutes on the exercise bike. Plus my daily walk. But I'm gaining. So I don't know if it's new muscles or what but I'm really frustrated by it. Another thing I changed was I tried to work out during Emma's nap again. Because I'm sick of staying up so late doing it. But the day I worked out during the nap instead of at night, I gained TWO lbs overnight. So I think I might start over fresh next week and completely wipe the slate clean with a new start weight and the same goal but maybe the fresh start will get my mind back into the game.

 

[Shiv]

Cleck, do I remember you saying you skipped some work outs LAST week? I general I find that it tells on the scales a week after you have been naughty, so it might just be that, and next week the scales will go down again because of the extra exercise? Also it could be muscle gain (you must be getting nice and toned), have you considered measuring yourself with a tape measure once a week, as that will show your changing body shape even if the scales are not being kind?

 

[cleckner04]

Yeah I skipped exercising 2 days last week. I haven't been measuring myself at all. Maybe I will start. I have to find my sewers measuring tape first. It is just so frustrating sometimes. It's coming off so slow which is fine but I wanted to be down to 200 before DH gets back. I don't think that'll be possible. Honestly if I could lose just 15 more before he's back I'll be satisfied. My mind just isn't in it the past few days. Although I've been forcing my self to workout extra hard. It is even worse when I read journals on here and those girls are losing like 5 lbs a WEEK! There is no way I could do that. For one I'm not doing extreme diets. Although stupidly I've been considering doing a detox of sorts but I doubt that'd be good for my milk supply...

And I'm a jumble of rants today..

 

[Shiv]

Cleck -losing 1 to 2 lbs a week is not slow weightloss, it is recommended weightloss. Sure you could lose 5 lbs a week by only eating cabbage but as soon as you ate normally again it would come back on. You are doing things completely the RIGHT way. From what I can remember you still have 4 months until Corey is back, and 20lbs in the time frame is REALLY do-able, even if you have a couple of slack weeks you still have plenty of time left. Perhaps you need to take a couple of days off to recoup and then get back on it. It can be so easy to get into an exercise rut, maybe try something different, an exercise dvd perhaps for a few days just to "liven" things up. Your body can get used to certain exercises and you need to shock it by doing something different.

But most of all please do not beat yourself up, I truly believe that the way your are doing things is the right way and you have been consistently losing, crash diets are effective in the short term but not in the long term. I am really proud of you for sticking to your exercise regime and continuing to lose weight, i know I couldn't do it (and I have tried!).

 

[cleckner04]

Thank you hun!! I think I need a good kick in the ass sometimes. I'll try a dvd tonight and see if it can get me out of my funk. I have 2 dance workout dvds that I've never even tried.

The girls in my weightloss group on here are lovely but this past week they are all like 'well I haven't lost this week but at least I'm not GAINING!'...And I don't comment because I actually am gaining this week. I know they aren't trying to be insensitive but its like poking me with a stick while I'm already down.

Thanks so much for the pep talk. I think I'll start measuring myself because maybe I wouldn't be so down if I saw inches dropping.

 

[Shiv]

oh and Cleck don't worry about gaining throughout the week - you just need to have a big poo! Maybe you need to start limiting yourself to just weighing yourself once a week?

 

[cleckner04]

I know but than I worry I'll be gaining all week and not know it. So if I gain I work out overtime trying to make up for it.

And I do need a good poo. It's been a while since I had a good one. I think I'm all backed up in there.

 

[Shiv]

Well there's your extra weight, no amount of exercise is gonna shift that get yourself some prunes

 

[spidey]

Cleckner, I think you're losing weight the perfect way. All those people who lose 5 pounds a week either started out at 400 pounds or they're doing it wrong. I use to get a good work out doing a belly dancing dvd- I wonder if netflix carries those. Do you exercise after Emma goes to bed?

I am the poo expert because of Kira, and you should eat some sunflower seeds along with those prunes

I decided to really jinx myself into getting pregnant this month and I finally got myself some new bras! My boobs are back to their normal small size so my C cup bras were much too large. Now I have 3 pretty new bra's and they're not nursing bras either! My boobs are small enough that I really don't need nursing bras (or bras)

 

[jelr]

Hey girlls

thank you so much for all your lovely comments - Sorry I was MIA but on Tuesday I went into a total hole of depression and couldn't face anything or anyone - my mam had taken Natasha for the night so we spent the day over there in case the bleeding got heavy as we decided it was best for DH to go to work so as he could take time off if I needed the hospital and I couldn't even interact with my own family or Natasha. It was horriblle as I was just stuck in my own head and kept blaming myself and woindering why we had to go through this a second time.

But on Monday night I spent all night crying and cryed myself to sleep on DH chest and really gave my self a kick in the bum and decided I had two choices and that was to go completely under this where my daughter would suffer or try and get on with it so I took the decision that my daugher and DH need me so I have to try and get on with it so yesterday I was was starting to feel some way human again. I'm still hurting like crazy and feel really in limbo land as Its still only spotting when I wipe so I think we will be probably still sitting here next Monday until the next scan is done before anything happens but for the moment I am just focusing on the precious little one I already have - 3 years ago when this happened before I didn't even think I would ever have children and I do have the most beautiful daughter ever and a wonderful husband and great family and friends so that is going to be my focus and i will come through this.

I think I'm also going to ask to be referred back to gyne as it must be my pcos causing this as I know it increase the risk of mc and I feel 2 of them is a bit of a pattern - so I'm going to see if there is anything they can do to help. I dont know if there is or not but it is worth a try as I honestly dont have the strength to go through this again. I dont know how other women do it 4 and 5 times and poor Booth even with 3.

Unfortunately we were been blown out of the water with some more bad news yesterday as DH has been put on temporary lay off effective immediately which is a load of sh*te really as it means he can't look for work and wont get redundancy so had to go down to the social this morning to sign on for benefits which he has never had to do in his life. His boss will have to make him redundant in 4 weeks time if he still doesn't have work for him but it is looking like his boss can't even afford to pay redundancy so it will probably have to come from the state which will take a year. It is just the worst time for this to come and I feel so sorry for DH as I couldn't even go with him today as I'm still housebound in case I start to hemorrhage (my mam had a mc at 9 weeks and it soaked through her clothes and everything so I can't chance it) and I know it is killing him as he is really proud and a real mans man and needs to be the provider - so at the minute we are kinda screwed because I am also out of work until d&c and all is done - I think I might be paid though but wont know until the end of the month.

I think I'm still in shock as I haven't even got upset about it - I actually laughed and said what the hell else can happen this week - I think if I dont laugh I will have a melt down.

On the up side DH reckons he will get a job no problem even though jobs are really scarce here but he is the best in his business and has 11 years experience and has had offers in the past but has never taken them because of loyalty. I'm so angry with his boss though - he knew what was going on with me as DH had to leave work the other day to meet me in the hospital and he hasn't even asked how we got on or even given any of them any notice - there is sill loads of work in his business and he has basically ran it into the ground because he got too greedy and moved to a new premises two years ago which cost him 7 million and he has also spent another million on his own house in the last year - so you can see where the cash flow has gone. DH has made them millions over the years and only ever had 2 days sick and 2 days when I MC before off in 11 years - he even had to go back early from his time off after Natasha was born because they were stuck.

Anyway enough about me - Shiv: I really hope Sophia is better the poor little mite - that must have been heartbreaking when she wouldn't let you touch her when she was in pain. No wonder she wasn't eating her dinner she probably wasn't able to with her throat.

Cleck: Yay on the monitor peaking - Dont you dare put yourself down for the weight - you are doing brilliantly, I am a bitch for fad dieting and it does go quickly for me but I have to work at it constantly to keep it off from doing it so you are doing it the right way. I hold my hat off to you as I wouldn't have the patience and it will stand to you because you wont pile it back on quickly. Just wondering the last time you put up a bit was it roughly when you were Ovulating too - the reason I ask is for years I have stood on the scales obsessively every day and from doing that realised that half way through my cycle I carry about 3lbs extra for 3-4 days so I reckon it is water retention when I ovulate - if it is it means it should drop back to normal in a few days and it is not actually a gain. I reckon you will definitely get those 15lbs off before DH gets back.

Pippin: Yay for shopping - sounds like you got loads of lovely stuff - I just saw on FB too that you have your scan soon - Best of luck with it, you time is flying by.

Spidey: Glad you are over your ttc wobble - I think it is totally understandable and we all have wobbles from time to time as we know how hard it is with a new baby but I totally agree with Shiv - think of how fast the last 2 years has gone and it will go even quicker with two LO's and you will be back to doing bits for yourself but will have the lovely joy of two LO's. Yay for all the jinking with new bras and pads - this month will definitely be yours I hope.

 

[spidey]

jelr- This has been such a crappy week for you Perhaps you'll get all the bad luck out of the way and the rest of the year will be nothing but good times. It's a good thing to let yourself grieve, so you shouldn't feel bad about taking some time to cry and be sad Do you think you'll start actively trying for another baby now? I'm sorry about your DH and his job. Thats awful his boss has been so greedy and hasn't given any concern about his employees.

 

[cleckner04]

jelr- Oh hun that's awful! I can't believe they won't even pay your dh. And you being depressed. Honestly days like that are the only way to get by. You gotta cry sometimes to get it out of there. You are so amazing and you'll pull through this. You already sound like you are by being resolved to be strong for Natasha.

I'm really not sure but I think you may be right and I put some pounds on at the same time last month. I don't keep track really so I can't tell you exactly when I did but I did have trouble last month for a week too.

I gained another pound overnight. I have a feeling part of this is because I switched my workout to emma's naptime instead of her bedtime. So I've been going to bed a bit earlier but last week when I lost over 2 lbs. I was napping with Emma during the day and working out around 11PM at night. So that's the main change that I did this week.

 

[Shiv]

jelr - that is so rubbish about Jim's job (I think God must have misunderstood my bargain, as he has completely f*cked up this time ). Is Jim a carpenter (or have I completely made that up?) I think good tradesmen will always find work because there are so many dodgy ones out there, people always look for the good ones. I really hope he gets sorted soon as I know how stressful it is.
I think you are being really brave and strong for Natasha, but do remember as Spidey said that is ok to be upset, you are not superwoman.

Spidey, how are you boobs in comparison to before you got pregnant, condition wise? Mine are terrible, they stayed a bit bigger (I was a A/B cup and I am C cup now) but they are just so saggy and they have stretchmarks all over them and just feek very empty. I certainly don't blame breastfeeding, I blame the fact that they grew from an A/B cup to a DD in the space of a week when I got pregnant, they didn't stand a chance really

Cleck, in theory it shouldn't really matter when you exercise as it should be as simple as Calories in - calories out and all that. But you never know, I guess it could make a difference as you are eating after your work out instead of before. I'd give it a week or so to balance out. But know that if you aren't eating any more than normal, and you are exercising as much (if not more) then it will right itself, it is probably just your cycle etc

As for me, well not much to report here. Sophia is feeling much brighter, she is tantruming SO badly though. It's like I have to tiptoe around her, if I try to take her upstairs to get dressed she goes off on one, if I try to bring her downstairs again, she goes off on one! I just don't know what to do with her!

 

[jelr]

Thanks girls - Oh dont worry I'm still crying at the drop of a hat, I'm trying not to do it in front of Natasha though. although I haven't done much today but then I haven't really had time to think or feel anything with all the sorting things out for DH. It's more the way I was the other day was not good - I could feel myself slipping into a mad depression that I just didn't want to see or speak to anybody not even my poor baby and I really felt like staying in bed and hiding from the world and it was that that I decided to either go under or pull myself back up for Natasha and so far it is working, mind you I have a funny feeling I will probably fall apart for a day or two after the scan next week and again after the d&c - but I just keep telling myself we got through it the last time and will manage this time and at least this time we have our precious little woman too.

Spidey: I'm in two minds on the ttc - one minute I think we will try straight away as I know being pregnant definitely helped with the grief for both of us the last time and I know they say you are definitely more fertile after a mc or pregnancy so I'm thinking maybe it would be best to go ahead and I hopefully wont have much trouble getting pregnant. Then on the other hand I'm thinking well maybe fertility is not a problem for me anymore seeing as I got pregnant with no trying at all, but I'm thinking maybe we should wait and get referred back to gyne again to see if my hormones and the pcos is totally out of whack and if there is anything they can do to prevent another mc and also I'm thinking maybe we should wait and see how things fair out with our financial situation at the moment. At the moment I think I'm swaying towards waiting until I can be seen in the hospital (which knowing our healthcare could take 3-6 months) as I honestly dont feel like I would have the strenght to have my heart broken like this again, but then i might feel totally different after the d&c is done and may not be able to think about anything else only having another baby like the last time - so for the moment I think it is just take each day and see how we go.

Cleck: I know I can't believe it myself - DH's boss is really greedy man and doesn't seem to care about anybody or thing only himself and making sure him and his family are okay. I definitely think it is water retention from ovulation because changing the time of your exercise should not make that much of a difference and especially when you put on another lb overnight - did you drop the weight you put up the last time after a few days - thats what happens with me - this extra 3 to 5 lbs just comes out of know where and goes again after a few days - at least now with your monitor you will know exactly when you are ovulating and see if you are having trouble again next month.

Shiv: Yep the man above definitely f*cked up your bargain and mine and everyone else rooting for us this week unfortunately. No you definitely plucked a carpenter out of know where lol - DH is an insulation sales and technical rep / manager - but he would sell sand to the arabs and knows the technical side of it inside out after being at it 11 years. We are hopeful as insulation is one of the only areas of construction over here that is booming as the goverment have grants available to everyone to get it done to try and bring down the countries emissions costs and the mad thing is DH's company are one of the biggest insulation companies in the entire country but because of pure greed and bad managment there are in trouble as DH has been making them plenty of money still. So hopefully that will all stand to him and if not he is the type of man who could turn his hand to anything - he does make furniture and that for the house and built our sun room himself so hopefully he will get something - but then we are still in really scary times over here and have a new goverment and the country is still basically bankrupt so there are not many jobs going going to begin with. Is there anything looking promising for David yet?

Not much news with me, Natasha has been a dream this week thank god as like you Shiv we were getting loads of tantrums for weeks so I think they are just going to go through phases of it over the next few months or years or for the rest of their lives lol - Aw no I hoping any of the phases will be short lived. I feel so sorry for DH as I know by his whole demeanor today that he is lost. Even though he hasn't enjoyed working there for the last few years, It really an end of era for him and it will be a big change after 11 years and it was where we met as I worked in the office there before I went and got my qualifications for adult ed. I just wish his boss had completely made him redundant when we all know that is what he is going to have to do in 4 weeks time, but by putting him on this short term lay off it means he can't look for another job as he would lose his redundancy and notice entitlement and that would be worth about 26 weeks full pay. We reckon it is probably because his boss is going to file for bankrupsy and doesn't want to be liable to pay the redundancy himself as basically he doesn't the money to pay them all redudancy and that way the state will have to pay it. It will take about 12 months once the stage have to pay it but at least if we are running into trouble with the mortgage if Dh doesn't get a job or gets a lower paid one that we will have something to fall back on eventually.

It just makes Dh situation so much harder with not being able to look for work and I would say he has never been not working for this long in his life so I reckon he will definitely go a little stir crazy also. He is looking around the house for things to do already today.

Anyway enough waffling - I honestly can't thank you all enough for all your support over the last fews weeks and want you to know you are a fantastic bunch.